I am not an ex, not an Aussie. I had a brush with scn about 30 yrs ago, for a few months (at most). I saw someone (I cared for) being punished for something I did (quite innocently, BTW), as a public (not really understanding or knowing the inside workings of co$). He was put into some kind of rpf thing, conditions, whatever. I was sent in to see him - for - hell, I don't know. I was told to 'help him' get back on post, or something like that.
I was appalled, by what I felt in that room, by what I saw, what I sensed.
The hair stood up on the back of my neck. Every fiber of my being was on alert - and I knew my life depended on how I handled the situation. I had to play it very carefully in order to 'get out'. I had to get out and away, and I wasn't sure I could . . . I just knew I had to - get away, escape, somehow. It was a gut reaction.
I did not understand it, I just knew it.
To this day, I ask myself, Why would they let me see that? What was the point?
Well, it saved me - decades.
It scared the living daylights out of me. Evil does that. I paid attention to that.
Everything else I know and think about scn comes from reading books of other people's experiences, all of which have reinforced my initial feelings when I witnessed the shaming and abuse of a person - who just took it, allowed it, succumbed to it, gave in to it. Huh?
My gut reaction was to run, to save my life. I didn't understand it - I just f'g did it. And then I spent years trying to understand what the hell happened there - and WHY?
That is why I am here (and American, BTW - ahem). That is WHY.
How do I explain that to an inquiry without sounding as whacky as the scn'ists beliefs? Gees, Sirs and Ladies, I had a gut reaction . . .
Offpoint, I happened to read an 'ex's' letter to someone, made public by the author's own snafu. It was a disgruntled ex, but a follower of tech, and it was bizarre. I could hardly make sense of it, talk of being a last lifer, and about humans, referring to them like they were insects, some sort of lower life form.
To me, just a regular human being/person, the author came off very 'alien' - non-human - and I don't mean that in a complimentary way. Ever see that TV movie series "V" (either one)? The lizard beings posing as human, in order to take over earth? Well, that is how this person came off to me, as a alien lizard being, in a human 'suit', intent on taking earth from the 'human' life forms living here. (Over my dead fucking body).
That any 'religion' or belief system could turn normal humans into 'that' - something reptilian - in their viewpoint on life - and on other humans - is pure evil to me. Their 'higher' self has been turned off, by scn, and the reptilian brain has taken dominence. Think about how reptiles live/survive, whether it be a snake, or a lizard - or a dinosaur - and there you have it. Survive, is the only rule. By any means. End justifies the means. In a reptile it is natural. In a human, it is sociopathic - It is Evil.
So how do I explain THAT to an Inquiry. I'd come off as a nutcase, and probably do more harm to your cause, than good. The Inquiry needs solid first hand information, stories - evidence- from exes, not opinions/feelings from outsiders.
Am I wrong in that, Carmel? If you think I am wrong, tell me - and tell me what I could give to the Inquiry that would not be a detriment.
But, I must say, I am SHOCKED, after all the stories I have read on this board, that more of you, with first hand knowledge and experience, who spent decades inside, were raised in scn, haven't done your Inquiry submission. I am SHOCKED.
I find it as unbelievable as Carmel. Is it fear? Tell us why you have not - while there is still time to deal with it, give support, and change minds.
Even mine . . .
Bueller, Ferris Bueller? Anyone?
I am being flippant, but this is not funny. This Inquiry is dead serious.
Search your conscience - Can you help, can your story help?