Ex Scientologist Message Board
I recently undertook a kind of pilgrimage. This followed a Tuscan chunk of the medieval 'Via Franciagena' - the French Pilgrim's way -. I was seeking, I suppose, to find a kind of peace and forgiveness to myself, from myself for all the damage I had done to myself through my twenty two year engagement with that awful Hubbardian cult.
I am painfully aware that I dropped any real sense of self care, love and spiritual nurturing at the door the moment I embarked up that catastrophic voyage. I am aware that I violently suppressed the true voice and expression of who I am and denied innate sense that acted as a guide and protector to a troubled and callow youth.
But the joy of liberation is alive within me now, the thirst to engage in that which is enriching, for those people and those places that I love, to listen to that still, calm inner voice and allow it expression in this world.
I found a cathartic peace as I knelt in Santo Spirito at around six am with the monks chanting behind the alter. I prayed to me, not to any god, but accepted the meditative and beautiful place of prayer that my Catholic forbearers built, and designed for such penitent moments as this.
I found a peace, I found forgiveness and I found a new well of a tolerant and accepting love for those of all faiths, even those foolish enough to partake in Scientology. They all seek peace and reconciliation, but some are very blind. I cannot force them to see, they must learn how, just I and many of my dear friends have.
I am painfully aware that I dropped any real sense of self care, love and spiritual nurturing at the door the moment I embarked up that catastrophic voyage. I am aware that I violently suppressed the true voice and expression of who I am and denied innate sense that acted as a guide and protector to a troubled and callow youth.
But the joy of liberation is alive within me now, the thirst to engage in that which is enriching, for those people and those places that I love, to listen to that still, calm inner voice and allow it expression in this world.
I found a cathartic peace as I knelt in Santo Spirito at around six am with the monks chanting behind the alter. I prayed to me, not to any god, but accepted the meditative and beautiful place of prayer that my Catholic forbearers built, and designed for such penitent moments as this.
I found a peace, I found forgiveness and I found a new well of a tolerant and accepting love for those of all faiths, even those foolish enough to partake in Scientology. They all seek peace and reconciliation, but some are very blind. I cannot force them to see, they must learn how, just I and many of my dear friends have.