Bea Kiddo

Crusader
(About me, from another thread and belongs here)

Yes, I remember one time when I was about 5 years old I was standing on the edge of the Fountain Building roof, contemplating jumping. It was about 5 stories. I didnt know if it would kill me. I think what stopped me was the idea that I might survive it and get in a ton of trouble. I remember crying and hating my life.

It was because, as far as I remember, that my mother always treated my brother better because he was older. I had a constant pressure to act like an adult and be an adult. Not just from my mother, from everyone around me like the nannies and other kids.

Cant remember if this was in my story, but it certainly was part of it!

Also another time when I was 16 I used to carry around mercury from 3 thermometers that I broke. I heard it could kill me. I carried that around for about 6 months, in addition to a period where I would not eat or drink ANYTHING but a MochaJava for months. I lost tons of weight and nearly starved myself to death at 16. I got RPFed around that time, and somehow snapped out of it and started eating.
 

Free Being Me

Crusader
(About me, from another thread and belongs here)

Yes, I remember one time when I was about 5 years old I was standing on the edge of the Fountain Building roof, contemplating jumping. It was about 5 stories. I didnt know if it would kill me. I think what stopped me was the idea that I might survive it and get in a ton of trouble. I remember crying and hating my life.

It was because, as far as I remember, that my mother always treated my brother better because he was older. I had a constant pressure to act like an adult and be an adult. Not just from my mother, from everyone around me like the nannies and other kids.

Cant remember if this was in my story, but it certainly was part of it!

Also another time when I was 16 I used to carry around mercury from 3 thermometers that I broke. I heard it could kill me. I carried that around for about 6 months, in addition to a period where I would not eat or drink ANYTHING but a MochaJava for months. I lost tons of weight and nearly starved myself to death at 16. I got RPFed around that time, and somehow snapped out of it and started eating.

:hug:
 

Dulloldfart

Squirrel Extraordinaire
The back wall furthest from the entrance had thousands and thousands of roaches... the wall was just moving with them. So nasty.

I spent one day in Rats' Alley when it had roaches. They weren't the familiar little cockroaches: they were palmetto bugs (the state bird of Florida).

[Edited to remove image. It's here if you want to click on it: http://monicafay.files.wordpress.com/2012/09/imgres-1.jpeg]

They have wings. And they fly. I estimated how many were down there by counting how many were in a square foot and multiplying by the area covered. It was literally in the tens of thousands.

So imagine that you are rolling around on a dolly about 2' by 1' cleaning the floor with a dense covering of these suckers rustling away (they're alive, and they move) maybe a foot or two above your head. For hours.

And Bea might appreciate this. I was pretty freaked out when I first went in there. I then spent about 5 minutes running Hellos and OKs on them, and was OK after that. Can't say I enjoyed it, but it became tolerable.

Paul
 
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Polly

Patron with Honors
They have wings. And they fly. I estimated how many were down there by counting how many were in a square foot and multiplying by the area covered. It was literally in the tens of thousands.

So imagine that you are rolling around on a dolly about 2' by 1' cleaning the floor with these suckers rustling away (they're alive, and they move) maybe a foot or two above your head. For hours.

Paul

Ugh don't remind me... Now imagine those areas from the mind of a child.
 

Dulloldfart

Squirrel Extraordinaire
Ugh don't remind me... Now imagine those areas from the mind of a child.

I think what made most of an impression on me regarding them was one day when I just outside Big Blue one walked in front of me and I deliberately trod on it. I then walked on, and it just ran way! Scary. And I hadn't missed it in that space just in front of the heel as I felt it under my sole. Now, they are possible to splat but you have to work at it.

Paul
 

phenomanon

Canyon
I spent one day in Rats' Alley when it had roaches. They weren't the familiar little cockroaches: they were palmetto bugs (the state bird of Florida).

imgres-1.jpeg


They have wings. And they fly. I estimated how many were down there by counting how many were in a square foot and multiplying by the area covered. It was literally in the tens of thousands.

So imagine that you are rolling around on a dolly about 2' by 1' cleaning the floor with a dense covering of these suckers rustling away (they're alive, and they move) maybe a foot or two above your head. For hours.

And Bea might appreciate this. I was pretty freaked out when I first went in there. I then spent about 5 minutes running Hellos and OKs on them, and was OK after that. Can't say I enjoyed it, but it became tolerable.

Paul


These stories are so horrifying. I will tell one from a Mother's view.

My 15 yr old daughter went to Austin Org in 1971 to do the HSDC while I went to Flag to do FEBC. We were "Public" Scn'ists.

