definitely an adventure

anon

New Member
Just as a preface to this story I am going to include as much detail as humanely possible without revealing my possible identity to the church (never got declared and still have family who i would rather not disconnect from). It begins as any other typical sea org story. I was introduced to scientology in the very formative stages of my adolescence. How I describe it to others is picture being a child who is very eager to learn, generally happy, has very little problems with communicating with people and can sell roughly 5 copies of DMSMH (my memory is a bit fuzzy, I was eleven), has multiple families members on staff as well a family in high ranking with the IAS; a sea org recruiter's SLAM DUNK. Upon being manipulated by high ranking executives playing to my positive attributes and how i can affect millions of people by joining the sea org and save the world from the 2.5%e'rs. He literally said to me that if I and some made-up number of scientologist have to join the SO and significantly turn around the state of the world it will not be destroyed and we as thetans receive yet another implant on our whole track. I was told that with my IQ and ability as an auditor, trs, study tech etc. that i could be a very influential person in the high ranks of his organization. BULLSHIT. But i was so fucking excited to join the SO change the world with all the rest of my friends who got duped and exploited for cheap labor, just the idea of being apart of the most ethical organization in the world tickled my fancy. Unfortunately upon entry of the epf this idea about the ethics level of the SO exposed itself very early when me and my fellow comm-runnning epfs were sorting telexs, krs, chits and all that fun stuff where i ran across a knowledge report of someone i know to be very ethical had sexually involved themselves with a recruitee while being married. I told myself that everyone has a case and a bank so it was justified. Just days after completing the epf i got posted as a glorified gopher in div 4 and then observed a high ranking official screaming at a woman who was also an exec but the mans junior. lady was about 65 and sweet as can be. he called her stupid fucking c**t and that should be comm eved and rpfed. This to me was a bit troubling, definitely more troubling than the last incident but i had to inquire. So decided to ask a girl who finished the epf with me but was re routed off of it from the cmo epf. She explained to me how it was something that i couldn't understand because they were OT and higher toned than we were as pre-clear. While it appeared to be that they were operating sub 2.0 really they were up at 40. Just a side note, this is very common practice in scientology that I wasn't aware of at the time but they love handling bad pr with more scientology tech that doesnt fully address the issue but they use it as a way to manipulation though by creating realizations from tech associated with the issue at hand. there is always a policy or hcob somewhere that can justify even the most harmful of acts on another by a staff or sea org member.

Im sorry for the pause in the story but i gotta go to work folks! start here and if there are any questions when I login i would be more than happy to answer them and i will continue the story.
 

Student of Trinity

Silver Meritorious Patron
It is a good story; but the paragraph break thing is also true. Paragraphs are a tech that works and helps people.

About paragraphs in general: sometimes I wish people would collect more of their sentences into paragraphs. Scientology in particular seems to foster this disjointed style where everyone writes in little epigrams. Paragraphs have one or two sentences at most. It gives me the feeling that people expect to make terse pronouncements and have them accepted as obvious, instead of having to state a claim and then back it up. Was that Hubbard's pulp fiction style? If not, what was it?

I'm afraid I'm too lazy to track down the quotation, but there was a famously intellectual archbishop of Canterbury, probably William Temple, who said that proper grammar was nice but correct punctuation was what really showed a clear train of thought. I think he actually had a point; and that what he said goes for paragraph structure, too.
 

Intentionally Blank

Scientology Widow
Hi and welcome anon! Looking forward to hearing more of your story. I'd love to know how long you were in the SO and how you got out. But only if it doesn't compromise your identity and connection to family.

Blanky
 

Claire Swazey

Spokeshole, fence sitter
It is a good story; but the paragraph break thing is also true. Paragraphs are a tech that works and helps people.

About paragraphs in general: sometimes I wish people would collect more of their sentences into paragraphs. Scientology in particular seems to foster this disjointed style where everyone writes in little epigrams. Paragraphs have one or two sentences at most. It gives me the feeling that people expect to make terse pronouncements and have them accepted as obvious, instead of having to state a claim and then back it up. Was that Hubbard's pulp fiction style? If not, what was it?

I'm afraid I'm too lazy to track down the quotation, but there was a famously intellectual archbishop of Canterbury, probably William Temple, who said that proper grammar was nice but correct punctuation was what really showed a clear train of thought. I think he actually had a point; and that what he said goes for paragraph structure, too.

