Almost able to come completely out! Woo Hoo!

Lori

Cheryl E Love
I just have to share some potentially fantastic news! My one remaining family member in the cult of scientology just reached out to me and is coming home! :happydance: :clap:

I have been flying under the radar for the last 4 years and, if all goes smoothly this week no more tippy toeing and pretending I am still "on board". I can FINALLY come all the way out and fully tell my story.

I have learned from you guys (and gals) to not overload her with too much but any advice on where to start? For me it was easy to start looking. All it took was a list of websites we were "forbidden" to visit. That was like waving a red flag and shouting look at me!! With her it is not so simple. She has been in half her life.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Yea!!!!!! :party:
 

I told you I was trouble

Suspended animation
What wonderful news!!!

I wouldn't show her a single thing until she asks ... and even then just a gentle nudge in the right direction.

Just enjoy getting to know each other again and it will all fall into place naturally and one day she will be sitting in front of a computer with tears running down her face and needing you to just put your arms around her.

Thanks for sharing this, it means a lot.


:heartflower::heartflower::heartflower:
 

GoNuclear

Gold Meritorious Patron
I just have to share some potentially fantastic news! My one remaining family member in the cult of scientology just reached out to me and is coming home! :happydance: :clap:

I have been flying under the radar for the last 4 years and, if all goes smoothly this week no more tippy toeing and pretending I am still "on board". I can FINALLY come all the way out and fully tell my story.

I have learned from you guys (and gals) to not overload her with too much but any advice on where to start? For me it was easy to start looking. All it took was a list of websites we were "forbidden" to visit. That was like waving a red flag and shouting look at me!! With her it is not so simple. She has been in half her life.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Yea!!!!!! :party:

Sounds like she is a sea ogre, right? There is some very considerable mindphug to overcome. If you have not yet done so, you should read Counterfeit Dreams, the Jeff Hawkins blog. He was age 58 when he got out after 35 years in, mainly as a sea ogre, with family still in altho not SO. He describes what he went thru in the process of unwinding/getting a job, etc.

As a first step, tho, take her out and get her drunk. I would suggest champagne. Maybe after several glasses, but not enough to make her puke or stagger, have her read some genuine "entheta" such as xenu.net which has some excellent archives. With her hangover the next day, you can give her some asprin some NSAID pain relievers, or perhaps even better have her take a percocet or two or three or some vicodin. In addition to the pain relief, it is getting her past a Scientological no-no.
As far as that goes, the sooner you can get her to fire up a joint the better, that way she will have certainty that she is not going back.

Pete
 

Stat

Gold Meritorious Patron
Also, this from Bruce Hines (when she is ready):

"I first started auditing “OTs” in 1979. I did this full-time (i.e averaging over 40 hours per week “in the chair”) until 1987.
I continued doing this after that until 2001, though not as much per week. This means that I audited literally hundreds “OTs” (or the Co$ calls them “preOTs”),
ranging from OT III through OT VIII.

When you audit someone, you have to study their auditing files, which contain many details about their life.
In session you hear a lot about their current life, both good and bad. In all that experience, I never heard about one single OT phenomenon.
By this I mean something that could be independently verified as not just thoughts (delusions?) in the person’s mind.

And actually, very rarely did any of them claim any experiences similar to those that Tony has posted from Advance magazine. Most of them didn’t even pretend to have special powers.
What I found was that these “OTs” had pretty much the same illnesses, money troubles, domestic strife, workplace difficulties, etc., as all people. And in the same frequency.

Now, I’m sure that Co$ people reading this would say that, of course, because I was a bad auditor with “out TRs”, the people I was auditing wouldn’t have experienced gains,
or been willing to share with me. But from what I read in people’s auditing folders, other auditors got the same results. In fact, from 1987 to about 1994 or 1995,
it was my job to review auditing folders from all over the world, in detail, and critique videos of auditing sessions done by other auditors.

It took me a while after I left the cult to arrive at this conclusion: there are no “OT abilities”.

People who consider themselves to be “on the Bridge” have all sorts of mental mechanisms (thought-stopping cliches, etc.) to explain this lack of results.

