Church of Scientology 50% Discount on Religious Status

CommunicatorIC

@IndieScieNews on Twitter
Church of Scientology of the Valley 50% Discount on Religious Status

From Mike Rinder's Thursday Funnies: http://www.mikerindersblog.org/thursday-funnies-33/


STATUS.jpg
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
..

This has taken Scientological Stupid to an all new lowwwwww level.

Let's break it down.

One of the super-deluded, rich cult suckers (probably Bart "Whale" Simpson) donated $1,000,000 to Scientology. Let's get that fact straight. They already committed that $1M and the COS has that money right now in their tight clenched fist.

The $1M isn't some future "IF". It has already happened.

Got that part? LOL. Okay, let's finish this clay demo then. . .

NEXT: The COS tells some super-deluded, not-so-rich cult suckers that they can have 2X status for each dollar they donate. Nothing about this has anything whatsoever to do with the $1M that is already banked from the whale. It's just a marketing gimmick that "sounds" like it makes sense.

In other words, they try to convince the mark that:

* If they don't donate now, the $1M is going away. LOL. But the COS already has the $1M

* That there is only a limited amount of time to get twice the status for each dollar they donate. The motivation to the Scientologist, then, has NOTHING to do with wanting to help the church. Instead the COS is promoting that the motivation should be wanting to help themselves with more status in the eyes of their fellow OTs.

* But it's "Stolen Valor". The guy donating half the money for the same big "status" knows that they never were really super upstat like the folks to donated the full amount.​

In other words, the church is stealing their money for nothing--just a "status" which is only a word.

A word! LOL

And, in turn, the parishioners are stealing their statuses because they didn't actually pay for them at the posted rate. It's like having an entire hospital wing dedicated to your name when you know you only donated $50 to the cafeteria to buy a new set of mops.

Everything is a scam in Scientology.

The statuses are scams.

The donation schedule is a scam because you don't really have to pay that amount on certain days.

The entire Bridge is a scam because there are no Clears or OTs.

Have I mentioned recently that Scientologists are status-seeking, delusional F/Ning liars?
 

Jump

Operating teatime
..

This has taken Scientological Stupid to an all new lowwwwww level.

Let's break it down.

One of the super-deluded, rich cult suckers (probably Bart "Whale" Simpson) donated $1,000,000 to Scientology. Let's get that fact straight. They already committed that $1M and the COS has that money right now in their tight clenched fist.

The $1M isn't some future "IF". It has already happened.

Got that part? LOL. Okay, let's finish this clay demo then. . .

NEXT: The COS tells some super-deluded, not-so-rich cult suckers that they can have 2X status for each dollar they donate. Nothing about this has anything whatsoever to do with the $1M that is already banked from the whale. It's just a marketing gimmick that "sounds" like it makes sense.

In other words, they try to convince the mark that:
* If they don't donate now, the $1M is going away. LOL. But the COS already has the $1M

* That there is only a limited amount of time to get twice the status for each dollar they donate. The motivation to the Scientologist, then, has NOTHING to do with wanting to help the church. Instead the COS is promoting that the motivation should be wanting to help themselves with more status in the eyes of their fellow OTs.

* But it's "Stolen Valor". The guy donating half the money for the same big "status" knows that they never were really super upstat like the folks to donated the full amount.​

In other words, the church is stealing their money for nothing--just a "status" which is only a word.

A word! LOL

And, in turn, the parishioners are stealing their statuses because they didn't actually pay for them at the posted rate. It's like having an entire hospital wing dedicated to your name when you know you only donated $50 to the cafeteria to buy a new set of mops.

Everything is a scam in Scientology.

The statuses are scams.

The donation schedule is a scam because you don't really have to pay that amount on certain days.

The entire Bridge is a scam because there are no Clears or OTs.

Have I mentioned recently that Scientologists are status-seeking, delusional F/Ning liars?

Yeah I think you mentioned that some time.

To misuse a phrase: Lies, F/Ning lies and scientologists.
 

Leland

Crusader
They'll have to use an asterisk by each status.....

Benefactor*



* only paid half....cheated....its gonna cost them double now in ethics handlings.....
 

