As suggested by Alanzo - My counseling sessions

FinallyFree

Gold Meritorious Patron
I'm hoping to get this done between January 25th and February 5th. Husband may be off to Belgium on January 18th and daughter is coming for a visit February 11th.

And if this surgery fixes my constant tiredness, it will be great to have this done before daughter visits, so I'm not napping the entire time she is here. LOL!!! Tho, she let me know today, that she's good with napping. LOL!!!

Kathy, my friend, I am sorry to hear this news.
 

Kathy (ImOut)

Gold Meritorious Patron
Thanks for the words of care.

I'm basically fine, other than not sleeping well, being tired all the time, no drive to do the basic chores and now the latest is weird pains in bones. I can be sitting at the computer and my foot will start to hurt. No, I wasn't sitting on my foot. It's just part of the symptoms - bone pain.

I'm just glad I went with my instincts and saw the endocrinologist. My Naturopathic wanted me to see a gastro doctor for my anemia (another issue that still needs to be addressed - but long standing issue for me).

I think I found out about this early, since a blood test from a little over a year ago did NOT indicate I had this problem of hyperparathyroidism.
 

Kathy (ImOut)

Gold Meritorious Patron
I get to see my counselor tomorrow for the first time in three long weeks. I should have scheduled a two hour app't just to fill her in on all that's been happening in the weeks that she's been away.

If my app't turns up anything of interest, I'll post. But it may just be catch up.
 

Kathy (ImOut)

Gold Meritorious Patron
It was just a catch up of all my medical stuff and what happened over the holidays. I hadn't seen her since December 16th. There was a lot to catch up on. LOL!!!
 

Kathy (ImOut)

Gold Meritorious Patron
I saw my counselor today.

We did a quick catch up on the various doctor appointments I had in a week. Yes, I had two.

Then we got into a review of the various things that counseling is supposed to improve. Some things I've gotten thru, some things need more work on. And we didn't finish the list. We'll finish it next week.
 

Good twin

Floater
Did you tell her that I missed her when she was on vacation? I'm feeling much better now.

Let me know if you need help working on stuff. I'm ready. :yes:
 

Kathy (ImOut)

Gold Meritorious Patron
Did you tell her that I missed her when she was on vacation? I'm feeling much better now.

Let me know if you need help working on stuff. I'm ready. :yes:


She said send her a check and she'll discuss with you, you missing her. LOL!!!

If I could remember the dang list and what I wasn't quite thru (over) with, I'd let you know. But I can't remember the list and what I'm not yet done on. LOL!!! Oh well.

But we did discuss PTSness and that crap today. And how I'm doing my best not going down that stupid ass road because I need surgery.

I wish we could just erase parts of our memories. LOL!!!
 

Kathy (ImOut)

Gold Meritorious Patron
Parathyroidectomy surgery

Yippee, I'm scheduled for my surgery on Monday, February 1st. I'm so glad this will be taken care of. I wanted it done before my daughter comes to visit on the 11th and it will be. :happydance:

Hopefully the tiredness will be all gone by the time my daughter comes, so I won't spend her visit sleeping. LOL!!! However, she did say, that "napping is good". Meaning, she wouldn't mind. But I'd rather spend actual time with her, rather than us both napping on the couch or our beds. LOL!!!

We have a spa day scheduled the day after she arrives. Facials, manicures and pedicures. That will be fun and relaxing and we'll be all "pretty". :happydance:
 

Dark Phoenix

Patron Meritorious
Yippee, I'm scheduled for my surgery on Monday, February 1st. I'm so glad this will be taken care of. I wanted it done before my daughter comes to visit on the 11th and it will be. :happydance:

Hopefully the tiredness will be all gone by the time my daughter comes, so I won't spend her visit sleeping. LOL!!! However, she did say, that "napping is good". Meaning, she wouldn't mind. But I'd rather spend actual time with her, rather than us both napping on the couch or our beds. LOL!!!

We have a spa day scheduled the day after she arrives. Facials, manicures and pedicures. That will be fun and relaxing and we'll be all "pretty". :happydance:

This is great news, Kathy. The waiting is at least finally over.:happydance:

The timing is just perfect in terms of getting to spend time with your daughter. And I reckon a day at the spa is just the treat you need.

