Cannot reach escape velocity

[Crashed Alien]

Quit being stupid.

Read up here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anonymous_(group)

This is NOT OK,

Thank you for your reply.

I had read that, but thank you for the link.

I read it again... Out of courtesy and just in case I had missed something the first time or it had changed...

Would you mind explaining what you meant by what came across as rather an inflammatory statement, "Stop being stupid."?

Would you elaborate, make your point a little clearer?

Crash

 

[This is NOT OK !!!!]

Every one of your 8 dynamics owes a huge "Thank you" to Anonymous for what they have done to expose the truth about Scienology.

Instead, you just blast them.

Why the 6th, you say?

Someday soon we can hope they won't be wasting so much paper!

 

[Crashed Alien]

Every one of your 8 dynamics owes a huge "Thank you" to Anonymous for what they have done to expose the truth about Scienology.

Instead, you just blast them.

Why the 6th, you say?

Someday soon we can hope they won't be wasting so much paper!

Hello This is NOT OK !!!!

I apologise if I hit a nerve. It was not intentional.

I might not have been as coherent as I thought I was and that may have resulted in you misunderstanding or misreading me...

Not sure why you think I am "Blasting anyone"...?

What bit of what I said are you referring to?

Also, I did not question the 6th Dynamic but, if you are referring to paper being wasted in relation to the dynamics then, in my humble opinion, I'd have thought the 5th would be more appropriate? Just a thought, a discussion point...

Crash

 

[Crashed Alien]

Hello This is NOT OK !!!!

I apologise if I hit a nerve. It was not intentional.

I might not have been as coherent as I thought I was and that may have resulted in you misunderstanding or misreading me...

Not sure why you think I am "Blasting anyone"...?

What bit of what I said are you referring to?

Also, I did not question the 6th Dynamic but, if you are referring to paper being wasted in relation to the dynamics then, in my humble opinion, I'd have thought the 5th would be more appropriate? Just a thought, a discussion point...

Crash

Hello This is NOT OK !!!!

You still there?

Crash

 

[Crashed Alien]

I liked the "Announcement of Cessation of Hostilities - a Truce and Moratorium on Personal Attacks."

Makes perfect sense to me.

Crash

 

[pollywog]

This is NOT OK,

Thank you for your reply.

I had read that, but thank you for the link.

I read it again... Out of courtesy and just in case I had missed something the first time or it had changed...

Would you mind explaining what you meant by what came across as rather an inflammatory statement, "Stop being stupid."?

Would you elaborate, make your point a little clearer?

Crash

HI Crash. I have followed your thread with wonder and sadness and joy, right along with every post you've made. I think you're awesome.

I am anonymous. I don't hack or do illegal things (srsly). I go to work every day and I spend some of my spare time protesting against the cos. You, by now, know why.

But you are reading this and perhaps responding to me as Pollywog. Doesn't matter. I am still anonymous. So are you. And it is all how it should be. Do you see?

Don't be too quick to judge based on what you are told, or what you read in the papers, or what you read online. You truly DO need to learn to think for yourself.

And you will.

"Anonymous" is a boogey man made up by the media. Aided and abetted by the cos.

 

[Crashed Alien]

HI Crash. I have followed your thread with wonder and sadness and joy, right along with every post you've made. I think you're awesome.

I am anonymous. I don't hack or do illegal things (srsly). I go to work every day and I spend some of my spare time protesting against the cos. You, by now, know why.

But you are reading this and perhaps responding to me as Pollywog. Doesn't matter. I am still anonymous. So are you. And it is all how it should be. Do you see?

Don't be too quick to judge based on what you are told, or what you read in the papers, or what you read online. You truly DO need to learn to think for yourself.

And you will.

"Anonymous" is a boogey man made up by the media. Aided and abetted by the cos.

Hello pollywog,

Great name!

Thank you for your post - It is reassuring (to say the least). I am glad that anonymous is not just made up of trolling thugs! (no offence intended).