Jump

Operating teatime
They'll have to use an asterisk by each status.....

Benefactor*



* only paid half....cheated....its gonna cost them double now in ethics handlings.....

:lol:

So now Scientology is out exchange with the donations which is a bad thing, but more people might donate which is a good thing but they'll donate less which is a bad thing. But they will have better statuses which is a good thing. And remember YOU pulled in all the bad things and the good things weren't good enough which is a bad thing so you pulled that in too.

Off to Ethics with you!

:mindblow:
 

Leland

Crusader
Plus....sounds like quite a scheme and ploy to get the whale to put some more money on the table....

Whom ever it was....got took too....
 

TheOriginalBigBlue

Gold Meritorious Patron
..

This has taken Scientological Stupid to an all new lowwwwww level.

Let's break it down.

One of the super-deluded, rich cult suckers (probably Bart "Whale" Simpson) donated $1,000,000 to Scientology. Let's get that fact straight. They already committed that $1M and the COS has that money right now in their tight clenched fist.

The $1M isn't some future "IF". It has already happened.

Got that part? LOL. Okay, let's finish this clay demo then. . .

NEXT: The COS tells some super-deluded, not-so-rich cult suckers that they can have 2X status for each dollar they donate. Nothing about this has anything whatsoever to do with the $1M that is already banked from the whale. It's just a marketing gimmick that "sounds" like it makes sense.

In other words, they try to convince the mark that:
* If they don't donate now, the $1M is going away. LOL. But the COS already has the $1M

* That there is only a limited amount of time to get twice the status for each dollar they donate. The motivation to the Scientologist, then, has NOTHING to do with wanting to help the church. Instead the COS is promoting that the motivation should be wanting to help themselves with more status in the eyes of their fellow OTs.

* But it's "Stolen Valor". The guy donating half the money for the same big "status" knows that they never were really super upstat like the folks to donated the full amount.​

In other words, the church is stealing their money for nothing--just a "status" which is only a word.

A word! LOL

And, in turn, the parishioners are stealing their statuses because they didn't actually pay for them at the posted rate. It's like having an entire hospital wing dedicated to your name when you know you only donated $50 to the cafeteria to buy a new set of mops.

Everything is a scam in Scientology.

The statuses are scams.

The donation schedule is a scam because you don't really have to pay that amount on certain days.

The entire Bridge is a scam because there are no Clears or OTs.

Have I mentioned recently that Scientologists are status-seeking, delusional F/Ning liars?

Most excellent! It is even simpler than that. As you state, they already have the money. Are they really going to promote an anonymous donor who could potentially renege on a million dollars? So where or when it came from is irrelevant. The anonymous donor is probably DM and he just made a calculated budgeting decision to subsidize this venture because it wasn't going to make it. He can't just bail them out or they all will expect it.

It is a huge devaluation of the Status system. There is now regular Status and Valley Status.

This stuff is new to me and I don't understand the whole concept but it does just look like the old Indulgences extortion. That played a key role in the Lutheran Reformation because the Catholic Church was using it to finance the renovation of the Sistine Chapel. And here we are again, only this time it is the Valley Org or the Super Power building. Do they not know the kind of resentment this scam ultimately creates? Churches do get donations but they provide a service to the community and charity gets passed on. Its not the same as buying a seat on the Muni to OT Heaven.
 

olska

Silver Meritorious Patron
..
<snip>
Have I mentioned recently that Scientologists are status-seeking, delusional F/Ning liars?

Nothing says it better than the whole "move up to your next status!" game. What a farce!

Even though I think the tek is drek and almost all the promised "gains" were/are either lies or hypnotically-induced temporary states of euphoric delusion, still, the "move on to your next step on the Bridge" made a kind of "real" sense -- there was the hope and promise that it might actually mean something: more ability, better health, longer life, spiritual enlightenment, heightened awareness, blah blah blah -- something!

"... your next status" only means that in the eyes of the other cultees, you're a slightly bigger big shot than you were the day before. How absolutely un-spiritual and crassly materialistic is that?? (rhetorical question)

I'm soooooo thankful that these people are not in charge of any part of my health and well being.
 

phenomanon

Canyon
Nothing says it better than the whole "move up to your next status!" game. What a farce!

