Can someone help with my relationship issues please? Sci/Non Sci breakup

[Terril park]

Hi So Confused,
Being a romantic at heart I'd personally keep
trying to be with the girl I love. That may not be the wisest or
best plan for all situations and people but would be my plan.

I was 25 years in the Church until 1991 and am still an
independent scientologist.

I don't think it has to be a problem having a partner with
different beliefs. My wife is a very dedicated catholic and is
several times a week going to prayer meetings, church etc.
This causes no problems at all.

Now as an independent or Freezone scientologist I'm not subject
to the pressures that one would be subject to in CO$. Ironic,
they make one study how to "shatter suppression" and also
that scientologists have to watch out for those they call
suppressive persons. That would include anyone who is critical
of anything about Scientology or the organisation. That's most
of the known world! Its very possible that she has been worked
over on these points, and any communication that she knows
someone critical would be a red flag. She would also be under
pressure to donate money for the "War Chest".

So it would be wise to not be critical. This gives an opportunity
to those in CO$ to put pressure on her and they would be unlikely
to not do so. So just be there for her.

I'll give a real life example a guy got in touch with me and was
pissed off by being made to do multiple PTS/SP courses
[Potential Trouble Source which is connected to an SP Suppressive
person] The reason was he and his brother liked to watch football on
TV on saturdays, and his brother didn't like Scn.

 

[Knows]

Hi So Confused,
Being a romantic at heart I'd personally keep
trying to be with the girl I love. That may not be the wisest or
best plan for all situations and people but would be my plan.

I was 25 years in the Church until 1991 and am still an
independent scientologist.

I don't think it has to be a problem having a partner with
different beliefs. My wife is a very dedicated catholic and is
several times a week going to prayer meetings, church etc.
This causes no problems at all.

Now as an independent or Freezone scientologist I'm not subject
to the pressures that one would be subject to in CO$. Ironic,
they make one study how to "shatter suppression" and also
that non scientologists have to watch out for those they call
suppressive persons. That would include anyone who is critical
of anything about Scientology or the organisation. That's most
of the known world! Its very possible that she has been worked
over on these points, and any communication that she knows
someone critical would be a red flag. She would also be under
pressure to donate money for the "War Chest".

So it would be wise to not be critical. This gives an opportunity
to those in CO$ to put pressure on her and they would be unlikely
to not do so. So just be there for her.

I'll give a real life example a guy got in touch with me and was
pissed off by being made to do multiple PTS/SP courses
[Potential Trouble Source which is connected to an SP Suppressive
person] The reason was he and his brother liked to watch football on
TV on saturdays, and his brother didn't like Scn.

OMG

I would not take this man's advice.

IF she is connected to the $cientology Organization - you are in danger.

You are in love with someone who will destroy your life if she gets reeled into $cientology! Just read the horror stories.

I met people that were lurking...not doing any services for YEARS. They lose a mother, a father, a kid - or job, home etc...and they reach for help - $cientology will devour them and leave them for dead...quickly or slowly.

I know of a guy who recently got reeled into the cult of Scientology through WISE and he is now divorced and completely BROKE .

When he first got in a few years ago - the wifey told me she was not too concerned because they had no money...

1 year later and she called me to tell me he went into debt $200K and divorced her cuz she did not want him in Scientology

Her life is ruined and he is all messed up - reeling from the mind fuck of Scientology. Went up the Bridge to nowhere and is alone and hurting and she does not want him back.

Dump the gal and move on with your life.

I promise you - you will regret it if you don't.

You are in love with an attractive woman who can be replaced - there are tons of good looking people in the world...8 billion human beings and 7.999999999999999999 are NOT Scientologists.

Move on friend.

Study up on the devastation of cult members. Just sayin...

If you stay with her - just know you are in grave danger!

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

..

Well, I guess I could lie and give a pep talk.

Or I can just speak honestly.

Let's try the latter.

This is a very rough situation, that much is obvious.

