Sometimes, when I do not mean to, it is surprising to me how I can insult someone by something I write.
It's as if I've developed a kind of Internet Asperger's over the years and I just have no idea what effect will be created, or what someone else will see or feel from what I have written.
I am really sorry to have stirred up all this. I did not mean to. And I really did not want to.
So just rat-a-tat, I'm going to try to explain myself one last time.
I know that I get stuck together with Zinj in peoples' minds but I am not stuck together with him.
What I meant when *I* said "ESMB is done" was this:
Message boards are the easiest and cheapest way for any OSA type entity (Church and Indy and all other forms) to launch projects against critics of Scientology. Often times they do not even have to pay for the computers or internet connections that their people use. At that time, I realized that message boards of all kinds - not just ESMB - were extremely vulnerable to this type of OSA based project.
Just as Tory wrote last week, all they have to do is to slime someone and just keep sliming. Just keep up the sliming and get others in on the sliming, and pretty soon a food fight erupts and keeps going and keeps going and it becomes so unpleasant for anyone to post there that people just quit, or become so angry they do something that gets them banned, or whatever.
It's like a Chimpanzee bar fight. If you've ever seen
Animal Planet's "Escape to Chimp Eden" then you know what I'm talking about. Everyone is fighting everyone. It is pandemonium.
And people get damaged and hurt and friendships and alliances and loyalties are destroyed. And yes, the whole reason these types of OSA projects work is because people are frail and hurting already from being in the cult and it is easy to "push their buttons".
What I saw earlier this week was that this type of sliming CONTINUED for over a year here on ESMB. When I read the Zinj/OSA posts that were taken out of Panda's Guide to OSA thread, my whole understanding of ESMB completely changed. I got very angry that this kept going with NO RESOLUTION AT ALL. No one ever stepped up. No one ever said "I'm sorry. I've been doing this on purpose"
And no one ever will because there is very strict policy on never allowing covert ops to be exposed, and anyone doing this believes that it is the greatest good for the greatest number of dynamics, and there is a huge cost to the person personally for standing up and doing the humane thing. And anyone who would work for OSA for any length of time is going to be having a "humanity problem" already.
And because SCIENTOLOGY IS CRUEL AND IT FUCKING SUCKS.
I saw that this continued fighting with no resolution was extremely damaging to so many people who are just trying to make sense of what happened to them in that fucking cult. And I saw ESMB as the victim (yes I used that word because victims exist and I AM NOT USING IT the way that Scientology uses it to "blame the victim".) I saw ESMB as the victim and I saw that it was NOT RIGHT for me to do anything other than come in here and be supportive.
I saw very clearly that my own past was TOTALLY IRRELEVANT.
And I said that.
So my view of ESMB has completely changed in the last week.
Completely.
And I saw that the primary vehicle used to damage ESMB is to slime other posters by writing posts that contain no other content than an insult or a direct attack on another poster.
That is the primary mechanism which has been, and still can be used, to damage ESMB.
Tory is right. This is how it is done.
So I decided that I would no longer engage in any cruelty of any kind ever again on ESMB. And I already HAVE been reporting every post I see that is nothing but an insult to another poster.
I will continue to do that, while also not engaging in anything like that myself.
I understand that what I have written above is seen by many different viewpoints in many different ways. I've tried to be clear in what I have written. If I have not been clear, please understand that if you have become insulted by anything I've written, I did not mean to insult you.
Really. I swear to God.
Alanzo