COS's email response to the Flag Down event

Gib

Crusader
"L. Ron Hubbard has been awarded four Guinness World Records:
2006 Most Published Works by a Single Author: 1,084
2006 Most Translated Author in the World: 71 languages
2009 Most Audiobook Titles on Earth: 185
2010 Most Translated Book on Earth, The Way to Happiness: 70 languages
"


Disingenuous and bogus. Stated as if there was a demand for his shit rather than his demented acolytes printing it up in their own facility.

yah, cracks me up, pure appeal to Ethos:

"Ethos: The Appeal to the Speaker’s or Writer’s Character or Reputation

If you wish to persuade, you need to establish credibility and authority with your audience. A man may have the most logical and well-thought-out argument, but if his audience doesn’t think he’s trustworthy or even worth listening to, all his reasoning will be for naught."

from: http://www.artofmanliness.com/2010/12/21/classical-rhetoric-101-the-three-means-of-persuasion/

Hubbard was learned in rhetorical writing as he wrote to his George Washington University Dean Wilbur.

http://backincomm.wordpress.com/2014/04/01/dear-dean-wilbur/
 

FlunkYou

Patron with Honors
Over 32 million visitors have viewed more than 70 million videos in 17 languages on the Scientology website in the last 12 months.

They have 70 million videos on their website?

Besides the lack of actually producing any product like a clear or otee, I guess they're left to count their mest.

On a side note, it would appear (per this email) Wheezy Miscavige is involved in EVERY aspect of scientology and is not just an ecclesiastical leader as the attorneys in TX claim.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
Jesus Christ!

What a crock of shit.

But more importantly, what an incompetent response to a simple conference.

Frankly, why the fuck would they even respond at all? PR 101 says: Don't draw attention to your detractors.

This gets an F minus grade. For doing everything wrong.

P.S. That fucking missive is 3,582 words long. What The Fuck ? ? ? ? ? ?


LOL

So, 3,582 words...

I wonder which are the most frequently repeating words?

Oh wait, let's convert that hideous wall of text into a word cloud and check out what the real message is:


ScreenShot2014-05-01at61941PM_zps06122956.png


TOP 10 WORDS (by frequency)

1. Scientology
2. Mr.
3. Hubbard
4. Miscavige
5. Ron
6. Church
7. Million
8. Religion
9. World
10. Flag


5-WORD MESSAGE DISTILLED (by frequency)
Scientology
Hubbard
Miscavige
Church
Million


Get it? LOL

Scientology is Hubbard, Miscavige and a church to make millions.​
 
Last edited:

dchoiceisalwaysrs

Gold Meritorious Patron
Thank god that was short. :biggrin: And I am glad, even though I couldn't persist through the last few paragraphs, this has got to be a near perfect illustration of what scientology is. The greatest concentration of lies in one PR statement EVER, IN THE WHOLE WORLD.. SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS .....:lol::roflmao::dieslaughing:

I doubt I will ever get around to reading the 4.2 million pages of hubbard's that were translated. However, in their next release they can announce that more pages of documents about scientology have been submitted to more and a greatly expanding number of courts around the world. Oh, I am sure they will not be forgetting to include honourable mention of the 'real scientologist' who is still under a court restraining order. I am quite sure millions will be much safer in the decades to come when mis-savage meditates upon his black heart behind prison bars or on the run from the law as taught by his mentor l.ron.hubbard. Why did they forget to mention hubbards conviction in Europe? I mean they could have used that to forecast their new leader working criminally hard to outshine the old boys stats.

Seriously, the heartache, messed up lives and deaths that underlie all those twisted numbers is the real story of scientology over it's last 64 years. The war is almost over. Miscavige's 'culture' of lies, betrayal et al deserves its ongoing greatest shrinkage ever in history.

Flag Down is so apropos. :thumbsup:
 
Over 32 million visitors have viewed more than 70 million videos in 17 languages on the Scientology website in the last 12 months.

I wouldn't have been surprised at all to see something like this:

Over 32 million visitors have viewed more than 700 billion words (for the layman that's 3.9 trillion letters and 753 trillion pixels of pure LRH theta!!!) in 17 languages on the Scientology website in the last 12 months.
 

