07:45pm 2 Nov 94
Rang Snr HAS CLO ANZO. He wasn't there. Doug Anderson, Snr Qual Sec, answered. Asked him to have Snr HAS ring me back re what is happening about [Purple]'s Fitness Board cycle. Doug said "Nothing" and explained that he's the Chairman of the Fitness Board + nothings [sic] happening as they dont [sic] have her ethics files test results or even a comm from her about it. I said a comm was send about 12 weeks ago + he said it was news to him but maybe the Snr HAS knows about it. ([Purple] says the Cont FR has all her ETH files) I asked Doug to have the Snr HAS ring me. Doug said he had our number in his book.
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4 Nov 94
9pm
Spoke to Neville White, Snr HAS CLO ANZO.
He said he had got [Purple]'s letter and all he needed was the answer to the FB questions, no she's already done that and I probably have enough in the letter anyway.
I just need to do it. It'll probably take about 2 days It won't happen immediately.
Nev said to ring him back in 4 days and check on how he's going.
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8 Nov 94
Rang Neville.
[STRIKE]He apologized + said he'd forgotten all about it but he'd get onto it and do the paperwork.[/STRIKE]
(2) I said I'd ring him in 2 days He said... Thu, let's make it Friday.
(1) Done. With Doug.
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Fri 11 Nov 94
spoke to Mark Ellis ADL supportter [sic].
[STRIKE]spoke to Neville he apologized he hadn't pushed it.[/STRIKE]
(2) Spoke to Neville.
Doug hasn't done the paper work.
[Purple]'s FB hasn't been done yet.
Arranged for tomorrow
FB Secretary will review Nev's paperwork.
(Heard him tee up a person to be the Secretary)
Said I ring him on Sunday to see how it went.
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(1) He apologized + said he'd forgotten all about it but he'd get onto it
11am 13 Nov 94
Spoke to Neville:
Fitness board didn't occur as the person wasn't there on Saturday. It has been rescheduled for today. I should ring him again tomorrow morning.
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1019am
14 Nov 94
Neville
Write up:
Why doesn't want to be in SO in new unit of time?
How did she feel about the courses she did?
Can she apply the data from those courses?
Does she have any debts? data?
Is there anybody she knows that doesn't want her to be in the SO?
Do you feel that you are a competent SO member?
Has she ever seen a psych or psych? Data?
Do you have any medical dental or physical situation? (broken legs, ill every Sunday)
Do you have a criminal history?
02 267 2198 FAX
IJC 2 wks "a FB turndown" results
FAX COVER SHEET
TO: CLO ANZO
Attn: SNR HAS
Fax: 02 267 2198
FROM: [Name] & [Purple Rain]
Phone: [number]
Number of pages: 4
Dear Neville,
Please find attached, Purple’s write up as promised.
ML
[Name].
CJC ANZO
-----------------
[Purple Rain]
14 November 1994
Dear Sir,
I have been told by my husband, [name], that the following questions need to be answered in order for my Fitness Board to proceed:
1. Why don’t you want to be in the S.O.?
When I first joined Scientology I was very unhappy, and involved in a disastrous relationship with a psychiatric case. So I was looking for happiness and a stable relationship, and I also wanted to help (I was already trying to help improve conditions for this psychotic I was involved with). But underlying that and even more importantly, I was looking for freedom. I looked for it in my previous church, and found that I was bound by other people's rules and other people's expectations. I was a staff member at Applied Scholastics Canberra for 1 year, and then spent 4 years on staff at ACT Org, for the last year of which I was also a Sea Org member. After 5 years spent on staff I was starting to feel the same way. I couldn't go where I wanted to go or do what I wanted to do without somebody's permission. I had to do things I didn't want to do, sometimes even things I thoroughly disagreed with. There was so much counter-intention to Standard Admin and Int Management programs and orders, that getting anything done was like walking through a hurricane with lead boots. To fulfill the demands of this hat I had to dump hats on every other dynamic, and even then it wasn’t enough. I was insulated from the rest of the world, and my whole life revolved around this little grey box which was the org. I was pursuing freedom yet I felt confined and constrained. It was as though I was forcing my soul into a mould that was entirely wrong for who I am. Nowadays I spend my life in a slightly bigger little box, and I still have not found my niche in life. But I know that I am not cut out to be a Sea Org member.