Personally, I have encountered people outside the “church” who are MUCH more capable in various fields than most “OTs”, and much more pleasant to be around."

http://ortegaunderground.wordpress....t-8s-can-you-show-cause-over-matter/#more-482
 

Stat

Gold Meritorious Patron
If you have not yet done so, you should read Counterfeit Dreams, the Jeff Hawkins blog.
He was age 58 when he got out after 35 years in, mainly as a sea ogre, with family still in altho not SO.
He describes what he went thru in the process of unwinding/getting a job, etc. Pete

Counterfeit Dreams by Jeff Hawkins is a must, indeed. It helped me very much.
http://counterfeitdreams.blogspot.com/ It's a great read too. And it's free.
 

Outethicsofficer

Silver Meritorious Patron
Lori, does she have any idea that you have distanced yourself from Scientology? Given you have been under the radar she may have no idea of where you're at! Are you are hoping to take a die-hard member from nowhere to where she will question her involvement? Now that would be a big task and you may not have the time nor her attention to bring it off. How can you be sure she is not just coming to "handle'' you!

I hope for both you and your family member's sake she is at a point where she can be approached on it. If she is then she will no doubt make some move to open the conversation, that or you will perceive an entry point and go for it. Once that ground has been broken there will be little to hold her back.

The decompression time seems much quicker lately and I am amazed at how rapidly those whom we once thought would have never moved away from the church have done so.

I hope this goes well for you.

James
 

Lori

Cheryl E Love
Lori, does she have any idea that you have distanced yourself from Scientology? Given you have been under the radar she may have no idea of where you're at! Are you are hoping to take a die-hard member from nowhere to where she will question her involvement? Now that would be a big task and you may not have the time nor her attention to bring it off. How can you be sure she is not just coming to "handle'' you!

I hope for both you and your family member's sake she is at a point where she can be approached on it. If she is then she will no doubt make some move to open the conversation, that or you will perceive an entry point and go for it. Once that ground has been broken there will be little to hold her back.

The decompression time seems much quicker lately and I am amazed at how rapidly those whom we once thought would have never moved away from the church have done so.

I hope this goes well for you.

James


I am willing to take that chance. She knows I am not "active" and she also knows the hell I have been going through with my divorce. She has expressed her confusion as to why my ex is being "coddled " when there were so many known "crimes" that were perpetrated. (Her observations) She even originated that it must be the money flowing in from my ex! Not sure if she is baiting me or sees it on her own.

But, bottom line is I love her enough to chance it. If there is any chance I must take it. It would be wrong not to in my heart.
 

Lori

Cheryl E Love
Lori, does she have any idea that you have distanced yourself from Scientology? Given you have been under the radar she may have no idea of where you're at! Are you are hoping to take a die-hard member from nowhere to where she will question her involvement? Now that would be a big task and you may not have the time nor her attention to bring it off. How can you be sure she is not just coming to "handle'' you!

I hope for both you and your family member's sake she is at a point where she can be approached on it. If she is then she will no doubt make some move to open the conversation, that or you will perceive an entry point and go for it. Once that ground has been broken there will be little to hold her back.

The decompression time seems much quicker lately and I am amazed at how rapidly those whom we once thought would have never moved away from the church have done so.

I hope this goes well for you.

James


I am willing to take that chance. She knows I am not "active" and she also knows the hell I have been going through with my divorce. She has expressed her confusion as to why my ex is being "coddled " when there were so many known "crimes" that were perpetrated. (Her observations) She even originated that it must be the money flowing in from my ex! Not sure if she is baiting me or sees it on her own.

But, bottom line is I love her enough to chance it. If there is any chance I must take it. It would be wrong not to in my heart.
 
I just have to share some potentially fantastic news! My one remaining family member in the cult of scientology just reached out to me and is coming home! :happydance: :clap:

I have been flying under the radar for the last 4 years and, if all goes smoothly this week no more tippy toeing and pretending I am still "on board". I can FINALLY come all the way out and fully tell my story.

I have learned from you guys (and gals) to not overload her with too much but any advice on where to start? For me it was easy to start looking. All it took was a list of websites we were "forbidden" to visit. That was like waving a red flag and shouting look at me!! With her it is not so simple. She has been in half her life.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Yea!!!!!! :party:

Just provide her a safe space to decompress and when she has questions encourage her to look for her own answers on the internet. Keep things as calm and non-confrontational as possible. She'll appreciate the contrast from church-oriented life. Let her build a good life for herself away from the church and everything else will work out with time.


