Claire Swazey is now an ex Scientologist

Voltaire's Child

Fool on the Hill
Hi. When I left CofS in 2000 (the cult making it formal with the decree a year later) I still very much wanted to be a Scientologist. I resisted being thought of as a Free Zoner and just knew that I was on my own with it.

Then I tried the Free Zone and got some benefit, I did feel. I still do. Later, I decided I was more an indie or heretical Scientologist but still supportive of the Free Zone and those who wished to be part of or affiliated with it.

I have always liked to debunk stereotypes and look at more than one side of the issue. Sometimes if there's no other side immediately perceivable, I'll just make one! :coolwink: When I was in CofS but hangin' on a.r.s. and still feeling pretty party line, if I saw a critic saying or doing something cool, I'd give credit where credit was due. Later, if I saw a churchie or someone else with whom I disagreed doing something cool, I continued on in this tradition. I also remember the things I liked about certain theories Hubbard had and certain things I did- drills, auditing, and so on- that I really liked.

Somewhere along the line, my identity as a non CofS Scn'ist (another term I've used frequently) became more important than ... well, me.
I can't be this anymore. I can't be a label and, more importantly, I can't be this label. My beliefs have wandered a bit too far afield for me to use it even if I did want to be a label which is the reason it couldn't be that label.

I still have use for some Scn ideas but for quite some time now, I've been interested in other ologies and isms. I have said so a few times here, too. I think maybe one can be an heretical what-sis and still do that but I think that in my case, I'm not an heretical Scientologist. I'm not any kind of Scientologist.

This does not mean that I won't stop taking up for my FZ and indie friends (not that I don't stick up for other people in the critic's scene- I do.) . I will. I know some nice people in the FZ and, while I know some of you may not agree with this, I think they're doing jut fine and are not hurting themselves or anyone else. In fact, I think that Scientology can be beneficial in some cases. Saying this doesn't make me a Scientologist any more than the fact that I still watch Christian evangelist shows (I was very excited a couple months ago when I found a Catholic channel on cable. I was brought up Catholic. Mother Angelica rocks!) has made me go back to Christianity. It hasn't. But I maintain that there's much beauty and truth there and I don't have to be of that faith to see that. So that's about how I feel about Scn.

I wrote a post about prayer recently and I had a couple things happen soon after I sort of sent up a plea. I wasn't unhappy or angst ridden but I knew some things needed to happen. As usual, the answers to my prayers weren't what I expected. But that's always how it goes, isn't it? So a couple things happened that were important. This is one of them. I was pretty excited and pleased to get this idea as it does resolve some things. But now I am feeling really weird. I guess I am struggling with it. I am not questioning my stance. I know I'm an ex Scientologist. I'm just struggling with coming to terms with that fact. I felt a lot more sprightly about this Saturday. I may need some help with this and god help the person who writes something along the lines of "I told you so" or "It's about time you woke up"! :omg::yes::coolwink:

I hope that my Free Zone and indie friends won't be disappointed in me. I rather think y'all will be cool with it. The kind of people I make friends with do not put conditions on their affection.

I will cap this by saying that not only am I not OSA, but I never was. Not when I was in CofS, not when I considered myself to be a Freezoner and not during my heretical indie term.
 

nexus100

Gold Meritorious Patron
This just proves that you have no sense of drama. Why not wait till your 10,000th and do it up right? Sheesh!

At any rate welcome to the dark side. It gets darker, then lighter, then darker, then lighter...well you get the picture.
 

Kathy (ImOut)

Gold Meritorious Patron
Claire,

Whatever you want to be or call yourself is cool.

I started reading "Daily Word". It's a religious thing that my dear girl friend got me for my birthday, all because I asked her how she believes in God. I DO NOT in any way consider myself religious. But I like reading the passage for the day each night before I go to bed.

Be who/what you want to be and put a label on it or not. You've got to be true to yourself.
 

Miss Pert

Silver Meritorious Patron
Great post VC!

Always remember you are free to be whoever and whatever you choose to be and no one has a right to deny you that freedom of choice. :bighug:
 

I told you I was trouble

Suspended animation
You are alright Fluffy ... I always knew you were.

:blowkiss:

You sound so happy ... and I am so pleased for you, I know it does feel weird at first though LOL ... the benefits will be worth it and er, you have just made my day ... no, my month!

:yes:
 

Panda Termint

Cabal Of One
Congratulations, Claire.
Why not adopt a new User Name and make it a completely fresh start?
I suggest something more reflective of the real you.
 

Zinjifar

Silver Meritorious Sponsor
Hon, I've known you for a long time, irritating or infuriating as that may be. I've always thought you were an honest person (which most Scientologists are) but, most of our disagreements have been about exactly the 'labels'.

Welcome aboard :)

(I told you so :))

Now you're just Claire

Zinj
 

uniquemand

Unbeliever
Yay. I had different reasons for electing to no longer affiliate myself with the word scientologist, but I respect your reasons. I just got to the point where I couldn't consider myself an extension of "Command Intention", being that I had come to understand what that intention actually was. :) YMMV.

Peace!
 

Hatshepsut

Crusader
:p:thumbsup:
Voltaire's Child:
Somewhere along the line, my identity as a non CofS Scn'ist (another term I've used frequently) became more important than ... well, me.
I can't be this anymore. I can't be a label and, more importantly, I can't be this label. My beliefs have wandered a bit too far afield for me to use it even if I did want to be a label which is the reason it couldn't be that label.

I think you are in Free Form Fluff Formation :)
 

FinallyFree

Gold Meritorious Patron
Congratulations Claire, I am sincerely happy for you. I agree with Kathy - don't worry about the labels. Enjoying just being who you are.
I am glad you aren't OSA (I do feel sorry for them) - and I am sorry for calling you an OSA troll.
 

anonomog

Gold Meritorious Patron
Here is an interesting little video of Peter Gabriel's Zaar, part of the soundtrack of the movie The Last Temptation of Christ.
For me, its a musical and graphical representation of the wonderful, awful, tragic and joyful journey of life and all the changes within and without on the way.

I thought you might enjoy it on your journey.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMOTd7bQjo0
 

SchwimmelPuckel

Genuine Meatball
<snip> I'm not any kind of Scientologist.

<snip> I know I'm an ex Scientologist. I'm just struggling with coming to terms with that fact. I felt a lot more sprightly about this Saturday. I may need some help with this and god help the person who writes something along the lines of "I told you so" or "It's about time you woke up"! :omg::yes::coolwink: <snip>
3140581261_2245147d14.jpg

Grudging approval from dad! - Who would rather that his kids didn't believe in absurdities..

See.. I deftly avoided saying: 'I told you so!' or 'It's about time you woke up!'.. But I did have the urge...

:yes:
 

Voltaire's Child

Fool on the Hill
You are alright Fluffy ... I always knew you were.

:blowkiss:

You sound so happy ... and I am so pleased for you, I know it does feel weird at first though LOL ... the benefits will be worth it and er, you have just made my day ... no, my month!

:yes:

It does seem weird. I did discuss this with the Wonderhusband the other day. I kind of soft pedaled it so and he said nothing at all. But, again, he's like my friends, there are no conditions on his love.

I appreciate your post. You know that I'm still a contrarian, right? (that's something a couple of my other buddies sometimes call me. Not without a little exasperation.)
 
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