I was born and raised Catholic. Even though my parent weren’tstrict followers, they lived by the morals and values of the Catholic faith,and stilled those values in me. I had manydisagreements with the Church and always felt that there was something else. I also volunteered a lot during my teens and young adult life. Then I was introduced to dianetics. A very good friend of my ex-husband sent us the book as a special gift with a note that said something along the lines that the book helped her stretched her wings and wanted us to have a similar experience. Being a rabid reader, I read the book cover to cover. And somehow the book explained a lot of questions I had about my life and life in general. I was living in the far country side; my ex-husband knew the owner of a mission in the capital so when we went there, I was off to the mission to learn more.
The fact that was a religion kind of put me off but I liked DMSMH and was curious. Some years later ,I was staying with the friend that sent us the book who was living close to where my ex-husband was working. There was someone from the Freewinds there working on starting a mission. She was very sweet and nice and I bought the integrity course. I had wild wins there, not that I had many O/W but I realized that many things in my life were my responsibility and I loved the code of honor. That course blew alot of charge I had with my mom and it totally fixed out relationship. And I was sold.
When we finally moved back to the city, I went straight to the org and felt home! Right then, the owners of the mission were moving and wanted me to join staff… which I did. I had only done some life improvement courses and life was happy. I was the Purif I/C there. I did some more basic courses and at the sametime I was doing some book one auditing but weren’t having wins. My class sup did an interview with me and Irealized that I was clear! It was an informal interview, after all these is a third world country… I was VGI’s and we left it at that. Life kept moving, I was ‘on staff’ and doing well. I remember once I had a disagreement with the behavior of someone at the org and I talked about it with the mission’s auditor. And she told me what kept me glued to scientology for many years after that. She said to always remember that the tech works if the right tech is applied in the right way, that we all are only human and we all make mistakes, to never let that fact make me doubt about the tech. For what I had seen up to that moment, that rang pretty true and up until very recently I held that as my stable datum.
My ex-husband weren’t involved, but he liked what I shared with him. His life was very busy at that time but he participated in certain events and supported me being on staff.
One day I was called to the org for a meeting. There it was a recruiting mission from the Freewinds. When it was my turn she found my ruin pretty easily, I was having a hard time with my husband. She showed me the contract and said that everything would be solved if I joined! I didn’t buy that up and told her that I couldn’t sign without my husband, even if we were having problems. She said it was fine, and to have him come to talk to her and she will help us with ourproblems. Naïve me, I thought she was actually thinking on helping me with my problems with him, not on helping me on my problems to join!
But any way, I told my husband and we went to the org the next day I think. He met with this person in private and I was expecting him coming out all loving but when I was call in, I was presented with his contract all nicely signed and a blank contractfor me to sign! I asked about the billion years thing, and whatever was said to me I interpreted as being symbolic and that it was a regular 2 ½ or 5 year contract. Naïve much? Yes, I signed. We were promised training in the States and then work at the ship. We were asked when could we start and we said in two months, we needed the religious visas, sell/pack our apartment and say bye to friends and family. They said it was good and we left exited of the change that was coming.
Someone from the Freewinds (Leigh?) started calling daily to see our progress, I thought it was nuts but whatever. They wanted me to go immediately to CLO EUS since I already had a tourist visa and they would do the switch once here. I said no, I’ll go when I had the correct visa and in two months as I said at the beginning. I hated the pressure, but I never talked to her, all communication was through my husband. Once we got our religious visas, they starting pressuring again to go immediately. I held my ground and didn’t understand the pressure, but my husband believed them and left a week earlier. I hated him and them for that. A lot of things happened during that week with me. I arrived the next week to Newark, and he was waiting for me. We took the bus to Union Station and learned of the EPF and that we couldn’t sleep together. The not sleeping together didn’t go pretty well for me. I had an out of 2d that week that I was alone and was really looking forward to sharing the bed with my husband again. Nice welcome to the sea org…
The fact that was a religion kind of put me off but I liked DMSMH and was curious. Some years later ,I was staying with the friend that sent us the book who was living close to where my ex-husband was working. There was someone from the Freewinds there working on starting a mission. She was very sweet and nice and I bought the integrity course. I had wild wins there, not that I had many O/W but I realized that many things in my life were my responsibility and I loved the code of honor. That course blew alot of charge I had with my mom and it totally fixed out relationship. And I was sold.