Even though I think the tek is drek and almost all the promised "gains" were/are either lies or hypnotically-induced temporary states of euphoric delusion, still, the "move on to your next step on the Bridge" made a kind of "real" sense -- there was the hope and promise that it might actually mean something: more ability, better health, longer life, spiritual enlightenment, heightened awareness, blah blah blah -- something!

"... your next status" only means that in the eyes of the other cultees, you're a slightly bigger big shot than you were the day before. How absolutely un-spiritual and crassly materialistic is that?? (rhetorical question)

I'm soooooo thankful that these people are not in charge of any part of my health and well being.


(deleted)
 

Enthetan

Master of Disaster
Most excellent! It is even simpler than that. As you state, they already have the money. Are they really going to promote an anonymous donor who could potentially renege on a million dollars? So where or when it came from is irrelevant. The anonymous donor is probably DM and he just made a calculated budgeting decision to subsidize this venture because it wasn't going to make it. He can't just bail them out or they all will expect it.

This assumes there is even a hidden whale.

What does it cost the org to proclaim "George has Benefactor Status"? Nothing. If this ruse results in some extra $$$ in the org, it's all cool.

Near the end of the Roman Empire, they were increasingly debasing their coins. A "silver denarius" might be a silver coating over lead or copper. What the org appears to be doing is debasing their coinage -- public "status".
 

WildKat

Gold Meritorious Patron
They'll have to use an asterisk by each status.....

Benefactor*



* only paid half....cheated....its gonna cost them double now in ethics handlings.....

PLUS they will likely get pounded on to make good on the other half! Like, before next Thursday at 2:00! The excuse will be that some other poor Schlub is trying to get a paid status and needs their help, just like they were "helped". The whole thing is just another reg gimmick!

Another way to wring more and more money out of increasingly bankrupt marks.
 

TheOriginalBigBlue

Gold Meritorious Patron
Nothing says it better than the whole "move up to your next status!" game. What a farce!

Even though I think the tek is drek and almost all the promised "gains" were/are either lies or hypnotically-induced temporary states of euphoric delusion, still, the "move on to your next step on the Bridge" made a kind of "real" sense -- there was the hope and promise that it might actually mean something: more ability, better health, longer life, spiritual enlightenment, heightened awareness, blah blah blah -- something!

"... your next status" only means that in the eyes of the other cultees, you're a slightly bigger big shot than you were the day before. How absolutely un-spiritual and crassly materialistic is that?? (rhetorical question)

I'm soooooo thankful that these people are not in charge of any part of my health and well being.

OK, I think Wiseoldgoat just brought me up to speed. My, how we have come a long way since my $50. Lifetime HASI Membership. Still have that card, thank goodness!

http://wiseoldgoat.com/index.html

An Overview of Scientology

http://www.wiseoldgoat.com/papers-scientology/hubbard_hasi_vs_ias.html‬

IAS membership (1984 - present)
Free 6 months membership, receive an introductory membershipcard, receive the magazine ‘Impact Introductory Membership Edition’, entitled to 20% discount on services and materials, membership is not renewable
Membership pin, originally this was for free. Today it has to be purchased separately, cost $7,00
Annual membership (cost $300 at its introduction in 1984, today $450), receive the magazine ‘Impact’, entitled to 20% discount on services and materials, and all other benefits and privileges granted by the Association
Lifetime membership (cost $2,000 at its introduction in 1984, today $3,000), receive the magazine ‘Impact’, entitled to 20% discount on services and materials, and all other benefits and privileges granted by the Association


Since I originally published this page some changes again have occurred. And you can actually read about that for yourself on their own website, see here (external link) (last checked: 5 Mar 2015).
The Annual membership had gone up to $500.00 U.S. And the Lifetime membership is now set at $5,000.00 U.S.
Take note that the previous discount for materials of 20% now was lowered to just 10%.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
..

Nothing says it better than the whole "move up to your next status!" game. What a farce!

Even though I think the tek is drek and almost all the promised "gains" were/are either lies or hypnotically-induced temporary states of euphoric delusion, still, the "move on to your next step on the Bridge" made a kind of "real" sense -- there was the hope and promise that it might actually mean something: more ability, better health, longer life, spiritual enlightenment, heightened awareness, blah blah blah -- something!

