Dating a Scientologist - I Have Questions

[HelluvaHoax!]

..

Borrowed from the STUPID THREAD. . .

[SUP]--------------------------------------------------------------------[/SUP]​

Inspired by the thread "DATING A SCIENTOLOGIST", where discussion swirls about the perils of a professional wog being handled by a homo novice.

 

[sallydannce]

..

Borrowed from the STUPID THREAD. . .

[SUP]--------------------------------------------------------------------[/SUP]​

Inspired by the thread "DATING A SCIENTOLOGIST", where discussion swirls about the perils of a professional wog being handled by a homo novice.

Though I find myself smiling, the above reminds me of so much that happened. There is always 3+ people in a cult-identity scientology relationship.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

..

Though I find myself smiling, the above reminds me of so much that happened. There is always 3+ people in a cult-identity scientology relationship.

3+ people....exactly correct!

Dr. Hubbard's Third Party Law:

"FOR A QUARREL TO OCCUR, AN UNKNOWN THIRD PARTY MUST BE
ACTIVE IN PRODUCING IT BETWEEN TWO POTENTIAL OPPONENTS."

​

However, after decades more of exhaustive research, Dr. Hubbard later amended the 3rd Party Law, when a hitherto unsuspected discovery yielded the "7th Party Law".

It states that in order to successfully cause sufficient interpersonal turmoil to disconnect Scientologists from their suppressive relatives, friends and family, it in fact requires 7 parties--one from each of the scientology org board's seven divisions.

 

[sallydannce]

Preamble: I am not telling this very shortened version of events to get attention or any response from others. I have no need for either. I am recounting it because it is the raw reality of what happens due to the influence of the cult of scientology.

The day I got divorced, we went to the court together. We were civilised and composed. Okay so my head wasn’t composed, or even close to calm, but outwardly I stood tall, I even smiled. I signed the forms, swore before the court official and did my part to make the divorce legal.

That evening we shared a meal. A sort of sad continuation to our version of a “civilised friendly divorce”. And as we sat eating, he said “Girl, if scientology hadn’t interfered in our life so much, we might have had a chance.” I couldn’t really talk cos there was this huge lump in my throat, so just muttered something inane, and did my best to remain outwardly calm. I didn’t cry in front of him. I did my sobbing later, privately.

We both knew he was right.

 

[Gizmo]

Preamble: I am not telling this very shortened version of events to get attention or any response from others. I have no need for either. I am recounting it because it is the raw reality of what happens due to the influence of the cult of scientology.

The day I got divorced, we went to the court together. We were civilised and composed. Okay so my head wasn’t composed, or even close to calm, but outwardly I stood tall, I even smiled. I signed the forms, swore before the court official and did my part to make the divorce legal.

That evening we shared a meal. A sort of sad continuation to our version of a “civilised friendly divorce”. And as we sat eating, he said “Girl, if scientology hadn’t interfered in our life so much, we might have had a chance.” I couldn’t really talk cos there was this huge lump in my throat, so just muttered something inane, and did my best to remain outwardly calm. I didn’t cry in front of him. I did my sobbing later, privately.

We both knew he was right.

Yeah, I once had a bridge buddy......................long gone.

 

[Soul of Ginnungagab]

WOG3232 I will just quote a line from your first post:

I've been dating a woman for the past 3.5+ years. ... snip ...

The fact that you two has maintained a relationship for that long despite the disagreements tells a story in itself.

Maybe both she and you have had your own moments where you thought that it would be common sense to end the relation. I would guess so. But emotions and feelings are not ruled by reason or intellect.

Some people, especially scientologists, think that they create their own emotions and feelings. And yeah, in some sense it is correct, you are a creator of your own life. It is just that the deep soul of the matter is a lot more than analysis, reason, intellect and brain.

So she, the scientologist, did not let go of the relation for 3.5+ years, and you, the non-scientologist, didn't either, despite tough circumstances. That is a quality of life and love!

Hope you (both of you) will discover great values that you experienced or learned in your relationship.

***

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

...

Traditional Wedding Vows:
I, (name), take you (name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.


Scientology Version: I, (name), take you (name), to be my [STRIKE](wife/husband)[/STRIKE] 2D Terminal, to [STRIKE]have[/STRIKE] confront and to [STRIKE]hold[/STRIKE] duplicate from this day forward, for [STRIKE]better[/STRIKE] upstat or for [STRIKE]worse[/STRIKE] downstat, for [STRIKE]richer[/STRIKE] Affluence, for [STRIKE]poorer[/STRIKE] DB low havingness, in [STRIKE]sickness[/STRIKE] PTSness and in [STRIKE]health[/STRIKE] Non-PTSness, to [STRIKE]love[/STRIKE] maintain ARC and to [STRIKE]cherish[/STRIKE] utilize as a valuable resource for me to pay for my Bridge and help Ron clear the planet; from this day forward until death do us part and/or an Ethics Officer says I cannot talk to you any more because you were spotted as a major SP and I should disconnect and write KRs in case you decide to go legal and OSA needs dirt on you.


