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Celebrating the strengths of ESMB

Glenda

Crusader
Preamble: in the beginning of my journey away from scientology I would come to this site and read. Often it was in the middle of the night as I sat alone in Shanghai. I was very confused. Very lost. You may say none of this matters, that it is merely the nostalgic rantings of a woman who should pick up her knitting and STFU. But it does matter and it isn’t about me. (I do NOT have any knitting either) :p

Happy 10th birthday ESMB! Yes it’s been 10 years since this board was started. During those ten years many have come and gone. People have changed. Some of our finest members have even died.

Loving remembrance to all who have passed on. Rest in Peace dear friends. :rose:

I’ve been attempting to identity what ESMB means to me and what its strengths might be. This stuff matters. Why? There are still a lot of people still caught up in scientology. For each of us the path away from the cult of scientology is different. There really are 50+ ways to leave your (lover) cult. Each of us took a different route to get ourselves to “safe ground”.

For me ESMB was pivotal in keeping me upright and moving forward. I read this site like someone who had found an oasis in a desert. I could find no other accessible place on the internet where I could begin to share my thoughts. I did try to join another board (OCMB?) but never heard back from anyone so I could get an account activated. I remember sitting there weeping about that. I was so alone and needed a community of people who understood what was happening to me.

When I eventually started posting on ESMB I had zero confidence. I’d never posted anything on a message board plus my nerves were shot from the awakening I’d had. I’d sit at my computer shaking, doing an excellent rendition of someone in the middle of nervous break-down. I remember the hope that ESMB brought into my very messed up life. I figured if others could make it, so could I. Hope is a pretty powerful thing to give someone. I remain grateful. Thank you to all who have posted on ESMB, told their stories and shared information. It helped save my life. Yes, I mean that.

The fact is there are many others behind us. ESMB is possibly the only place on the internet that an ex can land, read and begin to explore their “new voice”. I think ESMB is unique in that. A community where others have been through similar experiences, speak the lingo and can share loads of helpful stuff. I can’t tell you how many books I’ve read that I got the titles to off ESMB. Loads.

Facebook is not in the same ballpark. I’ve explored FB the past few years. It is not a safe place for a person in the middle of the night, falling apart, to find a connective community. There are closed groups on FB but they are closed. They are no use to a person to either read or participate without already having connections. And the FB format is hopeless for finding things.

ESMB for me was a place where I could begin to explore the major trust issues I was facing. Who the hell do you trust when you’ve walked away from all you knew and your head is full of paranoia and uncertainty about the world in general? ESMB helped me to begin to establish a sense of trust with the world.

One of the most powerful strengths of ESMB is its accessibility and though the search engine here often sucks (sorry but it does) there are easy to find sub-forums to dig into and find relevant stuff one may be looking for.

What are your thoughts about the strengths of ESMB? Can we please agree to remain on the strengths for a bit before we hit into the weaknesses? Yes there are weakness. That's how this gig called life works. That’s also how humans come, in all sizes and shapes, with both strengths and weaknesses.

What are the strengths of this message board that we can isolate, define and celebrate?

Happy 10th Birthday ESMB!
 
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Free to shine

Shiny & Free
Thanks, what a great subject. Sometimes we get lost in small events and forget the big picture.

Like you, I found ESMB at a critical time in my life. I had just posted my first ever anti scientology post on Ethercat’s Through the Door site. It’s embarrassing to admit the terror I had back then and the years have shown me that the ‘terror’ was part of the scientology mind control manipulation all along. When I posted my story here in 2009 it was a very scary experience - but not for too long. The liberation of being able to speak far outweighed the necessary discomfort of changing and wading through cognitive dissonance. I am SO grateful there was a venue that allowed me to do that.

