Free to shine

Shiny & Free
I would never advocate glossing over the hurt or ignoring the pain. What I do suggest is to continue to love even when the cult does it's best to demolish our relationships.

And, yes, the physical matters - really matters.

I'm going to continue to believe that I can reach those I love on a non physical level even though they feel their best path right now is - above all else - to " do their bridge".

Yes, I've had friends with tears in their eyes tell me they are going to have to disconnect from me. Also gotten harshly worded letters.

As much as it hurts and as much as the cult INTENDED it to hurt that leaves me searching for a way whereby I don't give the cult the pleasure of causing me constant pain over the enforced loss of loved ones.

So, I look at continuing to send love on a non physical level & put it there constantly. I do NOT mean to make less of the physical loss anyone else experiences.

I'm just trying to find my way to deal with it.

You raise a good point actually. For years I was careful of what I posted on these personal matters, I didn't want OSA or anyone to "have a win" at causing pain and ticking off programs. I was also working to protect my parents from further stress and attempts to stop Dad speaking to me ... he really, really appreciated our connection in those awful final days. And then after they passed I have more freedom to speak and I really don't care what they think and if they get a "win" then so be it. Sick and evil it is, so that's their problem. I actually hope they do print off my posts to show my rellies, because it all 'is what it is'. By showing the truth of the matter we also show our humanity, our freedom to speak and experience the good and the bad without fear of judgement.

I am not in constant pain or sitting in a dark room sobbing or anything else they hope and expect. I have a good life with love and laughter ... it's just that when the reminders of the losses caused by scientology come into focus then I have some sad times too.

Merry Christmas to you!
 

Free to shine

Shiny & Free
This Xmas the Scooter family are going to be with a whole bunch of my nieces and nephews and their families for 5 days. Just like family xmases used to be for me before I got sucked into the cult so bad.

It's a response - planned, discussed and fine-tuned - after a family tragedy that saw a few family members (who were always at least slightly "individuated") try to split the very large extended family we have.

I'm blessed with a family that doesn't fall prey to the sort of crap that OSA has managed to inflict on others. In fact, we'll probably have a family showing of "Going Clear" this xmas and me doing a reprise of my Q & A session afterwards.

What the Fanatics will never understand is that this reprehensible behaviour FTS and others have been subjected to is exactly what creates the enemies that have decimated this toxic cult to the current point of almost-collapse.

And the final death of this organisation cannot come too soon.

What a lovely thought - the Scooter family sitting around together watching Going Clear. Makes me smile. Have a good one mate and love to you and yours.
 

I told you I was trouble

Suspended animation
I'm actually very okay with platitudes as long as the sentiment is real. And I know this varies because people grieve differently and have different needs. But the truth is that there are limited things that people can say.

So what matters for me is that someone cares enough to say it and feel it - that they are sending warmth and love and that they care about somebody else's sadness - that they wish it hadn't happened and would change it if they could, and that they want to do or say something comforting - that adds a little happy to the sad - a little sunshine to the rain.

For me, the kind words of others have been like nourishment for the soul, or a kind of net that appears when the bottom falls out of your world. Your world is still gone, but they catch you before you smash on the ground.

One of the Bible readings I chose for my daughter's funeral was Song of Solomon 8:6-7:

6 Set me as a seal over your heart, as a seal upon your arm, for love is as strong as death, passionate love unrelenting as the grave. Its darts are darts of fire— divine flame! 7 Rushing waters can't quench love; rivers can't wash it away. If someone gave all his estate in exchange for love, he would be laughed to utter shame.

And that is so true. I honestly believe that love is the strongest power in the world. My daughter's body has gone, but our love bond remains.

And love from others... How priceless! Who can put a price on that? I have so little and I have lost so much, but still I am rich.




:heartflower::heartflower::heartflower::heartflower::heartflower:
 

prosecco

Patron Meritorious
I'm actually very okay with platitudes as long as the sentiment is real. And I know this varies because people grieve differently and have different needs. But the truth is that there are limited things that people can say.

So what matters for me is that someone cares enough to say it and feel it - that they are sending warmth and love and that they care about somebody else's sadness - that they wish it hadn't happened and would change it if they could, and that they want to do or say something comforting - that adds a little happy to the sad - a little sunshine to the rain.

For me, the kind words of others have been like nourishment for the soul, or a kind of net that appears when the bottom falls out of your world. Your world is still gone, but they catch you before you smash on the ground.

One of the Bible readings I chose for my daughter's funeral was Song of Solomon 8:6-7:

6 Set me as a seal over your heart, as a seal upon your arm, for love is as strong as death, passionate love unrelenting as the grave. Its darts are darts of fire— divine flame! 7 Rushing waters can't quench love; rivers can't wash it away. If someone gave all his estate in exchange for love, he would be laughed to utter shame.

