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Featured A small piece of the story-me as an OOT

Discussion in 'Stories From Inside Scientology' started by Sky, Jan 11, 2007.

  1. Sky

    Sky Patron with Honors

    In all my lurking in the past few months, I don't think I have ever run across anyone talking about their experience as an Outer Org Trainee.

    For those not familiar with this training program, what happens is a Class V Org decides to (or is forced to) send one of their staff members to train at Flag or a Continental Training Org. They get through their training program and return to their Class V org as "Flag-Trained!!" Generally it is to train for some kind of technical post, i.e.: auditor, case supervisor, course supervisor; although sometimes they send people for other training as well.

    I went to Flag as an Outer Org Trainee and it was probably the first truly awful experience I had as a Scientologist. At my home org it was very friendly and all about helping yourself and others become more able, yada yada yada. We might have been delusional but we were happily delusional.

    So I got talked into going to Flag. "Wow!" everyone said, "You'll love Flag!"

    The Flag promo insisted it was the "Friendliest Place on Earth" and "Happiest Place on Earth."

    I was really excited! I hopped on a plane as soon as I was approved and took off to Clearwater. The flight my org could afford was a red-eye with quite a long layover, so I ended up arriving without having slept for over 24 hours (couldn't sleep on the plane--too excited!) and the only food in my belly was airline peanuts and OJ.

    Well, I wasn't much of a traveler and it took me awhile once I'd arrived to figure out how to get from the airport to Flag, but I finally got a shuttle and was heading to downtown Clearwater.

    The rest of the day is kind of blurry. I attribute that to the lack of food and sleep thing, as well as being really confused and lost.

    Basically I was put on a routing form and told, "go here" "go there", get on this bus and find this person and get them to sign this and then go onto another place.

    For anyone who's never been to Flag, it is actually made up of several different buildings in Clearwater. Some of the buildings are just down the street or across the street from other buildings, and some are further away. They made the OOTs (Outer Org Trainees) ride shuttles between ALL the buildings. Even if it was a one minute walk away, you were supposed to take a shuttle. I got so freaking turned around I had no idea which direction was what, I couldn't figure out why people kept telling me to catch a van to such and such a place and I'd get on the van and tell the driver where I was going and it seemed to me like he'd go around the block and drop me off in the same place I started. I was getting SO frustrated.

    And everyone acts like you're in their way or putting them out if you dare to ask them to help you figure out what you're supposed to be doing or where you're supposed to be going.

    (Later I would figure out that had to do with the pressure put on everyone to get through their training. I became one of those people myself for a little while. That's probably one of the biggest things that bothers me about being a Scientologist. I WAS one of the nasty ones for a time. I was completely unsympathetic and unreasonable and I had contempt for a lot of people. I look back at that and it makes me nauseous.)

    Anyway, I finally got some food and sleep after several hours of trying to get through this routing form. I almost decided to go home right then--I can't tell you how many times I looked back at that and wished I'd just hopped on a plane home. But no, I wanted to be Flag-Trained! So I stayed.

    I just noticed how much I've written about this. God, there's a lot to say about it. I think at this point I will focus just one particularly nasty aspect of my Flag experience.

    The absolute worst thing for me about being an OOT was WORK STUDY. It should have been called "slaves for the FC."

    One thing I probably have to clarify here. Flag in Clearwater isn't considered just one org. The two orgs I dealt with were Flag Service Org and Flag Crew (I don't know, there might be other orgs as well). Flag Service Org was the org that delivered training and processing. Flag Crew was the org that provided all the food, berthing, transportation, etc. for the staff and public and OOTs.

    When my org at home didn't bring in enough money to pay for my room and board with Flag Crew that week, I had to do Work Study. Now, I was warned about Work Study before I went to Flag, but the people who told me about it made it sound like no big deal. Just helping out occasionally to "keep my exchange in."

    Well, it turned out that to pay Flag Crew back for my room and board (which consisted of sharing an old moldy motel room with five other trainees that I didn't know, and eating my three meals a day that were prepared for 1500 of us and didn't involve much variety) I had to work for them about 35 hours a week, doing whatever grunt job that no one else in Flag Crew wanted to do. We often worked alongside the EPFers, although at the time I didn't know what the EPF was.

    In the mornings they would gather all of us together who had non-paying orgs, and tell us how awful our orgs were that they didn't care enough about us to make enough money to pay for us to get through our training. (Since we were doing Work Study about five hours a day, every day, it took a big chunk of time out of our study time. If you were an OOT doing Work Study, it took almost twice as long for you to get through your training. That's a lot of time when you're looking at training programs that are for a year or two.) They would make us take turns calling our orgs and telling them they had to be "Tone 40" about getting us off Work Study, they would make us write Knowledge Reports on our orgs for not paying it. They would read us LRH quotes to get us all riled up about it, and make us chant them.

    Now, I loved my org. I knew that they were doing their best to just keep the power and water on. At first I refused to write the reports. But after weeks of listening to how much our orgs were letting us, and therefore the planet, down; I started to kind of resent everyone back home. They didn't have to do Work Study... they didn't care that I did! They were committing a vile disservice by not making it go right to get that $120 to Flag every week!

    I can't believe I let it get to me.

    So after the 30-40 minutes of this BS, we would have to go with our masters for the day. They weren't actually called this but that's pretty much what they were. Sometimes we'd get lined up and then the staff of the Flag Crew that needed workers would come over and point to us, "I want that Work Study" (yes, they actually called us "Work Studies") or "I'm supposed to get three Work Studies today, those three will do." It was one of the most degrading experiences of my life. I felt like a slave on the block.

    You would have to do whatever work they told you to. Most of the work I did was cleaning; cleaning the outsides of the motels, cleaning laundry, cleaning hotel rooms, cleaning dishes. There were other jobs and sometimes you would get in with one of the FC staff and have a nice steady place for a little bit, but then someone else would need you somewhere else and you'd get taken away to work for them. Or your org would manage to pay for you for a week and when you were back the next week someone would have taken your place.

    Boy, this has turned out to be a lot longer than I expected when I started writing. I think I will call this my "Work Study" installment of Life as an Outer Org Trainee.

    Anyway, I had read a lot of accounts of what it was like for those in the Sea Org, and I just wanted to contribute a different angle on being part of it without being part of it.

  2. Emma

    Emma Con te partirò Administrator

    Sky this is fascinating!

    I missed out on going to Flag as an OOT and I was devistated!