I lurked before posting and then read the stories of other people like a starving person. People who had suffered the same and usually much worse betrayal and pain than me, and saw that they survived and were having good lives. That’s what has kept me tied to ESMB all these years, the truth getting out to the world, and as I have said many times before, passing on the simple knowledge that “I/you am not alone”. Those stories are all still there for the hundreds of guests that are here daily. How wonderful is that?

Social media like Facebook has have changed society in many ways and part of that is an ‘instant’ mindset. You read something and then it is gone and ESMB is the opposite. Perhaps considered a dinosaur technology by some, a message board stays and is always there for reference. ESMB is the most amazing database, not only for records of historical events but also for the long term changes we all go through. Discussions on any aspect of scientology you could possibly think of are there for everyone to read. And in this way many people can work things out for themselves and perhaps not even need to join!

I look back at the scared me who joined in 2007 to the me now and it’s amazing. Even that helps, the comparison. And when I see someone new posting their first hesitant words I remember how it felt and hope they stick around through what sometimes is a daunting jolt to the system in the land of being able to speak their truth.

ESMB has been through many changes over the years and this has been discussed at various times. This is a fact of life as the directions of discussion follow the thoughts of whoever is currently posting. Many people move on and that’s great, though I hope they pop in now and then to see how it’s going. OSA will always try and end, denigrate and cause trouble on ESMB because that’s the nature of the beast. Yet we are still here.

So thankyou from me to each and every member who has ever posted, even the ones I disagreed with. I am as grateful as I ever was to Emma for starting this board, and now to Ethercat who does a magnificent and mostly thankless job keeping it going, and the moderators. During the ‘hell years’ it must have been hard!

And that is the strength of ESMB to me – it is here despite anything that has happened.
 

Glenda

Crusader
Thanks, what a great subject. Sometimes we get lost in small events and forget the big picture.

Like you, I found ESMB at a critical time in my life. I had just posted my first ever anti scientology post on Ethercat’s Through the Door site. It’s embarrassing to admit the terror I had back then and the years have shown me that the ‘terror’ was part of the scientology mind control manipulation all along. When I posted my story here in 2009 it was a very scary experience - but not for too long. The liberation of being able to speak far outweighed the necessary discomfort of changing and wading through cognitive dissonance. I am SO grateful there was a venue that allowed me to do that.

I lurked before posting and then read the stories of other people like a starving person. People who had suffered the same and usually much worse betrayal and pain than me, and saw that they survived and were having good lives. That’s what has kept me tied to ESMB all these years, the truth getting out to the world, and as I have said many times before, passing on the simple knowledge that “I/you am not alone”. Those stories are all still there for the hundreds of guests that are here daily. How wonderful is that?

Social media like Facebook has have changed society in many ways and part of that is an ‘instant’ mindset. You read something and then it is gone and ESMB is the opposite. Perhaps considered a dinosaur technology by some, a message board stays and is always there for reference. ESMB is the most amazing database, not only for records of historical events but also for the long term changes we all go through. Discussions on any aspect of scientology you could possibly think of are there for everyone to read. And in this way many people can work things out for themselves and perhaps not even need to join!

I look back at the scared me who joined in 2007 to the me now and it’s amazing. Even that helps, the comparison. And when I see someone new posting their first hesitant words I remember how it felt and hope they stick around through what sometimes is a daunting jolt to the system in the land of being able to speak their truth.

ESMB has been through many changes over the years and this has been discussed at various times. This is a fact of life as the directions of discussion follow the thoughts of whoever is currently posting. Many people move on and that’s great, though I hope they pop in now and then to see how it’s going. OSA will always try and end, denigrate and cause trouble on ESMB because that’s the nature of the beast. Yet we are still here.

So thankyou from me to each and every member who has ever posted, even the ones I disagreed with. I am as grateful as I ever was to Emma for starting this board, and now to Ethercat who does a magnificent and mostly thankless job keeping it going, and the moderators. During the ‘hell years’ it must have been hard!

And that is the strength of ESMB to me – it is here despite anything that has happened.

