Wisened One
Crusader
Popcorn stations everyone!.......
Alan, you promised to continue.....................
Alan's been kidnapped! (was John McMaster's partial story!)
- Thread starter Alan
- Start date
Alan
Gold Meritorious Patron
Popcorn stations everyone!.......
I hope you will forgive me for this -
As I reviewed what happened - my review was terribly flawed - as I had bought that I was wrong - the Hubbard, Mary-Sue, the SO, the SO must have been right.
The reason that I could not see the truth was - I had been created by the group/gang as an Artificial Me type of Identity.
Here is what I wrote about Artificial Me type identities.
ARTIFICIAL ME
This is the most common sequence that creates the being as something other than his true self.
An ARTIFICIAL ME is an identity that is “created as” in an acceptable or approved way of being – doing – owning and having identity in order to fit in or be part of society plus to be under the complete control of these outside sources – the majority of the ARTIFICIAL ME’s creation points are from outside sources.
Most of us have had a very long misidentifying hypnotic period of time when our spirituality, attention, thoughts, determination, mind, body, space, time, energy, things and subjects are under the complete power, domination, and control of another or others and completely dependent on another or others for our existence, survival and well being.
We all have a long period in our life starting at birth through the years of our early childhood when we are totally dependent on others for our very existence and growth including the knowledge of what life and living is all about.
Childhood is inevitably a gradual process of shaping the thoughts, beliefs, behavior, standards, principles and consciousness of the child’s identity or who he is (that in his universe is what represent his ‘me,’) and the subsequent automated adult identity, thing or object that represents his ‘me,’ in order to be ‘acceptable’ and ‘normal’, to fit the approved social norms.
It is a process of hypnotically manufacturing automated artificial ‘people pleasing,’ ‘approval seeking’ identities, things, objects that represent and are known as automated artificial ‘me’s’ instituted by forcing you into a hypnotic trance state by the use of emotional blackmail, manipulation and coercion (and in many cases the use of physical force and abuse to get compliance) programmed by a mutually agreed-upon consensus of opinion emanating from an individual, your parents, teachers, groups and the culture you have arrive in.
During the processes of manufacturing automated artificial ‘people pleasing’ identities or automated artificial ‘me’s’ that inevitably takes place by forcing you into a hypnotic trance state there are certain aspects of your essential spiritual presence, determination, abilities, cleverness, skills, intelligence and strengths that comprise your true natural dynamic personality traits are being submerged, omitted, made nothing of, invalidated, neglected, suppressed, denied and punished until these essential personality traits, abilities and their external manifestations are also buried under suppression and the true spiritual you is completely submerged.
Instead of being a high spirited dynamic ball of energy living life passionately in the right place at the right time with the right people living your dreams and visions - you end up in a hypnotic trance state emanating as a manufactured artificial ‘people pleasing,’ ‘approval seeking’ adult identity acting docilely and subserviently, and yet you would deep down inside still try to feel energetic and passionately dynamic.
You often have to reinforce the positive aspects of who you are by telling yourself that you are a good person, an acceptable person, a normal person. Others would tell you, you are normal, and would accept you as a friend, reinforcing and validating your behavior. But inside, something, a major part of your essence, has been squashed - you may also have a vague feeling that something isn’t right, that even though you should be happy, you don’t feel very happy. Much of your dynamic passionate animation, your essential energy, has been lost to the maintenance of agreed-upon consensus of opinion trance state.
Or you may know that lots of things or situations make you resentful or angry but you suppress these moods in order to get the acceptable but terribly untrue answers to these types of introspective questions – ‘Am I acceptable?’ ‘Am I normal?’ ‘Does anyone really like me?’ ‘What is wrong with me, I feel so insecure and so unhappy?’ ‘Is something very wrong I’m not supposed to feel this miserable?’ ‘Why can’t I say what I really mean?’ ‘Why do I hold back?’ ‘Why do I fear communicating to people?’ ‘Why do I act too late or not at all?’ ‘Will they approve of me?’
What is so deadly about this manufacturing automated artificial ‘people pleasing,’ ‘approval seeking’ identities or automated artificial ‘me’s’ to the child is the child lacks the life skills of distinguishing the differences of what is right or wrong, what is good or bad, what is true or false.