And that is so true. I honestly believe that love is the strongest power in the world. My daughter's body has gone, but our love bond remains.

And love from others... How priceless! Who can put a price on that? I have so little and I have lost so much, but still I am rich.

Oh my god, your daughter's funeral. I have no idea what happened, but no parent should have to go through this. I am so so sorry.
 

Gizmo

Rabble Rouser
So, the big decision for Christmas this year is what time on Christmas Eve do we open the Champagne & have a roast to love.

There'll, by choice of being laid back, be no elaborately prepared meal !

Added : I went to get the Champagne & thought bew years Eve was a worthy celebration, too.
So, bless my black heart I got 2 bottles of Champagne to celebrate with loved ones on both days.

I do sincerely wish each of you a very great Christmas Season !
 
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WildKat

Gold Meritorious Patron
It's a season for sadness but also thankfulness for a lot of us. Sad for what we've lost and thankful for what we've gained (a life free of cult influence.)

The focus is on family and friends at this time, and partly due to the cult (but not completely) I am celebrating without the comfort of kids and grandkids. I say not completely because when I had the chance to have kids, I chose not to because I just felt like it was too much expected and I wanted to rebel, and "I'm just not maternal material" and then there was the selfishness aspect, etc. etc. But the concept of "don't waste this brief breath and the chance to go free and make it" blah blah, that just helped cement the choice not to have kids. Made it "OK"

All water under the bridge...no pun intended.

What I am thankful for is having my new mate (who is a never-in) who really loves and cares about me. And though we just have each other this Christmas....all other family dead or with their own kids and grand kids) we are celebrating with new neighbors. One of them a near alcoholic with no family at all, who would probably be completely alone if not for our invite to come and share ham and potatoes with us tomorrow. He was in tears as he accepted the invitation.

This is the spirit of Christmas for those of us with no family.
 

Gizmo

Rabble Rouser
It's a season for sadness but also thankfulness for a lot of us. Sad for what we've lost and thankful for what we've gained (a life free of cult influence.)
<snip>

Had I not walked the path I walked I can't see how I'd arrived at now having the people with me who are in my life full of love.

The past ? All I have to do is change my mind. Looking forward I see beauty, Love, goodness so giving thought to what happened in the past just doesn't see to add to my current journey.

I'm not sad. I see life full of love.

It'll all come right.
 
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Many of us face hard times at Christmas due to the disconnection or loss of family or friends. You can't help but be reminded of how things used to be, should be, could be if it weren't for (insert reason). For ex scientologists it is particularly due to disconnection, that brutal ripping apart and destruction of families that leaves devastation in it's wake.

All we did was speak our truth, walk the talk with our integrity, so the loss seems so very unfair.

It is unfair, it is evil, yet sometimes we may need reminding that standing tall and walking away was the right thing to do. I think gratitude for the lives we now live, for the freedom of speech and thought is also something to be treasured and helps a little in maintaining balance.

For me the hardest thing is the alienation of extended family, those who have been cleverly manipulated by the scientology influence and who don't even know it. It's easy enough for a scientologist to do - love bomb relatives while waging a whispering campaign. Find a relative's "button" and push it for all it's worth, lie and point it in my direction, until it's just easier for the relative to take the easy path and go along with the flow. In my family there has been an intense and prolonged campaign that has lasted over 8 years to do this. And it has been successful regarding disconnection of most relatives.

But you know what? I have come to appreciate so much the few who have stood beside me, who are aware enough to understand what integrity means, what 'family' means even if we didn't have an upbringing that taught us that. We have a small core family ourselves and we care and support each other. I forgive those who don't question what they are told and who take that easy path. I grieve for the loss of contact with three of my children and most siblings and their families, the sad scientology influenced death of my parents, and deal with it when that grief arises. And I am so, so grateful for those who have come into my life as substitute family and given me love and support. There are indeed angels out there.

This is a good article to read if the grief is hard ....

http://www.upworthy.com/if-the-holi...g-these-4-things-could-really-help?c=tpstream

Merry Christmas to all and I wish you love and happiness. Be kind to yourself.
heart breaking :(
 

uniquemand

Unbeliever
Being true to yourself is important. Modeling leaving Scientology for others is also important.

One day, barring something tragic, the person will, themselves, leave as well. When they do, they'll remember the way you left, and maybe come find you.

I lost my kids for over ten years, but they came to find me when they left.

I hope this happens for everyone else. Remember, more than 99% of people who were ever Scientologists no longer are.
 

Free to shine

Shiny & Free
Being true to yourself is important. Modeling leaving Scientology for others is also important.

One day, barring something tragic, the person will, themselves, leave as well. When they do, they'll remember the way you left, and maybe come find you.

I lost my kids for over ten years, but they came to find me when they left.

I hope this happens for everyone else. Remember, more than 99% of people who were ever Scientologists no longer are.

