Once upon a time on a beautiful day in [MONTH], David Miscavige had just finished a meeting with [PEOPLE] at [PLACE], and he had to pee. So he got up and walked to the bathroom and peed in the toilet.
But something happened to him in that bathroom, we don’t know what exactly. And when he came out of the bathroom he went directly into a private office in the building he was in, closed the door and locked it. There, David Miscavige sat. He was alone in the office and pondered what just happened to him in the bathroom. He sat there alone for [TIME PERIOD].
What had happened that day was that God called him. David had an immediate change of heart that he did not cause. Someone had prayed for him earlier and God answered that person’s prayer and that’s what caused it to happen and set it off.
All of a sudden David knelt down on his knees and began to call out “Jesus Christ… Jesus Christ… Jesus Christ….” Over and over again he said it. After [TIME PERIOD] of doing this he left the office he was in. And then he went back to visit with his people who he had just gotten out of the meeting with.
He called one of his friends aside and whispered something in his ear. When the friend heard what David whispered in his ear, his countenance became terrible and horribly frightening. The friend immediately got in his car and drove away.
To the people who were still around him, he spoke to them in a loud voice, without a microphone, for he was yelling. And he said to them “[ONE SENTENCE].” The whole crowd became astonished at what David had just said. But David slipped away and went to a private place where there was a Holy Bible. Out of curiosity he wondered what Heaven was, for the Lord had made him to question it at that very moment.
And he opened to a chapter at the end of the Bible called The Revelation and when he read this, “They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads,” he remembered what happened to him in the bathroom earlier, and prayed to God that would be true for him. And at that moment David Miscavige became a born-again Christian. He forsook Scientology and realized there was someone better than his teacher L. Ron Hubbard. He realized at that moment that he wanted to be friends with Jesus Christ, someone who actually loved him and conquered death. And he realized at that moment that despite all the goodness he knew about L. Ron Hubbard, Jesus Christ was better.
The Holy Spirit came upon David Miscavige, and from that moment on he no longer represented the Church of Scientology. Instead, he became a disciple of Jesus Christ and lived happily ever after.
Amen.