At this early stage the child has only its basic learning skill of mimicry; that is to holographically copy what it sees or is told. The child also lacks the skills of literacy, articulation or communication. Thus the child has to take on trust what his absolute life and masters-of-your-mind controllers composed of his parents, allies, teachers, groups or culture ‘approve of’ and deem to be ‘acceptable’ or ‘normal.’
These Cultural situations and ARTIFICIAL ME’s can cause very degraded, very solid poverty mind-sets and a compulsive attraction to Red Zone Games, people and life positions and situations.
Hubbard was right - (he always was right) - you need to erase the "implanters" that "create you as" one of their robots!
He cleverly made us look everywhere but evaded what was going on in present time - he deliberately dived whole track because he could not or would not confront what he was doing in present time.
The techies know that often clients dive into the past to escape their present time harmful acts.
Any way the only way out if you buy - you were or are wrong - is to start back through the sequence all over again!
Boy did I get that wrong!
Alan
paradox
ab intra silentio vera
....
Hubbard ....
He cleverly made us look everywhere but evaded what was going on in present time - he deliberately dived whole track because he could not or would not confront what he was doing in present time.
....
Alan
[opinion] Yes. I don't think he ever got beyond a defined or conceptual present time, stuck as it is between a remembered (dead) past and an imaginary (potential) future. But never got beyond the intellect of it. Apparently never experienced the authentic full true, non-conceptual, self ... not by an endless "erasure" of stored, dead stories of and about the me ... nor by continual self-indulgence in the current and potential stories. But by simply becoming skillful in letting go of the story-of-me, all at once and in its entirety, if for but a moment of time and resting in the true peace of recognized source. He certainly wove prettily worded mental tapestries about the truth and drew up, plotted, many maps of the me-territory. Some, broad swathes. Some, detailed "technical" pathways. And as is common, thoroughly mistook it all as being the authentic territory. Took it all ... not sincerely ... but seriously.
The mindfield is thoroughly convincing to one thus asleep within its "field of dreams." The death, the letting go of such embodied egoic energy (for the emptiness of energy must always be embodied in the fullness of form of one shape or another to be "meaningful" in any way), the death, the letting go of such a formed one assumed as an identity will always run the gamut of emotions and thoughts which are part-and-parcel of the illusion of its being alive. (As Eckhart Tolle observed and remarked upon: life is not the opposite of death; birth is the opposite of death; it isn't life-and-death, it's birth-and-death; life has no opposite). Energy formed and assumed as identity. It "thinks" if it loses its current form it will die, cease to exist, be nothing: absolute anathema to its assertion of rightness in and of being because - like the eye which cannot see itself - the mind cannot grasp its own existence, it's own illusions because it is grounded in the ultimate reality of the Dreamer. Like the Sleeping Beauty, the Dreamer can only awaken. Or sleep, perchance to dream. Similar to the relation of the eye to light; the mind in relation to Dreamer. Lafayette never awoke. Apparently. [/opinion]
paradox
Vinaire
Sponsor
Very interesting! Reading this I had a momentary glimpse of "from where one can view the mind?" but lost it immediately.
Oh well.
.
paradox
ab intra silentio vera
No, you got it well-glimpsed. That's all it takes; a seed as it were. Don't chase it. Let it, allow it, unthinking, to unfold. To emerge as essential presence. Just words, I know. But you did get it, V. You've always had it. I'll say no more. But, namaste.
paradox
ab intra silentio vera
Vinaire
Sponsor
Namaste, paradox.
PS: And thanks for including the lyrics... you are so considerate...
.
ThisIsIt
Patron with Honors
diving past track
Alan said:
He cleverly made us look everywhere but evaded what was going on in present time - he deliberately dived whole track because he could not or would not confront what he was doing in present time.
This really indicates Alan.
After hearing Gary Renard (The Disappearance of the Universe) talk about time collapsing, I have watched my own time track collapse for the most part.
My spouse and I are studying A COURSE IN MIRACLES ( just one of many paths we are enjoying nowadays). A bit ago we were reading some of the background about the course and we read the following passage about Helen the person who "Jesus" spoke to. Please anyone who reads this realize that all religious words in relation to ACIM are absolutely used metaphorically. The background stuff emphasizes that repeatedly. After reading the following passage, my spouse said immediately, "RON made the mistake of looking at and getting stuck in the left side of the scroll!"