Miss Ellie

Miss Ellie
I am 2% & PROUD!

I wish I had the money & time to join FlagDown.

I wish I had the money to fund 100 billboards in & around Clearwater "Victims of Disconnection - You Are Loved & Missed - Call Home"

I wish I had the Sciobots $$$ - nope maybe not... they sold their sole to the devil for that money.

:melodramatic:
 

JGB

Patron
Holy SHIT Batman, David Miscavige is a GOD! All Hail DM. Leader of the CHURCH OF MEST!
 

xenusdad

Patron with Honors
I would actually be interested in knowing how many victims write to the Minnreg.

Footbullet looming.

Even if thousands write letters of complaint, why isn't it millions?

I anticipate no more than 3 (three).

Also, who writes letters these days? Oh, yes... got it.
 

Intelligence

Silver Meritorious Patron
PARAPHRASED:

A man once asked to shake hands with me, the "greatest Scientologist who ever lived." I replied, "F**k off, I'm Irish."

In other words:

*FUCK YOU OSA/DM/MOXON* and all your pathetic propaganda Thugs!
 

I told you I was trouble

Suspended animation



I didn't read it all ... but I read enough to know that it is without a doubt the best thing I have ever read from the cofs.

They are finally getting the message and are seriously worried.

Brilliant.


:party::party::party:
 

Chris Shelton

Patron with Honors
For me, this epitomizes this email and the church in general. The symbolism here just writes it's own story.

a.baa-Haters-gonna-hate.jpg

I was looking forward to going down there and speaking before, but now I'm REALLY looking forward. This is going to be fun.
(wish I could have gotten the picture to display at full size, but I'm not an image insert expert on this site)
 

Udarnik

Gold Meritorious Patron
Jesus Christ!

What a crock of shit.

But more importantly, what an incompetent response to a simple conference.

Frankly, why the fuck would they even respond at all? PR 101 says: Don't draw attention to your detractors.

This gets an F minus grade. For doing everything wrong.

P.S. That fucking missive is 3,582 words long. What The Fuck ? ? ? ? ? ?

For an organization that emphasizes PR so much, they sure suck at it, don't they?
 

Happy Days

Silver Meritorious Patron
Verbal diarrhoea at it's best.... :biggrin:

Imagine the time it took to put this together and who in their right mind would send an email this long.

I didn't read past the first couple of paragraph. I had trouble containing my laughter at such rubbish. :hysterical::hysterical:

May the conference be a great success and the impact wide reaching, where we see public, staff, SO members leave the flock en masse. We look forward to reading and seeing all the news and presentations. :thumbsup:
 

Django

Patron
it is Mr. Miscavige’s unwavering adherence to L. Ron Hubbard’s vision that has propelled Scientology.....

...into the shitter where it belongs.

Jesus H. Mother Freakin' Christ, whose idea was it that this putrid cock-spew of rank bullshit was going to somehow deter something as inevitable as Flag Down from happening? Man-o-man-o-man, the end of the Scientology brain-screw has maybe never seemed so near. THIS is the best they could come up with? THIS?

David Miscavige: It's over. Give it up, you tiny, abusive, illiterate little fuck-dweeb, We won years ago, and you just confirmed it. By authorizing the release of this rambling, nonsensical, patently ridiculous screed, you've basically just given up, haven't you? You, a diminutive no-dick loser scumbag, have really just surrendered, no? Fuckin' A, that response was more damning than the whole 199 day Squirrel Busters episode, wrapped up in a text wall of sad, epic proportions.

DING DING DING!!!!! WE HAVE A WINNER!!!! And it ain't you, Little Tiny 5'1" Davey, the Jr. High Punching Bag to end all Jr. High Punching Bags. You've just proven to the world what a useless, impotent piece of stinking excrement you truly are.

Now, witness the power of this fully armed and operational Flag Down conference as it furthers the utter destruction of your evil irrelevant little cult. We are continuing to enjoy the dismantling of your criminal organization, you laughable, impotent little toad.

Choke on it, Bitch. You Suck Cocks On Hollywood Boulevard, and I'm sure you're grateful for the income and the attention. You annoying, irrelevant piece of shit....
 