My God would it be pathetic to admit I have tears?

Thank you for your beautiful thoughts. Thank you for all you have contributed to ESMB over the years.

Yes, the big picture as you say is often lost sight of in the racket of the internet world, the trite irrelevancies and life in general. We'll never know what the footprint of this message board has gifted to the world. But if I listen to my heart I know it is immense.

We're a unique bunch of individuals. We often carry stories with such disgusting inhumane details. We share information with others, we try to make others laugh, we do our best to support others in their times of need, all the while carrying a niggling awareness that there are forces which would rather we stayed silent. There's a lot of collective courage on this message board.

Like you FTS, no matter what is said (written), no matter how heated some of the discussions get, I carry strong gratitude for this message board. Nothing will change that. Sometimes I disappear from ESMB. I'm just out here in the world making my way forward best I can. But always I carry love and gratitude for all who have made ESMB what it is. That will remain the same, no matter what.

I agree that one of the remarkable strengths of ESMB is that it is still here. Somewhere along the way and all that has gone down, there has been sufficient intelligence and genuine caring to keep ESMB working.

Here's to [STRIKE]KSW[/STRIKE] KESMBW. :biggrin:

Still here, with love and respect
Glenda xxx
 

WildKat

Gold Meritorious Patron
ESMB is like a lifeline in a sea of despair. How powerful it is to find out "I'm not alone".

Thinking you're the only one stepping away from Scn so there must be something wrong with you....that thought creates fear and a feeling that you're "losing it"....losing your grip on sanity. And yes, that's what they want you to think. So it is comforting to find out that others have been there and done that and survived and came out stronger.

ESMB makes it OK to leave the cult, because you now know you aren't alone.

Wow, can't believe it's been ten years!
 

ILove2Lurk

Lisbeth Salander
. . .
When Scientologists begin to extract themselves from the false histories and worldviews in the COS, a tremendous disbelief and unwillingness to face some very uncomfortable truths can turn on. Some make a fast pivot and decide to hang on to the more comfortable LRH mythologies they’ve known.

I don't blame them somehow. They’re just trying to avoid a potentially painful and long "dark night of the soul."

What is a dark night of the soul?

- You lose the guru or church that created your identity for you for decades.
- You no longer find any meaning in the stories you used to tell yourself.
- You wake up and find everything that defined who you are is gone.

I’ve always viewed ESMB as a very public truth-delivery website. More than that, it’s a necessary elixir and welcoming hand for that dark time in one’s life when things fall apart a bit.

I don’t know what woulda happened to me without the welcoming hands of y’all it to help me out through my time. And for that I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

:rose:
 

George Layton

Silver Meritorious Patron
. . .
When Scientologists begin to extract themselves from the false histories and worldviews in the COS, a tremendous disbelief and unwillingness to face some very uncomfortable truths can turn on. Some make a fast pivot and decide to hang on to the more comfortable LRH mythologies they’ve known.

I don't blame them somehow. They’re just trying to avoid a potentially painful and long "dark night of the soul."

What is a dark night of the soul?

- You lose the guru or church that created your identity for you for decades.
- You no longer find any meaning in the stories you used to tell yourself.
- You wake up and find everything that defined who you are is gone.

I’ve always viewed ESMB as a very public truth-delivery website. More than that, it’s a necessary elixir and welcoming hand for that dark time in one’s life when things fall apart a bit.

I don’t know what woulda happened to me without the welcoming hands of y’all it to help me out through my time. And for that I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

:rose:

Your post reminded me of this. All the best.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7FdXMbT83vM
 

Churchill

Gold Meritorious Patron
ESMB serves as a high functioning marketplace of ideas, which, for a nascent ex-Scientologist, is uniquely refreshing, stimulating, and liberating.
ESMB is the level playing field upon which Scientology is wholly unable to compete. Civil discourse needn't entail agreement between all parties; and the fallacious "reality is agreement" meme is forever shattered in the face of respectful disagreement, all but unknown to most Scientologists.
ESMB is an intellectual and spiritual oasis, with a smorgasbord of tasty offerings. That's why I keep coming back for more; that, and the fact there are folks here who I truly cherish...❤️
 

Enthetan

Master of Disaster
One of the most powerful strengths of ESMB is its accessibility and though the search engine here often sucks (sorry but it does) there are easy to find sub-forums to dig into and find relevant stuff one may be looking for.