I once got chided by 2 ppl for too many paragraphs, including employing the use of double spaces in a list-LOL!

But, yep, some breaks in text make for an easier read...
 

I told you I was trouble

Suspended animation
Just as a preface to this story I am going to include as much detail as humanely possible without revealing my possible identity to the church (never got declared and still have family who i would rather not disconnect from). It begins as any other typical sea org story. I was introduced to scientology in the very formative stages of my adolescence. How I describe it to others is picture being a child who is very eager to learn, generally happy, has very little problems with communicating with people and can sell roughly 5 copies of DMSMH (my memory is a bit fuzzy, I was eleven), has multiple families members on staff as well a family in high ranking with the IAS; a sea org recruiter's SLAM DUNK. Upon being manipulated by high ranking executives playing to my positive attributes and how i can affect millions of people by joining the sea org and save the world from the 2.5%e'rs. He literally said to me that if I and some made-up number of scientologist have to join the SO and significantly turn around the state of the world it will not be destroyed and we as thetans receive yet another implant on our whole track. I was told that with my IQ and ability as an auditor, trs, study tech etc. that i could be a very influential person in the high ranks of his organization. BULLSHIT. But i was so fucking excited to join the SO change the world with all the rest of my friends who got duped and exploited for cheap labor, just the idea of being apart of the most ethical organization in the world tickled my fancy. Unfortunately upon entry of the epf this idea about the ethics level of the SO exposed itself very early when me and my fellow comm-runnning epfs were sorting telexs, krs, chits and all that fun stuff where i ran across a knowledge report of someone i know to be very ethical had sexually involved themselves with a recruitee while being married. I told myself that everyone has a case and a bank so it was justified. Just days after completing the epf i got posted as a glorified gopher in div 4 and then observed a high ranking official screaming at a woman who was also an exec but the mans junior. lady was about 65 and sweet as can be. he called her stupid fucking c**t and that should be comm eved and rpfed. This to me was a bit troubling, definitely more troubling than the last incident but i had to inquire. So decided to ask a girl who finished the epf with me but was re routed off of it from the cmo epf. She explained to me how it was something that i couldn't understand because they were OT and higher toned than we were as pre-clear. While it appeared to be that they were operating sub 2.0 really they were up at 40. Just a side note, this is very common practice in scientology that I wasn't aware of at the time but they love handling bad pr with more scientology tech that doesnt fully address the issue but they use it as a way to manipulation though by creating realizations from tech associated with the issue at hand. there is always a policy or hcob somewhere that can justify even the most harmful of acts on another by a staff or sea org member.

Im sorry for the pause in the story but i gotta go to work folks! start here and if there are any questions when I login i would be more than happy to answer them and i will continue the story.



Generational scientologists can have a particularly difficult exit from the cult and I sincerely hope we can help you to come to terms with it all, that's what many of us are here for.

I'm glad that you managed to get out.


:welcome2::welcome2::welcome2::welcome2::welcome2:

 

pebbles

Patron with Honors
Reformatted for readability:

Just as a preface to this story I am going to include as much detail as humanely possible without revealing my possible identity to the church (never got declared and still have family who i would rather not disconnect from

It begins as any other typical sea org story. I was introduced to scientology in the very formative stages of my adolescence. How I describe it to others is picture being a child who is very eager to learn, generally happy, has very little problems with communicating with people and can sell roughly 5 copies of DMSMH (my memory is a bit fuzzy, I was eleven), has multiple families members on staff as well a family in high ranking with the IAS; a sea org recruiter's SLAM DUNK.

Upon being manipulated by high ranking executives playing to my positive attributes and how i can affect millions of people by joining the sea org and save the world from the 2.5%e'rs. He literally said to me that if I and some made-up number of scientologist have to join the SO and significantly turn around the state of the world it will not be destroyed and we as thetans receive yet another implant on our whole track. I was told that with my IQ and ability as an auditor, trs, study tech etc. that i could be a very influential person in the high ranks of his organization.

