I was just going thru the motions from 1979. Got ethics thrown at me in Spring of 1980, just stayed away until invited back with ethics crap lifted, but was definitely still bummed out and stayed away as much as possible. In late 1981 I was told that I was more "org public" and didn't need to be onlines at the mission. Fine. I got a job offer in California and was leaving the area anyways, but I still kept in touch with folk in Connecticut. Those were the days of the mission holder's conferences at the Flagging Clam Base. Brown McKee was one of the main movers and shakers to try to get grievances resolved, but by that time, the Miscavige power play was in motion. I was in California in December 81 when Brown went to Florida a second time. In early January of 1982 I got word that Brown was declared and he formed a splinter group. I gave it 6 months to fold, it took 3. I figured that something must be seriously wrong with the Cof$ for a guy like Brown McKee to split and/or be declared, he was no raving psychotic by any means. So I figured I would sit on the sidelines.
By Spring of 1983, realities of the WOG world were beginning to sink in to me, and, I started to figure out that I wasn't going back to Scientology ... too expensive, too much time, too much of a drag, too much of a bore. Eventually someone passed a joint my way and I took a few hits. I was pretty sure I was done with it at that point, just figuring that it was simply too difficult for me.
But the very final vestige ... the thing about being truely out as opposed to merely away ... when I read the Bent Corydon book in 1989. My heart was beating rapidly as I started reading the Xenu story, wondering what would happen. I nearly did die ... of laughter, that is. The spell was finally broken.
Pete