While at Flag, I got a good luck at living conditions, and a dose of the CMO kids attitudes and language. I would not allow my Daughter to join the SO.
I told COS that her Father, a Texas multi-millionaire ( we were divorced) would sue if she were not allowed to leave the Org and return home.
( Whit Whitford, ED of Austin Org, would not release her from the Org).

She was 15. Living off figs on a tree outside the window. The Course Sup was fooking a young student on the floor of the courseroom. A so-called "Clear"
named Ed Davis was fooking a 13 year old retarded student (from Dallas). ( Her Father's name was Ken_____.).

I would've done most anything to keep my Daughter out of that scene.

She hates me and has disconnected from me. I don't know the reason. But I suspect that this decision on my part to not allow her to join the SO is a large part of it.

phenomanon
 

Bea Kiddo

Crusader
I can't look at this thread anymore now that there is that nasty roach in it. Twice. :hide:

To this day my hubby has to deal with them. (We live in Texas... nuff sed...)
 

Dulloldfart

Squirrel Extraordinaire
I removed my image, Bea, but left the link. Three more posts and it will be on the previous page. :)

Paul
 

JustSheila

Crusader
Child abuse in the Sea Org - Jason Barclay's Story

Jason Barclay only left the Sea Org mid 2012. He officially joined the Sea Org at 13 years old, but a recruiter actually first had him sign a billion year contract when he was only 4. :angry: Jason first went public on Mike Rinder's blog, then Marty's. This is Jason's story:

**** MY SEA ORG STORY***

I was 13 years old at Flag while my mom was trying to stay on the level. This was around 1998.

Some recruiters asked me to help save the world and I said ok, as long as I got to see my family (in California) once a year for 3 weeks. I was told I would be on a ‘lineup’ to eventually become a Super Power auditor....
When I joined I was told I’d have a guardian who would be there like a buddy for me. I never saw him again.

I also had my entire collection of ‘Magic The Gathering’ cards I had gotten from all previous birthdays etc. (About 1,000 cards) These were all taken from me, behind my back...

I was told I’d be able to go to school while in the S.O. but I only went to one day of school at a Delphi...

I would get up each day and be at the 9:30am muster. I’d study Scientology data for 5 hours a day and get back home at 10pm after work. Every day for the first 4 months I was verbally abused twice a day by the then EPF IC ‘David Engleheart’.

I would have to do hard manual labor like moving bags of cement around. Sometimes it was gruesome, sometimes it was ok...

See the rest of his story at http://tonyortega.org/2013/04/19/jason-barclays-sea-org-adventure-a-fresh-escapee-details-abuse/

http://www.mikerindersblog.org/jason-barclay-tells-it-like-it-is/
 

JustSheila

Crusader
(About me, from another thread and belongs here)

Yes, I remember one time when I was about 5 years old I was standing on the edge of the Fountain Building roof, contemplating jumping.

I remember that post, Bea, and your descriptions of cleaning Rat's Alley (which I was fortunate enough to get out of doing). Thank goodness you snapped around! We are so fortunate to have you here, and especially your friends and family. What a tragedy it would have been to them and to you if you'd miss out on all this love and living. :bighug: You deserve all good things and I'm so glad you have them now. Keep going, woman. Stand tall. x x x
 

JustSheila

Crusader
These stories are so horrifying. I will tell one from a Mother's view.

My 15 yr old daughter went to Austin Org in 1971 to do the HSDC while I went to Flag to do FEBC. We were "Public" Scn'ists.

While at Flag, I got a good luck at living conditions, and a dose of the CMO kids attitudes and language. I would not allow my Daughter to join the SO....

She hates me and has disconnected from me. I don't know the reason. But I suspect that this decision on my part to not allow her to join the SO is a large part of it.

phenomanon

You are a truly loving mother, Pheno. Thanks for telling your story. You saved her from wasting her entire life and education. That knowledge of the real world (which she wouldn't have had otherwise) may be just the thing that eventually brings her back to you. You gave her what she needs for a good life. I wish you all the best on restoring that relationship some day.
 

Xenu's Boyfriend

Silver Meritorious Patron
Something has recently come to my mind.

The Children's RPF. And the regular RPF.

----

Just because you are under 18 does not mean you are sent to the Children's RPF. If you were in the Cadet Org (basically that is where children were "readied" for the Sea org. Once they graduated, they were allowed to join the Sea Org and do the EPF. There was not much to the requirements except maybe age. I think at the time that I was there, the age to join the SO was 15) and did something bad, you would be assigned to the Children's RPF.

However, if you were stupid enough to join the Sea Org (in my case, at the age of 15) and managed to mess up, you were sent to the adult RPF, which is where I was sent at the age of 16 or barely 17.

Does that count as being a child/child abuse? Are we a child, or a minor? What is the classification of this?