Passage...
There was another very interesting experience that Helen had in which she saw herself walking into a cave. It was a very ancient cave and on its floor was what looked like a Torah scroll with two rods, around which the parchment is wound. (The Torah is the first part of the Old Testament.) It was very ancient. In fact, the little string that tied it together fell off and disintegrated as Helen picked it up. She looked at the scroll and unrolled it, and on the center panel were the words, "GOD IS." She thought that was very nice. Then she unrolled it a little bit more and there was a blank panel on the left and a blank panel on the right. And this voice said to her, "If you look at the left you will be able to read everything that ever happened in the past. And if you look to the right you will be able to read everything that will ever happen in the future." But she said, "No I am not interested in that. All I want is the center panel."
So Helen rolled the scroll back so that the only thing she saw were the words, "GOD IS." Then the voice said to her, "Thank you. This time you made it." She recognized at that time that she had passed some kind of test that evidently she had not been able to do before. What this really meant was that she had expressed a desire not to misuse the ability that she had; in other words, not to use it for any kind of power or curiosity. The only thing that she was really looking for was the present, where God is found.
We have discussed this many times since, so when I saw your post today it made it clear once again.
Your whole post was very eye opening
Please enlighten us some more.
Thanks,
ThisIsIt
Alan said:
He cleverly made us look everywhere but evaded what was going on in present time - he deliberately dived whole track because he could not or would not confront what he was doing in present time.
This really indicates Alan.
After hearing Gary Renard (The Disappearance of the Universe) talk about time collapsing, I have watched my own time track collapse for the most part.
My spouse and I are studying A COURSE IN MIRACLES ( just one of many paths we are enjoying nowadays). A bit ago we were reading some of the background about the course and we read the following passage about Helen the person who "Jesus" spoke to. Please anyone who reads this realize that all religious words in relation to ACIM are absolutely used metaphorically. The background stuff emphasizes that repeatedly. After reading the following passage, my spouse said immediately, "RON made the mistake of looking at and getting stuck in the left side of the scroll!"
Passage...
There was another very interesting experience that Helen had in which she saw herself walking into a cave. It was a very ancient cave and on its floor was what looked like a Torah scroll with two rods, around which the parchment is wound. (The Torah is the first part of the Old Testament.) It was very ancient. In fact, the little string that tied it together fell off and disintegrated as Helen picked it up. She looked at the scroll and unrolled it, and on the center panel were the words, "GOD IS." She thought that was very nice. Then she unrolled it a little bit more and there was a blank panel on the left and a blank panel on the right. And this voice said to her, "If you look at the left you will be able to read everything that ever happened in the past. And if you look to the right you will be able to read everything that will ever happen in the future." But she said, "No I am not interested in that. All I want is the center panel."
So Helen rolled the scroll back so that the only thing she saw were the words, "GOD IS." Then the voice said to her, "Thank you. This time you made it." She recognized at that time that she had passed some kind of test that evidently she had not been able to do before. What this really meant was that she had expressed a desire not to misuse the ability that she had; in other words, not to use it for any kind of power or curiosity. The only thing that she was really looking for was the present, where God is found.
We have discussed this many times since, so when I saw your post today it made it clear once again.
Your whole post was very eye opening
Please enlighten us some more.
Thanks,
ThisIsIt
Nibs
Patron
After my wife and I left Scn over 20 years ago we continued to look for whatever it was we looked for when we first got into Scn. Much to my brainwashed mind's surprise one area that held answers but usually not solutions what psychology. What I understood was that over the last 100 years they have observed and noted down all manner of typical human behavior. We are all unique but in terms of process we are very similar. Within the last 3 years I discovered that my wife was a victim of real child abuse which sent her life in many negative directions. This was addressed and passed over numerous times in auditing, why handle terrible and unconfrontable things when you can run out times you were blown-up in a space ship. In reading these comments I am reminded of the concept of "toxic shame" which produces the "artificial me" that seems to lead people to follow strong leaders (Dad's) who continue to disappoint but you follow none the less. I am angry that the basic tools of Dianetics and Scn which I still feel would be helpful in solving these terrible problems were never properly used.
