And we are Everyone, everywhere

I dedicate this story(To cover my ass, I got to say it's a WORK OF FICTION!!) to the following people:
Dr3k's ex(aka Sea Org Slut) for :
zinji-> For having the guts to show his face.
WPRT-> For being surprisingly hot.
WPRT's husband-> For being an inspiration for us all.
To Tory, Arnie, WBM, and other people who are supressing the ***** out of scientology for so long ;-p

BTW: English is not my first language,so give me a break for typos and bad grammar.

Hello Enturbulators, random Anons and the eventual OSA Spy,

I got a story for you, (that may or may not be fictional-you know why) that is a little victory, yet anon style.

I live in Brazil, and even tough I don’t live in São Paulo, the city where the Co$ has installed herself (Tax-free and everything else), recently little missions (That’s how small orgs are called, right?) have popped around the country, and unfortunately, the city where I live is no longer Co$-free.

That’s right, they are here. And better yet, they decided to give free personality tests near my college, so they can lure more and more people who actually have money.

I got to say, I got really surprised when, walking a street, someone handed a flier, saying it was about a philosophy group of some sorts, and it had something about L. Ron Hubby. Now, it has to be said that most people on Brazil never heard of Scientology, nor take it seriously, dismissing it as a Placenta-eaters Crazy North-American Hollywood Celebrities Religion. Most people here never even heard of dhianetics, especially here, not so close from the biggest city in the country. Easy prey, right?

So here are the recruiters, couple of meters away from one of the gates from where the students enter and leave the facilities(Curiously, not the one the Psychology undergrads commonly use.), since last Monday. I could not expose them, because people would think I was a) crazy, b) a bigot or c) preachy. I could not use the Fawkes mask, because they would easily find my identity and fair game the shit out of me. What could I do? I mean, I could talk to my friends/classmates, but I could not talk to everyone, nor have a little chat with strangers who just took the test by their stand.

Remembering Anonifus story, I passed by their little t stand the same time as a little crowd and shouted Anonymous (Remember, we speak Portuguese, I couldn’t say Expect Us. Hell, I thought they didn’t even hear about the protests.) Some scilon on my fake orkut profile said I should look how Germany’s (!) past court decisions were in favor of Co$) what somehow startled them(I couldn’t watch all their reactions, or otherwise they would realize it was me who shouted.

I was in the middle of the hell that is a college gate after the last class, there was a lot of noise, but I could see that they raised their heads and stated looking around when I turned back a little). They had heard about the psychlo/Marcab internet army. That gave me a little satisfaction, but it didn’t solve anything. I had to take it the next step. How could I show them Anonymous was everywhere? Or at least make them get away from my college. That’s when I came with a little plan to mess with them.

The next day I went to a phone store and bought a pre-paid cell phone chip, registering it under a fake name.(I don’t know about other countries, but here you call them and give them your name/some documents. I used some random person documents. This would be a crime if this story wasn’t a WORK OF FICTION). Now I had a phone number that wasn’t mine, nor could be traced back. Then, I went home, picked up some old clothes, some hair mousse, shaved. I looked different(Not completely, just so that they couldn’t find me easily in a crowd, in case they saw me later).

Then, since I attend college at night, and there are recruiters there, I assumed there would be recruiters after the morning classes, what would be great, since no one I knew would be there (They could be there, doing research in the library or exercising in gym, but not near lunch time) and I could at least be taken for a twin with different tastes. As you would expect, there were recruiters there, although not the same as last night’s, which was great. So I started walking towards their stand, trying to look casual (I was nervous, but anyone can attest I’m a great liar. I think they didn’t notice.), and when I was passing by it, a late-twenties guy said:

-Excuse me sir, could I have a minute of your attention?
I turned around and smiled, but not too much.

-Sure, but Sir is in heaven-This play of words only works in Portuguese, as the literal translation of Sir means God. It’s a cheesy joke, but like I said, I was nervous. Give me a break, will ya?

