I posted about this idea a few years ago and still humbly offer it to COB as his exit strategy. The post was free, keep it so, and so forth, on this planet. . .
1.
"Find or Manufacture" some super-secret LRH advices that nobody has seen before. They should be on the subject of his "most important hats" that he needs to be carried forward in his absence. Such as the "Finder of Lost Technology" or "Keeper of Standard Tech" or "Build a Better Bridge" hat. Essentially, some glorious sacred mission that COB can point to as his "new post" because he has succeeded with such astonishing stats in expanding Scientology "on this planet". In other words, he turns over the senior management hat (which he never admits he is wearing because that causes severe DevT like the Mosey Rathbun lawsuit). Once these LRH advice(s) is announced, COB can name the party that is "running" the church while he "moves up the line" per Ron's scripture.
2.
COB then lays out the future for dumbfounded parishioners (who are slack jawed at the announcement that Miscavige will be moving off to an ultra-senior post--and wondering "
…but then who will suppress, terrorize & bankrupt us?!!"). In his speech entitled "Our Glorious Future", COB explains all of the beyond-your-wildest-dreams that are going to happen in the next 5 years, which would include opiate-dreams of Scientology establishing its own sovereign country so that Clears and OTs and "The Tech" always have a safe haven if homo sap decides to blow up this mud ball. Naturally, such announcements will be presented as fait accompli with such flair that parishioners will have no problem at the end of the event putting down a security deposit on their "TIME SHARE" condos that will be built on Scientology Island.
3.
Oh yeah, the most important part--RECRUITING THE SAINT-LIKE FIGUREHEAD that will replace COB as the "face of Scientology". Whereas the above two (2) program steps are 50% parody and 50% real advice, this one is 100% factual advice. What Scientology lacks is a Saint-like, irresistibly
lovable and
loving person--and someone that people can
trust! Like whom? Glad you asked, we can talk about that, but first you have to remember that the person we are going to "cast" in this "role" will not really be the leader of Scientology any more than a movie star writes/directs the movie they are acting in. This is where Scientology needs to develop better skills than it has shown in the past to operate a marionette without the audience seeing the strings. Okay, on to the fun part--who should Scientology cast in the part of the SOS (nope, not the Science of Survival---the Saint of Scientology). The person must have these qualities:
* As loved/trusted as Tom Hanks, who routinely ends up #1 on the list of the "Most Trusted" people in America.
* The voice of Morgan Freeman, richly resonant, refined & reassuring.
* The integrity of Jimmy Stewart (see movie "It's a Wonderful Cult")
* The selflessness of Mother Theresa.
* The unbridled happiness of Tom Cruise (before he became a KSW Scientologist)
* The simplicity of the Dalai Lama
* The forbearance of Gahndi.
* The pithy wisdom of Confucius, with micro-quotes for every occasion.
Now, the last time Scientology had someone that even approached any of the above attributes, it was Clear #1, John McMaster. He was well-loved and loving, speaking beautifully about the spiritual heights achievable through Scientology. Alas, less than 3 years after he attained spiritual perfection and was declared Clear, Ron also declared him to be an SP--which is probably not ideal for showing the world what happens after you go "Clear". LOL.
Scientology probably should outsource the casting on the Saint of Scientology because they are not very good at it. The last time they tried to cast someone it was for the part of Tom Cruise's wife. That didn't end well.
In any case, after COB has found his figurehead, he can shed the encumbrance of his COB status and dump all civil/criminal liability on other people, much like the loving Ron did for his beloved wife Mary Sue Hubbard.
I hope nobody reading this gets the idea that Scientology is not loving and genuinely spiritual, that would be a terrible mistake and we might have to send head cam people out to your house to re-brief you! LOL.