HALP

New Member
"There are certain characteristics and mental attitudes that cause a percentage of the population to...oppose any betterment activity or group. This small percentage of society (roughly 2 percent) cannot tolerate that Scientology is successfully improving conditions around the world. This same 2 percent is opposed to any effective self-betterment activity. The reason they so rabidly oppose Scientology is because it is doing so much to help society."


You're damn right! I cannot stand these millions of Scientologists that are doing so much to improve society. It's thrown in my face every day and I'm fed up with it. I can't turn on my TV or browse the internet without being bombarded with all these "great" news stories about how Scientology is curing this and saving that and rescuing this and that. You on drugs, bro? BAM! NOT ANYMORE, BECAUSE SCIENTOLOGY. Just stop it. Stop helping people. Stop saving society. It's very annoying that you are doing that.


I do oppose any sort of betterment activity or group. For example, every time I drive by any school I'll slow to a crawl, roll down the window, lay on the horn and begin shouting like a madman: "WHAT ARE YOU DOING??! STOP TEACHING THOSE KIDS, YOU FOOLS!!!" Kids are all smart-mouthed little brats, so why should we make them any smarter? Betterment is highly overrated in society. Scientologists are the best at betterment and that makes them the worst at betterment. I suppose they are the best at worsement.


They are constantly saving lives and curing people. Why do you insist on doing that, Scientology? Could you please not do that anymore? I'll bet it is the damn Scientologists that are opening free health clinics everywhere. There is a free clinic opening near me and I'm so sick over it that I might end up at the very clinic I oppose. At city hall they held an open meeting before the zoning issue vote, and I had a great speech prepared about why we should not help sick people in any way. I thought it was going very well until they cut off my microphone and I was escorted out by two cops. Why do we need cops anyways? As great as these Scientologists are, why don't we just let them police our society? THE CLAM PATROL WILL PROTECT US. They are the only ones who can help us.


And why are you so charitable, Church of Scientology? Tuck some of that money away. Maybe buy yourself something nice. Seriously. You deserve at least some pocket money for all you do to clear the planet and save society. You don't owe the people all the freebies they want. All these freeloaders... I get these letters from charities begging for my money. Just to mess with them, I send back a photo of myself burning the money I would have sent if they hadn't bothered me. Of course, I wouldn't have sent them any money anyways, and it's actually a photo I found online. Haha. I'm very cheap and I'd never really burn my own money or give it to a charity that will help people. But not all charities are bad like Scientology charities. I do support the ASPCA and the Humane Society because I do support the betterment of doggies. Woofff!


Thank you for listening to my rant. Please go away now, Scientology.
 

The_Fixer

Class Clown
I can get that wall of text down to one word:


BULLSHIT.

LOL

So, 3,582 words...

I wonder which are the most frequently repeating words?

Oh wait, let's convert that hideous wall of text into a word cloud and check out what the real message is:


ScreenShot2014-05-01at61941PM_zps06122956.png


TOP 10 WORDS (by frequency)

1. Scientology
2. Mr.
3. Hubbard
4. Miscavige
5. Ron
6. Church
7. Million
8. Religion
9. World
10. Flag


5-WORD MESSAGE DISTILLED (by frequency)
Scientology
Hubbard
Miscavige
Church
Million


Get it? LOL

Scientology is Hubbard, Miscavige and a church to make millions.​

Well, I thought my interpretation was a little more concise?
 

The_Fixer

Class Clown
Verbal diarrhoea at it's best.... :biggrin:

Imagine the time it took to put this together and who in their right mind would send an email this long.

I didn't read past the first couple of paragraph. I had trouble containing my laughter at such rubbish. :hysterical::hysterical:

May the conference be a great success and the impact wide reaching, where we see public, staff, SO members leave the flock en masse. We look forward to reading and seeing all the news and presentations. :thumbsup:

Probably someone who has had like 2 hours sleep in the last three days before he wrote it, I guess and wasn't sounding too coherent by then.....
 

anonomog

Gold Meritorious Patron
Scientology exposing their own fail in 3000 words.

For an organisation that is streaking ahead in planetary clearing, it is a bit odd they can't clear Clearwater of anti-scientologists and keep it clear. We are only talking about getting rid of a measly 2% here. What's the problem?
 
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