BULLSHIT. But i was so fucking excited to join the SO change the world with all the rest of my friends who got duped and exploited for cheap labor, just the idea of being apart of the most ethical organization in the world tickled my fancy. Unfortunately upon entry of the epf this idea about the ethics level of the SO exposed itself very early when me and my fellow comm-runnning epfs were sorting telexs, krs, chits and all that fun stuff where i ran across a knowledge report of someone i know to be very ethical had sexually involved themselves with a recruitee while being married. I told myself that everyone has a case and a bank so it was justified.

Just days after completing the epf i got posted as a glorified gopher in div 4 and then observed a high ranking official screaming at a woman who was also an exec but the mans junior. lady was about 65 and sweet as can be. he called her stupid fucking c**t and that should be comm eved and rpfed. This to me was a bit troubling, definitely more troubling than the last incident but i had to inquire. So decided to ask a girl who finished the epf with me but was re routed off of it from the cmo epf. She explained to me how it was something that i couldn't understand because they were OT and higher toned than we were as pre-clear. While it appeared to be that they were operating sub 2.0 really they were up at 40.

Just a side note, this is very common practice in scientology that I wasn't aware of at the time but they love handling bad pr with more scientology tech that doesnt fully address the issue but they use it as a way to manipulation though by creating realizations from tech associated with the issue at hand. there is always a policy or hcob somewhere that can justify even the most harmful of acts on another by a staff or sea org member.

Im sorry for the pause in the story but i gotta go to work folks! start here and if there are any questions when I login i would be more than happy to answer them and i will continue the story.
 

anon

New Member
Here is the full post with the reformatting on part one courtesy of pebbles!

note: I am a newbie so if there is a better way for me to post or there are community norms I'm not following please let me know! I appreciate the feedback.



Just as a preface to this story I am going to include as much detail as humanely possible without revealing my possible identity to the church (never got declared and still have family who i would rather not disconnect from


It begins as any other typical sea org story. I was introduced to scientology in the very formative stages of my adolescence. How I describe it to others is picture being a child who is very eager to learn, generally happy, has very little problems with communicating with people and can sell roughly 5 copies of DMSMH (my memory is a bit fuzzy, I was eleven), has multiple families members on staff as well a family in high ranking with the IAS; a sea org recruiter's SLAM DUNK.

Upon being manipulated by high ranking executives playing to my positive attributes and how i can affect millions of people by joining the sea org and save the world from the 2.5%e'rs. He literally said to me that if I and some made-up number of scientologist have to join the SO and significantly turn around the state of the world it will not be destroyed and we as thetans receive yet another implant on our whole track. I was told that with my IQ and ability as an auditor, trs, study tech etc. that i could be a very influential person in the high ranks of his organization.

BULLSHIT. But i was so fucking excited to join the SO change the world with all the rest of my friends who got duped and exploited for cheap labor, just the idea of being apart of the most ethical organization in the world tickled my fancy. Unfortunately upon entry of the epf this idea about the ethics level of the SO exposed itself very early when me and my fellow comm-runnning epfs were sorting telexs, krs, chits and all that fun stuff where i ran across a knowledge report of someone i know to be very ethical had sexually involved themselves with a recruitee while being married. I told myself that everyone has a case and a bank so it was justified.

Just days after completing the epf i got posted as a glorified gopher in div 4 and then observed a high ranking official screaming at a woman who was also an exec but the mans junior. lady was about 65 and sweet as can be. he called her stupid fucking c**t and that should be comm eved and rpfed. This to me was a bit troubling, definitely more troubling than the last incident but i had to inquire. So decided to ask a girl who finished the epf with me but was re routed off of it from the cmo epf. She explained to me how it was something that i couldn't understand because they were OT and higher toned than we were as pre-clear. While it appeared to be that they were operating sub 2.0 really they were up at 40.

Just a side note, this is very common practice in scientology that I wasn't aware of at the time but they love handling bad pr with more scientology tech that doesnt fully address the issue but they use it as a way to manipulation though by creating realizations from tech associated with the issue at hand. there is always a policy or hcob somewhere that can justify even the most harmful of acts on another by a staff or sea org member.

Time after time over the course of very few months I witnessed encounters like this, only to get worse when it got closer and closer to the top. I began to absolutely hate my life. On a day in and day out basis I thought about all my wog friends playing sports, hanging out girls, partying, going to normal classes and doing fun teenage shit.

