A Wingnut Does the EPF

aegerprimo

Summa Cum Laude
PART 1:

So far, I have not found a story here on ESMB that takes place in New York, probably because there are a lot more Sea Org staff at the PAC base, Flag Land Base, and Gold Base. I feel my story can contribute to the overall picture of what the EPF is like no matter where it was done.

This story is about my experience on the EPF (Estates Project Force). As any Ex-scientologist, ex-SO member can probably agree, it is where you first SEE and experience a lot of what is wrong with Scientology. But somehow you get indoctrinated with the idea that it is okay to suffer, to go without, all because you have a noble purpose of doing something great - clearing the planet.

From what I remember, the purpose of doing the EPF was to enable the new Sea Org member in-training to “confront MEST”. The idea is that if you can confront MEST (matter, energy, space, time) you can do anything. The end result is that you can make anything go right, just like an OT. Some days it was hard, and I was told “many are called and few are chosen”.

I was determined to be one of the chosen. It is my inherent nature, that when I participate in something I feel is worthwhile, I go balls-to-the-walls all the way, 100%.

I was going to be an executive in Scientology, a member of the CMO (Commodore’s Messenger Org), the elite of the Sea Org.

I was young, passionate, and optimistic. Of course I wanted world peace, wanted to help create it, and wanted to live in such a world. It was spring 1985, and I was 19 years old.

I quit my job, an excellent one, as a draftsman/designer at a civil engineering/land surveying firm. I quit college. I no longer needed to learn how to build bridges - I was going to be part of bringing the bridge of all bridges to the world, the ultimate infrastructure - The Bridge to Total Freedom.

I gave away most of my stuff, including my car. I kept my bicycle, some clothes, books, a fish tank and collection of tropical fish. I moved all my remaining belongings into a room on the 7th floor of 349 W. 48th St. New York City, which was the floor where all the CMO staff lived. It was the nicest floor with carpeting and freshly painted walls. The whole building at that time was berthing for CLO and CMO. Each floor had two common bathrooms, one for men and one for women.

My first day, I was told that I had to stay in the “guest” berthing until I finished the EPF. One of the CMO staff promised they would take care of my fish. The guest berthing area was where Class IV staff members from the EUS (east U.S.) Orgs would stay when doing training at the CLO. It was a big room on the 2nd floor at the front of the building, accommodated with a few sets of metal bunk beds. I did not bring linens, blanket, or a pillow with me, and was a bit grossed out about sleeping on dirty sheets that who knows how many people slept on? I figured it was part of the test of being able to competently “confront MEST”.

(Part 2 tomorrow)
 

La La Lou Lou

Crusader
PART 1:

So far, I have not found a story here on ESMB that takes place in New York, probably because there are a lot more Sea Org staff at the PAC base, Flag Land Base, and Gold Base. I feel my story can contribute to the overall picture of what the EPF is like no matter where it was done.

This story is about my experience on the EPF (Estates Project Force). As any Ex-scientologist, ex-SO member can probably agree, it is where you first SEE and experience a lot of what is wrong with Scientology. But somehow you get indoctrinated with the idea that it is okay to suffer, to go without, all because you have a noble purpose of doing something great - clearing the planet.

From what I remember, the purpose of doing the EPF was to enable the new Sea Org member in-training to “confront MEST”. The idea is that if you can confront MEST (matter, energy, space, time) you can do anything. The end result is that you can make anything go right, just like an OT. Some days it was hard, and I was told “many are called and few are chosen”.

I was determined to be one of the chosen. It is my inherent nature, that when I participate in something I feel is worthwhile, I go balls-to-the-walls all the way, 100%.

I was going to be an executive in Scientology, a member of the CMO (Commodore’s Messenger Org), the elite of the Sea Org.

I was young, passionate, and optimistic. Of course I wanted world peace, wanted to help create it, and wanted to live in such a world. It was spring 1985, and I was 19 years old.