    I heard snippets of how horrible it was from my friend who was sent over for he GAT evolution, but only snippets and only when her guard was down. For the most there was this "stiff upperlip" attitude or a "What happened at Flag stays at Flag" attitude. I knew even back then that they were controlling our thinking when you couldn't even complain about being treated appallingly, and everyone agreed with that rule!

    I'd love to know more about this subject. It hardly ever gets discussed.

    I'm excited!!
  3. jodie

    jodie Patron with Honors


    Thanks very much for sharing this story. Very interesting indeed, and I think the same experiences occurred no matter what continent one is on.

    In our case, it was when the whole KTL LOC push came through, and all orgs HAD to have KTL supervisors. Two staff at our org were selected to go to Flag, and we all envied them to go to the Mecca of Scientology.

    When they returned, they looked tired and stressed, and were also mostly quite tight-lipped about the experience. One was a good friend of mine, and I cornered [the person] eventually - and all they could say was that it was WILD. Having to sleep in mass-packed dormitries, having to find own money to pay for basics, and a non-stop pace to squeeze out the maximum training in the minimum amount of time, so as not to waste any costs on mere staff members. :eek:

    The person eventually admitted that it was not what [the person] was expecting at all. Which was as close as it could get to that person admitting they were rattled by the experience.

    Even at that time, when I was still in and winning, I was immensely bothered by that account. Flag was supposed to be the Holy Grail of perfection - I had pictured upstat efficiency, upstat setting, and very uptone staff, speed of particle flow in a good way. The image of mass-packed dormitries, and having to scramble for money for basic needs did not fit with my idea of upstat at ALL.

    Interesting similarity too - because our org was also always getting hammered by "uplines" for not being upstat enough, not having enough money. The telephone lines were cut a few times for non-payment of bills, for example. I remember quite a few staff in the org, whenever something came from up-lines that was even more demanding at usual - they would roll their eyes. One time, we were given an instruction to kludge central files, when it had been done the week before - stupid things like that. In our org, there was definitely a sense of us taking Hubbard's tech and creating something great, but a general sense that "up-lines" was a little insane. The general feeling was that up-lines were far enough away, so they would be put up with, but they could be a royal pain in the a** sometimes.

    When the instruction came down for us to have to clap and cheer LRH's picture after each muster, we all just laughed. None of us could help ourselves. But we did it. We had to. However, none of us could look at each other while doing it, or we would burst out laughing, and have to put all of ourselves into ethics!

    - jodie
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2007
    Koot likes this.
  4. Emma

    Emma Con te partirò Administrator

    This made me laugh :)

    I don't know if you were in when the "Road to Freedom" record came out.

    At each muster we had to put that awful record on, all stand around in a circle and sing "Get on the road to us free all mankind...."

    Uuggh! What an experience. It was all we could do not to fall around laughing. We had to be careful not to make eye contact with anyone lest you get in big trouble :p

    This went on for weeks. Initially it was funny, but then it became engramic!

    If you want to hear this clap trap it is here:
  5. Sky

    Sky Patron with Honors

    That was exactly how it was at my org--we were trying to get things handled that really needed to be handled, work out a battle plan to get things rolling in a good direction, and then some ridiculous order or program would come from management and it would actually stop us from being productive. Most of the time we just kind of perfunctorily (is that a word?) did the thing so we could get back to what we were doing.

    One thing that hastened my departure from the church was that management decided to start getting their hands a little dirtier and would send missions to our org all the time. By the time one had left another would show up. I hated it. Their presence at the org just caused a constant tension in the atmosphere, I was always on edge just waiting to get pounced on for not doing something properly or whatever. It's a lot harder to ignore up-lines orders when they're coming from someone standing in front of you. Combined with my own burgeoning doubts about the validity of the tech and problems I was having applying it, I just couldn't take being there anymore.

    Emma wrote:
    "I don't know if you were in when the "Road to Freedom" record came out.

    At each muster we had to put that awful record on, all stand around in a circle and sing "Get on the road to us free all mankind...."

    Uuggh! What an experience. It was all we could do not to fall around laughing. We had to be careful not to make eye contact with anyone lest you get in big trouble

    This went on for weeks. Initially it was funny, but then it became engramic!"

    I think I just missed that one. I probably would have been in big trouble. I've always been the one on the edge of being called a Joker and Degrader. I usually was able to supress it but sometimes things got to be too much.

    I'll always remember when I first saw "Orientation". When it got to the end and the guy was talking about how if you didn't do Scientology you might as well jump off a bridge or blow your brains out, I cracked up. I couldn't stop laughing. It was about the most ridiculous thing I think I'd ever heard. I didn't think he could possibly be serious. When the Reg came into the film room I was still laughing. I got a weird look for that one.:D
  6. chuckbeatty

    chuckbeatty Patron with Honors

    Dear Sky,

    Please go on with your story. I would love to hear the rest of your time as an Outer Org Trainee, go into details for weeks. Take your time, spell it all out. Give more details of your seniors in FC, how many cooks, how many maids, how many this's and that's.

    I fully grasp your Outer Org Trainee predicaments at Flag. I was there from Dec 75 till Jun 83, and witnessed how the LRH orders to put outer org trainees on work study even came about in the first place.

    It really is a sick system, and with trainees indoctrinated and clamoring to be little DMs as the winning valence, it is a wonder Flag staff aren't even more stressed at the dicotomies of having to pretend to be the "Friendliest Place in the World" at the same time outer org staff are doing maid and cleaning duties for the got-bucks FCCIs.

    I was a course supervisor during the 1981 FEBC evolution, when the Int Training Org was still at Flag, and the 1981 FEBC evolution (20 students per dorm, they had to get in and out of their bunks in a specific order, shower in specific order, etc.) it was called a "this lifetime engram" by eval later.

    The hardships and predicaments within authoritarian setups where "friendliness" is ordered, it turns things into a pretense show.

    There was more heart and more sympathy I think the earlier and closer one goes back in time, over the years, but still the same false front pretense and gritted teeth ordering people around without any care for them as human beings, the authoritarianism unfortunately goes back to LRH.

    "We'd rather have you dead than incapable!"

    "Fit that into the economics ...and you see the cross we have to bear."

    LRH was all pragmatism, he was so over the top sure of his (Scientology's) worth that if it meant he had to steamroll anyone in the way of him getting the Planet cleared, then that was simply what it was going to take.

    It all comes back to LRH, all of it.

    He's a human being, packed with the normal faults and failings, and his own religion, where he got away with making the rules that now no one else can change, so the continuing mess is really his fault, since otherwise internally the movement could rid itself of the idiocies it perpetuates.

    Chuck Beatty
    ex Scientologist/Sea Org member (1975-2003)
  7. Kookaburra

    Kookaburra Gold Meritorious Patron

    Hi Chuck
    From what I can see, LRH had his ruthless side, the winning valence that DM took on, and his paranoid side, the winning valence that OSA took on.

    But really the worst blunder in the legacy he left would have to be the idea of dissaffection and the whole rollback thing, and the gruesome punishments for correctly spotting an outpoint on someone/something who wasn't supposed to have any.

    I see this as the most fundamental reason that CofS has become the monster it has, and why it it doomed to failure. It cannot correct itself. It cannot even examine it's own faults, or the consequences of it's actions, thus has no conscience.

    It's not because someone can't change the rules. They have changed policy and tech left right and centre. It is that they can't say anything when something is wrong.

    Sky, your OOT story interests me very much. I was also an OOT but much earlier than you (1977/78) and things were heaps different then. I will let you finish your story, then I'll tell you mine and we can compare notes.

    And yes, Chuck, I know you. I spent months in the FBEC.
  8. Sky

    Sky Patron with Honors

    There were times doing work study where I really felt abused. Like when we would have to clean the outside of the motels (windows, doors, A/C units, etc.) in the July heat with no water or breaks for five hours. There would be one person, I think it was the CO of the motel, who would give us the cleaning supplies and tell us what to do and then just disappear somewhere. There were usually two or three of us doing this job, and if we didn’t get the whole building done when the CO came back, they would tell us how disappointed they were and that we would have to work harder next time.

    Or if you were in the galley peeling 50 pounds of onions or chopping 200 pounds of chicken or cooking a thousand hamburgers. Never had more cuts, burns and blisters in my life. Although I have to say, the cooks in the galley (there were five of them) were some pretty amazing people. They put up with crap that would have made me run screaming. Can you imagine being in charge of cooking three meals a day for 1500 people? And pretty much any job they gave us to do, was something they would do themselves. A lot of the time we would work alongside each other getting the massive amounts of food prepared.

    It was really difficult to be on Work Study and on some course where you needed a twin. If your twin didn’t have work study, they would get ahead of you and then have to catch you up when you got there. I found that only the most loyal people would stay your twin if you had work study and they didn’t. I remember reading the bulletin on twinning and how you had to have a twin and how a twin was responsible to get their twin through, but I practically never saw people keep the same twins through an entire course at Flag. It was like they were in too much of a hurry to get people through to pay attention to policy. It was for the greatest good, right? And it was practically impossible to get through auditing when on work study. Sessionability was a big problem for most of us.

    You know, one thing I didn’t mention was that Outer Org Trainees would also come from the Sea Org orgs. It wasn’t only Class V org staff. Generally the SO OOTs had their room and board paid for by their orgs every week. Occasionally there’d be some problem with FP and some of them would have to do work study for a day or two until their org got the money to FC. I’ve never heard such protesting from SO members as when they had to do work study.

    In fact, another one of my pet peeves was the way there was a kind of a caste system for everyone who was there. And we Class V org staff were at the bottom of the totem pole. (The only ones lower than us were the EPFers.)

    When I first arrived it was during what they called an Evolution. What would happen is someone in upper management would have a great cognition. “We just realized that if every org had a Flag-trained (fill in the blank) the orgs would all boom and the planet would be cleared in a jiffy!” So then the orders would come for every org to send one or more people to Flag to get this great training. It’s not too easy to get someone who is “qualified” for the OOT program, therefore, most of the time it would take awhile to recruit someone to go or replace someone else who was already on staff and get that staff member qualified. So you’d send what people you could scrounge up and get them the training, and just as the last of the OOTs for that evolution were finishing up, there would be another “realization” about what post needed to be filled by a Flag-trained staff member. And a new evolution would start.

    When I got there it was a big scramble to get all the new arrivals routed in and found places to stay and everything. So they just put you where they could fit you. The Class V and SO OOTs were all mixed in together. It was pretty interesting for me to get to know some SO members. But then after they got most everyone routed in and settled down, they segregated us. Put the Class V org staff in rooms together and SO members in rooms together. And we started finding out there were rules about the pecking order. If you were getting onto the bus or shuttle, you had to let an SO OOT get on first. When we were in line for dinner, the SO OOTs got in front of us. On course, it seemed like an unspoken rule to some of the Supes that if there was an SO OOT that needed help (word clearing, checkout on a drill, etc.) and a Class V OOT that needed help, the SO OOT would get help first. Not all the Supes were that way but there were a few that were. Definitely if you were talking about an OOT that was from CMO or a management org, they were the priority.

    This bugged me big time. Sometimes I wondered if they did it to try and get the Class V org members to join the SO. When I was there they had a rule that you weren’t supposed to overtly recruit someone who was on staff at a Class V org. If the person originated that they wanted to join the SO, then… have at them.

    SO OOTs also seemed to get priority in HCO, Ethics. God, I could go on for days about being stuck in Ethics at Flag. It was like a black hole. Everyone was afraid of going to Ethics because you would never get out.

    Once I was in to do an O/W write up. I had originated that I wanted to go home (basically I was just homesick) and so they had me do the write-up, since if I wanted to leave I must have overts.

    I was on that stupid thing for weeks. Each time I got to a good point and was ready for a meter check, it would be one or two days of waiting in HCO before I could get someone to give me the check. By that time I was usually kind of irritated at having to wait for so long, and guess what—no floating needle! “Go write more.” It got to the point where I was doing nothing but Work Study and wracking my brain for what O/Ws I had committed that I wasn’t writing up. It got to the point where I would commit some overt (like skipping exercise time) just so I’d have something to write down. After getting yelled at by the MAA, I refused to write more. I said I was done and I wouldn’t write another thing down. I finally got handled in Qual on it and was relieved as hell. But after that I made sure not to do anything that might get me sent to Ethics. I couldn’t believe how inefficient they were there. I mean, it was Flag for God’s sake! You would think this alone would give me a clue about the fact that there were problems in the church and I needed to get out. But no, I decided that it must be that I wasn’t dedicated enough to be willing to experience anything. Although I’ll tell you one thing, it got me to the point where I was never tempted to join the SO!:eek:
  9. Sky

    Sky Patron with Honors

    Oh, and I would love to hear your stories Kookaburra and Chuck. I always wondered about how the Work Study program got started.

    I remember asking for a reference on it from one of the people in charge of the work study program, but they always put me off. I finally asked the Qual Librarian and was directed to some telex that was from Ron that basically said to have the OOTs work for Flag part-time if their org couldn't pay for them. I tried to talk to the work study people about it, but they were very put off by my apparent unwillingness to keep my exchange in. When I told them I felt like they were out exchange with me, they were flabbergasted. It was useless trying to reason with them.
  10. Nom de Plume

    Nom de Plume New Member

    OMG! I had "forgotten" all about this...

    I haven't thought about this in years! I was an OOT, too. What memories!

    Emma said: "What happens at Flag stays at Flag". LOL

    Great posts everyone!

    Nom de Plume
  11. chuckbeatty

    chuckbeatty Patron with Honors

    Hi Sky,

    I was a new Sea Org member, joined 12 Dec 1975, and arrived at the Fort Harrison to join the Flag Service Org (FSO) as an FSO TTC trainee, on 19 Dec 1975.

    I was on the FSO TTC from then until about Jun of 1977, and in Jun 1977 I became an admin courses sup at Flag from 77 till 83, with one year I was demoted to word clearer.

    The OOT work study started I think in 1976, 77 or 78. And at the time I am sure (like with most everything) LRH had no idea of all the ramifications of his order in that telex/despatch that you read.

    First off LRH was slightly contradicting himself. He'd already ordered that trainees coming to Flag were billed for their service, and their orgs paid Flag back for their training. There was NO work study from students expected to be given to to the FSO, so the immediate question that should have been raised is WHY is LRH saying trainees do work study to FC!

    It is stupid, it's a stupid mistake on LRH's part.

    LRH's order that FC ought to put the people to work, is a response to FC's income problems. I believe the old old CO FC in despatch weekly traffic to LRH commented to LRH about how FC was providing all the meals and berthing by not getting any money in return.

    LRH stupidly said put them to work.

    LRH's shoot from the hip unevaluated order then has caused a problem ever since.

    What LRH should have done is send the CO FC's despatch down to one of the Commodore's Staff Aides and asked for a solution per existing policy.

    But no, LRH likes to micro-manage, and he created a new problem, and solved an immediate, supposedly, personnel shortage need in FC and try to pressure orgs to pay their FC bills, to help FC's income needs.

    LRH SHOULD have more smartly said consistently with his earlier policy, that FC should bill and collect from the orgs just like the FSO bills and collects from the orgs.

    So the work study problem is LRH's bad decision stupid order to put the trainees on work study.

    This is LRH's fault. One could blame the FC people whining to LRH, that LRH solved their problem with this order, but it only has added stress and bitterness and today the dull bureaucractic system of work study they've settled on.

    Back in 1977-1983 period I was a training course sup at Flag, there were numerous times when CO's of the Int Training Org, or the FBEC arranged deals with Flag Crew so as NOT to have the trainees on work study, and there were years, months, off and on battles between the training org's seniors who wanted to just get their students completed and back home, so sometimes in the years I was at Flag, the ITO (Int Training Org) seniors stuck up for the work study students.

    Also the Programs Chief for the Class 5 trainees also used to beat on FC to lighten up and let their trainees get DONE with their training!

    This is classic LRH forgetfulness and incompetence as a decider, when everyone today tries to make EVERY LRH decision RIGHT in context, this is truly a typical example of a bad LRH decision that should have simply been answered to CO FC with the order that CO FC follow exisitng policy to bill the orgs for their rent at Flag, just like the FSO bills the orgs for the training the students receive. And the students also sign papers saying they will pay back their training fees if they blow staff.

    Same for students getting free rent at FC, the students should sign similar papers saying they will pay back FC for their rent, if the blow their org contracts when they return to their orgs after their Flag training is complete.

    Simple. LRH caused this bitterness inducing counterproductive rule and it's typical of countless other counterproductive rules he injected into the bureaucracies which movement staffers juggle and suffer the predicaments of.

    Hey Sky, who was your "terminal" to complain to, while you were at Flag training.

    In my days, the Flag Bu, now the FLO, was at the FLB, so if the Programs Chief of a Class 5 org trainee cared at all, the trainee at least met their Programs Chief, and the Programs Chief sometimes stuck up for the trainee.

    Do Flag trainees have ANYONE who sticks up for them that they can complain to legitimately?

    In my days, the FLB was full of Sea Org personalities, each trying to rise up the pecking order, and willing to stick their necks out more and do what they thought was right, and find a way through the predicaments that LRH's orders always seemed to cause.

    I think CMO sided with FC, and this work study battle trickled up to WDC and it was resolved between WDC FSO and WDC Scn and WDC SO and whoever, at CMO Int level, and it was resolved that work study was valid.

    Your description of how the Flag outer/org and public MAAs deal with their particles, it just has evolved into impersonal dull procedures.

    This is truly just a process of watching how Hubbard's rules cause people to act out these bizarre predicaments on each other.

    Back in 1975-1983, we didn't have the rigamarole about "F/Ning" meter checks, since there was no non-audited metering and no legitimate "non-F/N" situations allowed.

    A non-F/N was considered a red tag in my days at Flag, and would have meant some auditor would me auditing the trainee who was not F/Ning, especially after writing up O/Ws!

    The rules slipped in, that one went to write up more OWs.

    Back in my day, that would have gotten you a session, first time you non F/Ned.

    That turn of events allowing people to be "BIs" after OW meter checks, how that is officially allowed to be condoned, is a major goof on whoever's parts this falls on.

    No one should be going on weeks being told to write up more OWs, that is another example of dull bureaucracy rules prevailing over the admin scale purpose of "helping" people rise UP!

    Needs some new rule to bust MAAs when ANY of their Ethics particles are found going more than 1 week not F/Ning after a complete OW writeup.

    You see the type of things that have developed. Rules to slap around staff who are just trying to do what they think Hubbard said for them to do.

    In my days, the trainees had their Programs Chiefs and at least execs in the training org to sympathize with them, if trainees were BIs, the Programs Chief would raise some hell with FSO or FC, and the FSO Qual, and either get the traineee Fitness Boarded back to their orgs, or the trainee helped.

    But again, this is just FC, FSO, and FB execs juggling problems that shouldn't even exist!

    There should be no after OW writeup meter checks, there shouldn't even be OW writeups, honestly.

    There shouldn't be work study.

    These are stupid rules, they should all just be appropriately nullified so as not to cause trainees problems.

    And the funnything this is incompetence in the ranks underneath LRH at the time, and more importantly, these are LRH goofs.

    In my days I think behind the scenes there was more "noise" being made by FSO and Programs Chiefs versus the FC people trying to enforce the stupid LRH mistake order that no one in top management were of sufficient presence to question and get LRH to cancel. If I in hindsight, were Treasury Aide, I'd have written a CSW to LRH saying that FC is to treat traineess like the FSO treats trainees, which is NO work study program, but FC bills and collects from orgs just like FSO does. Period. But the Aides and management at the top weren't thinking like that. There wasn't a internal top management trend of Commodore's Staff Aides willing to question LRH's orders and contravene them with reference to earlier LRH policy, since Hubbard had knocked back hard on people not complying with his orders, and the mindset in top management unfortunately had not developed to question and correct LRH's goofs like these above!

    In my days, there were more people who failed frankly, and were sent home. In fact, of the original 90-100 TTCers of the FSO that I was amongst, within 2 short years, only 12-15 remained, the rest failed, and these were Flag Service Org staff TTCers.

    That also was probably why the work study wasn't a situation, longterm, since people on work study also were sort of the less valued staff.

    Sounds like today more qualified people in general are sent for training, there is more a higher caliber of people, and the dull bureaucratic pains of work study are enforced even long range, on trainees who did NOT expect to be sent to Flag to become maids, cook assts, and cleaners.

    I noticed that rank and file Sea Org members are unbelievably NOT up to asking or questioning the rules as valid.

    In my days, the people at Flag argued back and forth about LRH's orders, and would have at least tried to sympathize with the outer org trainees complaining about the things you mention.

    Today, I sense Flag staff have more of a robotic application of the drummed in routines and they think that gains them a niche in the system and safety.

    Things were much more spotty, less qualified trainees, more openness to work out ways around what were perceived as LRH orders that could be questioned based on higher admin scaled purposes or policies, in my days.

    The training evolutions were in my opinion effective, since MORE people got trained during evolutions, even though these impersonal bureaucratic setups evolved to deal with the flow of the particles.

    It is a tradeoff.

    The tradeoff of an impersonal bureaucracy is unfortunately what's now evolved in the Scientology movement's echelons.

    I saw the same in the RPF at PAC, although on the RPF, there is more leeway to actually be kind to one's fellow Sea Org member, ironically. But the same sort of overload (fake overload due to so many goddamn requirements per so many LRH references that the MAAs and the execs all try to juggle and comply with simultaneously) that the net result is the dull slow moving molases pace bureaucracy that's now evolved on public service lines at Flag.

    Meter checks are such a harmful conditioning experience in my opinion.

    One's not really suppressive if one thinks that one is suppressive.

    As-issing one's overts is a relief and one can finally "F/N." Not "F/Ning" means one is troubled by something, and it better not be "natter" since that means more "overts."

    It is a mental vicious circle, and believe me, every person goes through this and figures their way out of it, one way or the other.

    So one has to do as you said, manufacture and pretend to be troubled by certain types of blatant known "overts" so one has something to "run" or "writeup", so that one can squeeze out an "F/N" so one can goddamn get on through the jungle of bureaucratic crap so one finally gets somewhere up the line on the golden "Bridge to Total Freedom" in keeping with one's original goals.

    And what really becomes a problem, is after years (or shorter) of this, you develope a sluggish needle, then god help you. You are in trouble.

    In 1975-76, one of the things that Internes on the auditor interneship used to chat about, when trading around their pcs to one another, trying to hoard a good pc that would get them through the interneship, was what was the "needle" like of the pc.

    High TA pc and sluggish needle, and that pc wasn't a wanted pc by the internes.

    I respected the trainees who would take on the high TA dirty needle or sluggish needle pcs, since that is what the goddamn movement was supposed to be about.

    Flag used to be about cracking cases, taking in the worst pcs (either messed up by outer orgs and missions or simple naturally sluggish needle dirty needly high TA cases) from the field, and fixing them up with good standard Flag auditor impeccable TRs assesssments, the C/S 53 and Green Form 40XXX, and crack the person's goddamn case.)

    I respected Lieke Halders (whatever her last name is now), Sheryl Licciardi, Ron Norton, and the "Case Cracking" auditors at Flag who DID really tame some of those pcs who came to Flag to get their cases cracked, supposedly.

    There is a huge huge aura of confidence exuded by those auditors who do confront and crack the high TA sluggish needle, dirty needle cases. Those that did this case after case, after case, or so the myth goes, that's what Flag used to be all about.

    And then those in good shape did the upper Flag rundowns, the Ls, where one is supposedly gonna go exterior with visio, and that's it, period.

    All the bureuacracy crap that leads up to making case cracking top notch auditors, I mean, when I was a Flag, really, all one had to do was just do that LRH saying about rekindle the failed purpose and the stops blow at once.

    It takes some people with heart to run the Scientology movement, and I bet there are some still in it.

    I respected then and now those who did put their hearts into it.

    I think now it is the heart people put into Scientology is what I respect, it is just their normal innate good humane character than I respected about those in the movement.

    The rules have won, and LRH's idiotic goofs are just causing the major and minor problems that Scientologists perpetrate on one another, trying to outthink the inappropriate rules and try to employ some LRH rule that lets the pc or student "win."

    I am appalled now, when I step back and realize how many stupid stupid administrative little rules and technical data one is juggling while trying to "keep the lines flowing" and keeping people moving through their training and up the Grade Chart on the training side of things.

    I think the pluspoint is the people. People being generally good people, that is the best thing about all the artificial and stupid rules connected to the Scientology movement.

    Their problems at Flag are letting their bureaucractic rules dominate and stamp out people's innate goodness.

    I gotta say the people who played their roles, did the jumping to LRH's tunes, I respect them all.

    The "tone level" of the MAAs responsible to make the decisions of letting someone who's landed in ethics be complete with their ethics handling and return to course or processing at Flag, and how those MAAs withstand and defend their decisions to their seniors and to RTC locals or CMO locals or to the LRH Comm or the FLB execs, it is up to that MAA to hold their ground.

    That is why I said on another forum, that what counts and defends one admist this juggling of seniors and trying to do something useful to the "ethics particle people" is the following and being sure of oneself and an expert on Hubbard's writings/orders/despatches/policies and being around Hubbard and outthink even Hubbard in coming up with some Hubbard tune to whistle at the right time, so that everyone comes out happy.

    THAT bullpen, that years of understanding and juggling ALL of Hubbard's output about things, and somehow NOT buckling and going downtone while one is on the job at Flag trying to "help" people, I respect those who did this juggled all the LRH idiocies, and still treated their fellow Scientologist decently.

    In a nutshell Hubbard created a "malign authoritarian" system. Only the nicest smartest people make anything good of it.

    In 1977 or 78, out of about 35 -50 students in the admin course room, only about 5-7 were on work study.

    In my year as Admin Courses sup at Flag, I'd never had more than 5-7 students on work study, and sometimes less.
  12. Sky

    Sky Patron with Honors


    Thanks for all the great background info. It was always difficult for me to understand the mindset of all those who seemed to be stuck in illogical actions. These same people who were in charge of work study would also go through our rooms looking for anything that had fragrance, to throw it out. To them this meant anything that had a smell to it. I had shampoo and soap which had natural oils in them which had scents to them, but which didn't contain the ingredient "fragrance" or "perfume." I tried to refer them to the "Fragrance" reference and explain why natural oils with scents should be no problem, but it was like talking to a brick wall. If they could smell it, it had to go. Little things like this just completely pissed me off.

    We had several supposed "terminals" as outer org trainees: the Senior Intern Supervisor (scary woman) the D/FCCI PO for OOTs aka Deputy Captain and the LRH Host Coachman (seemingly nice lady when you spoke with her, but when it came down to it she would stab you in the back. Sometimes you would have to deal with her assistant or deputy or whatever and she was even worse. Sixteen-year-old CMO people who think they know everything should never be given the authority that girl was given IMO.) The Deputy Captain was the one who we would usually deal with, but there were several times when I got him to approve my CSW and then the routing form would be stopped by the LRH Host. It was like they had a system set up to be able to avoid conflict. If I was bothering the Deputy Captain too much about something, he could approve it or tell me it was fine, and then the LRH Host would disapprove it and I couldn't give her a hard time about it since she was pretty difficult to corner. She could get very mean too when she wanted to be. CMO people usually scared the hell out of me. They just seemed to completely lack compassion and be the most arrogant, condescending people I'd ever met. I think I only ever met two CMO staff who didn't act that way. There was one of the MAAs who actually helped me through a sticky situation and who bypassed the proper R/F and went over everyone's head to help me sort it out to my satisfaction. I was thrilled since I'd been trying to handle it through the "proper channels" for almost a month. A couple of weeks later I saw the same MAA put on the RPF. I don't know if it had anything to do with my situation, but it always bugged me that helping me might have been what did it.

    I have so many screwy things that happened while I was at Flag but I know if I give specifics then it will be easy for people who I don't want to know who I am to figure out my identity.

    I can agree with you about all the things that went screwy, and if things had been done differently maybe it would have been a great experience to train at Flag. But I'm at a point now that although I can admit that there were valuable things I experienced and learned while in the church, the thought of formally using any Scientology tech puts a bad taste in my mouth. I know that there are lots of people that continue to use the tech outside of the church, but I don't ever see myself as being one of them. I do respect their decision though.

    That's cool that there used to be those who would try to keep students off of work study. I don't think I would even have minded doing it so much, if I felt like it was fair and dignified. But I felt taken advantage of and abused, and no one who was in charge would ever acknowledge that I could possibly validly feel that way.

  13. Sky

    Sky Patron with Honors

    One of the other things that happened, more recently...

    The post I ended up getting meant that I had a big responsibility to get new trainees to Flag for whatever the next evolution was. I was never able to convince anyone to go. Our trainees always ended up being recruited by someone else. It was like being stuck between a rock and a hard place. If I got someone to go to Flag, I felt like I'd be committing an overt because I really didn't think well of the OOT program and didn't want to be responsible for someone else going through what I went through, but if I didn't get anyone to go I was committing an overt because I wasn't doing my job and I was keeping the org from expanding. I actually had several situations on staff where it was: screwed if you do, screwed if you don't.

    I even got into session just to try to handle my charge on Flag (they wanted me to go back for another evolution at one point), but after that I still felt the same way about the place. There's no way in hell I would have ever gone back. And no way I could bring myself to talk someone else into going. I mean, I could PR my way through it when someone just casually asked how it was to train at Flag (since, as Emma so succintly stated, what happens at Flag stays at Flag), but convincing someone to go was beyond my capabilities as a con artist.
  14. Sky

    Sky Patron with Honors

    So, more about the Outer Org Trainee program...

    One thing I have to say, I did have some great Supervisors there. Some of them were the most caring, dedicated, intelligent people. If not for that I probably would have blown after the first month. (Although something funny... at one point while I was there, the Supervisor who was in charge of the courseroom where the Student Hat Course was done, didn't speak English.)

    Some other little things...

    Events while we were at Flag were horrible. We would have to end course early (while being told that we'd have to make up for the lost stats) and all go to wherever the event was being held.

    We would have all been drilled to sell some new release, and given some outrageous quota. After the event we would be directed to go sell, sell, sell, and would have CMO OOTs watching us to make sure that we were trying to sell, sell, sell. We would be forced to call friends and family at home to try to talk them into buying whatever. They would always tell us we wouldn't be allowed to leave to go back to our rooms until we met the quota, which we never did.

    So we'd end up staying at the Fort Harrison or wherever until about midnight, wandering around in the nasty humidity, pretending to try to sell these things to non-existent public (since all the public would realize that they had to duck and run if they didn't want to be swarmed by desparate OOTs.) Finally, we'd be allowed to go.

    When an event was held on a Friday, they would often take away our Saturday morning time (that was the only time off we'd have to do laundry, clean our rooms, go shopping, etc.) and start course early. If the event had been on a Saturday, well everyone would just be really tired on course the next day. Which ticked me off since I always thought that us being well-rested on course should be more important to them than selling some lecture, but it wasn't.

    I was always confused at their priorities. I remember reading someone's post on OCMB about a time when they had to eat in the CB, the Clearwater Building where all the Flag staff and OOTs ate, and they were disgusted by the way everyone was lacking in manners and eating like pigs. Well, what would happen is we were always having musters. Before dinner was the worst one. We were supposed to have a twenty minute muster and then half an hour for meals. But more often than not the MAA or Deputy Captain would get to ranting about something and by the time they were done we had 10-20 minutes left to go get food, eat, and be back in the courseroom across the street. You lose your manners a little when you are under that kind of pressure.

    It probably took me a couple of months, once I got back from Flag, to stop inhaling my food. People would stare at me because I would finish a whole meal in maybe five minutes. Finally I forced myself to slow down, I would have to keep telling myself that I had time to eat.

    Everything at Flag was hurry, run! We were told that we weren't to walk, we had to run! (Excepting of course, when we were going out on the streets. Didn't want someone like Shawn Lonsdale recording our mad dashing everywhere.)

    Another scary thing was ISO (pronounced eye-sew) which was short for ISOLATION. It was the place everyone went when they got sick. I never went, but I had friends who were in there several times and the stories I heard made me sure I never wanted to be there. They had two rooms, one for each gender, and matresses on the floor, lots of sick people, and old cold food. Once you went there you had to stay until you got better. There was nothing to do all day, they didn't allow books or anything. I knew if I went it would drive me completely nuts.

    Getting out of ISO was difficult, you had to get approval from the MLO and then go through the whole ethics PTS handling thing. Which took forever in itself. There were a couple of times when I had a cold, and hid it so I didn't have to go. If I'd been caught I probably would have been charged with a suppressive act, since you were supposed to report to the MLO as soon as you thought you might be sick. But I would just tell everyone that I had allergies. I know there were a couple of people who didn't believe me, but they couldn't prove I was sick and there was no way I was going to be stuck in that place if I could help it. Not to mention, it meant I would be stuck at Flag for a few more weeks, which I certainly didn't want.:eek:

    Wow, it feels great to be able to write about this stuff. I of course couldn't talk about it to most people. Anytime I would talk about it with any of my Scientologist friends their attitude would be, "You must have lots of overts on Flag..." Well, let me tell you, I had a huge Sec Check, tons of auditing, and I STILL HATE FLAG!! It is an awful place. No matter how anyone tries to justify it, it is horrible. Inhumane. Insane.

    Anyone out there who has a friend or relative who is going to be going there to do training, please warn them that it is not a friendly or happy place. Tell them to ask others who have been there about work study, ethics, events, ISO, etc. They might not be able to get any info out of anyone, but who knows? Once they get there you'll never have another chance. You most likely won't be able to call them, and any letters you write will be monitored by the Flag Ethics personnel.

    So I think those are my main hang-ups with Flag. It's sure nice to be able to get it out of my system.


    OHTEEATE Silver Meritorious Patron


    Sky, SOUL MATE! I trained and worked alongside OOTs for two years, from 2003 to 2005, and when on the EPF for the Sea Org, worked with some in the FC Galley and other places. I am really tall and you might have seen me if you were there during that period. I trained up to Class IV at Flag and was in the Coachman building way too much. I saw what the OOT guys went through. No money, no time, hurry up and eat, in a smoke filled dining hall, crap berthing, rah rah, aren't you HAPPY? Events, up till 1 AM selling crap to long gone public. It was like building pyramids. Just shoot me. I tell you, I swore never again would I place myself in a position to be treated that way.
    I was the ONLY public person on the Flag Class IV Interneship! I kid you not. There were at least 100 OOTs on it with me, I was the only public Scientologist. They made it so tough to get PCs, I wound up transferring to Tampa to do it, then into the SO, back for extensive Flag retrain up through Pro TRs, Upper Indoc, Acad levels, 0,1, etc. because I did not do the full levels there, just the certainty courses. What horse manure. By the time it was time to re-do level 2, my wife and I had had enough. TTC was like OOT, only we had close order drilling, too, in the Pro TRs room. Right face, left face, that's right we're soldiers, uh huh. Same food , except we didn't have to work in the galley, so OOT was actually tougher than Sea Org. I feel a special bond with you. Been there, shipmate. Done that. Mike Henderson OT 8
    Last edited: Mar 30, 2007
  16. Zinjifar

    Zinjifar Silver Meritorious Sponsor

    I can't tell you how much I, and, I'm sure dozens, if not hundreds of others appreciate your story and the other stories being told by the posters here.

    While I am no fan of 'acks', I think you (all) should know that.

    Something that's almost incomprehensible for a 'never-been' is the *surprise* that Ex or even 'still' Scientologists have for the level of injustice and arbitrary maliciousness, along with the day-to-day lack of compassion in the 'Organization'. Maybe because of the esprit de corp of the 'lower orgs' and the persistence of *happy* memories, the feeling seems be that 'what was *wrong*' was some kind of aberration.

    At the same time, I'm often amazed at how many Scientologists; even *Sea Org* Scientologists have read Orwell's '1984' without even stubbing a toe on the parallels. Bizarre :)

    But, hasn't anyone ever read 'Lord of the Flies'?

    Scientology is the way it is because it was *designed* to be the way it is.

    'Bernie' the Belgian was an amusing 'op' to talk to, back when he was still talking, and, one of the most interesting (and, I believe, heartfelt) things he ever said to me was that (paraphrased) 'I stopped being a Scientologist when I realized that I did not want to live ina 'world' run like an Org'.

    Yes indeedy. The stories being told are *important* stories, because they *are* a 'real world' demonstration of the 'Clear Planet' that's presented as a 'Utopia'.

    Congratulations on escaping Paradise :)


    OHTEEATE Silver Meritorious Patron

    sky OOT story, and another thought

    If you like to read stories that make your eyes pop out of your head when you see similarities and parallels to the design of Scientology and the Sea Org, may I recommend "Mao, the Untold Story" by Jung Chang and Jon Halliday, now out in paperback at any bookstore.
    The head guy had little use for family, juniors, and sharing the spotlight with anyone. Me Me Me. Hip hip hooray. MH
  18. everfree

    everfree Patron Meritorious

    I posted a similar story about being a class V trainee at PAC stuggling with many of the same issues such as work study in this thread:

    but I was also an OOT at Flag at one point. In retrospect, though my time at PAC was very miserable in many ways, I had far more freedom than I did at Flag, and the pressure wasn't nearly as high.

    A huge difference though was that at Flag I wasn't forced to do work study because I was part of a big evolution that needed to be done now now now so uplines decided to forego work study in order to get us through our lineup quickly.

    I thought the food was of much higher quality than at PAC; it's hard to beat that fresh florida orange juice! And whereas at PAC my berthing that I worked 30+ hours/wk for had bare concrete walls with seven three tier bunkbeds with a separate bathroom shared by it must have been 100 people, my berthing at Flag was an apartment with about 7 beds in it and our own bathroom. Later I was moved into a hotel room that was freshly purchased and renovated that was shared with only two or three other people.

    By relative standards it was paradise.

    The program itself was not, however. Pressure, pressure, pressure. We got to the point where we were studying 8:30am to nearly midnight every day, with no breaks outside 20 minutes for lunch and 20 minutes for dinner.

    At one point the air-conditioner broke down in the courseroom we were in. It was already 90F outside, and with hundreds of OOTs packed shoulder to shoulder the room quickly reached sauna temperatures. But there weren't any other empty classrooms, so rather than let us off course or put us in the coachmen atrium or something they handed out electrolyte tablets and water.