------


Ok, then there are the stories (not even getting into the stories of being raised in the Sea Org, how about what stuff I had to do as a minor in the Sea Org?) from that RPF time... some of them I think are already I n my story but let's put them out here too:

We were building the transformer building across the street (across Ivar) from the HGB. This was to house the transformer for the entire building. I would say that the area was about 30 by 30 feet and had to be dug in order to put the electrical lines, pour concrete, then build the building itself. For some reason, I have no idea why, we did not have a backhoe. I am sure it was because we were RPF and not allowed to operate heavy equipment. And so myself, with the rest of my gang, all dug by hand, with a shovel. Day in and day out. I was 16 I think. I did this all day for days, weeks. I think it was 8 to 10 hours with a meal break. Black boilersuit and shoes. No other equipment or safety gear. I think I was the only child in the batch, but there was no discrimination between age groups. All were expected to contribute the same amount of energy.

The last day, as I was eating breakfast, I felt upset and started getting snarky with the in charge. She was a nice person and asked me what was up. I thought for a second and said, "I feel like I can't breath very well". She looked at my back and said it was swollen and purple on one side. They decided to take me to a chiro - a Scientologist, of course. I had to pay for it, of course. The chiro told me that I ripped all of the muscles in my back and dislocated 2 ribs. She could not believe that I was even getting around at all. She told I would need months of therapy. Of course I did not do it. I just rested that day with ice and hot packs alternately until the swelling went down.

----

And then the ever-so-famous rats alley. Yum. I don't know why it is called rats alley because I have never seen a rat down there... hmm.... but what it is a huge space that covers the entire area of the galley at the PAC base. The height level is only about 4 feet so walking around is hard. We used to have carpet dollys that we would roll around on when we had to work down there. When I was there, it had about 3 inches of the nastiest water on the floor and you would come out of there smelling so gross! Anyways, we would go under and clean the grease traps for the galley (empty them, clean them out and replace the lids), then we would try to help get rid of the MASSIVE amount of large roaches that were down there. The back wall furthest from the entrance had thousands and thousands of roaches... the wall was just moving with them. So nasty. Part of the reason was because back on that wall there was a connection to the main sewer line of LA. I would spend 8 to 10 hours a day for weeks cleaning it out. We finally did get all of the water off the floor and then it wasn't quite so nasty.

-----

I guess I missed prom.

And High School, for that matter.

Bea, I read your longer piece about your time in Scientology and I just want to say I was gripped by it and fascinated, especially when you described your time being on post in Venezuela. I really hope you write a book one day, you have a lot to share and an interesting way to share it. I felt I was there!

I feel so powerless reading testimonials like these about the child abuse, and I am very clear that is exactly what it is. One day, I believe there will be research done, and a major archive, perhaps museum, like the Holocaust or Slavery museums - A Scientology Museum where they will have records of people's stories like this - about what it meant to be a child on the RPF, or to be in the Sea Org. I really do believe that ex-Scientologists recalling their memories of the Sea Org, the Hole, and experiences like the chain locker, overboarding described in previous threads will be compared to people who remember their time in concentration camps, or japanese internment camps in this country. We will look back, as people look back at these other times in history, and we'll ask - how did we allow this to happen? Perhaps their will be trials for the worst offenders.
 

Purple Rain

Crusader
Bea, I read your longer piece about your time in Scientology and I just want to say I was gripped by it and fascinated, especially when you described your time being on post in Venezuela. I really hope you write a book one day, you have a lot to share and an interesting way to share it. I felt I was there!

I feel so powerless reading testimonials like these about the child abuse, and I am very clear that is exactly what it is. One day, I believe there will be research done, and a major archive, perhaps museum, like the Holocaust or Slavery museums - A Scientology Museum where they will have records of people's stories like this - about what it meant to be a child on the RPF, or to be in the Sea Org. I really do believe that ex-Scientologists recalling their memories of the Sea Org, the Hole, and experiences like the chain locker, overboarding described in previous threads will be compared to people who remember their time in concentration camps, or japanese internment camps in this country. We will look back, as people look back at these other times in history, and we'll ask - how did we allow this to happen?

You know a museum is a fantastic idea. I seriously think we should be starting a project like this now.
 

Xenu's Boyfriend

Silver Meritorious Patron
You know a museum is a fantastic idea. I seriously think we should be starting a project like this now.

Thanks PR. Maybe it could be called "The Lisa McPherson Scientology Awareness Museum" or something like that.

I'm sure Tony Ortega, Mark Bunker, Karen De le Carriere, Mark Headley, Jenna Hill and so many others would be open to it, and would help it become a success.