Il (Scientologie) est romantique, ne est ce pas?

 

[oneonewasaracecar]

SADLY I'm not OSA?

This did make me laugh.

You are the wrong balance of human and Marcabian to be OSA.

 

[oneonewasaracecar]

Hard to say. He or she does say scn is all caught up with guilt and all. I've not read any if safeweb's other posts. On the net, anyone posting pseudonymously can be anything, til people get a chance to meet each other IRL.

True, but very few posts. Fits the profile.

 

[WOG3232]

Those are all good resources, thanks for sharing them. I hope they will help some of our Lurkers, too!

However, I really hope that our Woggie friend here will not focus on trying to "fix" her, but will instead focus on what he wants in his life for himself and his children...and then will go out and find or create it. Best wishes for a long, happy, healthy, prosperous and CULT FREE life!

Start living it!

Thanks SweetandLight. I have decided to end the relationship and cut all ties (clearn break). Its not fair to either one of us if we remain in contact with each other, plus to be quite honest the whole concept of being with someone in or even remotely engaged in the CofS has me completely turned off. I've started the slow, emotionally painful process of moving on. I do wish her well and hope that she finds happiness in whatever she decides to do.

 

[WOG3232]

The org would put her under intense pressure to disconnect, once it became obvious that a choice would need to be made by her.



If it were me, she could spend HER OWN MONEY, to the extent that she was not relying upon me to pay her bills (or her fair share of the mutual household bills if we were living together). Call me politically incorrect, but if I'm going to be required to pay to be her sugar daddy, she better be young, cute, and have a high libido.



At this stage, if she attempts to reduce her participation to what he would consider to be tolerable levels, the org will (correctly) decide that it's because of him, and therefore will put her under intense pressure to disconnect.

Enthetan - I apprecaite your feedback, but this is a no win situation. I'm not looking to "fix" or "cure" or "change" anyone. I never was. I wish things were different, but she has her path and I have mine. I just decided that there's too much of a gap for us to have a shot at long term happiness. Successful relationships are tough enough without adding such large handicaps to them.

 

[DoneDeal]

......Successful relationships are tough enough without adding such large handicaps to them.

That's a good statement. And I can attest that scn is a very large handicap when navigating the realities of life.

 

[George Layton]

The bottom line is:

(1) If she had to choose between you and the church, which would she choose? Maybe you wouldn't make her choose, but there's a good chance the church would.

(2) Would she accept an upper limit on how much money she could spend on them, and a lower limit on how much time she would spend with you? How much money and how much time? She could easily "disappear" from your life, coming back only long enough to get more money.

(3) Would she be in a situation where she couldn't leave without blowing, with other family members on the inside who would have to disconnect from her if she blew?

I'm not saying it couldn't possibly work out but if she's "dedicated" as all that it could be difficult.

Helena

I disagree. The bottom line is protect the children, in the lives of these two people, from the influence of scientology. There are no courses, that may be helpful to the children, in scientology no matter what some people that post here might say. If you were told that the main of a lion in the wild is the softest fur you could ever believe and that holding your hand on a lions side as it purrs can give such a joyous jolt to the emotions, it must be remembered that when that lion gets hungry it will eat you. It is the nature of the beast and that is scientology, it will eat you, that it what it was created for.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

I disagree. The bottom line is protect the children, in the lives of these two people, from the influence of scientology. There are no courses, that may be helpful to the children, in scientology no matter what some people that post here might say. If you were told that the main of a lion in the wild is the softest fur you could ever believe and that holding your hand on a lions side as it purrs can give such a joyous jolt to the emotions, it must be remembered that when that lion gets hungry it will eat you. It is the nature of the beast and that is scientology, it will eat you, that it what it was created for.

There is actually one auditing process that would help children of Scientologists:

"Look around here and find someone else that could raise you."
(besides those delusional two adults you live with that pretend they are OTs and whose
greatest hope for your future is that you become able enough to hunt dead invisible aliens) ​

 

[Gizmo]

There is actually one auditing process that would help children of Scientologists:

"Look around here and find someone else that could raise you."
(besides those delusional two adults you live with that pretend they are OTs and whose
greatest hope for your future is that you become able enough to hunt dead invisible aliens) ​

HH, not only this post, but all your posts continue to peel the onion layers deeper & deeper of just how completely insane being a scientologist really is.

Thank you for continuing to peel layer after layer - one day it will all be gone.

 

[WOG3232]

HH, not only this post, but all your posts continue to peel the onion layers deeper & deeper of just how completely insane being a scientologist really is.

Thank you for continuing to peel layer after layer - one day it will all be gone.

