Born again?

[Carmel]

I have this subject rolling around in my head for a while. I guess it's just more of the redefining myself topic. I figured since the noise in my head keeps repeating itself, it's time to throw it out there and get some feedback.

I've been wondering why losing my religion feels so good. I mean I know it's a freedom and even though I was unaware of the oppression, it was there. But there is an almost euphoric feeling about life without my former belief system. It's like a "born again" condition. It's reconnecting with people I lost and feelings I used to have and becoming my old self again.

I admire people who have faith and some sort of belief system, but having none is quite amazing. I was wondering if I am a born again atheist. But that doesn't describe me or what I am feeling. It's more like I am a spiritual virgin again after being a spiritual slut. (I'm not trying to be funny - I'm really trying to work this out)

So....it doesn't feel like I lost something, but what exactly have I gained? That's what I have a hard time defining. I honestly feel like I gained much of what I thought the Scientology bridge was leading to. By leaving the church I regained my power of choice. I regained my self determinism. I regained my self respect. I regained my love of my fellow man. All of this is of course a work in progress, but I am well on my way. It's miraculous. Truly.

Yep, "born again", and as ya say "It's miraculous, Truly".

I think of a bunch of little boys let loose in new territory. The world is their oyster, and everything and anything is there for the taking....no fears, no restrictions, a keen enthusiasm, and the freedom to just 'play'.

The world is your oyster again, and this time, after being denied it for so long, you have so much more reason to enjoy it. I don't know how ya define it, but I think I know exactly what you're talking about - Beautiful, GT.

 

[Good twin]

Brian..it's okay. It's all just part of life. I am, learning to experience the flow of life without having clearcut explanations. No PTS interview no quad ruds and overts. No why finding or lower conditions. Just such is life and emotion is part of that. I hit the dog with my car. I didn't mean to. No one blames me. We are all sad, but no love is lost. It's not a bad thing. It's just real life.

Carmel I have no doubt that you completely understand. Somehow we are all completely naked on this message board. I am finally at home. You are my brothers and sisters. This is love.

 

[Mystic]

Joyous Love!

 

[Carnivale]

I have this subject rolling around in my head for a while. I guess it's just more of the redefining myself topic. I figured since the noise in my head keeps repeating itself, it's time to throw it out there and get some feedback.

I've been wondering why losing my religion feels so good. I mean I know it's a freedom and even though I was unaware of the oppression, it was there. But there is an almost euphoric feeling about life without my former belief system. It's like a "born again" condition. It's reconnecting with people I lost and feelings I used to have and becoming my old self again.

I admire people who have faith and some sort of belief system, but having none is quite amazing. I was wondering if I am a born again atheist. But that doesn't describe me or what I am feeling. It's more like I am a spiritual virgin again after being a spiritual slut. (I'm not trying to be funny - I'm really trying to work this out)

So....it doesn't feel like I lost something, but what exactly have I gained? That's what I have a hard time defining. I honestly feel like I gained much of what I thought the Scientology bridge was leading to. By leaving the church I regained my power of choice. I regained my self determinism. I regained my self respect. I regained my love of my fellow man. All of this is of course a work in progress, but I am well on my way. It's miraculous. Truly.

For me, when I made the decision to actually call myself an atheist (while in reality, I was one for a few years...but had the same negative connotations to the word that many others have)...it wasn't so much a born again feeling...but more like a huge weight was removed from me. For so long, I had try to make what I was told was true via religion match with what my own research and mind told me was so. When there is conflict, it is like making a square peg fit in a round hole.

I don't have to waste my time with that anymore, and feel fine with answering something with "I don't know". I am allowed to not have to live by ready-made answers that don't work for me.

 

[Feral]

Sorry about the dog Good Twin. I always feel awful when I harm an animal in my care, even if it's not my fault.

That kinda thing happens a lot on a farm with over three thousand animals. Last week I left a gate open and the horses got into cattle feed that had some urea in it, I had quite a panic for a while.

I felt like crap as the old horse has been claimed by Courtney. Luckily, they were fine, but it was through no quality of mine.

 

[_brian]

Sweet GT.

 

[MrNobody]

For me, when I made the decision to actually call myself an atheist (while in reality, I was one for a few years...but had the same negative connotations to the word that many others have)...it wasn't so much a born again feeling...but more like a huge weight was removed from me. For so long, I had try to make what I was told was true via religion match with what my own research and mind told me was so. When there is conflict, it is like making a square peg fit in a round hole.

I don't have to waste my time with that anymore, and feel fine with answering something with "I don't know". I am allowed to not have to live by ready-made answers that don't work for me.

I don't know why so many people need to put the weight of a belief system upon their shoulders. The world works perfectly fine without one. This is one of my favorite quotes:

The question of whether there is a God
(B. Brecht)

A man asked Mr. K. whether there is a God. Mr. K. said: "I advise you to consider whether, depending on the answer, your behavior would change. If it would not change, then we can drop the question. If it would change, then I can at least be of help to the extent that I can say, you have already decided: you need a God."