But, what is SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPENING NOW is the blissful early stages of love, passion and a blossoming relationship. You have already entered the ugly zone of relationships when it should be pure and fun and beautiful. What does this tell you? What does it forecast for the future?

The problem here with dating a hot girl with psychological issues is that you are not dating a hot girl with psychological issues. You are dating a dating an ugly cult with sociopathic issues. You can't just date her, the whole freakin' cult is along for the ride.

Consider all of her fanatical, delusional and lying Scientology friends/family as 24/7 chaperones.

Scientologists do not believe that YOU have the right to decide about your own life and relationships. They will tend to leave you alone if you don't express disagreement with them. But you are already evidencing the kind of integrity (e.g. speaking your mind) that the cult absolutely hates and will do virtually ANYTHING to stop or destroy such a free individual--if they think they can get away with it.

If you want to take this beautiful girl on as a "PROJECT", know that the odds of success are not great. Also know that you have a "PROJECT", you don't have a relationship. And you never will have one with a Scientologist until they break away and can think and act for themselves.

Scientology believes that they OWN her life, her money and her relationships. They will quickly withdraw their "permission" once you step out of line and disagree with them or with Hubbard.

I have many stories but I can't tell them here. I wouldn't want to hurt the people I would be talking about. But, I have see this kind of thing up close before. I have warned someone very close to me about avoiding a relationship with a very well known Scientologist. They reacted as if I was some disgusting scum that was trying to ruin their lives. They thought I was extremely stupid. They married the person.

Well, it took more than a decade, but the end result was that the person I warned ended up with a life in ruins. I can't give the particulars. But under the worst conditions you can possibly imagine, they were brutally abandoned financially and in many other devastating ways I am not at liberty to describe.

If you are connected to a person who is in the gravitational orbit of Scientology (socially, personally, financially, emotionally or otherwise), then YOU have also been pulled within the same gravitational forces.

What this means is that you can not only lose the girl, you can also lose yourself.

You need a girl who thinks and acts for herself. Otherwise how are you ever going to live with her, or have any semblance of a relationship?

 

[Knows]

..

Well, I guess I could lie and give a pep talk.

Or I can just speak honestly.

Let's try the latter.

This is a very rough situation, that much is obvious.

But, what is SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPENING NOW is the blissful early stages of love, passion and a blossoming relationship. You have already entered the ugly zone of relationships when it should be pure and fun and beautiful. What does this tell you? What does it forecast for the future?

The problem here with dating a hot girl with psychological issues is that you are not dating a hot girl with psychological issues. You are dating a dating an ugly cult with sociopathic issues. You can't just date her, the whole freakin' cult is along for the ride.

Consider all of her fanatical, delusional and lying Scientology friends/family as 24/7 chaperones.

Scientologists do not believe that YOU have the right to decide about your own life and relationships. They will tend to leave you alone if you don't express disagreement with them. But you are already evidencing the kind of integrity (e.g. speaking your mind) that the cult absolutely hates and will do virtually ANYTHING to stop or destroy such a free individual--if they think they can get away with it.

If you want to take this beautiful girl on as a "PROJECT", know that the odds of success are not great. Also know that you have a "PROJECT", you don't have a relationship. And you never will have one with a Scientologist until they break away and can think and act for themselves.

Scientology believes that they OWN her life, her money and her relationships. They will quickly withdraw their "permission" once you step out of line and disagree with them or with Hubbard.

I have many stories but I can't tell them here. I wouldn't want to hurt the people I would be talking about. But, I have see this kind of thing up close before. I have warned someone very close to me about avoiding a relationship with a very well known Scientologist. They reacted as if I was some disgusting scum that was trying to ruin their lives. They thought I was extremely stupid. They married the person.

Well, it took more than a decade, but the end result was that the person I warned ended up with a life in ruins. I can't give the particulars. But under the worst conditions you can possibly imagine, they were brutally abandoned financially and in many other devastating ways I am not at liberty to describe.