Things can only keep getting better now.

Here's wishing you a successful surgery and a speedy recovery.

:bighug:
 

Kathy (ImOut)

Gold Meritorious Patron
This is great news, Kathy. The waiting is at least finally over.:happydance:

The timing is just perfect in terms of getting to spend time with your daughter. And I reckon a day at the spa is just the treat you need.

Things can only keep getting better now.

Here's wishing you a successful surgery and a speedy recovery.

:bighug:

Thanks, DP. Technically, I'll be recovered enough 2 hours after the surgery. I believe I can go back to my normal routine the next day. But I haven't seen the post-op instructions yet.

The facial will be awesome. I had a 15 minute facial a couple of weeks ago and I didn't realize how tense my face was/is. All this concentration affects my face. LOL!!!

Good news from my counselor today. We only have a few more "issues" to work on. :happydance: That whole all or nothing (no gray areas), as in I need to get back to the gray areas. I used to be so good at seeing all the different options. And a couple other points I'm not quite complete on.

In less than a year, I've gotten thru so, so, so much with counseling. It's GREAT!!!! :happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance:
 

Good twin

Floater
I'm so happy Kat. You really have come a long way Baby! I'll be there to hold your hand or run out to get ice cream or whatever. The spa day with Yen sounds yummy.
 

Dark Phoenix

Patron Meritorious
Thanks, DP. Technically, I'll be recovered enough 2 hours after the surgery. I believe I can go back to my normal routine the next day. But I haven't seen the post-op instructions yet.

The facial will be awesome. I had a 15 minute facial a couple of weeks ago and I didn't realize how tense my face was/is. All this concentration affects my face. LOL!!!

Good news from my counselor today. We only have a few more "issues" to work on. :happydance: That whole all or nothing (no gray areas), as in I need to get back to the gray areas. I used to be so good at seeing all the different options. And a couple other points I'm not quite complete on.

In less than a year, I've gotten thru so, so, so much with counseling. It's GREAT!!!! :happydance::happydance::happydance::happydance:

Very well done on the progress you've made with the counselling. It is indeed very rewarding when we commit to it.

I too have struggled with the all-or-nothing way of thinking. The way I came to understand it was in terms of survival.

When people are traumatized, they rely on primitive survival strategies. Fight, flight and freeze are survival mechanisms. They allow us to get through a situation alive, but they do nothing to help us resolve or integrate. They are designed simply to help us cope with danger or acute stress.

Often, survivors of traumatic childhoods don't understand what compromise feels like; they experience it as a loss of self because they haven't learned how to stay connected with another person or situation while maintaining a sense of self. I would tend to react rather than listen, and withdraw or fuse rather than engage. I shut off the part of myself that interprets on a feeling level, and my interaction was based not on what I felt and sensed but on what I thought. I lost my ability to pick up and interpret the subtle cues that would help me read the dynamics in a relationship and adjust myself. Instead I would overreact to signals, reading into them more than is there. So for me, this all-or-nothing relational pattern was a direct result of shutting down the nonsurvival systems such as emotions.

I also had to accept that this type of thinking helped me to deal with my fear of facing the complexities inherent in life. Complexity introduces unpredictability and uncertainty and this can threaten our need to always feel in control. It also allowed me to avoid the discomfort of having both loving and hateful feelings for the same person.

Of course the good news is that we can ‘unlearn’ such thinking patterns.
We can learn how to challenge thinking errors and develop a strategies for making helpful thinking choices. Becoming truly aware of our thinking patterns and they affect our behavior was a good starting point for me. When confronted with apparent contradictions or conflict, I would consciously make the effort to try dialectical thinking. And over time my thinking became much more flexible.
 

Kathy (ImOut)

Gold Meritorious Patron
DP,

I got the all or nothing think from Scn. As a Scn, you've got to fit in the box. You can't look at the different options/viewpoints, because then you are questioning LRH/Tech/Management (in my experience).