I quit my job, an excellent one, as a draftsman/designer at a civil engineering/land surveying firm. I quit college. I no longer needed to learn how to build bridges - I was going to be part of bringing the bridge of all bridges to the world, the ultimate infrastructure - The Bridge to Total Freedom.

I gave away most of my stuff, including my car. I kept my bicycle, some clothes, books, a fish tank and collection of tropical fish. I moved all my remaining belongings into a room on the 7th floor of 349 W. 48th St. New York City, which was the floor where all the CMO staff lived. It was the nicest floor with carpeting and freshly painted walls. The whole building at that time was berthing for CLO and CMO. Each floor had two common bathrooms, one for men and one for women.

My first day, I was told that I had to stay in the “guest” berthing until I finished the EPF. One of the CMO staff promised they would take care of my fish. The guest berthing area was where Class IV staff members from the EUS (east U.S.) Orgs would stay when doing training at the CLO. It was a big room on the 2nd floor at the front of the building, accommodated with a few sets of metal bunk beds. I did not bring linens, blanket, or a pillow with me, and was a bit grossed out about sleeping on dirty sheets that who knows how many people slept on? I figured it was part of the test of being able to competently “confront MEST”.

(Part 2 tomorrow)

I have a bad feeling for the fish. Pets and the SO don't mix.
 

clamicide

Gold Meritorious Patron
Looking forward to more posting... Wow. My son was originally recruited into CMO (but did EPF at Flag). He came back for his one and only visit and recounted what went on, and indoctrinated as I was, I did have some major WTF going on--but he seemed fine with it and recounted the details rather blithely. I kind of figured out later that he got some major "ethics handlings" for sharing such stuff. He probably thought nothing of it, because the indoctrination was so strong and telling somebody stuff that seemed normal to him wouldn't be a big deal.

It's so easy for people outside to go WTF? and I'd NEVER do XYZ... unfortunately, it's those who would say that, that seem to be susceptible to that sort of thing. (and no, I'm not going to drag out the studies I've read on this, so everybody spare me the dox or stfu... I'm going off to Netflix some more Louis C.K. I'm in a dark mood, and that guy makes me laugh when I'm like this)
 

clamicide

Gold Meritorious Patron
I, too, am looking forward to the next installment.


Netflix sounds wonderful. No Netflix here, but I think it's available where I'm moving to.

Helena

Netflix is evil... it's an unstoppable drug. Just realized that my Kindle Fire needs recharging, so I'm hanging out here a bit more before I turn it on and get my fix. Learned the hard way, that unlike phones, you should charge your Kindle while it still has a fair amount of power--almost returned the dang thing that I got on this crazy psycho special for a refurbished one (I mean, I confessed to my son that I bought one--and felt guilty, and he said it would have been a crime NOT to buy it and was upset I didn't grab one for him, because he said he'd obviously would have paid me back...sheesh :)) Luckily, I found a fix on the web...

and just apologies to the OP. But, yes, I really am looking to hear more from you. I think that perhaps my mind wanders off to other subjects and such, because thinking of my son in the SO still, just is really that painful. I know my own story, but hearing things from others and linking them up to a son that I still love, but haven't seen in years, just gets to me.
 

cakemaker

Patron Meritorious
I have a bad feeling for the fish. Pets and the SO don't mix.

Yup!

2002x3m.jpg
 

Helena Handbasket

Gold Meritorious Patron
I once came back from the vet's with my cat. I had to be at the local Org for a quick cycle, and didn't have time to run home first. So I brought my cat upstairs and asked another pet owner -- who had brought her bird, in a cage, with her; to watch my cat for a few minutes.

There were no problems except when I came back my cat was nose-to-the-cage staring at the bird. Probably scared the poor thing half to death. :)

Helena
 

freethinker

Sponsor
I know exactly what you were thinking unfortunately. The hard reality comes next, right?
PART 1:

So far, I have not found a story here on ESMB that takes place in New York, probably because there are a lot more Sea Org staff at the PAC base, Flag Land Base, and Gold Base. I feel my story can contribute to the overall picture of what the EPF is like no matter where it was done.

