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Chilling out as I say good-bye

Discussion in 'Life After Scientology' started by Glenda, Sep 24, 2019.

  1. Operating DB

    Operating DB Truman Show Dropout

    I don't have an issue with hating a particular person. I don't necessarily dwell on it and let it eat at me though. I think it's possible to hate and just let it be what it is. I still hate Hubbard and probably always will. I don't have a problem with that.
    Lurker5 and Xenu Xenu Xenu like this.
  2. Lurker5

    Lurker5 Gold Meritorious Patron

  3. Xenu Xenu Xenu

    Xenu Xenu Xenu Patron Meritorious

    That is a great way of looking at things.

    I must say that I am different. I left Scientology decades and decades ago. The only problem was, that I was I spent the first 15 years or so either being an apologist OR pretending that I was never in the cult in the first place (meaning, I tried not to think about it at all). Back and forth, it was those two choices; being and apologist or trying to forget. It was a wasted 15 years where I never got much done in my life or in my head. I am positive that avoiding the subject about my past involvement in it had everything to do with those wasted years of no personal growth. Then again, it wasn't like there was anyone I could talk to about it without boring the crap out of them or confusing them totally. I admit that I read a couple of books on the subject and some of it shocked me and made me indignant but for the most part I tended to gloss over and forget that stuff. It did make me interested in the real Ron Hubbard though.

    The internet changed all that. One day I used an early now forgotten search engine and typed the word, "Scientology". I found a primitive message board and found out that everyone there had something bad to say about Scientology. What I mean is that they weren't just saying it was a fraud or a con, they were saying a lot more than that. I read about abuse after abuse after abuse. It had no effect on me. It was a little unreal to read that stuff and it meant nothing to me and went in one ear and out the other. All I cared about was what Scientology did to me. I just couldn't relate to anyone else's story for the most part. I never really got "it".

    I found OCMB and started posting there. It was cathartic and I found people who understood as well as never-ins who wanted to learn. I posted on FactNet and it was very similar except this time I came to understand that not everybody was the same. I came across anti-Scientologists who were more interested in attacking high profile anti-Scientology activists. I also saw anti-Scientologists who were more interested in trolling the board. The more things change.....

    It was around that time that I started making my "cartoons" and leaving them around in all sorts of places and mailing them to various orgs, something that I still do.

    It took a while but finally I really started to understand the abuses, Hubbard, and all of that culty stuff. I realized that it wasn't just a scam that took MY money and wasted MY time. I finally realized that this was something much, much, worse. Scientology, it's worse than you think. Scientology kills.

    So, I began to change and understand. As I got older I even started to understand myself better. It took a while but I guess I was a late bloomer.

    I am glad I joined this board. It has been great to get to know you and that is all I want to say.


    I'll see some of you on the other board.
  4. Free Being Me

    Free Being Me Crusader

    “The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.” - Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

    I have a humble gratitude for the many people here that taught me the meaning of those words. Glenda and Free To Shine taught me the most post-cult not with a few posts but by example being the change they want to see in the world. The most precious things in the world are free and both of you have selflessly shared freely with everyone willing to listen. I thought since this is good bye here you should know my appreciation for both of you. Thank you for everything.

    The_Fixer likes this.
  5. Glenda

    Glenda Crusader

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    This is the part where I say good-bye. The part where I thank you for all you have shared over the years. The part where I remember the laughter, the sharing of information and the meaningful moments. This is the part where the memories rise up and float around in the air without restrictions. This is the part where the tears fall. Maybe you will never fully know how much ESMB mattered. But please know that lives were saved! ESMB helped transform lives!

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    So @Emma go find a big hill, stand on it and celebrate what you catalysed. Please try to never forget what happened between the shit-fights and the crazy stuff. Lives were saved, lives were transformed. Thank you Emma and all the folk behind the scenes that kept this board functioning.

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    The circle closes. Endings are not always all sweet and smooth. Sometimes they bring with them a panoramic view of all that happened.

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    And now there are no words left.

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    With heart-felt love and gratitude to all of you that made ESMB such a magnificent experience,