I've seen the photos of you and your kids now... I remember the heartbreak you posted when it looked so bleak. It warms the heart, thanks mate.
 

Jump

Operating teatime
Being true to yourself is important. Modeling leaving Scientology for others is also important.

One day, barring something tragic, the person will, themselves, leave as well. When they do, they'll remember the way you left, and maybe come find you.

I lost my kids for over ten years, but they came to find me when they left.

I hope this happens for everyone else. Remember, more than 99% of people who were ever Scientologists no longer are.


That's a great fact to remember.

It also means that many of the millions of members that Scientology claims are now actively protesting against the calculated evils that Scientology commits daily.
 

Miss Ellie

Miss Ellie
I would love to have a national re-connection day - where everyone who is disconnected from anyone, in or out of the Sciobots, just calls, drops a postcard, e-mail, etc.

Just say I was thinking of you today and how much I love/like/admire/whatever you. Give me a call/visit/e-mail/whatever when you want.

If everyone on the same day did the same thing there would be a ripple in the universe that might become a hug wave that crashes on the spiritual shore.

Might or might not make a difference.... ya never know.

Until then my thoughts are with those that live with disconnection everyday. I hope that today your pain is eased and that your tomorrow is always filled with hope and joy.

:unsure:
 

Purple Rain

Crusader
On Christmas Day I Skyped with my two youngest remaining daughters, which was precious as it always is. Tom and I were just going to go out and eat at the truck stop alone because it was one of the very few places open on Christmas. The night before we had wandered around taking pictures of the Christmas lights to maybe post in the other Christmas thread, and in the early hours of Christmas morning, just after we got home, I got up the courage to message Tom's daughter and invite her to join us. I was pretty nervous about it, because I hadn't met her before, and she had been raised a Jehovah's Witness.

I really wasn't sure where she stood in relation to those things, but Christmas and birthday celebrations are huge no-no's for members of that group according to Tom.

Anyway, to my surprise and delight, she was awake and willing to come out to lunch with us.

I took my daughter's ashes with me - discreetly because I didn't want to freak anyone out, but it felt too wrong to leave her at home - and the little koala bear I bought for Denise, which still looks like new.

I was really worried about giving her a present on Christmas, but it felt right to do, and I really wanted to.

It was too late to go shopping for something, but I thought of the little bear and it just felt so right. I felt like Denise would be happy about it - maybe even gave me the idea. Then I put it in a gift bag covered with pink roses that my daughter had used to give me a golden bracelet with Scarlett's name, which also looked like new even though it had been jostled around in my handbag for weeks.

It was so nice to have her there with us. It felt like a family. Even though I talked too much because they are so quiet, and I laughed nervously a lot of the time, I felt truly happy on a difficult day.

Then I awkwardly offered my gift, and her face lit up like a little child, and that moment just made my day.

Later, one of my daughters posted pictures of the family Christmas. It was an odd feeling, like when Tom's parents died and people kept posting pictures of events he wasn't allowed to go to, and that funny feeling of pain and sort of not existing. Especially seeing pictures of my daughter who doesn't speak to me was hard.

I didn't "like" the pictures on Facebook, although I am glad they had a nice day.

The day started with me thinking of Scarlett and wishing her Merry Christmas, and ended with me taking her ashes out of the drawer in the middle of the night because I felt that she wanted a cuddle.

It was also hard because it was our anniversary and I was sniffling over my daughter's ashes instead of wrapping myself around Tom.

A year ago she was still alive and we were discovering each other for the first time. So much has changed in a year.

On the bright side we have arranged to spend New Year's with Tom's daughter and catch up for a meal every few weeks, so it is like a reconnection happening in a way.
 

exseaorgclocmoflagetc

Patron with Honors
bumpity ..bump (lol..someone told me I have to "bump" on old threads, not sure if I do it right)

Its been a long journey with me out and family still in, many(nearly all) missed holidays due to dissconnection. Last text at Christmas "I hereby disconnect" I hereby? lol(but not lol)

after much pushing for a family together for christmas. the conversation revolved around the church and nothing more , nothing less. That gets annoying when your just trying to relax and enjoy the holiday and family and want to get close and know how their lives are.

I finally realized there is nothing I can do to help release the robot body snatcher from within that has overtaken their soul. I believe after so long, its more robot now and less human in there, the human part is ,use it or lose it, and its lost probably forever. In a sense its a relief, no more struggles

Happy Holidays!:cool::confused::surrender::hourglass:

conjuring-scribe-to-pen-body-snatchers-remake-696x464.jpg
 
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This is NOT OK !!!!

Gold Meritorious Patron
You're doing just fine with the bumping - and I'm glad you're digging into some old threads - they bring back many good memories from this board while at the same time refreshing our understanding of evils unleashed on the world by Ron.

Thanks for being here.

Merry Christmas
 
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