Also, my husband and children were not in the Sea Org with me. Since they did not want to join I could not have been sent to a post anywhere other than ACT without leaving them behind and, after the ED left for ITO to do his OEC/FEBC training, I was miserable working in ACT Org.
Beneath all this, of course, lie the inevitable overts. Was there suppression? I not-is’d it. Was there local alter-is? I bought it. Was there dirt? I whitewashed it. Were there false reports? I upheld them. Were there no reports? I absolved them. Was there non-compliance? I accepted it. Was there counter-intention? I changed course. Was there other-intention? I envied it. Was there stupidity? I rationalised it. Was the “Why” God? I prayed. Was there invalidation? I caved in. Was there HE&R? I became an object. Was there dramatization? I hid. Was there incorrect technology? I said "Whoops!" Were there incorrect applications? I said "Why close the gate after the horse has bolted?" I had power yet I never used it. I had authority yet I apologised for being there. I had seniority yet I was (figuratively) ordered around by the janitor. I never grew teeth, I never learnt how to muster bayonets, and I never raised hell. And that's the kind of Sea Org member I was. You can't keep a ship afloat with crew like that.
And now, in the present, I am finally out of all that. I don’t want to go back there again. I know that I am, in the ways that really count, a good wife and a good mother. That is something I can build upon until somehow, someday, I find a post in life that I am good at and can win on.
2. How did you feel about the courses you did?
I really enjoyed them. By the time I had finished my EPF I was on top of the world. The day I was accepted for the Sea Org was one of the happiest days of my life. I thought, “If a group like this accepts me as a member I must be really special”. I felt like I could do anything, like I was totally invulnerable, as part of this mighty juggernaut.
3. Can you apply the data from these courses?
I do apply a lot of it in day to day life, but there are obviously parts of it that I have been unable to apply, particularly on my former post as Flag Rep of ACT Org. I actually get a lot of my stable data from the Product 0 courses, although I doubt I would get an 85% pass ¡f I sat for the exams tomorrow. Most of it has gone too long without use in the environment for which it was intended.
4. Do you have any debts? If so, data.
Yes, I do: Rent arrears Aus$957.71. Mastercard Aus$1,381.00, Mum Aus$1,500.00 Tony Filardo US$50.00, Werner Zimmer Aus$200.00, Express Data Aus$200.00, and various ITO students US$45.00.
5. Is there anybody you know that doesn't want you to be in the S.O.?
Yes. Both my parents and my husband’s parents are opposed to Scientology. Although they came to accept that there was nothing they could do about it, they desperately wanted us out of there, particularly as staff members. They are very happy now that we are no longer on staff and are effectively off the Bridge. They are, however, happy to support our personal enhancement in any other area of our lives. My sister and brother-in-law are also vehemently opposed to Scientology, and unlike my parents they never really reached that point of acceptance. My husband’s sister has still not forgiven him for going to the States without telling his parents. She does not communicate with us. My ex-husband was always fairly accepting of my right to choose my own religion. Despite being a journalist, he never prevented the children from becoming involved. However, he consistently became enraged when I neglected the children in favour of my post - something which resulted in passionately bitter scenes. Apart from this we do still care about what happens to each other and maintain an amicable relationship which includes some socialising from time to time. My two youngest children were very happy for me when I joined the Sea Org, and also wanted to join. My eldest daughter was always a bit opposed to my being on staff, both because my relationship with them changed so drastically and because the rest of our family, her best friend and her best friend’s family are so opposed to Scientology. By the time I blew all three children had had enough and were glad that I had left. Also my three best friends whom I have known for 24 years were concerned about me, and pleased and relieved when I left.
