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be gentle it's my first time

Adam7986

Declared SP
The ultimate sacrifice, giving up one's child for the child's best interests - that is what Scientology teaches parents. :angry:

Except that they gave me up for their own interests (twice once to the Sea Org and when they threw me out), as all Scientologists are apt to do when presented with the opportunity.
 

SPsince83

Gold Meritorious Patron
It's absolutely their fault. Getting my family involved in the cult in the first place is their fault. After the things they have said and done to me, they will be lucky if I look at them through the peephole. I don't feel any obligation to forgive them and if they ever want it then they will have to earn it from me--something that will probably never happen.

Yeah, bro, I get it. I wish none of this shit happened to anyone. What are you doing these days? I hope you occupy at least some of your time with positive stuff that makes you feel better. Whatever it is I wish you all the best.
 

Adam7986

Declared SP
Yeah, bro, I get it. I wish none of this shit happened to anyone. What are you doing these days? I hope you occupy at least some of your time with positive stuff that makes you feel better. Whatever it is I wish you all the best.

Thanks! Yeah of course. I am surrounded by people that I love. Somehow I managed to build myself a non-blood family outside of my cult-involved family. I moved to Texas for a while recently to reconnect with my cousins and all that. They have nothing to do with Scientology at all. Thankfully, and by the grace of God I managed to get my story out there and reach out to them before my sister arrived on a mission to discredit me and disconnect me from them. I had no idea she was going to be there only a week after I arrived and no one wanted to tell me because they didn't want to worry me. I am traveling to see them in a couple of weeks. We are all really close now and hoping that my brother and sister eventually leave the cult. No one, and least of all me, is anxious to see my mom or dad again though. They put my aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents through hell when they got involved with the cult.

My life has done nothing but get better since I left Scientology. Even if I lost everything and became homeless it would still be better than Scientology. I swore to myself back when I was in the deepest and darkest part of my depression that I would leave Scientology even if I was left homeless and alone, and that I would die before I ever called myself a Scientologist again. It's a promise I intend to keep.

Hope you've had a similar experience as far as your life getting better since leaving.

[Also sorry I went back and edited my post to add some more after you had seen it as I am sure you will notice. I should've just made a new one. :duh:]
 

SPsince83

Gold Meritorious Patron
The only problem was I didn't have the 50 bucks. So my Div 6 cutie pie drove me to my mom's house to borrow the money. That went easily enough and I paid for the course. So onto the comm course the next day.

The comm course was the most bang for the buck. It did raise my ability to deal with customers and I started making more money. During the course, I was pulled out to be regged (of course I didn't understand this at the time, I thought they were just pleased with my success from the course and wanted to help me even more)
The first meeting was with this woman who looked for all the world like a diesel dyke (found out later I was right. She had done lower conditions at least once for homosexual activity). She had a vicious looking Doberman in the room who growled at me the whole time. I was so freaked that the interview was impossible. I couldn't wait to get out of the room. The next time was with this guy who started out insisting scn was the only thing that worked. We got into an argument about that and I left the room unregged again.

I should inject some deep background here. I come from a highly educated, professional/scholar class family. Generations of doctors and lawyers and educators and such. My father was an anesthesiologist and my mother had a master's in marriage and family counselling, which was essentially a clinical psychology field. Both my parents were heavily involved in Transactional Analysis, which was a very popular talk therapy modality in the sixties and seventies. This all came about because I had been so unhappy in Sac after moving there from an east coast beach town that I had taken all the petty cash in the house, thrown some clothes into one of the family cars and headed into the rising moon. The end result from this was that my folks went shopping for shrinks. The one we found was supposed to be good with teenagers. He suggested hospitalization for me. So I voluntarily go to a private facility (which was the top 2 floors of a regular hospital rather than some shady acres retreat). Fortunately we had money and insurance so I didn't have to go to state mental health under Reagan who was busy dismantling California's mental health system. Details of this period aren't important here, but a few cogent points: because of my medical family, I had learned quite a lot about various drugs. I'm no psychopharmacologist, but for a layman I know quite a bit. I was very anti-drug at the time and told the shrink I wouldn't take them. He was ok with that and we just did individual and group talk therapy. Many if not most of my fellow nutcases were on benzos or barbiturates or hypnotics or soporifics or something. These people were often walking zombies. Second, this facility had a shock treatment room. I saw people both before and after courses of treatment. Frankly it was pretty scary. The upshot of all this is that the anti psych stuff, cchr and the like were right in my wheelhouse and helped pin me to the cult for years. I personally took no psych drugs nor had shock treatment.

