Concern or politics?

lotus

stubborn rebel sheep!
Excellent post Emma..you framed it!
:yes:


A few excerpts


Posted by Emma
· October 1, 2016



There is an idea floating around the Scientology corner of the internet at the moment that suggests ex Scientologists are far better off not talking on social media about their experiences, as it somehow damages them by keeping them stuck in it, rather than helping them move on.

This notion suggests that if you keep talking about what you experienced in Scientology that you will never get over it, and mingling with other ex Scientologists just beefs up what you experienced and actually makes it worse.

What bullshit.

One of the proven ways to way to heal from a traumatic experience is to talk about it. Not run from it. Not pretend it didn’t happen. Not shut yourself down because of it. People need to figure out exactly what happened to them and how they became trapped. They need to sort the truth from the lies and to get their questions answered. They need empathy. They need people who really understand.


Again, this is total bullshit. I have NEVER, in 15 years of Scientology watching and reading and posting to the internet, seen one person, who was genuinely looking for answers and help or who wanted to tell their story, be ridiculed or abused. I’ve seen trolls stir up trouble by pretending to be exes by being deliberately provocative. The motivation for them was to cause division, diversion, distraction and upset (which unfortunately does work sometimes).


Don’t let ANYONE tell you how you should heal. If you want to write about it – go for it. If you want to talk about it, create videos about it, write songs about it – go for it. If you are fine to just walk away and never look back, that’s great – go for it. If you want to spend hours in counselling – go for it. If you have understanding family & friends and talking to them is enough – go for it. Be your own guide. You’ll know if it’s helping or not. Just don’t let anyone dictate to you how you recover.

I don’t use the word “recover” lightly. Leaving Scientology IS a recovery process and that process will be as unique as the person themself.

:coolwink:


When we leave the cult, we don't need anyone to tell us what and how to think.
We certainly can discover what's the best for us, like speaking about it, sharing experiences, vent, looking for support or remain silent about it... for examples.
ESMB has been truly designed and dedicated to provide such a space for people to talk and to share while they can be informed.
There is so much testimonies and grateful comments about how ESMB has help much people to RECOVER over that last decade.
Many are gone since they have succeded to completely move on , which is great!

In spite of a few attempts to discredits it, this is a ''safe'' place...
ESMB community remain open and friendly, it's cement is true genuine sharing.
 
Last edited:

Udarnik

Gold Meritorious Patron
Some people on the WWP calls this board the hug club or something. Those kinds of Anons can go fuck themselves.

You've got to talk through this stuff, or the thought stopping processes will continue to operate. As far as I can see, the only people who get beaten up when they open their mouths in the Ex space are the ones who come in assuming altitude.

Like the subject of the new blog... :yes:
 

Free Being Me

Crusader
Excellent post Emma..you framed it!
:yes:


A few excerpts




:coolwink:


When we leave the cult, we don't need anyone to tell us what and how to think.
We certainly can discover what the best for us, like speaking about it, or sharing experiences, vent, or being supported... for example.
ESMB has been truly designed and dedicated to provide such a space for people to talk and to share while they can be informed.
There is so much testimonies and grateful comments about how ESMB has help much people to RECOVER over the last decade.
Many are gone since they have succeeded to completely move on , which is great!

In spite of a few attempt to discredits this is a safe place...ESMB community remain strong because it's cement is true genuine sharing.
Emma and you have hit the nail on the head. IMO, $cientology like any cult is designed to be as difficult as possible to leave physically and mentally-emotionally. Having a place such as ESMB to talk and decompress and read dox on Elcon/$cientology while trying to make sense of it all is a valuable resource.

It seems to me the people that are taking pot shots at ESMB complaining about this and that are the same people who insisted upon their own all-knowing guru-hood eventually getting themselves banned or vacated the premises for lack of an audience because no one was interested in their bullshit.

Here's to deculting. :cheers:

Living well is the best revenge.
 
There is another aspect and that is distance. I find, when you write it out, it becomes more objective, less of an emotional mishmash in your head.