If you are connected to a person who is in the gravitational orbit of Scientology (socially, personally, financially, emotionally or otherwise), then YOU have also been pulled within the same gravitational forces.

What this means is that you can not only lose the girl, you can also lose yourself.

You need a girl who thinks and acts for herself. Otherwise how are you ever going to live with her, or have any semblance of a relationship?

The problem here with dating a hot girl with psychological issues is that you are not dating a hot girl with psychological issues. You are dating a dating an ugly cult with sociopathic issues.



RUN AWAY!

 

[George Layton]

Hi So Confused,
Being a romantic at heart I'd personally keep
trying to be with the girl I love. That may not be the wisest or
best plan for all situations and people but would be my plan.

I was 25 years in the Church until 1991 and am still an
independent scientologist.

I don't think it has to be a problem having a partner with
different beliefs. My wife is a very dedicated catholic and is
several times a week going to prayer meetings, church etc.
This causes no problems at all.

Now as an independent or Freezone scientologist I'm not subject
to the pressures that one would be subject to in CO$. Ironic,
they make one study how to "shatter suppression" and also
that non scientologists have to watch out for those they call
suppressive persons. That would include anyone who is critical
of anything about Scientology or the organisation. That's most
of the known world! Its very possible that she has been worked
over on these points, and any communication that she knows
someone critical would be a red flag. She would also be under
pressure to donate money for the "War Chest".

So it would be wise to not be critical. This gives an opportunity
to those in CO$ to put pressure on her and they would be unlikely
to not do so. So just be there for her.

I'll give a real life example a guy got in touch with me and was
pissed off by being made to do multiple PTS/SP courses
[Potential Trouble Source which is connected to an SP Suppressive
person] The reason was he and his brother liked to watch football on
TV on saturdays, and his brother didn't like Scn.

Brilliant! Get her involved in the FreeZone, that way she can delve deeply into the hubbardian delusional system and piss off her friends and family so they will all disconnect from her. Best of both worlds.

 

[TheOriginalBigBlue]

Welcome to EXSMB

I am sorry you fell in love with a Scientologist

You need to disconnect from her and never look back

You would be better off with a heroin addict - truly!

You would suffer less. Scientology is multi faceted mind fucking

Scientology fucks with people's beliefs and their ability to make good, sound decisions.

She will be a huge liability and it won't work ever

Walk away - cut your losses and grieve the pain of the loss and be gentle with yourself while healing from the loss

Scientology KILLS and it is dangerous and unhealthy

What happens is people who don't go all the way down the rabbit hole and confront the truth about Scientology - that it is a cruel and inhumane con job of EPIC proportions....they will be like a fly in a poisonous spider web just waiting for the day they get vulnerable with loss and pain....then $ciendollatry will $ell them the $olution and bankrupt them, mind fuck their stable beliefs etc...and shatter their lives. THAT IS A PROMISE.

Sooner or later - everyone gets hurt in Scientology!! EVERYONE!!

RUN AWAY...and never look back.

I rarely disagree with you Knows but on this I think there needs to be some balance. In general I do think this statement is correct in that the relationship is front loaded with problems, but we don't know the people involved. Maybe she is on a trajectory out and he cares enough about her to deal with the baggage. In this case, the thing to do is get educated about what one is getting themselves into as much as possible. I'd like very much to see a good guy help a basically decent woman get out of Scientology and create her own family. But right there, "getting out" means that he is going in with a potentially conflicting agenda. She needs to want it - and it still won't be easy.

Having said that, I've been in several very deep Scientology relationships and I'm sworn off now. I also went with a very lovely woman who, when I came out of the closet as a Scientologist, dumped me like a carton of bad milk. I was really bummed at the time but looking back now I highly respect her for it.