This story is about my experience on the EPF (Estates Project Force). As any Ex-scientologist, ex-SO member can probably agree, it is where you first SEE and experience a lot of what is wrong with Scientology. But somehow you get indoctrinated with the idea that it is okay to suffer, to go without, all because you have a noble purpose of doing something great - clearing the planet.

From what I remember, the purpose of doing the EPF was to enable the new Sea Org member in-training to “confront MEST”. The idea is that if you can confront MEST (matter, energy, space, time) you can do anything. The end result is that you can make anything go right, just like an OT. Some days it was hard, and I was told “many are called and few are chosen”.

I was determined to be one of the chosen. It is my inherent nature, that when I participate in something I feel is worthwhile, I go balls-to-the-walls all the way, 100%.

I was going to be an executive in Scientology, a member of the CMO (Commodore’s Messenger Org), the elite of the Sea Org.

I was young, passionate, and optimistic. Of course I wanted world peace, wanted to help create it, and wanted to live in such a world. It was spring 1985, and I was 19 years old.

I quit my job, an excellent one, as a draftsman/designer at a civil engineering/land surveying firm. I quit college. I no longer needed to learn how to build bridges - I was going to be part of bringing the bridge of all bridges to the world, the ultimate infrastructure - The Bridge to Total Freedom.

I gave away most of my stuff, including my car. I kept my bicycle, some clothes, books, a fish tank and collection of tropical fish. I moved all my remaining belongings into a room on the 7th floor of 349 W. 48th St. New York City, which was the floor where all the CMO staff lived. It was the nicest floor with carpeting and freshly painted walls. The whole building at that time was berthing for CLO and CMO. Each floor had two common bathrooms, one for men and one for women.

My first day, I was told that I had to stay in the “guest” berthing until I finished the EPF. One of the CMO staff promised they would take care of my fish. The guest berthing area was where Class IV staff members from the EUS (east U.S.) Orgs would stay when doing training at the CLO. It was a big room on the 2nd floor at the front of the building, accommodated with a few sets of metal bunk beds. I did not bring linens, blanket, or a pillow with me, and was a bit grossed out about sleeping on dirty sheets that who knows how many people slept on? I figured it was part of the test of being able to competently “confront MEST”.

(Part 2 tomorrow)
 

Gib

Crusader
From what I remember, the purpose of doing the EPF was to enable the new Sea Org member in-training to “confront MEST”. The idea is that if you can confront MEST (matter, energy, space, time) you can do anything. The end result is that you can make anything go right, just like an OT. Some days it was hard, and I was told “many are called and few are chosen”.

Yah, confronting MEST. I was in the SO for a whole week.

Me, being sports minded, triple football practices in one day for a week, and having confronted MEST my whole pre life to scientology,

why the datum of confronting MEST, well, let's say it was a button for me to becoming OT as I already could handle MEST. So I figured if I could handle MEST, it's like then WOW I really could be an OT right fast in the SO.

But I observed staff conditions, and went to myself, something is not right here.

So I lasted a whole week and blew that SO scene. Although stupid me was still under the influence of having read a complete library by hubbard. Yep, I was indoctrinated, and didn't even know it at the time.

So I went back as a public. :melodramatic: :duh:
 

clamicide

Gold Meritorious Patron
Yah, confronting MEST. I was in the SO for a whole week.

Me, being sports minded, triple football practices in one day for a week, and having confronted MEST my whole pre life to scientology,

why the datum of confronting MEST, well, let's say it was a button for me to becoming OT as I already could handle MEST. So I figured if I could handle MEST, it's like then WOW I really could be an OT right fast in the SO.

But I observed staff conditions, and went to myself, something is not right here.

So I lasted a whole week and blew that SO scene. Although stupid me was still under the influence of having read a complete library by hubbard. Yep, I was indoctrinated, and didn't even know it at the time.

So I went back as a public. :melodramatic: :duh:

Nice. I think part of me did try to equate the punishment of staff with what athletes or dancers went through--having spent many years in athletics and dance, and I never could quite make the connection. Another thing I have conveniently blocked out... that's always interesting to me; that I STILL have recollections about my time in the cult that I simply just "didn't recall".
 

La La Lou Lou

Crusader
Nice. I think part of me did try to equate the punishment of staff with what athletes or dancers went through--having spent many years in athletics and dance, and I never could quite make the connection. Another thing I have conveniently blocked out... that's always interesting to me; that I STILL have recollections about my time in the cult that I simply just "didn't recall".

Clammy, check out this link and see if it has anything to do with your staff enjoyment...

http://www.panicattacks.com.au/anxdis/dissoc.html
 

clamicide

Gold Meritorious Patron
Clammy, check out this link and see if it has anything to do with your staff enjoyment...

http://www.panicattacks.com.au/anxdis/dissoc.html

oh jeepers.... dissociation was my life. I honestly, got to the point where, I'd be living on 3 hours sleep, and was so 'gone' that I think I was actually asleep at times on post, and my body just got trained to the point where it went through the motions. I'm currently dealing with a bout of lack of sleep, because I'm being woken up by the kid who lives downstairs way before I tend to get up... and I've been doing some insane stuff.

I finally realized that my body was going back into the mode it did on staff-- where it just goes on and functions, and keeps waking up, because it 'knows' how to live on no sleep... problem being, is that I have had enough therapy where I don't tend to dissociate to that degree, but I can have a panic attack or just become nutzoid, because I freaking am not sane without sleep. It's an incredibly strange state to be in.
 

La La Lou Lou

Crusader
oh jeepers.... dissociation was my life. I honestly, got to the point where, I'd be living on 3 hours sleep, and was so 'gone' that I think I was actually asleep at times on post, and my body just got trained to the point where it went through the motions. I'm currently dealing with a bout of lack of sleep, because I'm being woken up by the kid who lives downstairs way before I tend to get up... and I've been doing some insane stuff.

I finally realized that my body was going back into the mode it did on staff-- where it just goes on and functions, and keeps waking up, because it 'knows' how to live on no sleep... problem being, is that I have had enough therapy where I don't tend to dissociate to that degree, but I can have a panic attack or just become nutzoid, because I freaking am not sane without sleep. It's an incredibly strange state to be in.

It's a strange state I'm well familiar with.

Melatonin might help with the sleep pattern.
 

aegerprimo

Summa Cum Laude
PART 2:

My first EPF task was to scrub the garbage cans in the galley (staff kitchen) and mess hall (staff dining room). This was located in the basement of the New York Org building – 227 W. 46th Street. After finishing that gross initiation, my next project was to scrub down “rat alley”. This was an indoor alley where all the garbage was brought. The garbage cans were nothing on the level of repulsive as was rat alley. There was only me and two other people on the EPF at the time. We confronted that MEST together, along with confronting all the critters that lived there. We saw rats as big as house cats. Sometimes they would even hiss and bare their teeth at us. The roaches were so numerous that we got used to them landing and crawling on us without freaking out.

I wondered if the man who was running the EPF had all new recruits do this project so they would quit before time and effort was put into making them into tried and true Sea Org elite OT MEST confronters. Quitting did cross my mind a few times, and I wondered what cleaning the most repugnant rotten space in the Big Apple had to do with clearing the planet.

There was a man who was staff of New York Org who took care of the boilers in the building. He lived in the basement, and was a Quasimodo sort of man, shunned by all the other staff. He was ugly and weird, but had a good heart (I thought). While we worked on the rat alley project, he would come and tell us stories of how he caught the rats in the building. He told us about one particularly elusive rat he named Uncle, a big 20 pound creature with a white furred back. He bragged that he finally caught him by putting glue on the water pipes. He found it to be a successful way to catch and kill rats in general. “Quasimodo” asked us if we wanted to see the dead rats glued to the pipes, and I think we all declined.