Many times I am writing a proposal for a project and writing it out forces me to look at the parts, and better understand what all is involved with it. Some of my posts or emails start out looking like gibberish, but on editing and tweaking it becomes cohesive. (they can still look like gibberish, but at least it's clearer in my mind) I think it has to do with getting some distance from it - getting it out of your head to where you can look at it more objectively.

And, I think, to some extent, it "as-ises". There are old posts I have written and boy, Howdy, did I really write that? I have zero recall. So maybe writing it was a good thing.

So!

Instead of picking up the cans... pick up the keyboard!

Mimsey
 

Dulloldfart

Squirrel Extraordinaire
There is another aspect and that is distance. I find, when you write it out, it becomes more objective, less of an emotional mishmash in your head.

Many times I am writing a proposal for a project and writing it out forces me to look at the parts, and better understand what all is involved with it. Some of my posts or emails start out looking like gibberish, but on editing and tweaking it becomes cohesive. (they can still look like gibberish, but at least it's clearer in my mind) I think it has to do with getting some distance from it - getting it out of your head to where you can look at it more objectively.

And, I think, to some extent, it "as-ises". There are old posts I have written and boy, Howdy, did I really write that? I have zero recall. So maybe writing it was a good thing.

So!

Instead of picking up the cans... pick up the keyboard!

Mimsey

Exactly. In order to express yourself coherently in words, whether in writing on a message board or in a letter or talking to someone else or even talking to the wall in preparation for a speech, you have to examine concepts and sort them out in your own mind first.

Hubbard said in some "Magic of Communication" HCOB that auditing works because the auditor receives the communications or something, but it's bullshit. It's just as effective to tell the wall as long as it's done coherently, with the advantage that the wall won't interrupt or look at your tits or something while you're doing it.

Not everything can be fixed by simply talking about it, but it's a good start.

Paul
 
Exactly. In order to express yourself coherently in words, whether in writing on a message board or in a letter or talking to someone else or even talking to the wall in preparation for a speech, you have to examine concepts and sort them out in your own mind first.

Hubbard said in some "Magic of Communication" HCOB that auditing works because the auditor receives the communications or something, but it's bullshit. It's just as effective to tell the wall as long as it's done coherently, with the advantage that the wall won't interrupt or look at your tits or something while you're doing it.

Paul

I didn't know that was a problem you had - serious man boobs?

Mimsey:hysterical: Sorry Paul - I just couldn't resist.
 

Operating DB

Truman Show Dropout
There is another aspect and that is distance. I find, when you write it out, it becomes more objective, less of an emotional mishmash in your head.

Many times I am writing a proposal for a project and writing it out forces me to look at the parts, and better understand what all is involved with it. Some of my posts or emails start out looking like gibberish, but on editing and tweaking it becomes cohesive. (they can still look like gibberish, but at least it's clearer in my mind) I think it has to do with getting some distance from it - getting it out of your head to where you can look at it more objectively.

And, I think, to some extent, it "as-ises". There are old posts I have written and boy, Howdy, did I really write that? I have zero recall. So maybe writing it was a good thing.

So!

Instead of picking up the cans... pick up the keyboard!

Mimsey

When in the cult you're only allowed to write up O/W's or when doing the Doubt formula only allowed to look at things from the cults perspective. One was not allowed to write up ARC Breaks or look on the forbidden side of the fence. Imagine writing up your ARC Breaks and submitting them to the Ethics Officer. Not a chance!

I'm still in love ESMB ever since I joined. I'm allowed to voice my opinion without punishment or write up my ARC Breaks or J&D to my hearts content! It's called freedom!
 

I told you I was trouble

Suspended animation


It certainly isn't being done out of concern ... it seems to me that most of the people currently trying to slime ESMB (and Tony Ortega) are still full on scientologists (indies) who are not even trying to lose its grip on their minds ... I suppose they are protecting their tehhhhhhhhhk (and perhaps their income).