If you don't like the site's search feature, you can also use google. Using " site:forum.exscn.net" restricts the search to just ESMB rather than the whole Internet.

https://www.google.com/advanced_search

https://support.google.com/websearch/answer/134479?hl=en&ref_topic=3081620
 

guanoloco

As-Wased
It was on ESMB that I discovered the lack of toilet paper was universal.

Finally...I was not alone!!

It was then that I knew I had found home.
 

Glenda

Crusader
ESMB is like a lifeline in a sea of despair. How powerful it is to find out "I'm not alone".

Thinking you're the only one stepping away from Scn so there must be something wrong with you....that thought creates fear and a feeling that you're "losing it"....losing your grip on sanity. And yes, that's what they want you to think. So it is comforting to find out that others have been there and done that and survived and came out stronger.

ESMB makes it OK to leave the cult, because you now know you aren't alone.

Wow, can't believe it's been ten years!

Yes! ESMB brings a connection to the world that the cult tried to fully sever. We were meant to remain mentally hooked forever more. That's the dedication demanded by the cult of scientology.

To find out we can leave, that others left and made it back into the world is the comfort that ESMB brings to people. ESMB is a vital "cyber venue" to reconnect ex's back to the real world, to help them begin to trust humanity again. That's a very sweet, all encompassing, life giving gift. :flowers:
 

Glenda

Crusader
. . .
When Scientologists begin to extract themselves from the false histories and worldviews in the COS, a tremendous disbelief and unwillingness to face some very uncomfortable truths can turn on. Some make a fast pivot and decide to hang on to the more comfortable LRH mythologies they’ve known.

I don't blame them somehow. They’re just trying to avoid a potentially painful and long "dark night of the soul."

What is a dark night of the soul?

- You lose the guru or church that created your identity for you for decades.
- You no longer find any meaning in the stories you used to tell yourself.
- You wake up and find everything that defined who you are is gone.

I’ve always viewed ESMB as a very public truth-delivery website. More than that, it’s a necessary elixir and welcoming hand for that dark time in one’s life when things fall apart a bit.

I don’t know what woulda happened to me without the welcoming hands of y’all it to help me out through my time. And for that I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

:rose:

Beautiful!

That dark night of the soul can be very powerful. Many here on ESMB have been through it and often extend a gentle hand to others as they go through their own living hell.

Over the years I have explored the "shit that happens to humans" being very careful to never assume "mine is worse than anyone else's". It's not. However the scientology induced dark night is unique as it goes so deep. I think spiritual betrayal is a very heavy burden for humans to sort out.

ESMB is that place where the wildness and breadth of profound spiritual betrayal (and the many other layers of heavy betrayal that are the consequence of being a true believer of scientology) can be openly discussed. Healing can begin and a person can move towards true freedom. Freedom of mind. Freedom of thought. Freedom to love, to laugh, to feel and to post music videos.

:rose:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3g3raY1tYm4
 

Glenda

Crusader
ESMB serves as a high functioning marketplace of ideas, which, for a nascent ex-Scientologist, is uniquely refreshing, stimulating, and liberating.
ESMB is the level playing field upon which Scientology is wholly unable to compete. Civil discourse needn't entail agreement between all parties; and the fallacious "reality is agreement" meme is forever shattered in the face of respectful disagreement, all but unknown to most Scientologists.
ESMB is an intellectual and spiritual oasis, with a smorgasbord of tasty offerings. That's why I keep coming back for more; that, and the fact there are folks here who I truly cherish...❤️

Awesome stuff Churchill.