I was exhausted at the end of the day - there was no time to think about falling asleep in the gross bunk bed mattress, with stinky pillow and dirty sheets. Once I was horizontal, I was gone. The guest/EPF berthing room had no lights. The only light was from the street lights outside, or daylight during the day. I could not ever fully examine the room, and so I wondered if there was an Uncle rat living in this building too… in the middle of the night did he lead an army of giant hissing rats through the guest berthing and down into the bowels of the building?

There were no bathrooms on the second floor of the berthing building, so personal hygiene was a challenge. I had one set of clothes I would do EPF work in, and one set I would study in. I had completed the Purification Rundown before starting the EPF, so I knew there was a shower next to the sauna in New York Org, and would sneak in there to shower (a couple times a week) before dinner, and change into my study clothes. Otherwise I was limited to taking daily sponge baths after the filthy EPF work.

I ignored the red flags on those first days and plowed on, determined to become an excellent Sea Org member.

(Part 3 tomorrow)
 

aegerprimo

Summa Cum Laude
Yah, confronting MEST. I was in the SO for a whole week.

Me, being sports minded, triple football practices in one day for a week, and having confronted MEST my whole pre life to scientology,

why the datum of confronting MEST, well, let's say it was a button for me to becoming OT as I already could handle MEST. So I figured if I could handle MEST, it's like then WOW I really could be an OT right fast in the SO.

But I observed staff conditions, and went to myself, something is not right here.

So I lasted a whole week and blew that SO scene. Although stupid me was still under the influence of having read a complete library by hubbard. Yep, I was indoctrinated, and didn't even know it at the time.

So I went back as a public. :melodramatic: :duh:
Smart you only stayed a week! Yes, I thought I was pretty good at confronting MEST before the SO as well. I worked for my dad throughout High School during the summers. He had a paving company, so I confronted some damn hot MEST (tar, asphalt). :hotwater: I've never been afraid of hard work. I guess the whole "able to confront MEST" line they give you when doing the EPF is to get you to agree to doing manual labor. Someone's gotta do the cleaning and the painting and the cleaning and the painting...
 

Gib

Crusader
Smart you only stayed a week! Yes, I thought I was pretty good at confronting MEST before the SO as well. I worked for my dad throughout High School during the summers. He had a paving company, so I confronted some damn hot MEST (tar, asphalt). :hotwater: I've never been afraid of hard work. I guess the whole "able to confront MEST" line they give you when doing the EPF is to get you to agree to doing manual labor. Someone's gotta do the cleaning and the painting and the cleaning and the painting...

Yes, thanks. It may have been less than a week. You know I was pretty much numb and in shock. I don't remember too much of my short stay. I don't remember the MEST I did, the meals I had, etc. I remember bunking with a bunch of others. I remember finishing the Welcome To The SO tapes or course, and then starting the next course, which I then promptly bolted. Boy was I a :nervous: wreck.

Anyways, on confronting MEST. Not sure if you know this, but the CO$ now has a package deal called The Leadership Course or something like that to be done on the Freewinds. And the public pay for this course and while on the course on the ship, why they get to "confront MEST", yep, by cleaning the ship. Too funny. :laugh:
 

aegerprimo

Summa Cum Laude
Yes, thanks. It may have been less than a week. You know I was pretty much numb and in shock. I don't remember too much of my short stay. I don't remember the MEST I did, the meals I had, etc. I remember bunking with a bunch of others. I remember finishing the Welcome To The SO tapes or course, and then starting the next course, which I then promptly bolted. Boy was I a :nervous: wreck.

Anyways, on confronting MEST. Not sure if you know this, but the CO$ now has a package deal called The Leadership Course or something like that to be done on the Freewinds. And the public pay for this course and while on the course on the ship, why they get to "confront MEST", yep, by cleaning the ship. Too funny. :laugh:
Think I saw a video (leak) of that on YouTube. Where's AnonKat with that link? I guess the brainwashing is losing its effect of me, because I cannot figure out now what confronting MEST and CLEANING have to do with each other. :biggrin:
 
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