 

[Knows]

I rarely disagree with you Knows but on this I think there needs to be some balance. In general I do think this statement is correct in that the relationship is front loaded with problems, but we don't know the people involved. Maybe she is on a trajectory out and he cares enough about her to deal with the baggage. In this case, the thing to do is get educated about what one is getting themselves into as much as possible. I'd like very much to see a good guy help a basically decent woman get out of Scientology and create her own family. But right there, "getting out" means that he is going in with a potentially conflicting agenda. She needs to want it - and it still won't be easy.

Having said that, I've been in several very deep Scientology relationships and I'm sworn off now. I also went with a very lovely woman who, when I came out of the closet as a Scientologist, dumped me like a carton of bad milk. I was really bummed at the time but looking back now I highly respect her for it.

I respect your opinion.

I do not agree with it however, and feel that falling in love with a Scientologist that won't look at everything is dangerous for your financial, mental and spiritual well being...

Every person I met was hurt by Scientology....they may not admit it but I would dig and LOOK at their financial situation, divorce and shattered family and friends situation and their abilities NOT gained and actually lost by Scientology.

especially those that are in the closet cuz eventually they will need some help and support and reach for the cult's "tech" and auditing...and they will be harmed.

That is a money ( NOT backed )guarantee

(which should have been my first clue Scientology IS and was always a big, huge, terrible scam)...

 

[TheOriginalBigBlue]

It's interesting that she prefers to date non-Scientologists. It may be that she's losing attachment with Scientology, but that would make the relationship even more strange, at least over the short term.

Dating relationships inside Scientology can be stranger than you can believe. Keep in mind that every Scientologist keeps every other Scientologist under surveillance. It's like living under Communism in Stalin's time (this analogy is actually a good way to look at your situation). Scientologists, even spouses, are REQUIRED to make reports to the local Scientology "Ethics Officer" (internal security) about any other Scientologist who makes any sort of disloyal statements. If you are a Scientologist and you knew something about somebody, and did NOT report it, and that comes out later, then you are in trouble. It's therefore refreshing to be able to talk freely with somebody, and not be afraid that he will report on you to "ethics".

Now, look at the situation from the girl's perspective. If you get seen as somebody hostile to Scientology, then she MUST disconnect from you. This is why you need to not talk disparagingly about Scientology around her -- it puts her in a VERY awkward situation. If she is told to disconnect from you (because you are seen as a bad influence) then she must comply or risk punishment.

She is currently at risk of herself being labeled a bad influence (a PTS, "potential trouble source") on her family if she hangs out with people hostile to Scientology. In that case, she will be told to cease all contact with all people hostile to Scientology (or even all non-Scientologists) or herself risk expulsion ("suppressive person declare"). In that case, her family and friends will be required to have no further contact with her, nor help her in any way. If she is financially dependent upon her parents, this would be very bad for her.

In summary, if she likes hanging out with you, then you MUST stop negatively mentioning Scientology. You don't need to mention Scientology -- if she's dating non-Scientologists, that means that psychologically, she's 80% out. Don't push it.

In addition to the Stasi reporting type culture there is also the divulging of deeply personal details of relationships in auditing sessions and O/W (Overt Withhold) write ups. These are put down in writing and kept on record by the Church literally forever. Probably one of the main reasons people drift away from the Church is because they are sick and tired of walking on egg shells trying to avoid committing acts or thoughts considered to be transgressions by the Church that will eventually need to be divulged while on an e-meter.

Just by associating with someone who may be non-sympathetic with Scientology can cause this kind of internal conflict. What you may be interpreting as pulling away from Scientology may only be a reluctance to go into session or an ethics interview where she has to tell all.

 

[TheOriginalBigBlue]

My thoughts too. The money is a BIG issue and would only become more so in the future. Also pressure on her to "handle you" the further she goes up the bridge.

For that reason, I would say cut your losses, move on. The heartache you feel now would be nothing compared to if you get married, have kids, and then the cult destroys your family. And they have a way of doing just that.

And that 400 - 500k for the Bridge does NOT include IAS donations in order to increase "Status". That is potentially unlimited. And, it does NOT include travel or mandatory hotel costs to stay at Flag.