Scientololgy never could, and never will be able to compete with decency, robust discussions, tears, laughter, civility, non-agenda'ed (is that a word?) intentions and the freedom to rebel.

ESMB is my place of beautiful rebellion! :)
 

Glenda

Crusader
It was on ESMB that I discovered the lack of toilet paper was universal.

Finally...I was not alone!!

It was then that I knew I had found home.

OMG! I remember my toilet paper moment too. There I was thinking that the lack of proper paper for those certain moments in life was merely a localised issue only to discover it was actually an international shitty mess.

Thank you ESMB and all that have contributed to my ever-broadening view of some of the strangest things. :)
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
.

OMG! I remember my toilet paper moment too. There I was thinking that the lack of proper paper for those certain moments in life was merely a localised issue only to discover it was actually an international shitty mess.

Thank you ESMB and all that have contributed to my ever-broadening view of some of the strangest things. :)



LOL

It appears that we have reached a moment on this thread suggesting the need for a Haiku. . .


No toilet paper. . .

Yet, Italian marble floors.

Advanced tech. Ideal!



 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
.

. . .
The beautiful Italian travertine fiorito marble in all the Super Power bathrooms.

attachment.php


:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:


That graphic appears to be consistent with the Scientology Axioms. . .

"A Life Static has no mass, no motion, no wavelength, no location in space or time. It has the ability to postulate & perceive."

Updated:

"A Life Static has no mass, no motion, no wavelength, no location in space or time, no toilet paper. It has the ability to poop & pretend (that things are Ideal)."


 

ILove2Lurk

Lisbeth Salander
. . .
I just went to church and asked for forgiveness for HelluvaHoax! for
derailing what started out as a sincere and heartfelt thread . . . down
into the toilet. Literally.

One could say I had a part in that too, for which I am sorry and have
repented. I won't be making any off-topic shoops for a week or two.


InsideChurch3.jpg
:wink2:
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
. . .
I just went to church and asked for forgiveness for HelluvaHoax! for
derailing what started out as a sincere and heartfelt thread . . . down
into the toilet. Literally. :wink2:


LOL

I already tried to get a reprieve from the Gods of Scientology and other deities. They all stated emphatically that I was going to hell and there was nothing I could do about it. They made me clay demo how not even an amends project is going to cut it!

So, I figure, as long as I am going to hell, I might as well just ride this lifetime out degradin'-n-derailin' (in street parlance, "ridin' dirty") and then party in hell for eternity.

I'll be seein' some of y'all there. LOL

BYOB


(bring your own BTs)
 

WildKat

Gold Meritorious Patron
. . .
When Scientologists begin to extract themselves from the false histories and worldviews in the COS, a tremendous disbelief and unwillingness to face some very uncomfortable truths can turn on. Some make a fast pivot and decide to hang on to the more comfortable LRH mythologies they’ve known.

I don't blame them somehow. They’re just trying to avoid a potentially painful and long "dark night of the soul."

What is a dark night of the soul?

- You lose the guru or church that created your identity for you for decades.
- You no longer find any meaning in the stories you used to tell yourself.
- You wake up and find everything that defined who you are is gone.

I’ve always viewed ESMB as a very public truth-delivery website. More than that, it’s a necessary elixir and welcoming hand for that dark time in one’s life when things fall apart a bit.

I don’t know what woulda happened to me without the welcoming hands of y’all it to help me out through my time. And for that I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

:rose:

"Dark Night of the Soul" is a really good descriptor for what a lot of us went through when exiting the cult. The more immersed you are (family and friends in, you're working for Scientologists, living in a Scn community, been on staff or in the SO, done some OT levels, etc.) the darker that experience of leaving can be.

Which makes the lifeline of ESMB so important.
 
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