6. Do you feel that you are a competent S.O. member?
After being off post for 20 months and blown for 18, I no longer consider myself to be an S.O. member. I do consider myself to be extremely competent in the areas in which I excel, and often have valuable contributions to make to my husband's work. I am the Dreamer in this partnership, and he is the Doer, although I also work hard to make my dreams become a reality. Together we are quite a formidable combination, each compensating for a lack in the other. So I no longer beat my breast or tear my hair over what an incompetent S.O. member I was. I know that I have a lot of exchangeable qualities and, with willing teamwork, can competently execute many projects of my own devising.
7. Have you ever seen a psych or a psychologist? Any data on that.
Not really, no. I was once sent to the student counsellor by one of my lecturers at the Canberra College of Advanced Education (now the University of Canberra) for some assistance with my studies. This was back in 1983 when I was doing a Bachelor of Arts in Secretarial Studies - something I decided
was not for me after the first year. (It was another 4 - 5 years before I first became aware of Scientology). The counsellor noticed that I was very tense and wanted to hypnotise me, which I refused. He then did a relaxation session with me, which was similar to what we had regularly done in my Drama class at High School. He lent me a relaxation tape which I listened to once, but never really got into. He seemed very wise to me at the time, but I was never really comfortable with him and that was as far as it went.
8. Do you have any medical, dental or physical situation?
Nothing major. I get asthma (for which I take Ventolin and Becloforte), hayfever and occasionally eczema (on which I use a cortisone-based cream called Cortic). I have a tooth that needs root canal therapy or pulling, but the nerve is dead and it doesn't ache anymore. I am several stone overweight but have lost at least a stone through sensible eating over a period of several months.
9. Do you have a criminal history?
No. ACT Org should have a copy of my crim check from the local police which confirms this.
I hope this is what you need from me,
Sincerely,
[Purple Rain].
15 Nov 94
[2nd husband] rang me back at around 5pm and told me he'd spoken to Neville White and Neville had received the fax that we sent him. He said that Neville seemed very hassled on other cycles , but [2nd husband] got the impression that the fax just needed to be stapled together with the other paperwork and have the FB Secretary look over it again. He told [2nd husband] he could ring him tomorrow and check on the progress.
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This matches what I was told by Neville + the idea's [sic] I get from the conversation.
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8pm
16 Nov 94
Rang Neville.
It is'nt [sic] done yet. He's still compiling it. He couldn't just staple it (FAX) onto the back of his earlier submission. However it has progressed and he reckons it will be done by Saturday. By done, he said he meant through everything except uplines and I should ring him then.
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6:26pm
20 Nov 94
Spoke to Neville.
Not done yet. Needs to be compiled. Will get his compiler onto it
Ring him again tomorrow. (Was on libs yesterday)
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21 Nov 94
8:26pm
Rang Neville
Didn't get compiled
Offsider hasn't done it
Will bring some pressure to bear on the offsider tonight
Should be able to report a done to me tomorrow night.
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1035pm
22 Nov 94
Rang Neville.
He's in a meeting.
Left msg for him to ring me tonight before 12
Told It would also be a good idea for me to try again later + that the meeting would end about 11 o'clock.
Don't know who I spoke to female voice, youngish.
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11 pm
22 Nov 94
Rang Neville
The cycle is an I/P.
I asked what he meant by I/P he said it's on his junior's disk I/P. He elaborated that it has progressed and will be a done by tomorrow. I queried what he meant by done: is that typed up fully? Yes.
I asked if he was copping any flack because of this cycle. He said not really. I asked what flack he was copping he said just a little from the MAA + a few others along the lines of "Who is this chick?" and why are we doing this cycle.
I stated/reenforced that the cycle is being done because it needs to happen, it is the right thing to do and the old man said it should be done. Neville agreed that there is policy on this.
I said I'd ring him again tomorrow and pointed out that the sooner the cycle is done it should have long since been the less often people will wonder whatever is this cycle Neville is on.
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27 Nov 94
3:53pm
Spoke to Neville. He said the FB has been done locally and will go up to INT on Tuesday in the MPK.