"
[FONT=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]As toxic shame, it is an excruciatingly internal experience of unexpected exposure. It is a deep cut felt primarily from the inside. It divides us from ourselves and from others. In toxic shame, we disown ourselves. And this disowning demands a cover-up. Toxic shame parades in many garbs and get-ups. It loves darkness and secretiveness. It is the dark secret aspect of shame which has evaded our study.
[/FONT]
[FONT=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]
[/FONT]
[FONT=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Because toxic shame stays in hiding and covers itself up, we have to track it down by learning to recognize its many faces and its many distracting behavioral cover-ups."[/FONT]
"
[FONT=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]As toxic shame, it is an excruciatingly internal experience of unexpected exposure. It is a deep cut felt primarily from the inside. It divides us from ourselves and from others. In toxic shame, we disown ourselves. And this disowning demands a cover-up. Toxic shame parades in many garbs and get-ups. It loves darkness and secretiveness. It is the dark secret aspect of shame which has evaded our study.
[/FONT]
[FONT=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]
[/FONT]
[FONT=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Because toxic shame stays in hiding and covers itself up, we have to track it down by learning to recognize its many faces and its many distracting behavioral cover-ups."[/FONT]
I hope you will forgive me for this -
As I reviewed what happened - my review was terribly flawed - as I had bought that I was wrong - the Hubbard, Mary-Sue, the SO, the SO must have been right.
The reason that I could not see the truth was - I had been created by the group/gang as an Artificial Me type of Identity.
Here is what I wrote about Artificial Me type identities.
ARTIFICIAL ME
This is the most common sequence that creates the being as something other than his true self.
An ARTIFICIAL ME is an identity that is “created as” in an acceptable or approved way of being – doing – owning and having identity in order to fit in or be part of society plus to be under the complete control of these outside sources – the majority of the ARTIFICIAL ME’s creation points are from outside sources.
Most of us have had a very long misidentifying hypnotic period of time when our spirituality, attention, thoughts, determination, mind, body, space, time, energy, things and subjects are under the complete power, domination, and control of another or others and completely dependent on another or others for our existence, survival and well being.
We all have a long period in our life starting at birth through the years of our early childhood when we are totally dependent on others for our very existence and growth including the knowledge of what life and living is all about.
Childhood is inevitably a gradual process of shaping the thoughts, beliefs, behavior, standards, principles and consciousness of the child’s identity or who he is (that in his universe is what represent his ‘me,’) and the subsequent automated adult identity, thing or object that represents his ‘me,’ in order to be ‘acceptable’ and ‘normal’, to fit the approved social norms.
It is a process of hypnotically manufacturing automated artificial ‘people pleasing,’ ‘approval seeking’ identities, things, objects that represent and are known as automated artificial ‘me’s’ instituted by forcing you into a hypnotic trance state by the use of emotional blackmail, manipulation and coercion (and in many cases the use of physical force and abuse to get compliance) programmed by a mutually agreed-upon consensus of opinion emanating from an individual, your parents, teachers, groups and the culture you have arrive in.
During the processes of manufacturing automated artificial ‘people pleasing’ identities or automated artificial ‘me’s’ that inevitably takes place by forcing you into a hypnotic trance state there are certain aspects of your essential spiritual presence, determination, abilities, cleverness, skills, intelligence and strengths that comprise your true natural dynamic personality traits are being submerged, omitted, made nothing of, invalidated, neglected, suppressed, denied and punished until these essential personality traits, abilities and their external manifestations are also buried under suppression and the true spiritual you is completely submerged.
Instead of being a high spirited dynamic ball of energy living life passionately in the right place at the right time with the right people living your dreams and visions - you end up in a hypnotic trance state emanating as a manufactured artificial ‘people pleasing,’ ‘approval seeking’ adult identity acting docilely and subserviently, and yet you would deep down inside still try to feel energetic and passionately dynamic.
You often have to reinforce the positive aspects of who you are by telling yourself that you are a good person, an acceptable person, a normal person. Others would tell you, you are normal, and would accept you as a friend, reinforcing and validating your behavior. But inside, something, a major part of your essence, has been squashed - you may also have a vague feeling that something isn’t right, that even though you should be happy, you don’t feel very happy. Much of your dynamic passionate animation, your essential energy, has been lost to the maintenance of agreed-upon consensus of opinion trance state.
Or you may know that lots of things or situations make you resentful or angry but you suppress these moods in order to get the acceptable but terribly untrue answers to these types of introspective questions – ‘Am I acceptable?’ ‘Am I normal?’ ‘Does anyone really like me?’ ‘What is wrong with me, I feel so insecure and so unhappy?’ ‘Is something very wrong I’m not supposed to feel this miserable?’ ‘Why can’t I say what I really mean?’ ‘Why do I hold back?’ ‘Why do I fear communicating to people?’ ‘Why do I act too late or not at all?’ ‘Will they approve of me?’
What is so deadly about this manufacturing automated artificial ‘people pleasing,’ ‘approval seeking’ identities or automated artificial ‘me’s’ to the child is the child lacks the life skills of distinguishing the differences of what is right or wrong, what is good or bad, what is true or false.
At this early stage the child has only its basic learning skill of mimicry; that is to holographically copy what it sees or is told. The child also lacks the skills of literacy, articulation or communication. Thus the child has to take on trust what his absolute life and masters-of-your-mind controllers composed of his parents, allies, teachers, groups or culture ‘approve of’ and deem to be ‘acceptable’ or ‘normal.’
These Cultural situations and ARTIFICIAL ME’s can cause very degraded, very solid poverty mind-sets and a compulsive attraction to Red Zone Games, people and life positions and situations.
Hubbard was right - (he always was right) - you need to erase the "implanters" that "create you as" one of their robots!
He cleverly made us look everywhere but evaded what was going on in present time - he deliberately dived whole track because he could not or would not confront what he was doing in present time.
The techies know that often clients dive into the past to escape their present time harmful acts.
Any way the only way out if you buy - you were or are wrong - is to start back through the sequence all over again!
Boy did I get that wrong!
Alan
Alan
Gold Meritorious Patron
The next part is much more charged as it covers Mary-Sue Hubbard and the GO World Wide's attempt to destroy me utterly.
Far from leaving me alone - the next move by Mary-Sue Hubbard and the GOWW was to get me deported as well as prosecuted for tax evasion.
This takes time as the IRS does not move fast.
Alan
Good twin
Floater
Oh dear Alan, I know this is not easy for you. I appreciate your time and emotional investment in revisiting these painful experiences. Knowing that you HAVE survived it makes the story so valuable to all of us on this message board. You take your time in the telling, but IMO you must continue (for yourself as well as for all of us).
Alan
Gold Meritorious Patron
Oh dear Alan, I know this is not easy for you. I appreciate your time and emotional investment in revisiting these painful experiences. Knowing that you HAVE survived it makes the story so valuable to all of us on this message board. You take your time in the telling, but IMO you must continue (for yourself as well as for all of us).
Thank you GT!
One of the basic actions of the GO - OSA tactics is to isolate the individual - if possible destroy their communication lines.
The greatest nightmare for GO - OSA is the lists like XSO, ESMB, ESK, etc., where we have reconnected and begun to tell our stories and help each other get back on our feet.
Each story lets a little light into the darkness
Good twin
Floater
Thank you GT!
One of the basic actions of the GO - OSA tactics is to isolate the individual - if possible destroy their communication lines.
The greatest nightmare for GO - OSA is the lists like XSO, ESMB, ESK, etc., where we have reconnected and begun to tell our stories and help each other get back on our feet.
Each story lets a little light into the darkness
Amen my friend!
Aliceinwonderland
Patron with Honors
Thank you GT!
One of the basic actions of the GO - OSA tactics is to isolate the individual - if possible destroy their communication lines.
The greatest nightmare for GO - OSA is the lists like XSO, ESMB, ESK, etc., where we have reconnected and begun to tell our stories and help each other get back on our feet.
