These days, I find myself more and more acting as a sort of mediator.
You see, I have friends who still consider themselves Scientologists, and I have friends who are no longer Scientologists. Some of my ex-Scientologist friends say “Eeew! How can you be friends with them (the Scientologists)!” And some of my “independent Scientologist” friends say “Eeeew! How can you be friends with them (the ex-Scientologists)!”
How can I be friends with them? Well, because I’ve never required, as a condition of friendship, that someone agree with me.
Someone once said, “You only learn from people you disagree with.” I believe this. I’m not trying to set my life up as an echo-chamber of like-minded people. I have friends who are Evangelical Christians, Jews, Atheists, Right-wing Conservatives, wild-eyed Liberals, and so on. I enjoy a good conversation – or even a good argument.
I have a friend who is an artist. One day, someone walked into his gallery, looked at one of his paintings, and said “I hate it.” My friend said, “Good! At least you have an opinion!”
Can’t we rejoice in the fact that people have opinions that may be different from our own? And maybe get a little curious as to why they have those opinions, and why they differ from ours?
I recall getting in touch with an old friend a few years after we had left the Int Base. We had gone in different directions. He still believed in Scientology and practiced it outside the Church. I didn’t. So we had some heated discussions. He didn’t understand why I was speaking out against the Church. I didn’t understand why he wasn’t. So we had a vigorous discussion. But we didn’t “disconnect” and we didn’t start vilifying each other and we didn’t call each other names (well, OK, maybe once or twice!).
Why? Because we were good friends and respected each other. We still disagree on many things, but we understand and respect each other more. I understood a bit better why someone might continue practicing some parts of Scientology, and he gained a better understanding of why someone would not. And we remain close friends.
We weren’t arguing because we “hated” each other. I gave him my criticisms of Scientology not because I “hate Scientology” but because I wanted him to understand my viewpoint.
I have another friend who – seriously folks – is trying to convert me to Christianity. I told him it was a lost cause – and told him my criticisms of Christianity – again, not because I “hate Christianity” but because I wanted him to understand where I was coming from. Now he respects my right not to be a Christian, and I respect his right to be a Christian. And we’re still friends.
When we were members of the Church of Scientology, we were taught to instantly attack anyone who was critical of Scientology or LRH in the slightest. We demonized these people. They were “evil.” They were to be attacked!
I’m afraid that residual impulse still exists in many.
It’s easy to demonize people who don’t agree with you, to set up a stereotyped, evil strawman. Supposedly, we are told, there are people on the so-called “left wing of Scientology” who want to burn all Scientology books and forbid anyone from ever applying Scientology – even outside the Church. They supposedly criticize Scientology out of pure hatred.
The problem? I don’t know anyone like that – and I know a lot of people. Sure, I know people who are critical of Scientology – hell, I am myself. But most people I know, no matter how critical they are of Scientology, respect the right of people to believe whatever they want and practice whatever they want – as long as they don’t abuse or hurt anyone.
But no – now anyone who criticizes Scientology tech or LRH in any way is labeled by some as a “hater” or a “left-wing cat.”
And there are stereotypes in the other direction, too. Supposedly, anyone who still believes in any part of Scientology or practices it is a brainwashed idiot, robotically accepting anything and everything Hubbard said as gospel truth. Again, I don’t know anyone like that – and I know a lot of people.
Most of those who still consider themselves Scientologists have their own questions and doubts. And they are working their way through them, just as we did. They may not talk about it on the chat boards or blogs, but they do talk about it privately. They do know the tech is not perfect and Hubbard was not perfect. And they are trying to sort out for themselves what is true for them and what is not.
We all went through our own experience with Scientology and we all took different things away from it. We are all trying to sort through that experience and make some sense of it. So is it possible to respect each other’s journey and to respect each other’s conclusions, even if they differ from our own?
There has been talk of the “Middle Way” of Buddhism. But remember that one of the points of the “Noble Eightfold Path” is “Right Speech.” And one of the facets of “Right Speech” is “abandoning divisive speech.”
“What he has heard here he does not tell there to break those people apart from these people here...Thus reconciling those who have broken apart or cementing those who are united, he loves concord, delights in concord, enjoys concord, speaks things that create concord...”
So, if you are villanizing those who disagree with you, making them into a stereotyped, evil strawman, and then attacking them, are you really practicing anything that could be classified as a “Middle Way?”
We all seem to agree on one thing, that abuse, criminality and fraud in the name of Scientology must stop. So maybe we can focus on that.
Or not.
Peace.
Jeff