Apparently just one single person who is forceful and persistent enough can sway some of the less strident people into whatever the mood of the day is on message boards (it even happens here on occasion) and as far as I can tell there are really just two or three such people (and quite a few bitchy stragglers) that are doing most of the whining.

All we need to do is poke our tongues out in their general direction (they really hate that) or moon them (preferably in unison) and carry on doing whatever we like, because we can.


:neener:


:moon:
 

Gib

Crusader
What a great post Emma. And I agree that Dr Alanzo and Dr Rathbun think that because we keep talking about scientology they think we are not "healed". From my prospective, I say bullshit. LOL

I do not mind talking about it as I wish to help those on the fence. I have no idea if it is of any use, but if only one person picks up something from out conversations here and helps, I think that is a good thing. And folks here certainly get into trouble with each other but also laugh if off too.

I know I've mentioned this several times in the past, that when I got the Debbie Cook email, why it gave confirmation that something was really wrong with scientology. And that email did not say search the internet but apply policy. But, I then did start to internet scientology. I'd still be in the trap if I did not do that. And why, because of blogs, social media, the media, and this place. If the internet was only filled with the scientology agenda, why I would still be trapped in scientology. It's the brave people that started openly talking about scientology in a fast medium like the internet. I think others stories of their involvement, their research, their POV is a truth rundown.
 

Emma

Con te partirò
Administrator
And I agree that Dr Alanzo and Dr Rathbun think that because we keep talking about scientology they think we are not "healed". From my prospective, I say bullshit. LOL.

I agree - completely.

I would say that I was "healed" several years ago. I'm talking personally, my own head, my own heart. However I'm part of a bigger group, a city, a country, a planet, and while there are people still being harmed by Scientology it will get my attention.
 

guanoloco

As-Wased
I especially like to continue to talk about it on ESMB because I suspect current-ins are reading. This board helped me tremendously long before I ever posted.

I cannot express the gratitude I have for this outlet.
 

I told you I was trouble

Suspended animation
I agree - completely.

I would say that I was "healed" several years ago. I'm talking personally, my own head, my own heart. However I'm part of a bigger group, a city, a country, a planet, and while there are people still being harmed by Scientology it will get my attention.


Yep, that's about how I feel ... also, there are some things you don't "heal" from, you just teach yourself how to live life the way you want to live it (I'm thinking of disconnection).

I'm having a wonderful life but I'll probably always miss my kids and wonder how they are, then again I may develop Alzheimer's disease and completely forget they exist ... and leave my money to a dogs home (that'll teach em!).


:biggrin:
 

prosecco

Patron Meritorious
Yep, that's about how I feel ... also, there are some things you don't "heal" from, you just teach yourself how to live life the way you want to live it (I'm thinking of disconnection).

I'm having a wonderful life but I'll probably always miss my kids and wonder how they are, then again I may develop Alzheimer's disease and completely forget they exist ... and leave my money to a dogs home (that'll teach em!).


:biggrin:

I totally agree about the distinction between, healing and what I call, 'new normal.' A friend of mine who is an alcoholic, still goes to AA meetings even though she hasn't had a drink for years as she needs the community of people who understand the addiction.

My own pattern has been wanting to 'talk' about scientology, followed by long periods of not wanting to discuss it much at all, with external events getting in the way, such as scientology in the news. A friend who doesn't know about my involvement with scientology suggested going to see Louis Theroux's movie, but think I would need to go with someone who knows all about my history otherwise it would feel like taking a former circus performer to a freak show.
 

Lord Xenu

Patron Meritorious
Yep, that's about how I feel ... also, there are some things you don't "heal" from, you just teach yourself how to live life the way you want to live it (I'm thinking of disconnection).

I'm having a wonderful life but I'll probably always miss my kids and wonder how they are, then again I may develop Alzheimer's disease and completely forget they exist ... and leave my money to a dogs home (that'll teach em!).


:biggrin:


I understand this from a slightly different perspective as it's not my children that I have had a problem with.