I have great respect for anyone who stands up for what they believe - It is not easy and I know that from personal experience.

I have looked into Anonymous myself and have drawn my own conclusions. You see, I am an IT professional and was privy to all the Alt. boards and so forth as the internet was born and grew. I saw what I saw. I know what I know.

I can see clearly that Anonymous is not really about personalities, it is about principles - And that is how it should be (Even if the principles are flawed! - And I have had to deal with that myself!).

It is very hard to realise that some things that have been almost sacrosanct in ones life turn out to be flawed or misused to an obscene level. It is truly galling... It is upsetting on all levels and something that I deal with on a step-by-step, day-by-day basis. Anything more is simply crippling and trips me up.

I don't know if you really understand me, but it is a deeply ingrained philosophy - A conditioning that I have had from birth... And it is hard to really believe what has been going on. It is very hard to dismiss it all either as I have had some serious wins with it.

It is truly a double edged sword!

But the current "keepers of the tech" appear to be using it for their own ends. They appear to be completely out of order!

It is like someone telling one, and showing one hard evidence, that one's best friend is in fact the murderer of your brother and sister...

It is almost impossible to believe. I do not know how to say it in a way that can really relay how I feel. It is something that hurts terribly - A pain that simply will not subside.

But on another point you made, I am amazed that you say I am awesome - I do not really feel it. But thank you...

Actually, to tell you the truth, the last few weeks have been a bit rough - I lost quite a bit of height... You know, life stuff. I have been quite low and had some pretty strong "invasive thoughts" and feelings... I have been having nightmares the past couple of weeks, have found myself tearful and emotional for no reason - Like when driving on my own!

Rough seas, rough indeed... But I hope that calmer seas lie ahead. And so I continue.

However, I have a really good friend who is supporting me... As he said, "That is what friends do". He is very modest. He is genuine and I love him. He only needs to say a little... but it is what he says.

I am feeling stronger now.

I am feeling more like me again...

I will reach escape velocity, I am sure of that... I just need to make sure that I do not destroy the very people that I love in the process... You see, in my view, that would make the whole thing futile, for what is life without love... What would be the reason for making the change if one were left standing alone and those who were loved were destroyed?

So until I have worked out how to... I still flutter high and low!

And be reassured, I have not just been blindly listening or following like a sheep for ages - I have been thinking for myself for a very long time. I am probably a very dangerous person in that I know a lot (far too much) but am now unable to be controlled or manipulated - I am a free being!

And, if push comes to shove, I have my priorities, my family and my friends - And they come first... They really do... They always will...

So thank you for your support, for your kind and reassuring words - I think you should know that because of what you said, I now have a greatly increased respect and a much more constructive personal view of Anonymous.

All the best to you.

Crash

 

[Crashed Alien]

It's odd how I sometimes find myself wondering which way is up... and which way is down...

I had a funny turn today. It seems as if some of my memories are untangling and suddenly returning... It seems to happen at odd times... and always unexpectedly.

I suddenly recalled Leigh Crundall. I knew her Mum Dawn, and grew up with her three brothers; Martin, Peter and Johnny... Leigh was older than me - 7 or 8 years older if I recall. So she was not in the same peer group. She was more like an older sister.

But yesterday, in my mind, I suddenly recalled her in vivid detail - The lighting of the time, the cold, the clothes, the smells, the innocent feelings of a child realising how beautiful she really was... You know how sometimes one might have a single picture of something or someone that was particularly nice... and it suddenly returns-comes back to you... A happy picture.

Well that appeared in my mind - Just popped up. Leigh was always really nice to me - Even though I must actually have been one of her annoying little brother's annoying little friends!

But my memories of her have mostly faded... or been covered...

I don't know if you can understand - I find it hard to really paint the picture...

But I realised that I was so shocked - to the very core - when I heard that she had hanged herself... I still find it hard to come to terms with now - It still has that upset and disbelief right now. Even though it was the summer of 1984 that it happened - Nearly 30 years ago!

