Posted by Emma
· October 1, 2016
There is an idea floating around the Scientology corner of the internet at the moment that suggests ex Scientologists are far better off not talking on social media about their experiences, as it somehow damages them by keeping them stuck in it, rather than helping them move on.
This notion suggests that if you keep talking about what you experienced in Scientology that you will never get over it, and mingling with other ex Scientologists just beefs up what you experienced and actually makes it worse.
What bullshit.
One of the proven ways to way to heal from a traumatic experience is to talk about it. Not run from it. Not pretend it didn’t happen. Not shut yourself down because of it. People need to figure out exactly what happened to them and how they became trapped. They need to sort the truth from the lies and to get their questions answered. They need empathy. They need people who really understand.
Again, this is total bullshit. I have NEVER, in 15 years of Scientology watching and reading and posting to the internet, seen one person, who was genuinely looking for answers and help or who wanted to tell their story, be ridiculed or abused. I’ve seen trolls stir up trouble by pretending to be exes by being deliberately provocative. The motivation for them was to cause division, diversion, distraction and upset (which unfortunately does work sometimes).
Don’t let ANYONE tell you how you should heal. If you want to write about it – go for it. If you want to talk about it, create videos about it, write songs about it – go for it. If you are fine to just walk away and never look back, that’s great – go for it. If you want to spend hours in counselling – go for it. If you have understanding family & friends and talking to them is enough – go for it. Be your own guide. You’ll know if it’s helping or not. Just don’t let anyone dictate to you how you recover.
I don’t use the word “recover” lightly. Leaving Scientology IS a recovery process and that process will be as unique as the person themself.
Emma and you have hit the nail on the head. IMO, $cientology like any cult is designed to be as difficult as possible to leave physically and mentally-emotionally. Having a place such as ESMB to talk and decompress and read dox on Elcon/$cientology while trying to make sense of it all is a valuable resource.Excellent post Emma..you framed it!
A few excerpts
When we leave the cult, we don't need anyone to tell us what and how to think.
We certainly can discover what the best for us, like speaking about it, or sharing experiences, vent, or being supported... for example.
ESMB has been truly designed and dedicated to provide such a space for people to talk and to share while they can be informed.
There is so much testimonies and grateful comments about how ESMB has help much people to RECOVER over the last decade.
Many are gone since they have succeeded to completely move on , which is great!
In spite of a few attempt to discredits this is a safe place...ESMB community remain strong because it's cement is true genuine sharing.
There is another aspect and that is distance. I find, when you write it out, it becomes more objective, less of an emotional mishmash in your head.
There is another aspect and that is distance. I find, when you write it out, it becomes more objective, less of an emotional mishmash in your head.
Many times I am writing a proposal for a project and writing it out forces me to look at the parts, and better understand what all is involved with it. Some of my posts or emails start out looking like gibberish, but on editing and tweaking it becomes cohesive. (they can still look like gibberish, but at least it's clearer in my mind) I think it has to do with getting some distance from it - getting it out of your head to where you can look at it more objectively.
And, I think, to some extent, it "as-ises". There are old posts I have written and boy, Howdy, did I really write that? I have zero recall. So maybe writing it was a good thing.
So!
Instead of picking up the cans... pick up the keyboard!
Mimsey
Exactly. In order to express yourself coherently in words, whether in writing on a message board or in a letter or talking to someone else or even talking to the wall in preparation for a speech, you have to examine concepts and sort them out in your own mind first.
Hubbard said in some "Magic of Communication" HCOB that auditing works because the auditor receives the communications or something, but it's bullshit. It's just as effective to tell the wall as long as it's done coherently, with the advantage that the wall won't interrupt or look at your tits or something while you're doing it.
Paul
There is another aspect and that is distance. I find, when you write it out, it becomes more objective, less of an emotional mishmash in your head.
Many times I am writing a proposal for a project and writing it out forces me to look at the parts, and better understand what all is involved with it. Some of my posts or emails start out looking like gibberish, but on editing and tweaking it becomes cohesive. (they can still look like gibberish, but at least it's clearer in my mind) I think it has to do with getting some distance from it - getting it out of your head to where you can look at it more objectively.
And, I think, to some extent, it "as-ises". There are old posts I have written and boy, Howdy, did I really write that? I have zero recall. So maybe writing it was a good thing.
So!
Instead of picking up the cans... pick up the keyboard!
Mimsey
And I agree that Dr Alanzo and Dr Rathbun think that because we keep talking about scientology they think we are not "healed". From my prospective, I say bullshit. LOL.
I agree - completely.
I would say that I was "healed" several years ago. I'm talking personally, my own head, my own heart. However I'm part of a bigger group, a city, a country, a planet, and while there are people still being harmed by Scientology it will get my attention.
Yep, that's about how I feel ... also, there are some things you don't "heal" from, you just teach yourself how to live life the way you want to live it (I'm thinking of disconnection).
I'm having a wonderful life but I'll probably always miss my kids and wonder how they are, then again I may develop Alzheimer's disease and completely forget they exist ... and leave my money to a dogs home (that'll teach em!).
Yep, that's about how I feel ... also, there are some things you don't "heal" from, you just teach yourself how to live life the way you want to live it (I'm thinking of disconnection).
I'm having a wonderful life but I'll probably always miss my kids and wonder how they are, then again I may develop Alzheimer's disease and completely forget they exist ... and leave my money to a dogs home (that'll teach em!).
Yep, that's about how I feel ... also, there are some things you don't "heal" from, you just teach yourself how to live life the way you want to live it (I'm thinking of disconnection).
I'm having a wonderful life but I'll probably always miss my kids and wonder how they are, then again I may develop Alzheimer's disease and completely forget they exist ... and leave my money to a dogs home (that'll teach em!).
Losing your friends when leaving Scientology is one thing. I found that hard enough to deal with. Losing your children, well I think you said it best - I guess you just find a way. I don't know how you and others find that way, but this is why most of us (who haven't had to deal with that terrible burden) are still around, still caring. There can't be much worse to have to live through than being disconnected from your kids because of a bogus religion (aside from death of a child).
Love you Trouble xxx
Yep, that's about how I feel ... also, there are some things you don't "heal" from, you just teach yourself how to live life the way you want to live it (I'm thinking of disconnection).
I'm having a wonderful life but I'll probably always miss my kids and wonder how they are, then again I may develop Alzheimer's disease and completely forget they exist ... and leave my money to a dogs home (that'll teach em!).
Yes so true. There is a 'new normal' life yet parts of your heart don't heal. How can they when it's an ongoing thing, for the rest of your life? Even if your kids 'wake up' and come back, years and even decades of connection have been lost. Our kids grow up without us because of an evil cult's directions and that's just how it is. Add to that any thoughts of guilt for having been a scientology parent, no matter the reason why, and there is a need to connect to people also going through these particularly awful circumstances.
Those idiots who like to pontificate about what constitutes healing and 'how it should be' need to go crawl under a log and stay there. Maybe the ants and spiders could do with their 'wisdom' as people with an ounce of empathy and humanity certainly don't. It's absolute bullshit. It shows a residual scientology attitude they are not even aware of and stands out like a chicken with boots to even a casual observer.
Love you Free xxxxxx