"... your next status" only means that in the eyes of the other cultees, you're a slightly bigger big shot than you were the day before. How absolutely un-spiritual and crassly materialistic is that?? (rhetorical question)

I'm soooooo thankful that these people are not in charge of any part of my health and well being
.

..

Outstanding post!

A) First they love bomb you, stand, applaud, cheer and give you an oversized certificate for "attaining" the delusional mental illness known as OT--a state where you euphorically believe you have supernatural powers.

B) Then later in time, you are able (when you need a fix) to increase your euphoria by love bombing and cheering for yourself, simply by purchasing a "status".​

The "status" confirms & validates the demonstrable fact that you have extraordinary OT powers which enabled you to make hugely magnificent donations to the organization that is promising it will use said funds to "safeguard" and "disseminate" your mental illness to others.

You may now go to the Examiner. . .



"Would you want others to have the same
[STRIKE]gains[/STRIKE] mental illness as your own?"
 

SPsince83

Gold Meritorious Patron
..

This has taken Scientological Stupid to an all new lowwwwww level.

Let's break it down.

One of the super-deluded, rich cult suckers (probably Bart "Whale" Simpson) donated $1,000,000 to Scientology. Let's get that fact straight. They already committed that $1M and the COS has that money right now in their tight clenched fist.

The $1M isn't some future "IF". It has already happened.

Got that part? LOL. Okay, let's finish this clay demo then. . .

NEXT: The COS tells some super-deluded, not-so-rich cult suckers that they can have 2X status for each dollar they donate. Nothing about this has anything whatsoever to do with the $1M that is already banked from the whale. It's just a marketing gimmick that "sounds" like it makes sense.

In other words, they try to convince the mark that:
* If they don't donate now, the $1M is going away. LOL. But the COS already has the $1M

* That there is only a limited amount of time to get twice the status for each dollar they donate. The motivation to the Scientologist, then, has NOTHING to do with wanting to help the church. Instead the COS is promoting that the motivation should be wanting to help themselves with more status in the eyes of their fellow OTs.

* But it's "Stolen Valor". The guy donating half the money for the same big "status" knows that they never were really super upstat like the folks to donated the full amount.​

In other words, the church is stealing their money for nothing--just a "status" which is only a word.

A word! LOL

And, in turn, the parishioners are stealing their statuses because they didn't actually pay for them at the posted rate. It's like having an entire hospital wing dedicated to your name when you know you only donated $50 to the cafeteria to buy a new set of mops.

Everything is a scam in Scientology.

The statuses are scams.

The donation schedule is a scam because you don't really have to pay that amount on certain days.

The entire Bridge is a scam because there are no Clears or OTs.

Have I mentioned recently that Scientologists are status-seeking, delusional F/Ning liars?

I'm sorry Hoaxie, but could you tell me what your first clue of that last statement was? I'm having difficulty integrating that thought into my own reality.
 

Enthetan

Master of Disaster
IAS membership (1984 - present)
Free 6 months membership, receive an introductory membershipcard, receive the magazine ‘Impact Introductory Membership Edition’, entitled to 20% discount on services and materials, membership is not renewable
Membership pin, originally this was for free. Today it has to be purchased separately, cost $7,00
Annual membership (cost $300 at its introduction in 1984, today $450), receive the magazine ‘Impact’, entitled to 20% discount on services and materials, and all other benefits and privileges granted by the Association
Lifetime membership (cost $2,000 at its introduction in 1984, today $3,000), receive the magazine ‘Impact’, entitled to 20% discount on services and materials, and all other benefits and privileges granted by the Association

I had gotten myself and wife lifetime IAS memberships in the 80's. When first spawn-of-Enthetan arrived, I obtained a yearly membership for Spawn (money was tight at the time). The following year, money got tighter, and I let Spawn's membership lapse.

I got a VERY nasty letter from some IAS goon addressed to baby Spawn, laying a big guilt trip. I crumpled up the letter, and membership stayed lapsed. That was another straw on the camel's back.
 
Top