Each story lets a little light into the darkness
I realize I’m suggesting something in the middle of your story here, but have you thought of creating a “fiction” book with your experience? I suppose you’d change the names, etc., but perhaps writing in the form of a “story” or “novel”, might do several things. It might give some people more insight on what goes on behind the scenes of Scn or at least at that time. It might allow for you to take another look at things in detail and it will also let you share your philosophies, teachings and wisdoms to others as well, but in a story form. I think people learn and at least are more open when information is communicated in an entertaining manner.
I find your story quite interesting and the willingness of sharing your views heartwarming. Writing from an “advisory” and “teaching” capacity is great, however, writing from a total self-experience and perhaps more vulnerable “appearing” side might be appealing to many people and open up a few more possibilities for you (who knows
). A new Trilogy by Alan Walter - The Apollo Chronicles (was that the correct ship)?
Alan
Gold Meritorious Patron
I realize I’m suggesting something in the middle of your story here, but have you thought of creating a “fiction” book with your experience? I suppose you’d change the names, etc., but perhaps writing in the form of a “story” or “novel”, might do several things. It might give some people more insight on what goes on behind the scenes of Scn or at least at that time. It might allow for you to take another look at things in detail and it will also let you share your philosophies, teachings and wisdoms to others as well, but in a story form. I think people learn and at least are more open when information is communicated in an entertaining manner.
I find your story quite interesting and the willingness of sharing your views heartwarming. Writing from an “advisory” and “teaching” capacity is great, however, writing from a total self-experience and perhaps more vulnerable “appearing” side might be appealing to many people and open up a few more possibilities for you (who knows
A new Trilogy by Alan Walter - The Apollo Chronicles (was that the correct ship)?
The reason I can tell my story is because so many people have helped me by answering questions about what went on at specific times.
One I owe a debt of gratitude is Larry Brennan who took the time to tell me what was going on at the Int base when I and others did the original Mission Holders meetings back in 1981.
Another is Chuck Beatty who got me to join XSO - which was full of my hated exCMO people!
There are many others who I will not draw attention to
Most of the past incidents were from observations at the time - but I had no verification of.
The hardest thing to get over is that one was so blind - but that was the way LRH set the game up.
Bit by bit most of the full story will come to view
Aliceinwonderland
Patron with Honors
The reason I can tell my story is because so many people have helped me by answering questions about what went on at specific times.
One I owe a debt of gratitude is Larry Brennan who took the time to tell me what was going on at the Int base when I and others did the original Mission Holders meetings back in 1981.
Another is Chuck Beatty who got me to join XSO - which was full of my hated exCMO people!
There are many others who I will not draw attention to
Yea - nothing like getting out of mystery, which I suppose is one of the contributors towards the shock and the rest of the dominoes after that.
Most of the past incidents were from observations at the time - but I had no verification of.
The hardest thing to get over is that one was so blind - but that was the way LRH set the game up.
Bit by bit most of the full story will come to view
I won't continue to suggest this
but another reason why I suggested a "book" is because you make things so understandable for others. Some of the "insights" and breaking down to details is important for people who have a conceptual basic feeling of their own experiences, but who cannot articulate well enough (even to themselves) to be able to "logic" a situation out in order to see some "truths" - if that makes sense. Just a little relating here. For me the biggest thing in Scn was all the admiration and support one got when doing things that were agreed upon. Since I grew up in a family where invalidations were the "norm", Scn was the biggest and freshest breath of air. To me, this is what helps to hide whatever secrets, manipulations and horrifying acts the Execs in the "church" might do.
Thanks for letting me share and perhaps give a little feedback to you. I can't say anything for you, but it always is a great support for me if I tell a story and I get some good feedback, like you're doing
Please, don't let me interrupt
- continue!
Mark A. Baker
Sponsor
One way of interpreting the circumstances. Another is nothing sets off the professionally paranoid like another paranoid's attacks (note: see PTS/SP tech).
Mark A. Baker
Mark A. Baker
Sponsor
I won't continue to suggest this
I second the motion. I think that Ol' Timers with a wealth of experience with the early Co$ & LRH personally should all give considerations to either writing individual books or contributing stories to a compilation of memoirs.
Not to serve so much as an expose. Exposes can be off-putting to a disinterested public because of the perception of conflict. But the stories themselves are quite fascinating and would be quite likely to capture a wider audience.
Besides, interesting stories about LRH often serve as "exposes" in themselves.
Mark A. Baker
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