HH,or anyone else - I've always wanted to know how this "Course" process looks/works. For those of us not super familiar with it can you offer a layman's version/walk-through of the process along with samples of any questions they ask, topics they discuss, etc.? It would help to know what it looks like for adults and for children.

 

[Claire Swazey]

Depends on the course. But...they all have checksheets. Students do the things on them, then initial and date the entry. If the cksheet item calls for a supv or coach to review and work with the student, then that person initials the item.

Generally, there's a theory portion, then a practice portion where drills are often done.

In the theory portion, the person reads a reference or listens to a tape. He or she may be "checked out" (like a quiz, sort of) by a course supv or another student, depending.

There often are essays to be written. Or "demos" (demonstrations) of a principle. Demos are usually done in clay or can be on paper or with small objects.

A practical is an exercise the person has to do. He may have to go outside and talk to people and note their reactions or he may have to do a drill. Drills could be TRs (communication drills) or e meter drills. I once, along with other students, played audience to a ministerial student conducting a mock group auditing process which I often done in Scientology Sunday Services. So I was a coach, he was the student.

Scn courserooms are overseen by a course supervisor. He does not lecture or teach. He oversees, looks to see if anyone needs help, assigns coaches, or does or delegates check outs. He may also do word clearing unless they also have a separate word clearer. Supv also sends people to ethics if they are late or otherwise breaking policy or doing anything cult doesn't allow. He oversees course completions interfacing with the division (qualifications aka qual) that gives final exams, etc.

So some of it's self study, though it's done in the CofS courseroom or Academy.

There are a lot of rules. Students can't take time off or deviate from their course schedule without permission.

A part tine schedule for a student is 7 or less two and a three fourths you course periods per week. 3 a week is minimal. Can only be on 1 course at a time til it's done. Supposedly, one goes at one's own pace, but if too slow, they will be worked with or interrogated, sent to qual or whatever.

 

[Intentionally Blank]

HH,or anyone else - I've always wanted to know how this "Course" process looks/works. For those of us not super familiar with it can you offer a layman's version/walk-through of the process along with samples of any questions they ask, topics they discuss, etc.? It would help to know what it looks like for adults and for children.

There are two sides that go up the Bridge to Total [STRIKE]Freedom[/STRIKE] Enslavement. One side is the Auditing or Processing and the other is Training or Course.

In auditing the member sits with an auditor who asks questions to which the member responds while holding onto the e-meter cans. The e-meter, which is a rude lie detector, measures resistance which is displayed via a needle (think old time speedometer). In order to move to the next level of auditing certain needle functions must be met and certain phenomenon must be displayed. The questions asked depend on what level of auditing is being done. Many of the questions are extremely personal/private in nature including sexual, criminal, and other topics one would prefer to not have public (think confessional with the confessee asked leading questions) These have been used against people when they try to leave the cult. Oh, and it's very costly. Currently just under 200$ US if I remember correctly. Members who are actively auditing will blow through several hours a week.

In processing the member pays a lot of money to read very boring, outdated, simplistic textbooks on a variety of topics. There are courses for newbie/public members and more advanced courses for long timers. Courses cover things like communication, child rearing, ahd hubbards insane ravings about just about anything. At the end of each chapter the member will fill out a worksheet demonstrating understanding with a spot for how this boring, stupid, outdated material made their life better.

Both auditing and training have built in elements of mind control and hypnosis and are built with the intent to subjugate the member's ability to think for or trust him/herself. Both include confusion, misdirection, boredom, trance and other well known mind control techniques. When on course one is not allowed to question the material presented. It is assumed to be 100% divinely (as in hubbard/divine) Truth. If you disagree or have questions it is only because you have failed to fully comprehend something (such as the meaning of simple words earlier in the text).

For the privilege of being allowed to audit or train you will empty your savings, mortgage your house, spend your kids' college fund, and cut off completely any friend or loved one who suggests you might want to use the brain god gave you.

Grade chart attached.

Blanky

 

[George Layton]

HH,or anyone else - I've always wanted to know how this "Course" process looks/works. For those of us not super familiar with it can you offer a layman's version/walk-through of the process along with samples of any questions they ask, topics they discuss, etc.? It would help to know what it looks like for adults and for children.

Here is a link but this is for security checks not courses.

http://www.xenu.net/archive/books/isd/isd-5i.htm

 

[renegade]

Enthetan - I apprecaite your feedback, but this is a no win situation. I'm not looking to "fix" or "cure" or "change" anyone. I never was. I wish things were different, but she has her path and I have mine. I just decided that there's too much of a gap for us to have a shot at long term happiness. Successful relationships are tough enough without adding such large handicaps to them.

My hat's off to you for sticking around for 3.5 years and giving her that extended window of opportunity to wake up and leave/escape (I wish I had been that lucky). But no, she wants to swim upstream against the tide, what can you do.

She may wake up after you leave and realize how right you were. Deep down she knows who really cares about her, and it ain't the church!