For some time in my auditing, most of what I encountered was the extreme helplessness from slugging it out in the war of the free being
. I forever had a real aversion to getting in
too close to any civilization which had human people. I think it was a continuous losing war. I was aware that there were foes to watch out for and various traps set up. I was always hyper vigilant and knew my hiding places out in deep space.. Even though I was without body I was afraid that if captured, my mind would be changed around and mauled so I would never experience myself as the same me that I was before.
What's funny is that at one time I actually thought of my self as the patron saint or protector of this medieval village out there. The townspeople then started setting up flimsy wooden structures and water towers and poles which would collapse whenever I rolled in. I was grief stricken as I really wanted to help but all this stuff was rigged to fall over so I felt my presence was harmful. I was so dejected.. I went away with my tail dragging never to return. In hindsight it was all a setup to get me to just go away. Even without a body I have human feelings and mine were hurt.
I have lately had this phobia though that we are being changed from within, through our chromosomes, and this is done through constant meetings up of sperm with eggs. When my mother was pregnant back in 1955, I had a real war on my hands. I had come in too close and was being knocked unconscious. I fought this with all my might and lost. It seemed there is some field around Ihe Earth which globs onto beings and won't let them pass through if they are carrying any mass at all.
I think at some time in the distant past I must've been given training for a war here. It was a Zen type of training regarding spotting what your attention was doing....so as not to be encapsulated in a 'mind'. I brought this skill into the Earth zone along with others into what was anything BUT a Buddhic environment. Adepts were made so as to have some safeguards. I can't right off recall any between lives implants but I have seen automated contraptions (physical) as well as some machines made of astral matter out there which are set up to re-
form you. And I know there is like an electronic burning net standing wave around the planet. In passing through I do not remember consciously picking up anything like Helatrobus or being contaminated with Clearing Course GPMs, though no doubt I picked up
something.
I have recalled body deaths in the past where I returned to some state of ability and immediately wreaked havoc on the person who did me in. I remember once, probably not here, where I was identifying with a young 14 yr old farm girl. She was raped and left in the corner of the barn on the hay to die. I literally turned into a vicious tornado with saw blades and electrical hooks. I ripped through the culprit and left him as carian in a 100 shreds; his various pieces dangling from the overhead power lines
much the same way our plains Indians would hang, dry and salt their meat. In the few incidents where I took immediated revenge after becoming a victim of an unanticipated 'end of cycle' I don't remember being summoned or implanted. I DO know that there is a gradual dissolving of the mind structure and a fading away sensation if you don't plug back in at times.
Two years ago I ran into someone who's job it was to be an administrative law judge in the afterlife .....or had chaired a seat in the council of whomevers. These characters feel they have the 'right' to come and get you upon body death. They are big goons with dark astral bodies who can pick you up by your spiritual arm pits and haul you off unwillingly. I never thought that I would see someone capable of this kind of violation of free will in incarnated form
. But then some personalities
did run the Inquisitions so that 'tortured-out-of-their-minds' souls could go to
God. They were very interested in 'hands on' manipulation of what was going to happen to you when you were separated from the body. I have a lot of anger at these types. They have crimes against the spirit...are wrapped up in finding evil....warped on the subject of sex and repression and are insane. How could they not be insane after ages of slaughtering men and electronically or hypnotically corralling the freshly deceased in order to administer PUNISHMENTS.
I have heard that some folks through auditing or in reverie, contact groups of people calling to them from a place or a pit where they are being HELD seemingly forever against their will. They are pleading for rescue and for your help as their wills are not strong enough to rise above those who have them trapped. :confused2: