A trip to the Org for a personality test

I just read this on WWP and thought I share it with you


inb4 tl;dr, cool story bro, etc. Just thought I'd share a recent experience with you, and there is some relevant information that I'll bold for the benefits of the "bawwww wall of text" crowd.

So, as the thread title says, I dropped into my local org recently to do the OCA. Well, I say "dropped in", in reality I was quite slickly routed in after taking a flyer from the guy outside and pretending to show the faintest interest.

They sat me down and explained the OCA (strangely leaving out the fact that it was utter bullshit), then left me to it. For shits and giggles, I decided to pull up the "perfect" answers on my cellphone to see what would happen (Operation Clambake presents: Oxford Capacity Analysis).

After I finished, they took the sheet and I waited 10 minutes to see what would happen. When my assessor came, he took me over to a desk and gave me the usual crap about "Are you happy, do you have a job, are you in a relationship etc", before showing me Dianetics and explaining how it's "a book on the mind written by L Ron Hubbard".
Troll opportunity #1 had presented itself, so I asked "Oh, was he a psychatrist, then?" Unhappy scilon face flashed for a second before reforming itself into the fixed grin we all know and love, and he replied "Oh, no, he was a philosopher", before trying to explain to me what the difference between a psychiatrist and a philosopher was (facepalm.jpg).

He then asked me whether I'd heard of Dianetics or Scientology; I played reasonably dumb, yes wasn't Tom Cruise into that, and hadn't there been some controversy with protesting or something? He kind of moved swiftly past this though, and went on to tell me how Scientology was the "religion that came out of Dianetics". I told him I wasn't interested in someone trying to sell me a religion, and he quickly tried to reassure me that it was "more about spirituality and slef improvement than theology". Fine, whatever.

Next, out came the test results. I fear I may have over-egged my cake somewhat by trying to score 100%, as the guy told me he'd never seen a score as high as this before, and didn't try to sell me any courses. He kind of half-heartedly mentioned that "we do a lot of courses here", but didn't get specific, leading me to suspect that they'd spotted something awry.

I asked about the "Oxford Capacity Analysis" on the top of the sheet, and asked if the test originated at Oxford University in that case? The answer was a definite "yes". Interesting that they're still doing this - maybe there's an opportunity to get them under consumer regulations or trading standards if we can record this at some point. Unfortunately I couldn't record audio or video at the time without being obvious.

I tried to probe further, asking how exactly the test worked, how the "scores" were arrived at, etc., but the guy just said "oh the computer works it all out, I don't know". After this, he just said, "Well that's it", and we were done - no sales pitch, nothing, just let me take my scoresheet and walk out of the org (hence the reason I suspect that they figured I was up to something). So they probably have my images on CCTV if they care enough, but hey, fuck 'em. I just wish them luck finding all the YFTC's I left around the place. ;)

Here's my results sheet, for the record. Not bad, huh?



Patron Meritorious
If memory serves, all the points above the "D" trait are "out of valence," which means they are out of control to the person. If a "wog" scores this way they are either crazy or lying on the test. No wonder they scuttled the person out of the org without trying to pitch anything.

A real hard case DIV 6 reg would take up the lying as a "scientology can handle that" topic. We ran a metered test line (they get the results while holding the cans) where about 50% of the people cried when they got their results. You would yell out "that! that!" on items that read. I'm just sayin ... but it takes too long and requires a classed auditor or at least a meter trained weenie.
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Patron with Honors
Great story, thanks for doing this and sharing. I'm sure Oxford University would love to hear about this. Such Bullshit.

Can you please tell me what does YFTC stand for ?

Great story, thanks for doing this and sharing. I'm sure Oxford University would love to hear about this. Such Bullshit.

Can you please tell me what does YFTC stand for ?


Anons have a campaign where they place business cards inside an Scientology or Hubbard book they find in a store of library which says "You Found The Card" and it points them to this website


They also stanp paper currency they use around org locations with a ink stamp saying www.youfoundthecash.com which directs the people to that site too.


Always loved the "Personality Test" bullshit. No wonder we never routed many in to NYFD, I mean, directly across from two Broadway theaters, next door to another Broadway theater and a landmark hotel and steps away from Times Square who'd want to do that shit on vacation? lol

Thanks for the laugh.


Actually, the technical term for your test scores are "Theety Weety". This is out of the OCA manual. What it means is that you are not confronting life at all, and think everything is just great, when it isn't.

I would guess that the person that did the test had absolutely no idea what to do with this kind of a score. It gives him no direction as to what are to go in to get a ruin. So unless he is trained on how to handle it, he would just try and get rid of you as soon as he can. Someone that was experienced in doing evals would have dug in and gotten you to confront your life. He probably drilled on doing the standard reading of the low traits and selling things like Ups and Downs and Personal Values and Integrity for low B or H and I traits.

When I was on staff I did hundreds of these evals. I always felt it was the wrong thing to do. It just did not feel right. It is just a pure Evaluation. Just about every one that I did would have a Responsibility right at the bottom. Basically I had to tell them that they were totally Irresponsible, and that they blamed everything that happened to them on everyone else. That is really not a nice thing to have to tell people. Eventually I stayed away from doing evals totally.

I knew a guy that was really good at this. He would get just about every single person to sign up. I recently figured out how he did it. He just kept on going, driving the person into his/her ruin until the person signed up. There was an element of hypnosis in it. The one time the person signed up and was on the way to the course room before she realise what had happened, and came straight down and asked for her money back.

Doing OCA's should actually be banned. I know that only a psychologist is allowed to do evaluations of personality tests, so it is actually an illegal activity in South Africa. I wander if there are similar laws in other countries.