Coming to terms

Good twin

I agree or understand all of the responses, thus far.

GT and I had this discussion last night - for each of us Scn (being involved) went beyond it's expiration date. It's those leftovers in the fridge that you just don't throw out no matter how bad it gets.

But if GT had gotten out when she thought she "should have" - we would have never met.

If I'd gotten when I "should have" I would have never met my husband.

I'm a firm believer in "everything happens for a reason". And there is a lesson or several lessons to be learned from every experience. Whether good or bad, we learn from what we live in life. If we're lucky enough to learn from our experiences.

Funny..too. ImOut was the first person I contacted when I knew it was over. I knew that SHE was the exact person I needed to contact to be able to get out and heal myself properly and completely.

Alanzo? Who's is in your bucket?

Also, to restate the obious.........Zinj is always right.


Patron with Honors
Were it not for Scientology, I would not be the man I am today. I've never tried any drug, I don't drink, I'm responsible in spite of my age

I would have to respectfully disagree.

I have decided - mostly because it makes me feel good and just because
I have decided to, no better reason than that - that prior to coming into
this life we 'postulate', if you will, the basic essence(s) of the experience(s).

Our lives then 'tend' in the direction(s) of the essence(s), so I think things
as you have described, being drug and alchohol free and being responsible,
would be part of that tendency. Not that one would need an influence in life
in order to be a certain way, but if one did 'need' one it would be found in
something, not neccasarily scn, it would have come to you in some form.
It just happened to be scn.

Or...What Zinj said.

Dean Wentling
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Patron Meritorious
...I have trouble with people attempting to deny any and all benefit from Scn...
I agree Carmel, it's only just to report benefits derived in scientology, despite their abuses. I spent less than a year hanging around scn, and never even passed out of the communications course, because I refused to prepay for a future course.

But I did have exactly two wins in scientology:

Win #1: Before I'd ever heard of scientology, I had been getting really nasty headaches, about once per day in the afternoon. I always took Bufferin which relieved the pain within an hour or so. The first and only scn class I ever took was the Communications Course, and as instructed I stopped taking any medication, my only one being Bufferin. This course consisted of (Training Routines). During these TR's I began getting my splitting head aches. These occurred while I was sitting down staring at another student in TR0 or TR1, I forget which. An awful headache would show up every time, like clockwork, I will never forget them. This went on for the first 7-10 days of the course. I remember the course supervisor saying, "The way out is the way through", which I later recognized as a common scn phrase. But then one day, poof, the head aches disappeared. And for the following 30 years, I've had only 6 or 8 headaches. Even if I got overly drunk, I may have been tired the next day, but I never got a headache. Except on a couple of occasions when I drank Tequila, then I'd get a bad one. Ever since the communication course, and even today, when I hear somebody complaining about a headache, I think about Win #1, but I've never said anything about it until now. Maybe I could have gotten this "win" with Yoga or some other technique, but I got mine with scn. I hate to say anything positive about the dirt bags, but Win #1 and Win #2 are absolute facts.

Win #2: One day while I was on the comm course, an auditor in training offered me some free auditing to be a test case. I dropped everything and followed him. We went outside, he was definitely in charge, walking around the neighborhood. He would say, "see this parking meter", "touch this parking meter", "see this mail box", "touch this mail box", etc. This went on for a half an hour or so, and I did what he commanded. It may have been bunk, but what was the difference, I had nothing better to do. Pretty soon, and I don't know how to describe this any better, I had a cow. So we went back inside and I guess my "needle floated". It was at that time that I understood the concept of "keyed out". To this day I still shake my head when I think about it. That state of mind left within a few days, and I came back down to earth. But I never forgot it. From that point onward, I could see how one could become addicted to auditing. It must have been in the Fall, because I remember walking around outside later that night thinking about it, and I wrote down the date in ballpoint pen, on a big tree leaf. It was the date of my first and only "key out". From time to time, after I had left staff, I would look at the leaf, think about the win, and shake my head. I thought about returning to scientology, but there was no way I would ever be willing to put up with that kind of crap again. Especially considering how much trouble it was getting rid of them. A few years later, I tossed the leaf away, thinking that was a milestone to leaving scn behind. I remember asking them in the course room, "Hey, do you guys need another guinea pig for that test auditing, because I might be able to free myself up?" They said no. I joined staff for a short while, but I was just not willing to put up with all their crap. But I've always wondered what else scientology had "under the hood". If you haven't personally had this type of win, I don't expect you to understand it. And I don't give a crap if you, "invalidate my win". I had it, and I know I had it. Since that time I've wondered how something as simple as that auditing drill could have such an effect on me.

As soon as I joined staff they began head-screwing me, always bitching about something. How could any "church" that provided my two wins, be such schmucks? Creators of the fair game law, relentless phone calls and letters, driving me nuts with their constant selling, the ethics laws, lowered conditions, writing up overts and withholds, ksw, lie, lie, lie, and so on. And there was never going to be an end to it. I just didn't get it. But if there's one thing I've learned over the years, which has been recently verified by others on ESMB; if it doesn't make sense, it's scientology.

So Kha Khan, he was a trained auditor, and I was impressed. But it was all the other crap in the package that I could do without. I never forgot Win #2. Where else would I have gotten it? Let me say, I am absolutely never going back to scientology. And I will never touch the FreeZone -- until they provide full disclosure, and I become convinced they're not going to be as bad or worse than scientology. But because of Win #1 and Win #2, I have never discounted scientology. I have always wished for similar benefits, without all the crap, just somewhere else. I've heard about other so-called "paths to freedom", I just wish FreeZone had a clue.
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