Gib
Crusader
It was on ESMB that I discovered the lack of toilet paper was universal.
Finally...I was not alone!!
It was then that I knew I had found home.
Here's a picture of quanoloco at home
It was on ESMB that I discovered the lack of toilet paper was universal.
Finally...I was not alone!!
It was then that I knew I had found home.
Here's a picture of quanoloco at home
I began my ESMB experience with the user name SallyDannce. I was listening to Lou Reed as I was signing up to ESMB. I had no idea what name to use. I was listening to "Sally Can't Dance". I felt a deep rebellion rise, and basically said "to hell with that! Sally can Dance!!" I was in an almost permanent state of rebellion back then. Angry to the core, sad to the marrow of my bones and off my rocker with cognitive dissonance and dissociation.
I was struggling to live life, sans the scientology conditioning. I figured if I could get myself to a place where I felt like spontaneously dancing, with heart and soul, I would be doing okay. Sort of like a slightly-weird benchmark to attain. Real personal freedom regained, or something like that.
So it began. Without a checksheet to guide me, I made a commitment with myself to crawl out of the mess and push myself back into the real world, to find some joy and meaning in my life. I introduced daily dancing to help build my confidence, raise oxytocin levels and to learn how to have simple silly fun again.
My dancing is not about prowess. Hell no! It is about independence, it’s about living life on my own terms. It's about shedding the cult identity and fearlessly - and sometimes with loads of fear - reinventing myself and re-building a life which is all mine. Spontaneously dancing is, for me, a true expression of joy.
ESMB has been with me all the way as I have danced and bashed through the mental prison walls. Sometimes I have posted, danced, posted, danced, posted... I have no idea if this is "normal" behaviour. I hope not. :wink2:
Perhaps dancing is the best revenge.
The first person who sent a request to become a friend on ESMB for me, when I first started posting here on ESMB, was quanoloco. I had no idea what that meant, but I did, but not really, he/she understood my beginning posts, I wasn't alone. What relief, I was in tears at the time as I am now.
And in the beginning, as I just started posting, another poster here, Auditors Toad, sent me a PM. On my god, what to do, I replied. So glad I did. This was back in 2012.
So to the the two of you folks, I really wish we could meet in person.
Here's what's funny too, I didn't know what quanoloco meant as a handle in the beginning when I first started to post here. LOL