Claire Swazey is now an ex Scientologist

Voltaire's Child

Fool on the Hill
Hi,

Everyone's story is different. We all had different last straws (I even started a thread about that a few weeks ago). I think that's a very strong indication of the many things that are wrong with CofS and with Scn.

I liked the things I learned in Scn "tech". I did. I still do. I just feel I've moved beyond it.

I ditched CofS within two years of finding the first critical forum on which I posted (alt.religion.scientology) and had many satisfying and fun discussions with people there before, during, and after the process. (It's not true that I came in screaming insults at them. My posts are google-able). More importantly, perhaps, is that I made friends back then whom I still am proud to be associated with today.

Finding my own way philosophically has been a trip and a half, let me tell you.
I've had more of a connection to the divine lately and that seems to be part of my path. Here's a thread I wrote about that. Lately there's been more happening on this.

http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthread.php?t=14223&highlight=Prayer
 
G

Gottabrain

Guest
You sound so happy, Claire. I am happy for you.

Whatever strengthens the light that is you as a child of God and the universe is a good thing.

Now say three Hail Mary's and Our Fathers and ask for forgiveness. Lol!:)

I was raised Catholic, too. It's a beautiful religion.
 

Voltaire's Child

Fool on the Hill
I am quite happy. I don't regret having been on the other path but I'm having so much fun with the changes. I'm rockin' out with the divine. I did pray before, but it's going better now. Now, although I was raised Catholic, I did not actually go back to it. My beliefs are sorta influenced by Buddhism, and, yes, Scn, and would seem rather new age'ish to some, I'm sure. I just got a book in from Amazon.com on Milarepa, an 11th century Buddhist sage, in fact. If I can get through my blasted reading backlog, I am looking forward to delving into it.

I picked "The fool on the hill" (next to my nick instead of Patron, etc) after the Tarot Deck and also the story behind the Beatle's song. I think I enjoy the quest more than anything else.

Catholicism has much beauty in it. It has a very strong mystical tradition. Ever see the statue of Teresa of Avila by Bernini? Amazing. Here, let me see if I can find a link to a pic:

http://www.luigicascioli.eu/traduzioni/images/avila_teresa_big.jpg
 

shadow

Patron with Honors
In life, the journey is the important part, not the destination. I know my experiences and my responses to those experiences have shaped me into the me I am today.

Like you, I am happy with the me I am today and I would not trade any of the experiences, no matter how painful they were at the time. Many of the worst experiences helped me have more empathy for others because I cannot possibly know what challenges they face or have faced that has shaped them.

One of my relatives (on this board at times) left Scn not too long ago because she realized the abuses that she could not tolerate were systemic and not merely isolated. This was a brave move and I am so proud of her. As I told her, she is my hero.:happydance: Reading about the experiences of others helped me realize how much it takes to shake off the chains (family ties, eternity, coercion, emotional investment, etc); to recover and to take that next step-speak out and do something about it!:wow:

It may sound a bit cheesy, but I have this admiration for you (Fluffy, VC, Claire), and all of those who have made this journey. When I say I have empathy for those who are still in the trap, this is not to be confused with sympathy (except for the kids), but I do understand there are chains that are difficult and sometime overwhelming to try to break
 

Panda Termint

Cabal Of One
Favorite Voltaire quote:
"Those that can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."
Favorite Vogon quote:

Fluffilicious Voltaire's Child,
Defiant bitch, yet, sweet and mild?
Pass the sugar, pour the honey,
Here's your poem, now where's my money?
 

Voltaire's Child

Fool on the Hill
Thanks guys. It's nice to not be a Scientologist. Like I said in the opening post, I got too into the identity and label of being an indie Scn'ist. I still admire and support my friends who still consider themselves to be such or are FZers, but I'm not the same as they are, they're not the same as I am.

I've been interested in other ologies and isms for a while. I wasn't a tech purist even when I was an indie and some friends used to say to me that they didn't think my use of the Scn branding was appropriate for that reason. Now, having really diverged from that path, it's even more the case. I still like some of the ideas but it's more like the ideas I found that I agree with can be found elsewhere, mostly. Maybe a few wouldn't be, or wouldn't be IDENTICAL where they appear elsewhere, but most (of the ones I like) can be found in Buddhism and even occultism, sometimes even in traditional elder religions.

So despite anything anyone says, I'm just me. I don't have a named religion I profess. There's so much I don't agree with in Scn (as ology, I mean. I've already established long ago that I think CofS is a nasty crappy little cult) and so much that I like that Hubbard didn't talk about or did but kind of dissed (such as my interest in "God" and prayer) that yeah, a year ago, it was time to ditch the label.

I cried about it. It's so weird. It was like this big earthshaking thing. I cried one night, I posted my announcement, then I didn't want to cry about it EVER again. It was kind of a special watershed moment. I wonder if that's why Roan resurrected this thread? Because it's been a year and that's an anniversary of sorts? Cool!
 

Roan

Patron with Honors
I wonder if that's why Roan resurrected this thread? Because it's been a year and that's an anniversary of sorts?
Uhh.. no.

Someone asked me how you could be "no longer a Scientologist" and still represent yourself as an OT (as you do on Geir Issene's MB). I told em I'd ask and: "..that Fluffy has always made an art of residing on the thinnest razor's edge of "solid ground" between two contradictory viewpoints. That's what makes her Fluffy." :)

But.. Happy Anniversary anyway!

.
 
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Voltaire's Child

Fool on the Hill
Uhh.. no.

Someone asked me how you could be "no longer a Scientologist" and still represent yourself as an OT (as you do on Geir Issene's MB). I told em I'd ask and: "..that Fluffy has always made an art of residing on the thinnest razor's edge of "solid ground" between two contradictory viewpoints. That's what makes her Fluffy." :)

But.. Happy Anniversary anyway!

.

Actually, scnforum.org is my message board and has been for several months. But yeah, I started as a mod there when it was Geir's.

But, Roan, back when I was still calling myself a Scientologist after having left CofS years before and with the fact in mind that there were areas of "tech and policy" with which I disagreed, some people then were saying "how can she call herself a Scientologist?" I mean, there's always someone who's saying stuff like that, no matter what I do. I know you've seen posts like that going back years because some of these were on threads where you and I were both contributing. There always will be comments of this sort.

Point of fact, I've not said anything about my spiritual state or status or label thingie (eg: OT, Clear) on scnforum.org in a while, in fact. Perhaps the "someone" to whom you refer should say whatever his or her concerns are to my face (so to speak). I'm not difficult to find.

As to anything else, the opening post on this thread goes into great detail of what my watershed moment was and the ideas that prompted it. I've always said that if I like an idea, it's part of my life unless and until I find it inadvisable to use or believe in it. I have a lot of things I learned as a Catholic, as a Scn'ist, in my studies of anthropology and psychology and they are all part of me. I didn't ditch all the Scn ones anymore than I ditched all the other ones I named above. But I found I was getting way too much into labels "I'm a this" and that's just not what any ideological exercise should be about for anyone. I think a Buddhist might say it's "Ego". So I'm no longer stuck on labels. So what about those who are evidently still critical of me? Can they say the same?
 

FinallyMe

Silver Meritorious Patron
Fluffs, I don't care WHAT you believe. I am simply impressed that you have the self-assurance to state your position, the honor to stick by it and the integrity to continue to assess your experiences and change your mind as appropriate. Shoot, I'm impressed that you HAVE a well thought-out opinion, as so many do not, for various reasons. Keep talkin', gal!
 
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