 

[TheOriginalBigBlue]

Hi So Confused,
Being a romantic at heart I'd personally keep
trying to be with the girl I love. That may not be the wisest or
best plan for all situations and people but would be my plan.

I was 25 years in the Church until 1991 and am still an
independent scientologist.

I don't think it has to be a problem having a partner with
different beliefs. My wife is a very dedicated catholic and is
several times a week going to prayer meetings, church etc.
This causes no problems at all.

Now as an independent or Freezone scientologist I'm not subject
to the pressures that one would be subject to in CO$. Ironic,
they make one study how to "shatter suppression" and also
that scientologists have to watch out for those they call
suppressive persons. That would include anyone who is critical
of anything about Scientology or the organisation. That's most
of the known world! Its very possible that she has been worked
over on these points, and any communication that she knows
someone critical would be a red flag. She would also be under
pressure to donate money for the "War Chest".

So it would be wise to not be critical. This gives an opportunity
to those in CO$ to put pressure on her and they would be unlikely
to not do so. So just be there for her.

I'll give a real life example a guy got in touch with me and was
pissed off by being made to do multiple PTS/SP courses
[Potential Trouble Source which is connected to an SP Suppressive
person] The reason was he and his brother liked to watch football on
TV on saturdays, and his brother didn't like Scn.

I think it is disingenuous to compare Scientology with "other religions" for the possible exception of Islam.

 

[Gizmo]

Well what are your thoughts on the relationship aspect and if these problems arise from abuses and exposure to things growing up that just cant be fixed? Like I said, she prefers to date outside the SCI circle in LA. Now this may because it's small and everyone knows each others business? She has had 2 long term realtionships with Scientologist's go bad in the past...They should have been able to work out issues better with shared tech communication. I'm guessing anyway.

But most her friends date other sceintologists. Many really like me, but I have been looked at like an outsider at some events. I'm tall though so stand out haha.

A definite drinking problem though that is a coping mechanism to numb current stress and past painful memeories...And why didnt SCI handle that?

It's possible that though I love her, she has some actual psychological issues that obviously have never been properly assessed. Some very traumatic past experiences.

All jokes aside do you just cut your loses in this situation? It's tragic that it's happening.

As long as one stays in the circle of the cult it tends to keep the ' cult think ' in place.

Sort of look at like this : ' a belief is a thought one keeps on thinking '. Given that, as long as one stays around people who use the cult jargon & use cult teachings, uh, it is not so easy to get away from the teaching of the cult.

In spite of " love " or " 25 years marriage ", I - & most other people who are X's - have people been made to disconnect & a cult member will disconnect in a heartbeat to protect their " eternity ".

In the cult or out of the cult is sort of like " Well, I'm only a little bit pregnant ".

Ah, and sometime if only love was enough . . . . but, by itself, it isn't always enough.

But, no doubt, you know the gal, you know your heart & you'll do what is best for you.

Sincerely, I wish you good luck !

 

[Gizmo]

<snip> . . . . because I was just incapable then of making any relationship work . . . .<snip>

Helena

At the time I was about to write a book called " HOW TO RUIN A RELATIONSHIP " as I had ruined every relationship I had ever been in - along came a person & my relationship status changed for the good !

If it can happen for me - and it did - then surely it can - and will - happen for you !



PS : the only thing scn changed for me ( and I did one whole lot of levels ! ) was my bank balance.

 

[Victoria]

Well what are your thoughts on the relationship aspect and if these problems arise from abuses and exposure to things growing up that just cant be fixed? Like I said, she prefers to date outside the SCI circle. Now this may because it's small and everyone knows each others business? She has had 2 long term realtionships with Scientologist's go bad in the past...They should have been able to work out issues better with shared tech communication. I'm guessing anyway.

But most her friends date other sceintologists. Many really like me, but I have been looked at like an outsider at some events. I'm tall though so stand out haha.

A definite drinking problem though that is a coping mechanism to numb current stress and past painful memeories...And why didnt SCI handle that?