Perhaps that is why it was out of sight.

But I have no idea why it would suddenly resurface now...

So she is gone... That means that she now lives in the hearts and the minds of those who loved her, like me as an additional small brother and she, like a bossy, but very much loved, big sister...

Funny how the road one treads has these little but powerful elements...

I hope you don't mind me sharing this with you and I hope that my happy memory does not stir up any unhappy memories for you...

Crash

 

[Crashed Alien]

My dreams have returned... with a vengeance!

It is interesting how much one's whole thoughts are entwined and guided by the training/conditioning that one has... whether by friends, family, the CofS, the government, doctors, etc...

It is not not only with the CofS; but generally from all directions - It is what we call reality.

We believe what we are taught is the true and we believe, just as we eat the things that we are told we should eat... even though a lot of them are actually, and obviously, killing us.

I am questioning EVERYTHING right now. It seems that this is not a generality... I really am questioning everything.

Nothing seems to be what I thought it was...

It is like reality is upside down! My whole world is upside down... Which is which... Am I heading for escape velocity, or for a very hard impact?

Crazy times...

Crash

 

[Free to shine]

It's odd how I sometimes find myself wondering which way is up... and which way is down...

I had a funny turn today. It seems as if some of my memories are untangling and suddenly returning... It seems to happen at odd times... and always unexpectedly.

I suddenly recalled Leigh Crundall. I knew her Mum Dawn, and grew up with her three brothers; Martin, Peter and Johnny... Leigh was older than me - 7 or 8 years older if I recall. So she was not in the same peer group. She was more like an older sister.

But yesterday, in my mind, I suddenly recalled her in vivid detail - The lighting of the time, the cold, the clothes, the smells, the innocent feelings of a child realising how beautiful she really was... You know how sometimes one might have a single picture of something or someone that was particularly nice... and it suddenly returns-comes back to you... A happy picture.

Well that appeared in my mind - Just popped up. Leigh was always really nice to me - Even though I must actually have been one of her annoying little brother's annoying little friends!

But my memories of her have mostly faded... or been covered...

I don't know if you can understand - I find it hard to really paint the picture...

But I realised that I was so shocked - to the very core - when I heard that she had hanged herself... I still find it hard to come to terms with now - It still has that upset and disbelief right now. Even though it was the summer of 1984 that it happened - Nearly 30 years ago!

Perhaps that is why it was out of sight.

But I have no idea why it would suddenly resurface now...

So she is gone... That means that she now lives in the hearts and the minds of those who loved her, like me as an additional small brother and she, like a bossy, but very much loved, big sister...

Funny how the road one treads has these little but powerful elements...

I hope you don't mind me sharing this with you and I hope that my happy memory does not stir up any unhappy memories for you...

Crash

Interesting that you should mention Leigh ... I knew her too, and the family. What happened to her was horrific and buried in the multi layered PR bullsit that is scientology. She is almost the Lisa McPherson of another age and I sincerely hope that the full truth of what happened to her one day is told in full. For me there are no excuses for the death of Leigh, none, ever, ever, ever.

This is about all there is on the net at the moment. I respect the privacy of the family, but let me add this is the tip of the iceberg. You only knew she disappeared, well probably all scientologists have had people do that and never really questioned it. Well Scientology kills! Yes it can be a shock to find that out - but it needs to be understood. It is better for our loved ones, in the long run, that we are honest, accountable and can be there for them when they wake up. It's also a lot more comfortable.

