It took a tremendous amount of courage, humility and progress for Tom to write this following:
I can only encourage him to continue on in his therapy, to discuss with his doctor any need to go back on Zoloft if and when the anxiety of things gets to be too much for him. I can urge him to join support groups for those who suffer from the personality disorders he has accepted as his diagnosis' and is working. He is working on these on so that he has a better understanding to be able to control his life without being overwhelmed by emotions and reactions of his own and of those towards him that he's been struggling to deal with all these years.
To Tom: Keep up the good efforts and don't read or listen to statements that push your buttons and hurt your feelings. They only derail you from progress. As I mentioned previously, ignoring these is the best solution.
Here are some links to support groups that may be of help:
BPDWORLD -- Forum
http://www.mentalhealth-world.org.uk/forums/
BPDWORLD -- Support and Information from professionals as volunteers
http://www.bpdworld.org/
Yahoo GroupSupport Group for those Dx'ed with BPD
https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/borderline/info
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Now, onto attempting to educate the know-it-all-family members who keep doing and saying the same things over and over again, to and toward Tom, and expecting real results that fix their problem with him.
When are you going to realize that you are clueless on what his mental health problems are for him, how they effect you and your responses effect him, and what you are doing to exacerbate them?
When you have the solution to a problem, it is no longer a problem, right? The problem ceases to exist when solved. So all attempts thus far to solve this problem with Tom have failed. Can you all just agree that so far, it's been a big fail on understanding enough to be able to continue to love and have some control and patience with the problems?
Nothing in Scientology can provide understanding of the isues and diagnosis' Tom has. Nothing in the tech can fix them. No medicine can fix it either ( save for helping reduce his anxiety so that he can put into play the solutions he is learning and will continue to learn as he deals with them.)
Virginia and Mike really need to get a grip, grow up and get educated on their son's pervasive mental health problems if there is to be any hope for this family and hope for Tom's well being as a member of the family. LisaM would be wise to educate her self more, as I noticed she posted a comment that reflected more knowledge on therapy than her mother did in her post.
Below are some links to information and support for families with a loved one diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder with underlying Narcissism Disorder.
It is not easy to have a loved one with these problems, the sometimes resultant anxiety and anger but everyday there are family members getting better at working on understanding and learning to observe symptoms and triggers, and putting into play various skills learned when these things happen and cause upset in the family.
It required everyone to be on the same page, willing to learn, willing to not let emotions and reactions take control of the family. If you care, if you really want him to get better, if you really want things to change for the better as a family, if you really want to try and repair the situation and prevent serious consequences, get yourselves educated. Remove all assumptions and supposed facts and start fresh because personality disorders, and the families that are effected by them, can only be helped by behavior modification on everyone's part.
Get support from others who are going through a similar situation in their family and eventually get family counseling by a therapist trained in these specific disorders.
If you don't do these things than nothing will get better and things will only get worse for everyone but especially so for Tom. Here are the family links:
Borderline Personality Disorder Symptoms
By Psych Central Staff
http://psychcentral.com/disorders/borderline-personality-disorder-symptoms/
Narcissistic Personality Disorder Symptoms
By Psych Central Staff
http://psychcentral.com/disorders/narcissistic-personality-disorder-symptoms/
"Lexapro is used to treat anxiety in adults and major depressive disorder in adults and adolescents who are at least 12 years old."
http://www.rxlist.com/lexapro-side-effects-drug-center.htm
Does Someone You Love Have Borderline or Narcissistic Disorder?
http://www.bpdcentral.com/blog/?Does-Someone-You-Love-Have-Borderline-or-Narcissistic-Disorder-1
Why BPD relationships are so complicated
http://www.bpdcentral.com/borderline-disorder/bpd-relationships/
Stop Walking on Eggshells
When someone in your life has borderline or narcissistic personality disorder
by Randi Kreger
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...tle-kid-inside-the-adult-borderlinenarcissist
BPDFamily.com / Facing the Facts
http://www.bpdfamily.com/
http://outofthefog.net/
Out of the FOG contains:
Introductions to Personality Disorders
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
Introduction
http://outofthefog.net/Disorders/BPD.html
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
Introduction
http://outofthefog.net/Disorders/NPD.html