Like you say, I think that the loss of close family connections due to scientology is very painful but you 'just teach yourself how to live life the way you want to live it'.

Even if we have rebuilt our lives and have found happiness, the loss of the contact of previously close family members can be devastating and confusing.

In my situation they actively tried to cause me financial and legal problems.

There's this thing that Jason Beghe says in his long interview with Wisebeardman about how he can't understand why people can't sense dishonesty in people like politicians when it seems obvious that they're lying and I have the same problem with some scientologists.

To me, the lies and manipulation are so transparent I cannot see how anyone else can possibly be fooled by it. But they are. It just shows that you cannot expect everyone to judge things by your own standards.

I used to live in hope that one day they [certain family members] would become aware of how this situation had been engineered but now, years later I don't even know how I'd react if I was approached with an apology.
 

Emma

Con te partirò
Administrator
Yep, that's about how I feel ... also, there are some things you don't "heal" from, you just teach yourself how to live life the way you want to live it (I'm thinking of disconnection).

I'm having a wonderful life but I'll probably always miss my kids and wonder how they are, then again I may develop Alzheimer's disease and completely forget they exist ... and leave my money to a dogs home (that'll teach em!).


:biggrin:

Losing your friends when leaving Scientology is one thing. I found that hard enough to deal with. Losing your children, well I think you said it best - I guess you just find a way. I don't know how you and others find that way, but this is why most of us (who haven't had to deal with that terrible burden) are still around, still caring. There can't be much worse to have to live through than being disconnected from your kids because of a bogus religion (aside from death of a child).

Love you Trouble xxx
 

I told you I was trouble

Suspended animation
Losing your friends when leaving Scientology is one thing. I found that hard enough to deal with. Losing your children, well I think you said it best - I guess you just find a way. I don't know how you and others find that way, but this is why most of us (who haven't had to deal with that terrible burden) are still around, still caring. There can't be much worse to have to live through than being disconnected from your kids because of a bogus religion (aside from death of a child).

Love you Trouble xxx



Likewise.

:blowkiss:
 

Free to shine

Shiny & Free
Yep, that's about how I feel ... also, there are some things you don't "heal" from, you just teach yourself how to live life the way you want to live it (I'm thinking of disconnection).

I'm having a wonderful life but I'll probably always miss my kids and wonder how they are, then again I may develop Alzheimer's disease and completely forget they exist ... and leave my money to a dogs home (that'll teach em!).


:biggrin:


Yes so true. There is a 'new normal' life yet parts of your heart don't heal. How can they when it's an ongoing thing, for the rest of your life? Even if your kids 'wake up' and come back, years and even decades of connection have been lost. Our kids grow up without us because of an evil cult's directions and that's just how it is. Add to that any thoughts of guilt for having been a scientology parent, no matter the reason why, and there is a need to connect to people also going through these particularly awful circumstances.

Those idiots who like to pontificate about what constitutes healing and 'how it should be' need to go crawl under a log and stay there. Maybe the ants and spiders could do with their 'wisdom' as people with an ounce of empathy and humanity certainly don't. It's absolute bullshit. It shows a residual scientology attitude they are not even aware of and stands out like a chicken with boots to even a casual observer.
 

Emma

Con te partirò
Administrator
Yes so true. There is a 'new normal' life yet parts of your heart don't heal. How can they when it's an ongoing thing, for the rest of your life? Even if your kids 'wake up' and come back, years and even decades of connection have been lost. Our kids grow up without us because of an evil cult's directions and that's just how it is. Add to that any thoughts of guilt for having been a scientology parent, no matter the reason why, and there is a need to connect to people also going through these particularly awful circumstances.

Those idiots who like to pontificate about what constitutes healing and 'how it should be' need to go crawl under a log and stay there. Maybe the ants and spiders could do with their 'wisdom' as people with an ounce of empathy and humanity certainly don't. It's absolute bullshit. It shows a residual scientology attitude they are not even aware of and stands out like a chicken with boots to even a casual observer.

Love you Free xxxxxx
 
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