It's possible that though I love her, she has some actual psychological issues that obviously have never been properly assessed. Some very traumatic past experiences.

All jokes aside do you just cut your loses in this situation? It's tragic that it's happening.

Not only does $cientology NOT handle psychological problems, it creates a great deal that weren't there before.

My poor husband knew nothing of Scientology when he met me, yet I was still displaying all of the false personality of a cultie.
We managed to stay together, partly because at my core I'm not that crazy, but mostly because of his patience.

Also, as the Internet has become such a rich resource of stories from other exes, I slowly started to unravel my brain, while also explaining to him what was happening.

For instance, you say your GF never apologizes. That is a pure Scientology trait. They are trained from the start to never admit to an outsider that they are wrong. It is a "show of weakness". Another big one is "always attack, never defend".

These sorts of screwed up beliefs are at the core of their fake power they think they have from the "tek".

Oh, and your poor girlfriend was brought up in it, without so much as the benefit of a public school. This is tragic.

I don't really have any advice, but unless you truly love her to the ends of the earth,I almost can't see this working out at all:/

Now that you have the advantage of so much information about this evil cult, you could try to see if she has any interest in recovery. If she did possibly the two of you could work through it.

But with her parents being prominent Scientologists, she would only have a couple of choices.

Live a lie.
Tell them she has realized its toxic and be forcibly disconnected from them as a result of church policy.

 

[Terril park]

I think it is disingenuous to compare Scientology with "other religions" for the possible exception of Islam.

dis·in·gen·u·ous (dĭs′ĭn-jĕn′yo͞o-əs)
adj.
1. Not straightforward or candid; insincere or calculating: "Increasingly, the question of immigration has become a disingenuous stalking-horse for race and racial hostility" (Tyler Stovall).
2. Pretending to be unaware or unsophisticated; faux-naïf.
3. Usage Problem Unaware or uninformed; naive.

In effect accusing me of being less than candid, insincere.

You emphasize this:-

"I don't think it has to be a problem having a partner with
different beliefs. My wife is a very dedicated catholic and is
several times a week going to prayer meetings, church etc.
This causes no problems at all. "

Thats merely a statement of the familial situation. I don't
post a lot so it may be difficult for you to realize that I usually
take a very liberal stance with regard to just about anything.

As did your founding fathers [if a US citizen]

From the bill of rights.

"Amendment I
Freedoms, Petitions, Assembly

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press, or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."

 

[JustSheila]

Terril, I think you're misunderstanding BB.

He never said or inferred YOU are disingenuous. We all know you believe what you say and tell things honestly the way you see them.

He said he found the comparison to other religions disingenuous. It wasn't a personal insult.

It's not a straightforward comparison and can't be done without omitting the majority of facts of how COS operates. Kind of like comparing the mafia to a humanitarian group because it gives out loans when desperate people need them. That would be a misleading (disingenuous) comparison.

Some think it's a religion or church, some do not. I don't. You do.

 

[Knows]

I think it is disingenuous to compare Scientology with "other religions" for the possible exception of Islam.

I think it is disingenous to compare Scientology to "other religions" with the exception of ISIS

 

[Knows]

Terril, I think you're misunderstanding BB.

He never said or inferred YOU are disingenuous. We all know you believe what you say and tell things honestly the way you see them.

He said he found the comparison to other religions disingenuous. It wasn't a personal insult.

It's not a straightforward comparison and can't be done without omitting the majority of facts of how COS operates. Kind of like comparing the mafia to a humanitarian group because it gives out loans when desperate people need them. That would be a misleading (disingenuous) comparison.

Some think it's a religion or church, some do not. I don't. You do.

Terril Park most likely has not had anyone he loved harmed by Scientology....

I know a few people like TP

They piss me off...cuz they were not hurt by Scientology - they taut the tek

It's like saying..."I had wins with my evening of smoking crack...it was fun, lots of fun"

I say - burn the books and destroy the tech....