    One of my friends had a very hard time dealing with the heat. She was near tears, and whispered to me "It's suppressive to make us study in these conditions!" Of course, it appeared to be RTC reps who made the decision to keep us there, so I was shocked that anyone might even imply that RTC could act suppressively in any manner.

    "What exactly are you saying?!" I whispered back to her. She just shook her head. Later I realized she was quite right; it was needless near-torture, and I don't think the "students" got anything beneficial from their studies under the circumstances. I think it was like that for two days.

    One good thing I got out of the Flag OOT program was to meet very many nice staff members from all over the world. Kind helpful people are often attracted to CofS.

    One very nice middle-aged woman was having trouble getting through her final TR passes. One day the D/Captain for OOTs came in and saw her still on TRs and started laying into her. The woman caved in completely, slumping in her chair sobbing as the D/Captain went on and on ranting above her, face turning purple, trembling.

    As a supervisor myself, I knew that allowing anyone to interrupt students on course was a highcrime, so I was shocked again that someone so senior would do so, and treat someone who was oviously a nice person so harshly.

    I thought about saying something to stop it as it went on and on and the woman was already obviously overwhelmed completely, but a little voice in my head told me that if I said something I would find myself swiftly routed off the base and sent home in disgrace, and after going through so much already I didn't want that. So I gritted my teeth and didn't say anything.

    The D/Captain had a long history of leaving even veteran SO members quivering wrecks. A friend of mine used to make a point of auditing the people she had left behind her.

    I often think of that woman and wonder what happened with her. I don't think I ever saw her again. She had a nice "secondary" from that, that's for sure.

    The D/Captain wasn't the only screamer at FLB though. I've written enough for now so I won't go into more detail at the moment, but I can categorily deny that Flag is the "friendliest place on the planet".

    OHTEEATE Silver Meritorious Patron

    Flag training

    Everfree, I did Pro TRs and Upper Indoc TRs shortly before leaving in July 2005, so have many hours in that room where that happened. Here is something I noticed about Scientology now, as compared to in 1971 when I got onto my first course. It has gotten much more openly nasty. I mean, did you see the "new" all-black RTC uniforms? When you see 3 or 4 of them walking down a sidewalk, there is no mistaking the effect they intend. We're BAAAAD, we're galaxy wide!( gestapo, SS, seig heil!) If a Hitler Youth member was telling his fond memories of wins he had of his younger days, he would tell you how much he looked up to the SS as a role model. Strict, dedicated, disciplined. Black uniforms. Never smile. and later, when it was all over, and all the millions had been murdered, you say, how could it have happened? How could they not see it coming? If Scientology breaks through, there WILL be a division of the org board of RTC which handles those they consider enemies. I'm saying, hoold up, not so fast,got a couple questions for you first. Pick up the cans... Mike
  20. everfree

    everfree Patron Meritorious

    I tell ya, that was my first experience working directly with RTC, and it really opened my eyes.

    I had thought of them as my friends because they kept the tech pure (I was sooo naive at times that thinking back it makes me cringe sometimes). I had trouble on course, which was very very rare for me because I was always an excellent, fast student, who could apply what I studied. Yet the supervisor just had me do the same stupid thing over and over and over again without getting anywhere.

    As a supervisor myself I knew that there were tools that should be used to resolve it, so I had asked the supervisor to use them. He told me that I was just Q&Aing and to get back to it. He never even spent any time watching me drill or gave any advice or used any "supervisor tools".

    After several days of this, it was starting to get painful - actually physically painful. I started dreading going to course for the first time in my life.

    Finally I saw an RTC staffer walk by. "I'm saved," I thought to myself, "RTC is my friend, they really care about the tech, they won't let such shoddy supervision to go unhandled!"

    So I got up and told her that I needed help from my supervisor so I could pass my drill because I was starting to dread going to course anymore, and they got right on it, corrected the supervisor, and got me through my drill quickly with flying colors.

    Just kidding, what really happened is that of everything I said, the only thing the RTC rep heard was the part about dreading course so they sent me immediately to Ethics with an escort on each side, because obviously if I didn't want to be on course it was only because I had out-ethics and was "blowing".

    I told Ethics what was going on and they tried to get me back to course, but I was refused until I was "handled". I was extremely upset, so I don't remember exactly how they finagled it, but they got me back on course. As I arrived in the courseroom the RTC rep who'd sent me down came rushing up to me and surprised me completely by screaming in my face "Don't you ever spread your black PR anymore!" thus ensuring I would have nightmares if I ever contemplated not wanting to be on course.

    I didn't even know what she was talking about. Black PR? I was confused. I only pieced together later that she meant saying my supervision was poor was considered black PR.

    Man, I felt put through the wringer, but I was lucky that I was assigned a different supervisor who actually supervised, and he was quickly able to spot what was going wrong, get it handled, and get me through the drill.

    So that is how I learned that RTC is not there to be my friend or help people, they are basically police and their job is to get people.

    Some are worse than others. It seemed to me that those who had been highly-trained auditors retained more of the ability to help rather than police. I even ran across an RTC rep who was kind. She was the only one.

    I had been up very late the night before to get a final pass on a drill, which as I recall I did, but I'd only had maybe six hours of sleep which really wasn't enough to be "studentable". But on course on another drill the next day I yawned, which was spotted by another RTC rep who came over and asked me if I had an MU.

    Based on my previous experience with RTC, I inwardly cringed. I knew I was going to get sent to ethics again for not being sessionable or be screamed at. Much to my surprise, when I told her I'd been up late on course, instead of she looked at me and with a great deal of "ARC" gently told me "Good on getting through your drill, but you have to make sure you get enough sleep from now on, OK? Now look for an MU and get back to course".

    I was grateful. All in a flash I empathically "got" her. She didn't much like the screaming and the ordeals staff are put through as part of RTC, she joined the SO because she wanted to *help* people. OK, I don't know that for sure, but that's how it struck me at the time, as real as anything I've experienced in my life, and I still fully believe it to be true. I thanked her and returned to course. I felt better that such a person was high up in RTC to offset those who weren't that way.

    A couple of weeks later I saw two other RTC reps including the one who had SRAed me angrily drag her into a cramming room and then the screaming started and hadn't let up by the time I left the area. After that she wasn't on post and I never saw her again.

    To me it meant the good guys had lost and the vicious were the winners.
    Last edited: Mar 31, 2007
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