So, finally, my cutie-pie public reg became a body reg and she was successful. Since I had been making more money, I had some and bought Student Hat, HSDC and a Mark V. All tolled was about $1000! Hard to believe how inexpensive it was back in '75. My plan was to do the training route and co-audit. Student Hat went great and I was making even more money and was digging it all. We were young and vigorous and becoming more dedicated. This was COSMOD, remember. Outside the Sea Org, we were the elite of scn. We were the shit and we knew it and so did everyone else in scn. We were and still are the only mission known widely by its acronym. I finished SH and onto HSDC. Still winning big.

And now begins the trouble. I got regged again after a couple weeks on HSDC. This started out great. I was going to buy 100 hrs of auditing. I didn't have the whole $3500 ($3500! you couldn't buy one intensive for that today, much less 8!) so I again asked my mother who wrote a check. YAY.

However, as I said, my mom was a professional clinical psychologist. She discussed it with colleagues and decided to cancel the check. Guess what followed!

So now I'm PTS. Off HSDC. No longer winning. THEY said it was my mother's counter intention. I say in retrospect it was theirs. Of course 20/20 retrospect says I wish I had just walked away. After handlings and petitions I wound up having to go on staff at Delphi to get away from my mother (not a formal disconnection, just distance. She had already agreed to not stand in my way in scn.)

Sorry this is taking so long, but the entire story raises much emotion and I can only post in installments.

to be continued........
 

Adam7986

Declared SP
Sorry this is taking so long, but the entire story raises much emotion and I can only post in installments.

Believe me, we have all been there. It's taken a lot of bravery and perseverance for each and every ex-Scientologist here to share their respective stories, you included, and each new story makes it easier for the ones that come after. It took me weeks to share mine. I had saved it in notepad and kept going back to it again, and again. Until I finally clicked the post button. I was so emotional that even after reading it 20 times I still made 100 typos. It's a nerve-racking experience.
 
Welcome!
The problem is that O'teas can't just say "Let's there be light" and get a result. They go all the way to the end of the bridge and just find out that they know who they are not. Making things happen by postulates, etc. Well It would have been better if you had bought a house some where, an Aston Martin to brag in country roads in Northern England, full education to your kids and romantic trips to Venice with your wife. :biggrin:
 

Smurf

Gold Meritorious SP
It's absolutely their fault. Getting my family involved in the cult in the first place is their fault. After the things they have said and done to me, they will be lucky if I look at them through the peephole. I don't feel any obligation to forgive them and if they ever want it then they will have to earn it from me--something that will probably never happen.

Chill dude. It's not entirely their fault. You are really close to getting the big one.

spanking1sm-785006.jpg
 

Robot Phil

Patron
Yeah, I'm not even buying that "spiritually healthy, oops I'm dead" bullshit. DMSMH says auditing increases longevity. Her parents out-lived her. I am 100% certain that her cancer was treatable if she had seen a real doctor.

I just had a friend in Scientology pass away last month from Gastric Distress (Not making this up). I can't help but suspect that if he went to a hospital before it involved his death bed he would still be with us (And not just because he only died a month ago).
 

Udarnik

Gold Meritorious Patron
I just had a friend in Scientology pass away last month from Gastric Distress (Not making this up). I can't help but suspect that if he went to a hospital before it involved his death bed he would still be with us (And not just because he only died a month ago).

Diverticulitis. If untreated, it can be fatal.
 
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