Church of Scientology 50% Discount on Religious Status

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
..

PLUS they will likely get pounded on to make good on the other half! Like, before next Thursday at 2:00! The excuse will be that some other poor Schlub is trying to get a paid status and needs their help, just like they were "helped". The whole thing is just another reg gimmick!

Another way to wring more and more money out of increasingly bankrupt marks.


:hysterical:


IAS REG
Very well done on achieving your Patron With Honors
status yesterday! We really need you to up your
status to Gold Patron Meritorious status.

SCIENTOLOGIST
But, that Patron With Honors maxed out
all my charge cards and I also had to take
out a third mortgage to donate $250,000.
I don't even know how I am going to
make the payments for all that! And
now you want me to quadruple my
$250,000 donation to a million dollars?!

IAS REG
I can see that you are a very successful OT.
I see you are wearing gold and sapphire
encrusted Cartier special edition cufflinks. Why
those must have cost you at least $35,000.
I see you are wearing a Harry Winston diamond
ring that looks to be about 3 carats--I don't have
my loupe with me but that had to set you
back at least $250,000. I also see you are wearing a
Patek & Phillippe $380,000 perpetual calendar watch.
What good do these meaningless trinkets do you or the planet?

SCIENTOLOGIST
And what? You want me to sell these
"meaningless trinkets" and donate the money?
And what will I get as my exchange for donating
an additional $750,000.

IAS REG
We will give you a fabulous Patron Meritorious
gold and diamond encrusted lapel pin.
 

CommunicatorIC

@IndieScieNews on Twitter
..

This has taken Scientological Stupid to an all new lowwwwww level.
$
Let's break it down.

One of the super-deluded, rich cult suckers (probably Bart "Whale" Simpson) donated $1,000,000 to Scientology.
Personally, I don't think there was any $1,000,000 contribution. I don't think there is any "benefactor."

Oh, the Church of Scientology said there is a secret ""benefactor" who made a $1,000,000 contribution for a "match fund?"

Yeah, that's convincing.

Please see Mike Rinder's post: Scientology Fundraising Techniques- Use of “Shills”

I think the benefactor, the $1,000,000 "contribution," and "match fund" are imaginary. I think this is a straight discount on religious status, religious labels in the church of Scientology.

Prove me wrong.
 
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HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
..
I'm sorry Hoaxie, but could you tell me what your first clue of that last statement was? I'm having difficulty integrating that thought into my own reality.


LOLOLOL

My first sense that something was wrong is when the term "COS" began to take on new meanings.

At first it meant "Church of Scientology" and the definition provided for Scientology was "science". What an excellent beginning!

Later, the COS began to morph into "Cult of Suckers". That probably would have been a good point to "end the session". LOL
 

Gizmo

Rabble Rouser
So, let me get this straight.....

Some cult paid full price for his 'satus' in the cult.

Now, somebody else can buy the exact same 'Status' for half price ?

Does the first sucker feel gyped at all ?

Does this mean now ALL services ( do they even do those these days ?) are going to half price ?

It ain't getting weird - it IS weird !
 

Jump

Operating teatime
So, let me get this straight.....

Some cult paid full price for his 'satus' in the cult.

Now, somebody else can buy the exact same 'Status' for half price ?

Does the first sucker feel gyped at all ?

Does this mean now ALL services ( do they even do those these days ?) are going to half price ?

It ain't getting weird - it IS weird !


Not or weird at all. The Marcabian star fleet local advanced platoon are holding the planet Teegeeac in an unstable tractor beam which is, via nuclear resonance, amplifying status levels achieved in this short time window. Don't miss out!!!!!!!!
 

Enthetan

Master of Disaster
P
I think the benefactor, the $1,000,000 "contribution," and "match fund" are imaginary. I think this is a straight discount on religious status, religious labels in the church of Scientology.

Prove me wrong.

I said about the same thing up-thread. I think that Scn is close to done. Their existing whales have already purchased all the status they can afford. None can afford the next level up.

This discount is a way to eke out a last bit of donation from people.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
"Hey! LRon! Hey, how about a little something for the effort?"

..

So, what DO the Hubbardites actually GET for donating all their cash, liquidating all their assets and going into deep debt, bankruptcy and worse?

Let's ask a winning Scientologist. . .


Originally Posted by Billy Blowdown
I'd love to share my huge, unprecedented win with other terminals on this planet!!! I sold my house and car and moved up in my IAS status!!! I may be using public transportation and homeless, but the reg told me that my eternity has been safeguarded!!! So, I've got that goin' for me!!!



[video=youtube;X48G7Y0VWW4]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X48G7Y0VWW4[/video]​
 
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HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
..
Originally Posted by CommunicatorIC
I think the benefactor, the $1,000,000 "contribution," and "match fund" are imaginary. I think this is a straight discount on religious status, religious labels in the church of Scientology.


I said about the same thing up-thread. I think that Scn is close to done. Their existing whales have already purchased all the status they can afford. None can afford the next level up.

This discount is a way to eke out a last bit of donation from people.


Lucky for cult management that their "parishioners" are sponge-headed dupes that soak up all the ridiculous schemes and scams that they are fed.

Now, management is wringing out the sponge for all it's worth, down to the last drop. Let's listen in on a reg cycle happening with Billy Blowdown's brother. . .


SPONGE BOB BLOWDOWN
Hey, back in '86 when after Ron exteriorized from
his impediment, I donated $100,000 to safeguard
the planet's future by embedding his books on eternal
titanium plates. But, all those plates are squirrel now,
aren't they? I mean, back then you ordered me to turn
in all my old books because of all the transcription
errors when the Basics came out, right?