I can’t remember what our small talk was, aside for telling them my “Name”(another random one) but then he offered me, better, offered my pseudonym, a free personality test. (I thought about getting the correct answers from Clambake, but I couldn’t remember the entire sequence, the translated (or updated) questions could be in a different order, or it wouldn’t matter at all.) I gave honest answers to all the questions, since what mattered (and what I hoped) was that they would invite me to their org, and try to sell me Dianética and some other Courses.

After the test, I asked if the results were instantaneous (a computer could give me the results in no time, what would ruin it all.), but they said that they would have to get in touch with me later, since it would take a little time to analyze the data as they were serious, not some scam, etc. I gave them my number, not before saying I was uncomfortable with it:

-You never know what kind of psycho could get hold of it, right?

I walked away trying not to smile, but I was nervous and excited at the same time, and kind of paranoid, trying to make sure I wasn’t being followed to my car. I was jumpy. Later that day, I created a fake profile on Orkut, asked some questions about small orgs (later I would learn it wasn’t an org yet, it was a mission) on esmb, gathered info about Jenna Miscavige, Lisa Mcpherson, etc. I made little fliers of my own(5x10cm), with links to (a great blog with info about the Co$ in Portuguese).
For the trolling part, I redirected a crazy movie flash located here,, hoping that I could make any of them somehow enter it, to this domain on, .( I wanted to name it marcab message/fleet, but I couldn’t. But it has Marcab on it, so our masters shall be pleased).

Now I had to expect their call. It was Wednesday.
The afternoon went without incidents, so did the night. I was expecting them to call me in a couple of hours, probably during class, but no. By Thursday morning, I began to think they realized I wasn’t really interested. By noon, I was sure the phone was canceled due to the fake info I gave the phone company (Yeah, right. They are really worried about it.). Around 3 o’clock I got the call:

Woman:-Mr. ------------

Me-Yes, that’s me.

W-We have your results about your personally test.

M- Oh great! How did I go?

W-Well sir, could you come down to Our address, so we can discuss it personally?

M-You can’t tell me?

W- Of course we can, but it would be better if one of our trained professionals discussed it with you, sir. Could you come here now?

M-Well, I’m kind of busy right now; can we schedule it tomorrow morning?

W-Of couse sir; how about 9:30 ?

M -Perfect. I’ll be there.

W- Thanks. Se you tomorrow.

(I have scheduled a meeting. Not ONCE I had been told it was a religion. It felt like a doctor’s appointment.)
On Friday, I woke up 6:00am. I couldn’t wait till my “appointment”. Keep thinking on how I was going to behave in there. I could handle my fliers to everyone, and then bail. “Bad Idea. They will dismiss me and throw it away”-echoed a voice in my head-“I got to let them lying in a coffee table of some sorts. I have to be inconspicuous. If I can plant that site in a pc, it will be a bonus, not my main goal.”

I took a shower, tried to emulate how my alter-ego would dress, got some hair gel on, grabbed the fliers. I was good to go. On my way there, I contemplated giving up a lot. I was being crazy, what if someone I knew was there? What if they found out my pseudonym was nothing but a pseudonym? What if they saw the fliers and decided to fair game me? I was shaking.

I found the building, and then parked my car away from it. I had to be careful, so I took my time to walk around random streets.
--------------------------------Part2 coming-------------------------
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I read all that and theres not even an end to it yet?! Roar!

You did a fine job for english being your 2nd language, but it was still hard to read, damn it I'm pissed! :duh:



Patron Meritorious
I dedicate this story(To cover my ass, I got to say it's a WORK OF FICTION!!) to the following people:
Dr3k's ex(aka Sea Org Slut) for :
zinji-> For having the guts to show his face.
WPRT-> For being surprisingly hot.
WPRT's husband-> For being an inspiration for us all.
To Tory, Arnie, WBM, and other people who are supressing the ***** out of scientology for so long ;-p


Gee thanks, anno. :blush:

I love how much you are getting in your alter ego and carrying out these shenannigans. I am looking forward to part two.
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