 

[TalleyWhacker]

You regained your future and the feeling that you are in control of it. Now it's just up to you to create it.

One thing LRH did say on the Route to Infinity tapes that I thought was accurate and insightful:
The psychotic lives entirely in the past, the neurotic entirely in the present and the sane man lives in the future....he's way out there in front of present time.
Things just haven't caught up to him yet.
And they never will to people like that.
True enough, I think. But isn't it funny that with all the gyrations, emergencies and such that the C of $ lays on you, that they are the ones cramming you into a neurotic state of mind? Then if they have their way, you're packing a ton of debt which causes you to try to "hold" time from happening. IE that you want to delay debt payment day as long as you can; you're trying to forcefully hold yourself in present time.
Makes for a pretty poopy state of mind!
So here's to your future!

 

[Boojuum]

Ditching Religion Feels so Good

GT

I understand too well. I've done it with another religion in addition to ScioWorld and the mechanism was similar.

Why do you feel good when you leave a religion?

I think it's because we become open to additional solutions.

I got stuck into CoS because because it offered so many explanations for lots of things that I was baffled about. After a while, the COS wasn't helping and I was stuck trying to solve the mysteries of life with incorrect premises (taking the following as absolute truths: tone scale, conditions, O/W tech, the problem is always me, etc.). It's like my brain had become 2 dimensional and I was operating in a 3 dimensional world. Once I saw the 3rd dimension (COS data was not always true), THEN I was free to see new solutions.

I think a person is always trying to make sense of life. To solve life for yourself, you really need to be able to form your own opinions and it's a lot harder to form your own opinion than simply except a plausible opinion from a good source.

 

[Carnivale]

I don't know why so many people need to put the weight of a belief system upon their shoulders. The world works perfectly fine without one.

I never "decided" to put the weight on my shoulders...I was raised with religion.
And left after I was old enough to see things for myself.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Born Again, Indeed!

Brilliant Post GT!

How does it feel to be born again after Scientology?

It happened to me like this.

(getting born into Scn) I was told I could be saved from the human condition. Guaranteed!

But first I would have to have all my sins washed away and be BAPTIZED in the holy water by the smiling priest.

I was held underwater while praying.

It began to feel uncomfortable as I ran out of air.

The priest prayed with me. Only then was I was told of God's plan for me. That I was to be RE-BORN in the Church's holy ocean. Because I was never to come up again! I must learn to breathe under water! A new creature of God. Homo Fishus!

Some people can hold their breath longer than others. I noticed that some being baptized were weak of faith and surfaced. A betrayal of God's offer of salvation! I would never succumb to such abominable human frailties!

My body and mind began to revolt...surely the work of demons made me suck for air, my lungs gulping a burning dose of water within. I clamped trembling hands across my nose and mouth to stay the evil impulse to breathe.

Others, unable to stop their demons, inhaled lethal doses of the ocean, but priests with dedicated glares helped them by forcefully holding them under, preferring them dead rather than incapable of breathing underwater.

In total madness, I broke to the surface and sucked in the suppressive oxygen. Again and again, I committed this crime of unspeakable evil.

I was born again (out of Scn).

How did it feel?

Like being alive!

(ps: And, no, nobody achieved the amphibious evolutionary state, although some are still submerged, holding their breaths and praying....I mean postulating. Nobody made it to Homo Fishus yet, but the most able of those still under have achieved Homo Vicious)

 

[MrNobody]

I never "decided" to put the weight on my shoulders...I was raised with religion.
And left after I was old enough to see things for myself.

This sounds a little... how can I say... defensive? I used your posting as a kind of "hook" to get my message across - to all interested readers, not just you. I didn't want to abuse it. If I came off that way, I sincerely apologize.

If you grew up in a religious family, you probably didn't even have a chance to decide, until later in life - which was when you did decide.

However, more per PM if you want to, I've messed up this thread enough already.
(Why can't I realize that before I make a post? :selfslap: )

 

[Megalomaniac]

I am totally naked and I can't imagine why anyone would even begin to suggest that I put on any type of clothing.

I can see your spiritual belly button.

 

[Good twin]

I can see your spiritual belly button.

 

[Tiger Lily]

GT I just got to this thread.

I loved your OP. I have had similar realizations and you said it beautifully. For me it came after realizing how wrong I had been as a true believer in Scientology, even though I thought I was right, and the realization that it's OK to not "know". From there on I know that I will never be a "true believer" anywhere again. It is very freeing, but I want to thank you for you joyful expression of that. When I read your post I realized that I was still a little too serious about the whole "I have been humbled but now I'm wiser" idea.

Your post showed me it was OK to be joyful about no longer having the chains and the weight of being a "follower" of something.

Thank you !!

-TL