When we finally moved back to the city, I went straight to the org and felt home! Right then, the owners of the mission were moving and wanted me to join staff… which I did. I had only done some life improvement courses and life was happy. I was the Purif I/C there. I did some more basic courses and at the sametime I was doing some book one auditing but weren’t having wins. My class sup did an interview with me and Irealized that I was clear! It was an informal interview, after all these is a third world country… I was VGI’s and we left it at that. Life kept moving, I was ‘on staff’ and doing well. I remember once I had a disagreement with the behavior of someone at the org and I talked about it with the mission’s auditor. And she told me what kept me glued to scientology for many years after that. She said to always remember that the tech works if the right tech is applied in the right way, that we all are only human and we all make mistakes, to never let that fact make me doubt about the tech. For what I had seen up to that moment, that rang pretty true and up until very recently I held that as my stable datum.
My ex-husband weren’t involved, but he liked what I shared with him. His life was very busy at that time but he participated in certain events and supported me being on staff.
One day I was called to the org for a meeting. There it was a recruiting mission from the Freewinds. When it was my turn she found my ruin pretty easily, I was having a hard time with my husband. She showed me the contract and said that everything would be solved if I joined! I didn’t buy that up and told her that I couldn’t sign without my husband, even if we were having problems. She said it was fine, and to have him come to talk to her and she will help us with ourproblems. Naïve me, I thought she was actually thinking on helping me with my problems with him, not on helping me on my problems to join!
But any way, I told my husband and we went to the org the next day I think. He met with this person in private and I was expecting him coming out all loving but when I was call in, I was presented with his contract all nicely signed and a blank contractfor me to sign! I asked about the billion years thing, and whatever was said to me I interpreted as being symbolic and that it was a regular 2 ½ or 5 year contract. Naïve much? Yes, I signed. We were promised training in the States and then work at the ship. We were asked when could we start and we said in two months, we needed the religious visas, sell/pack our apartment and say bye to friends and family. They said it was good and we left exited of the change that was coming.
Someone from the Freewinds (Leigh?) started calling daily to see our progress, I thought it was nuts but whatever. They wanted me to go immediately to CLO EUS since I already had a tourist visa and they would do the switch once here. I said no, I’ll go when I had the correct visa and in two months as I said at the beginning. I hated the pressure, but I never talked to her, all communication was through my husband. Once we got our religious visas, they starting pressuring again to go immediately. I held my ground and didn’t understand the pressure, but my husband believed them and left a week earlier. I hated him and them for that. A lot of things happened during that week with me. I arrived the next week to Newark, and he was waiting for me. We took the bus to Union Station and learned of the EPF and that we couldn’t sleep together. The not sleeping together didn’t go pretty well for me. I had an out of 2d that week that I was alone and was really looking forward to sharing the bed with my husband again. Nice welcome to the sea org…
I truly am looking forward to hearing more...when you get to that point, I'll be reading with full attention 
Sounds like they hoodwinked the 2 of you and betrayed you right away... I'm so sorry that your idealism was squashed like that! Looking forward to hearing the rest of your story...
It's OK - do it in your own time. You can work out so much, just by writing it, sharing. You may find a new understanding, or that we can help you, even if you don't understand it. 
So many have been through similar. And really, yours is traumatic too, or you'd have figured it out long ago. 
for all those still in co$/scno/so. And 
for you and husband. I have that right, don't I? You and husband still together - and both out - right?
Journey safe, and come back to us.