I thought ordinarily that a museum is usually open after the tragedy being memorialized (slavery, Holocaust, 9/11) was over, but maybe that's not necessary in this case.

It would be so great to take people through various displays - the e-meters and books, the testimonial booths and videos, the exhibits, "The Truth About Ron". The RPF exhibit with black boiler suits. A room with clay, ashtrays, dictionaries and other objects specific to the training courses. A "Bridge To Total Freedom" that leads you around the museum in circles. A room dedicated to Quentin Hubbard which discusses the "church" views on homosexuality. Or the "children in Scientology" room, Madam Tussaud like, with exhibits like 40 babies and one nanny, and a child being kept in a chain locker. Overboarding. Children doing heavy manual labor. Throughout the museum you would have rooms with L. Ron Hubbard voiceover, and the Tom Cruise video, with contradictions from those who have survived growing up in the church. Everything would be brought to light.

I can just imagine the "fair game" practices that would go on, unfortunately. People being filmed as they come in and out, Scientologists picketing outside 24/7, you'd have to have security day and night to make sure they didn't burn the place down, and tons of security inside. There would be lawsuits all over the place, but that might be a good thing, because when they cry "defamation" a judge would then have to determine what is true and what is slanderous.

Let the games begin!
 
Something has recently come to my mind.



We were building the transformer building across the street (across Ivar) from the HGB. This was to house the transformer for the entire building. I would say that the area was about 30 by 30 feet and had to be dug in order to put the electrical lines, pour concrete, then build the building itself. For some reason, I have no idea why, we did not have a backhoe. I am sure it was because we were RPF and not allowed to operate heavy equipment. And so myself, with the rest of my gang, all dug by hand, with a shovel. Day in and day out. I was 16 I think. I did this all day for days, weeks. I think it was 8 to 10 hours with a meal break. Black boilersuit and shoes. No other equipment or safety gear. I think I was the only child in the batch, but there was no discrimination between age groups. All were expected to contribute the same amount of energy.


....

I guess I missed prom.

And High School, for that matter.


I remember that project, and the overall way of life. I am a couple months younger than you, and a dude (not trying to be a pig :blush: ) so I don't think it was as hard on me as it was you. I remember a lady in my unit on the RPF that was walking up some stairs with a vacuum, and just collapsed from exhaustion. Crazy life.

Speaking of not using machinery, I remember a project to water proof the roof of the underground parking at CCI. Because it was underground, the roof for the parking was a grassy area for walking and stuff. We had to dig, by hand, an area almost the size of a football field, 3-4 feet deep so they could do the water proofing. Then we had to put it all back, by hand (with shovels & wheel barrow) in the L.A. summer wearing all black. And remember, this was on the RPF, so there was no walking, you had to run.

I remember another time a kid messed up his ankle real bad and wanted to go to the doctor. The RPF superiors told him to WALK TO HIS ORG to get money to go to the doctor (about 3 miles).
 

Bea Kiddo

Crusader
I remember that project, and the overall way of life. I am a couple months younger than you, and a dude (not trying to be a pig :blush: ) so I don't think it was as hard on me as it was you. I remember a lady in my unit on the RPF that was walking up some stairs with a vacuum, and just collapsed from exhaustion. Crazy life.

Speaking of not using machinery, I remember a project to water proof the roof of the underground parking at CCI. Because it was underground, the roof for the parking was a grassy area for walking and stuff. We had to dig, by hand, an area almost the size of a football field, 3-4 feet deep so they could do the water proofing. Then we had to put it all back, by hand (with shovels & wheel barrow) in the L.A. summer wearing all black. And remember, this was on the RPF, so there was no walking, you had to run.

I remember another time a kid messed up his ankle real bad and wanted to go to the doctor. The RPF superiors told him to WALK TO HIS ORG to get money to go to the doctor (about 3 miles).

We became numb to physical and mental pain.
 

phenomanon

Canyon
You are a truly loving mother, Pheno. Thanks for telling your story. You saved her from wasting her entire life and education. That knowledge of the real world (which she wouldn't have had otherwise) may be just the thing that eventually brings her back to you. You gave her what she needs for a good life. I wish you all the best on restoring that relationship some day.

Thank you so much.
I haven't much hope of a 'Re-connection". It's been since 1984 that I have seen her. She was 28 yrs old then. She is 57 yrs old now.
We have both lived lives without the other. I don't think that she would recognise my face if she were to see me, and I might not recognise her.
I am 82 yrs old, and I doubt that I will see her before I die.

Thanks Ron and Mary Sue for all your advise about child rearing. All of us who have lost our loved ones are indebted to you. We will never forget you and what you have added to our lives.


phenomanon
 
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