Mark A. Baker
 

Free to shine

Shiny & Free
Yay! :happydance:
You'll have to play it by ear a bit ... yes the "handling you" thing is a possibility but that soon becomes apparent. Don't give out any info you don't want scientology to know, at first, because 'handlings' and 'flip flops' are possible.

Happy for you - it gives me hope.
 

FoTi

Crusader
Is she in the S.O. or on staff or public?

What prompted the visit?

How long is she planning on visiting with you?
 

Happy Days

Silver Meritorious Patron
Great news Lori...

If she was in the SO then it would be a safe, caring, loving, nutritious food, rest and a routine environment I found to be the way to go, so they can arrive and get the body in order while coming to terms with a new work life balance, it can be quite a journey.

So all the best and may the arrival of your love one brings with it unconditional love and respect.

:dance3:
 

SpecialFrog

Silver Meritorious Patron
Jeff Hawkins's "Leaving Scientology" is excellent too when they are ready. It really digs into some of the reasons that make it hard for Scientologists to think critically about Scientology.
 

WildKat

Gold Meritorious Patron
Welcome Lori! This is great news!
I feel like I know you, somehow.
Hopefully you can share more when the time is right.
 

WildKat

Gold Meritorious Patron
Also, this from Bruce Hines (when she is ready):

"I first started auditing “OTs” in 1979. I did this full-time (i.e averaging over 40 hours per week “in the chair”) until 1987.
I continued doing this after that until 2001, though not as much per week. This means that I audited literally hundreds “OTs” (or the Co$ calls them “preOTs”),
ranging from OT III through OT VIII.

When you audit someone, you have to study their auditing files, which contain many details about their life.
In session you hear a lot about their current life, both good and bad. In all that experience, I never heard about one single OT phenomenon.
By this I mean something that could be independently verified as not just thoughts (delusions?) in the person’s mind.

And actually, very rarely did any of them claim any experiences similar to those that Tony has posted from Advance magazine. Most of them didn’t even pretend to have special powers.
What I found was that these “OTs” had pretty much the same illnesses, money troubles, domestic strife, workplace difficulties, etc., as all people. And in the same frequency.

Now, I’m sure that Co$ people reading this would say that, of course, because I was a bad auditor with “out TRs”, the people I was auditing wouldn’t have experienced gains,
or been willing to share with me. But from what I read in people’s auditing folders, other auditors got the same results. In fact, from 1987 to about 1994 or 1995,
it was my job to review auditing folders from all over the world, in detail, and critique videos of auditing sessions done by other auditors.

It took me a while after I left the cult to arrive at this conclusion: there are no “OT abilities”.

People who consider themselves to be “on the Bridge” have all sorts of mental mechanisms (thought-stopping cliches, etc.) to explain this lack of results.

Personally, I have encountered people outside the “church” who are MUCH more capable in various fields than most “OTs”, and much more pleasant to be around."

http://ortegaunderground.wordpress....t-8s-can-you-show-cause-over-matter/#more-482

This is powerful information, especially for any lurkers sitting on the fence, wondering if they are "giving up their eternity" or giving up "going OT". Maybe you can post it in a new thread under the heading "There are NO OT's" or something?
 

AnonyMary

Formerly Fooled - Finally Free
This is wonderful news!

Be prepared for anything and don't be anxious for her to adapt right away. Just let her know by your actions that you love her (no matter what ) and care about her and give her time to decompress.

Ask her what her plans are and if she'd like your help in navigating the 'wog' world (as she most likely see it as being).

If she was in the Sea Org for years, there are many new life adventures ahead for her. For example:

Take her on walks to a nearby park. That luxury is so far removed from the average scientologist - certainly the average SO member, that it will remind her that walking isn't running to some destination.

Take her to an popular outdoor cafe ( or indoor if weather doesn't permit that) where there are lots of people enjoying themselves and chatting it up, where there is some nice background music. Let her watch life, listen to life. Absorb it.

See if she needs help getting identification, a drivers license, or help with listing her skills in a 'wog' manner so eventually she can create a resume and/ or apply for jobs.

Help her learn how to set up and use a bank account.

But just let her know that you love her and care about her through your actions and you will be amazed how things will evolve.

Best wishes,

Mary
 
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