I related a story from high school to my counselor of how I was so good at seeing all the various options/viewpoints and she asked point blank "what happened to it?". She even thought it was from childhood (I believe). And then I blurted out Scn.

My counseling has been amazing. And the "speed" of getting thru my issues is amazing to me. After 19 years in Scn and 21 years of my mother, I thought for sure it would take me at least 5 years to get thru all the shit. But nope, the method of counseling I am getting is thorough but quick. Or at least it's been quick for me. But at 47 I don't feel I have a lot of time to waste. LOL!!! I'd like my next X years to be enjoyable/pleasant/worth living.

Between getting my body situations handled and my counseling, it feels like by the time I hit my 48th year, LIFE WILL BE GOOD, for the first time. :happydance:
 

Kathy (ImOut)

Gold Meritorious Patron

Thanks, DP!!

Truly, the cheers and dancing, means a lot to me.

19 years wasted in/with Scn = god only knows how much money. A fuck of a lot for nothing gained!

One year with a counselor = priceless :happydance::happydance:

Going with Western medicine = insurance has to pay for it. LOL!!! And I finally have solutions!


Latest news on the health front: not having a hysterectomy. Having a different type of procedure which should produce the same results, but leave my uterus in place. And since my gyno put me on iron on the 12th of January, my iron count is up 1.5 points. I'm now at 11.7. The highest I've been in 34 years. :happydance: I'm still below normal, but not by much anymore!!!
 

Kutta

Silver Meritorious Patron
Latest news on the health front: not having a hysterectomy. Having a different type of procedure which should produce the same results, but leave my uterus in place. And since my gyno put me on iron on the 12th of January, my iron count is up 1.5 points. I'm now at 11.7. The highest I've been in 34 years. I'm still below normal, but not by much anymore!!!

That's fantastic Kathy. Are you noticing a difference in your wellbeing with the iron coming up? Good luck for the surgery. Looks like everything is looking up for you these days!!!
 

Kathy (ImOut)

Gold Meritorious Patron
That's fantastic Kathy. Are you noticing a difference in your wellbeing with the iron coming up? Good luck for the surgery. Looks like everything is looking up for you these days!!!

Kutta,

I haven't been taking my daily naps. That's a huge plus. I'm still feeling the symptoms of hypERparathyroidism - basically no interest in things - such as chores. I hope that will be handled shortly after the parathyroidectomy.

Yes, lots is looking up! Mental and physical health issues are all being addressed and taken care of. Yippee!!!!
:happydance::happydance::happydance:
 

Kathy (ImOut)

Gold Meritorious Patron
Latest about my counseling and what all

Had a great appointment today. I swear, even tho I see my counselor weekly, it feels like two weeks, since I've been cramming so much into each week. LOL!!!

We discussed my "defense mechanism" today. The data comes from Enneagram.

Anyway, I'm mostly fixed on that too. I can now causatively act out from my defense mechanism, since I'm aware of how it manifests. :happydance:

After February we'll probably start meeting only every two weeks. She suggested it now, but I have too much going on - not my mental issues, my health. LOL!!!


On to my health issues.
I'm having the parathyroidectomy on Monday, Feb. 1st. I get to see Good Twin and maybe she'll show me her boobs. LOL!!! (See another thread for that reference.)

I'm having the female procedure done on Tuesday, Feb. 16th.

I hope to get back to meeting my personal trainer by early March. Yippee!!! I've been missing my workouts.


The most exciting news.
My daughter is coming for a visit Feb. 11 - 15. It's been over a year since I've seen her. Far too long! Hubby will be in Belgium which means I get to have some serious one-on-one time with Snookie (her nickname since she popped her head out of my vajayjay). We will spend Friday at the spa getting facials, manicures and pedicures. The rest of the weekend we'll do what ever we feel like. Could be some serious movie time. LOL!!! A lot depends on the weather - we both hate it when it's freezing ass cold (as my daughter calls it).

February is going to be busy the first three weeks. But then I get my health back and can start doing fun stuff again. Such as gardening, or at least prep'ing the garden for planting. I'm also going to probably add kick boxing to my exercise schedule. I hear it's really fun and an excellent workout.
 
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