A small part of my story

Alanzo

Bardo Tulpa
Me too. I WISH WISH I had done that. I love it.

"You're not auditing me? Good, fuck off then!"""

I LOVE IT!

Believe it or not, one of the best things I ever did in Scientology was an "I'm not auditing you", customized sec check, run FPRD style. I'm sure that it was designed to brainwash me as a staff member. But instead it made me quit apologizing for myself, and I came to confront and accept who I really was more than I ever had in my whole life.

It also woke me up enough to start seeing the betrayal of my own self-interests that Scientology had become for me.

Within 2 years, I was gone.

I know that you have probably had many more HCO-Style Sec checks than I have, Mick. I think they were developed intentionally by LRH to coerce and brainwash people. But, being mission staff, I had only two in my Scientology career, and I took them as they was promoted to me. At that time, I didn't know enough to take it any other way. And so I went ahead and gave myself the wins that I was supposed to have.

So ha ha, fuckers!
 
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Bea Kiddo

Crusader
Oh man!!!!!!!!!!! That reminds me of something I TOTALLY FORGOT in my story. Holy crap!!!!!

When my CSW to graduate the RPF was up for approval, along with my twins, it came down with a reject because there were no KRs written, and no KR handlings done on what we had run.

MY ENTIRE auditing was NOT "not auditing you". They were sessions. Then because of that reject, they wrote KRs on everything and I had to do all these stupid handlings on crap that was already handled. It became a paper pushing admin excersize.

I remember getting so pissed about that. Another point of introspection for me.... aw man!!!!

(Sorry about thread diversion...)
 

Alanzo

Bardo Tulpa
Believe it or not, one of the best things I ever did in Scientology was an "I'm not auditing you", customized sec check, run FPRD style. I'm sure that it was designed to brainwash me as a staff member. But instead it made me quit apologizing for myself, and I came to confront and accept who I really was more than I ever had in my whole life.

It also woke me up enough to start seeing the betrayal of my own self-interests that Scientology had become for me.

Within 2 years, I was gone.

I know that you have probably had many more HCO-Style Sec checks than I have, Mick. I think they were developed intentionally by LRH to coerce and brainwash people. But, being mission staff, I had only two in my Scientology career, and I took them as they was promoted to me. At that time, I didn't know enough to take it any other way. And so I went ahead and gave myself the wins that I was supposed to have.

So ha ha, fuckers!

I really wish I could re-write this.

I now see that I wrote ..."I had only two in my Scientology career, and I took them as they was promoted to me."

What? Am I from Kentucky????

And that " So ha ha, fuckers!" is meant for the Church and LRH, not anyone here.

And anyway, this is Mick's thread.

I'm a thread diverter!!
 

Tanstaafl

Crusader
I really wish I could re-write this.

I now see that I wrote ..."I had only two in my Scientology career, and I took them as they was promoted to me."

What? Am I from Kentucky????

And that " So ha ha, fuckers!" is meant for the Church and LRH, not anyone here.

And anyway, this is Mick's thread.

I'm a thread diverter!!

Self-quoting - the height of narcissism! :D
 

Mick Wenlock

Admin Emeritus (retired)
I really wish I could re-write this.

I now see that I wrote ..."I had only two in my Scientology career, and I took them as they was promoted to me."

What? Am I from Kentucky????

And that " So ha ha, fuckers!" is meant for the Church and LRH, not anyone here.

And anyway, this is Mick's thread.

I'm a thread diverter!!


Made perfect sense to me anyway!

But I wanted to take a moment - the reaction to the "I'm not auditing you" was not something I had thought about before it happened, it was just an immediate reaction.

I think, in a small way, it was a watershed moment for me in my Scientology travels. I wasn't trying to make a point to anyone, I was just not going to waste my time on something I didn't want.:grouch:

Later, on the RPF, I did the entire FPRD "not auditing you" and it did not bother me in the least.
 

Bea Kiddo

Crusader
Later, on the RPF, I did the entire FPRD "not auditing you" and it did not bother me in the least.

I didnt mind the ones where they told me in the begining.

But Mick, you didnt mind getting four long laps for that wholetrack overt pulled when you pranked your best friend by ordering 20,000 rolls of toilet paper COD to be delivered to his business? (I had to do those laps! And it DIDN'T stop me from wanting to pull that kind of prank again neither!)
 

Mick Wenlock

Admin Emeritus (retired)
I didnt mind the ones where they told me in the begining.

But Mick, you didnt mind getting four long laps for that wholetrack overt pulled when you pranked your best friend by ordering 20,000 rolls of toilet paper COD to be delivered to his business? (I had to do those laps! And it DIDN'T stop me from wanting to pull that kind of prank again neither!)

whaaat???? They had you doing laps for something from a sec check? How dumb is that?

Christ almighty if I had to do laps for every overt I would still be running now.
 

The Oracle

Gold Meritorious Patron
Late in 1982 I was declared by the Finance Police.
I walked up to the front door of the Nordland and Clara was there. With two children in tow. She opened the door, ushered Chris out, put two suitcases on the ground and handed me Sean (who had to be carried then, he was not yet walking). And then closed the door.

Holding Sean in one arm, holding Chris' hand with the other and three large bags, nowhere to go, very little money and it was cold and dark.

More later.

Interesting that the first thing DM used his power for was to create a police department in the Church. I lost a lot of friends at this time, gained a lot too since people thrown out on the street ended up at my apartment as I paid no heed to the Church's "justice" rituals. Two missions in my city folded.

From all of this over time I knew very well there were people in the Sea Org capable of anything when I did join. I made sure I had credit cards out to the wall and an income. I actually had to finance myself in the Sea Org, pay to work there as I bought all of my own things, food, clothes, etc. It irked me that when I left after six years they handed me on a bill on top of everything else, (freeloader debt) but I paid it.

For the most part I found the people in the Sea Org were handicapped when it came to common decency or caring about others. It was a frightening experience to exist in that ghetto for six years. The brutality and injustice was harsh and below human standards. I had to see it with my own eyes and experience it for myself.

I was really able to leave it behind and I think it was very important for me to experience it for the OT levels to be real to me at all. I have to admit one thing though, when I got out I had a whole new appreciation for civilization and society as it stands. I am grateful for just about everything floating around in all the vast freedom.

And I am most grateful that I never rolled into the madness I saw there, I have a new appreciation for myself too.

And I am especially grateful for a few of the people that I know are still there, behind walls and seperated from the rest of society. :dieslaughing:
 

Lulu Belle

Moonbat
[I have to admit one thing though, when I got out I had a whole new appreciation for civilization and society as it stands. I am grateful for just about everything floating around in all the vast freedom.


Me too.

I definitely have the "every day is a gift" viewpoint.

My husband is a wog and he just can't understand it.

Why just getting out of work at 5:00 and having a beer while sitting on my deck makes me so happy.
 
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