Leigh Crundall (maiden name)
Leigh was a member of the former Guardian office which had recently [1983] been disbanded, and indeed the mission to do that was still at St. Hill. Leigh was not SO but she was kept around for gofor purposes. She was told that she had to keep almost impossible hours and this was while she had to take care of her two sons and her husband, one of her sons had a heart condition which needed surgery as well. She was working almost impossible hours, she had to be at St. Hill for 8am, that was after getting her children up and off to school, then she had to get back for lunch to her house, without a lift to town, then back to the hill, then back at 6 for her children, then back to the hill for 7pm until the earliest of 11pm. This took its toll on her and she wound up "going nuts" or type 3 as they say. But because she wasn't SO and because she was little better than RPF status she had the lowest of priorities. They start ed a baby watch on her down at St Mary's when we owned that. Everyone had moved out and they only had a team of RPFers who were cleaning it before it got sold. So it was the perfect place for her. After a couple of weeks without any progress "they" decided that she wasnt worth the man power and pulled out the watch.

"[T]hey" decided that her family should take care of her. Her mother is/was Dawn Crundall , the then FBO AOSHUK. [After a few monts, I] saw a piece in the EG Observer telling how she has hung herself. She'd gone into the library and got out a book on knots, then went to a hardware store and bought some rope and hung herself from the bannister in her home. I cracked up when I read that. This would have been in July/August 1984.

http://www.xenu-directory.net/mirrors/www.whyaretheydead.net/

 

[Crashed Alien]

Interesting that you should mention Leigh ... I knew her too, and the family. What happened to her was horrific and buried in the multi layered PR bullsit that is scientology. She is almost the Lisa McPherson of another age and I sincerely hope that the full truth of what happened to her one day is told in full. For me there are no excuses for the death of Leigh, none, ever, ever, ever.

This is about all there is on the net at the moment. I respect the privacy of the family, but let me add this is the tip of the iceberg. You only knew she disappeared, well probably all scientologists have had people do that and never really questioned it. Well Scientology kills! Yes it can be a shock to find that out - but it needs to be understood. It is better for our loved ones, in the long run, that we are honest, accountable and can be there for them when they wake up. It's also a lot more comfortable.

http://www.xenu-directory.net/mirrors/www.whyaretheydead.net/

Hi Free to shine,

Good to hear from you.

I knew about what happened with Leigh pretty quickly, probably before it was in the papers, but I don't know. I was pretty upset at the time... Still am if the truth be told!

She was not someone who was just not there any more (sadly)... She was properly gone; no, she is properly gone..

Thank you for the link; quite worrying really... to say the least!

I hope you are OK and that things in your life are good.

I am spinning a little, not sure if it is an upward spin, or a downward one.

I suppose it is better than being static! There is always a silver lining.

It feels as if I am able to, and am letting go of things... It is an uncomfortable feeling, like letting go of the safety rope while climbing a mountain! I am not actually falling, but if I do, there is no one but me to stop the fall.

Scary, yet somehow exhilarating... Freedom? Not sure...

Thank you for the info on Leigh as well. I don't know how Dawn would have got through that... I wonder what became of her?

Take care... All the best to you...

Crash

 

[Crashed Alien]

Hope everyone is OK...

I have been going through quite a lot recently... Not sure why this is so hard...

Sorry for the silence... I am OK...

Please don't think I have gone away... I am still here...

I will tell you all about it when I can put it into words.

Crash

 

[Crashed Alien]

Hope everyone is OK...

I have been going through quite a lot recently... Not sure why this is so hard...

Sorry for the silence... I am OK...

Please don't think I have gone away... I am still here...

I will tell you all about it when I can put it into words.

Crash

I have been researching... I do not have it all yet, but am pretty convinced that I am, or have been, experiencing the effects and showing the symptoms of stress...

Not just a glib statement this... I really mean it. STRESS! It is an interesting thing...

I will update you when the fuzziness becomes a little less intense...

Crash

 

[Crashed Alien]

I have hidden memory returning!

Seems that I may also have "Stress-induced amnesia"... Or something approximating it - But caused or triggered by stress.

You see, certain events have happened recently where I have found that I have been reminded of something that happened - More told directly about it - But I had actually forgotten it. Really, I had!

