jodie
Patron with Honors
It is very interesting reading different people's experiences and stories once they have left the cult.
One of the themes that often comes up is that people are are ashamed of things that they have done while in the cult. IMHO, people betrayed their own integrity, if they are ashamed later.
Quite a few manage to get out the cult with their integrity in tact. Those are the lucky ones. I think healing may be easier for them.
But for those who lost their integrity for this cult - that is a b*tch to deal with.
I am one of those. It will never go away. 12 years out, many experiences, a whole new life, all on track. Except for one thing. I still do not have my self-respect back. I never will get it back. I have to learn how to live in spite of that. I manage, mostly by focusing on getting through the day, one day at a time. It is not guilt - guilt is pointless. It is just a deadness in a certain area.
And then the age old question - how much of that is the cults' fault, and how much of that is the individuals' fault. The answers probably vary according to individual circumstances. In my case - it was something I would never have done if I had not been in this cult. But the fact that I did do it, meant that I had a flawed character in the first place - it just was not apparant. So I do not blame the cult for what I did. I blame myself fully.
So, how does one live in spite of that?
Simply. Humbly. Realistically. One day at a time.
And the Tao makes for damn comforting reading.
- jodie
One of the themes that often comes up is that people are are ashamed of things that they have done while in the cult. IMHO, people betrayed their own integrity, if they are ashamed later.
Quite a few manage to get out the cult with their integrity in tact. Those are the lucky ones. I think healing may be easier for them.
But for those who lost their integrity for this cult - that is a b*tch to deal with.
I am one of those. It will never go away. 12 years out, many experiences, a whole new life, all on track. Except for one thing. I still do not have my self-respect back. I never will get it back. I have to learn how to live in spite of that. I manage, mostly by focusing on getting through the day, one day at a time. It is not guilt - guilt is pointless. It is just a deadness in a certain area.
And then the age old question - how much of that is the cults' fault, and how much of that is the individuals' fault. The answers probably vary according to individual circumstances. In my case - it was something I would never have done if I had not been in this cult. But the fact that I did do it, meant that I had a flawed character in the first place - it just was not apparant. So I do not blame the cult for what I did. I blame myself fully.
So, how does one live in spite of that?
Simply. Humbly. Realistically. One day at a time.
And the Tao makes for damn comforting reading.
- jodie