Scientology KILLS!

 

[oneonewasaracecar]

SoConfused, it seems you have wandered in to a lively debate with a lot of conflicting information because there is quite a diversity of opinion, both on Scientology itself and everything else. There is quite a lot of good advice here but there is some advice I would not take.

The usual advice on sifting through the good and bad is to look at the responses (thanks, like, disagree etc on the bottom of the post) and the replies in the thread. If you are unsure, you can click on a person and read prior posts.

Feel free to ask clarifying questions.

Also in case you missed it, this is a very important post that has appeared after the first few pages. The unfortunate thing is any involvement with her makes you a subject of their intelligence gathering.

In addition to the Stasi reporting type culture there is also the divulging of deeply personal details of relationships in auditing sessions and O/W (Overt Withhold) write ups. These are put down in writing and kept on record by the Church literally forever.

 

[Dave B.]

Run!

Yes, you dodged a bullet. Actually thinking about it, being involved with a $cientologist would be more like a slow acting corrosive poison.

 

[cleared cannibal]

It's interesting that she prefers to date non-Scientologists. It may be that she's losing attachment with Scientology, but that would make the relationship even more strange, at least over the short term.

Dating relationships inside Scientology can be stranger than you can believe. Keep in mind that every Scientologist keeps every other Scientologist under surveillance. It's like living under Communism in Stalin's time (this analogy is actually a good way to look at your situation). Scientologists, even spouses, are REQUIRED to make reports to the local Scientology "Ethics Officer" (internal security) about any other Scientologist who makes any sort of disloyal statements. If you are a Scientologist and you knew something about somebody, and did NOT report it, and that comes out later, then you are in trouble. It's therefore refreshing to be able to talk freely with somebody, and not be afraid that he will report on you to "ethics".

Now, look at the situation from the girl's perspective. If you get seen as somebody hostile to Scientology, then she MUST disconnect from you. This is why you need to not talk disparagingly about Scientology around her -- it puts her in a VERY awkward situation. If she is told to disconnect from you (because you are seen as a bad influence) then she must comply or risk punishment.

She is currently at risk of herself being labeled a bad influence (a PTS, "potential trouble source") on her family if she hangs out with people hostile to Scientology. In that case, she will be told to cease all contact with all people hostile to Scientology (or even all non-Scientologists) or herself risk expulsion ("suppressive person declare"). In that case, her family and friends will be required to have no further contact with her, nor help her in any way. If she is financially dependent upon her parents, this would be very bad for her.

In summary, if she likes hanging out with you, then you MUST stop negatively mentioning Scientology. You don't need to mention Scientology -- if she's dating non-Scientologists, that means that psychologically, she's 80% out. Don't push it.

I believe her guts tell her something is wrong but all the upbringing and indoctrination is getting in the way. I believe there is a real chance for this relationship but it is not going to be a fast thing. It may be slow enough that you don't want to wait it out and move on. Speaking from personnel experience here. NEVER EVER SAY ANYTHING NEGATIVE ABOUT SCN IF YOU WANT TO GIVE IT A CHANCE!!! that will drive her back.

The drinking is a red flag to me that she is under going cognitive dissonance. I think this is part of the trap. This cognitive dissonance makes it hard to function in life so you go back to Scn where all the answers are.

You had better love her because you anin't seen nothin yet. There are going to many more bad times before she breaks a way . It is bad enough if you are married to a Scn but as a serious girl friend and perspective mate I would have to think long and hard. I guess that is why you are here. I would as far to say she is insane. I don't mean this in a derogatory way but the pulling one in both directions will do that to you. It would do it to anyone. Unfortunately this insanity you have to work through more or less by yourself, the only thing you can do is give comfort. Now if she ever questions Scn to you you need to able to direct her places to find answers. Being raised in Scn she is starting out behind the eight ball as they say. I don't see how she has gotten to the point she is in now and remaining in the good graces of Scn and her family. This in itself is a good sign.