But as I listened, I looked into my memories with disbelief as the events flooded back - I can recall it now, vividly - Can see the people, places, feel the air temperature, see the dimming evening light.

And all the emotions attached with it seem to burst forward with an initial "blast" but then the contemplation and analytical thoughts about it come a bit later!

This was not just a small little thing in my life - It was a major and significant event that I had totally "forgotten" had happened...

It makes me wonder what else is sitting hidden, causing or contributing to the tangled timeline... Amazing really! But of great interest.

I am writing these things down and making a roadmap and what may eventually be a full story.

Something that would probably be best shared, rather than hidden, locked away (even from me) in my own mind.

Crash

 

[Random guy]

Memories coming back should (if my memory doesn't trick me) be a sign of healing.* The trauma of having to face events that has been shut off by amnesia can be hard though. I suggest finding a sympathetic ear if you can. You will probably want, or rather need, to talk this through with someone.

Best of luck Crash!


* As always with the caveat that I have no professional background, don't take my word for anything but an opinion!

 

[Crashed Alien]

Memories coming back should (if my memory doesn't trick me) be a sign of healing.* The trauma of having to face events that has been shut off by amnesia can be hard though. I suggest finding a sympathetic ear if you can. You will probably want, or rather need, to talk this through with someone.

Best of luck Crash!


* As always with the caveat that I have no professional background, don't take my word for anything but an opinion!

Hi Random Guy.

I hope all is well with you.

Thank you, sound advice that I am now taking... Although it seems hard to do, as if I am going against some rule to do so...

But now, the emotions follow the first memories; the reason this it was hidden and "forgotten" in the first place...

A bit more than I was expecting... I am reeling really.

I am glad to have a real friend near me who I can speak to...

What a day!

Crash

 

[Crashed Alien]

Well...

I hope you are all well.

Not sure what to say, just thought you should know that I am still alive...

I am in a new world. The old is distant and somehow surreal... Far, far away, as if it is just a dream.

Years go by... Years have gone by... Years and years...

And my friends? My current friends, my REAL friends! feel distant. Too distant...

I feel remote, as if I am watching life on a TV.

Except my emotions are extreme, so strong...

Strange... very odd...

LA

 

[Crashed Alien]

Hello,

I hope you are all happier today than you were yesterday - That's the way to go!

Thought I might share a little more of my journey with you. I have had a strange few months, the last one being particularly weird in my world.

Seems that I needed to head back downwards to try and reach escape velocity. Opposites... Had to face some truths that I wanted to leave behind.

I did and now I am heading outwards and faster than before; I feel fear, I feel the winds of space ahead!

Things are still pretty crazy in my mind; it appears that up is down, left is right and white is black! Sorry if cliché to anyone, but I really mean it.

And some memories are returning - Without warning and with a vengeance! I thought this would me a good thing, but I am in a world of opposites so I am not sure right now. It probably is good, but that is hard to believe right now.

Strange memories that I really was not expecting. Some with emotion, some cold, as if I were recalling a film/movie... a lot is still jumbled and out of sequence... but not quite as much.

Luckily I have a real friend who listens to me and for some reason does not just run away.

I am making notes... I am thinking about sharing both here and possibly as a book...

I feel it is nearing the time where certain things need to be exposed.

This fills me with a deep sense of foreboding... But that is probably the reason that it should be done.

All the best to you.

Keep taking at least one step a day on your journey...

Crash

 

[Marvel Parsons]

Stratospheric...

Your post touched my heart.....I will pray for you. Much love and best wishes!

 

[Crashed Alien]

Stratospheric...

Your post touched my heart.....I will pray for you. Much love and best wishes!

Marvel Parson,

I thank you for the prayer... It is a very kind sentiment... It warmed my heart.

Very much appreciated...

This is an interesting time for me, I hope I am not boring everyone... I am taking notes of what I do recall and may try to put it into a coherent for to share...

My best wishes to you...

Crash.