REG
Yes, of course we can't have
you reading squirrel books by Ron!

SPONGE BOB BLOWDOWN
But, weren't those the books that Ron taught everyone
with for 36 years? How are they squirrel?

REG
You are right. However, at that point in the time track,
on this planet, LRH had not yet discovered "The Basics".

SPONGE BOB BLOWDOWN
Wait...didn't Ron write the Basics?

REG
You're just Q & Aing and getting all hung up
on significance and think-think. Listen, my friend,
Ron is counting on you to donate another $100,000.
Are you going to take responsibility for sabotaging
Ron's tech by burying those squirrel discs or not?!!


[At this point, Sponge Bob Blowdown hangs
his head and com lags for the longest time.
Then, surrendering to Dr. Hubbard's
inexorable command intention, he slowly
begins to reach into the secret, reg-proof
pocket he had sewn into his sport coat's
inner lining, which contain several
unused, emergency credit cards.]



 
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CommunicatorIC

@IndieScieNews on Twitter
The 50% Discount on Scientology Religious Status ended 7/2/15 at 2:00 pm

The 50% Discount on Scientology Religious Status ended 7/2/15 at 2:00 pm.

From Mike Rinder's Thursday Funnies.

http://www.mikerindersblog.org/thursday-funnies-38/

DEAD.jpg
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
...

"LAST CHANCE!!!"
The matching donations is expiring!
Warning! Time is running out! Hurry!
This is absolutely your last chance to become a...
Humanitarian!!!


Scientology: The only organization in the world which threatens people with losing their "last chance" to become a Humanitarian, as if they are controlling the life boats on the Titanic. Please note that in the real world, anybody can become a humanitarian at any time whatsoever, without even donating money! The difference is that (unlike Scientology) you only get a lower case "h" instead of the far more impressive and blingy capital "H".
 

Churchill

Gold Meritorious Patron
..

This has taken Scientological Stupid to an all new lowwwwww level.

Let's break it down.

One of the super-deluded, rich cult suckers (probably Bart "Whale" Simpson) donated $1,000,000 to Scientology. Let's get that fact straight. They already committed that $1M and the COS has that money right now in their tight clenched fist.

The $1M isn't some future "IF". It has already happened.

Got that part? LOL. Okay, let's finish this clay demo then. . .

NEXT: The COS tells some super-deluded, not-so-rich cult suckers that they can have 2X status for each dollar they donate. Nothing about this has anything whatsoever to do with the $1M that is already banked from the whale. It's just a marketing gimmick that "sounds" like it makes sense.

In other words, they try to convince the mark that:
* If they don't donate now, the $1M is going away. LOL. But the COS already has the $1M

* That there is only a limited amount of time to get twice the status for each dollar they donate. The motivation to the Scientologist, then, has NOTHING to do with wanting to help the church. Instead the COS is promoting that the motivation should be wanting to help themselves with more status in the eyes of their fellow OTs.

* But it's "Stolen Valor". The guy donating half the money for the same big "status" knows that they never were really super upstat like the folks to donated the full amount.​

In other words, the church is stealing their money for nothing--just a "status" which is only a word.

A word! LOL

And, in turn, the parishioners are stealing their statuses because they didn't actually pay for them at the posted rate. It's like having an entire hospital wing dedicated to your name when you know you only donated $50 to the cafeteria to buy a new set of mops.

Everything is a scam in Scientology.

The statuses are scams.

The donation schedule is a scam because you don't really have to pay that amount on certain days.

The entire Bridge is a scam because there are no Clears or OTs.

Have I mentioned recently that Scientologists are status-seeking, delusional F/Ning liars?


Or just delusional "effing" liars.

Scientology has finally figured out how to sell zilch, zero, nada ​at half price!
 

Gizmo

Rabble Rouser
Half priced from a half assed outfit staffed by half minded robots - oh, how do I get my ass half in THAT line ?
 

guanoloco

As-Wased
Re: The 50% Discount on Scientology Religious Status ended 7/2/15 at 2:00 pm

The 50% Discount on Scientology Religious Status ended 7/2/15 at 2:00 pm.

From Mike Rinder's Thursday Funnies.

http://www.mikerindersblog.org/thursday-funnies-38/

DEAD.jpg

The answer to millions searching for the truth? Why, donating for statuses, no less!

Get that. The answer of truth for the millions searching is some rat wheel race for "statuses". The end product of Failtology.
 

CommunicatorIC

@IndieScieNews on Twitter
There were some people -- myself included -- who opined that nobody was matching contributions, and the match game was merely an ill-disguised 50% discount.

Oh ye of little knowingness.

From Mike Rinder:

http://www.mikerindersblog.org/valley-vulgarity/

* * * * * BEGIN EXCERPT * * * * *

They also let slip that the “Match Game” benefactor is not the Royal Governess of the Vast Valley Territory, Nancy Cartwright, but instead the the Most Exalted Global Octopus Prince of Big Pharma, Bob Duggan (soon to be referred to only as Mr. Duggan or Sir — once he finishes buying himself into the very exclusive “big being” club to make it a truimvirate – power, fame and money)

Showed us beautiful poster being delivered to Bob Duggan with pictures of all the UP statuses (60+) from his game; also contained a grateful letter of THANKS for such a Theta Game

* * * * * END EXCERPT * * * * *
 
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