Everything only got worse when I had a family member sneak me a cell phone that I could use. Everyday I became more depressed and angry. The feeling of being betrayed by people whom I previously regarded as my personal heroes that were saving the world for all of mankind. My image of them was warped and I had finally seen the underbelly of the church of Scientology though I could not fully accept it as true.

Guilt weighed on me. I was still brainwashed. I had the idea that the feelings I had towards the church as an SO member were out ethics and I was letting down my family, my friends in the SO, my senior and on down the dynamics.

It came to a head on a very specific day where i was supposed to see one of my family member who I had not seen in a long time and had everything approved through the right terminal but was stopped by high ranking executives because of the cleanliness of a light fixture in my room. Which mind you the stain was circa 1985 and about the size of a quarter. Upon trying every possible cleaning solution and countless effort from many different people the stain was still not removed and i was not "allowed" to leave.

But I left and saw my family, all somehow under the radar without any sort of recourse. But so began my exit strategy. Now this is where it is going to be real hard to me to tell the full details. If you really want to know more maybe you can personally message me and we can talk for a bit and if I feel comfortable I elaborate a bit more.

MY EXIT: It happened very quickly, one second I was calling the person I trusted the most out of any human the next i was looking over my shoulder watching all of the security guards feeling like a criminal and they picked up on it. I was chased and captured. I was held in a locked room inside of the security area. When I finally saw familiar faces I felt comfort but realized i shouldn't.

I felt as if the yelling would never stop. The threats of being declared resonated with me and I looked inward to questioned my motives in everything. I was just a kid.

In order to leave I just had to do the sec check. I had no problem telling them everything I did, it had happened so many times before. What I didn't know was going to happen was when my auditor began evaluating me and telling me how terrible I was and the things I had done on all of our session breaks.

It was long and arduous. I was beaten, battered and abused but I gotta tell you when I finally walked out those doors I was free and happy for the first time in a while.

Reintegration into our society is a process experience still to this day. It is a constant thing to try change the way my mind thinks about life and the causative factors of all of life's phenomena. I wanted to share not to bash on the church because I have come to peace with their existence and what happened. There really just has never been anyone who I thought would understand.

thanks for listening,

anon
 

I told you I was trouble

Suspended animation
Here is the full post with the reformatting on part one courtesy of pebbles!

note: I am a newbie so if there is a better way for me to post or there are community norms I'm not following please let me know! I appreciate the feedback.



Just as a preface to this story I am going to include as much detail as humanely possible without revealing my possible identity to the church (never got declared and still have family who i would rather not disconnect from


It begins as any other typical sea org story. I was introduced to scientology in the very formative stages of my adolescence. How I describe it to others is picture being a child who is very eager to learn, generally happy, has very little problems with communicating with people and can sell roughly 5 copies of DMSMH (my memory is a bit fuzzy, I was eleven), has multiple families members on staff as well a family in high ranking with the IAS; a sea org recruiter's SLAM DUNK.

Upon being manipulated by high ranking executives playing to my positive attributes and how i can affect millions of people by joining the sea org and save the world from the 2.5%e'rs. He literally said to me that if I and some made-up number of scientologist have to join the SO and significantly turn around the state of the world it will not be destroyed and we as thetans receive yet another implant on our whole track. I was told that with my IQ and ability as an auditor, trs, study tech etc. that i could be a very influential person in the high ranks of his organization.

BULLSHIT. But i was so fucking excited to join the SO change the world with all the rest of my friends who got duped and exploited for cheap labor, just the idea of being apart of the most ethical organization in the world tickled my fancy. Unfortunately upon entry of the epf this idea about the ethics level of the SO exposed itself very early when me and my fellow comm-runnning epfs were sorting telexs, krs, chits and all that fun stuff where i ran across a knowledge report of someone i know to be very ethical had sexually involved themselves with a recruitee while being married. I told myself that everyone has a case and a bank so it was justified.

Just days after completing the epf i got posted as a glorified gopher in div 4 and then observed a high ranking official screaming at a woman who was also an exec but the mans junior. lady was about 65 and sweet as can be. he called her stupid fucking c**t and that should be comm eved and rpfed. This to me was a bit troubling, definitely more troubling than the last incident but i had to inquire. So decided to ask a girl who finished the epf with me but was re routed off of it from the cmo epf. She explained to me how it was something that i couldn't understand because they were OT and higher toned than we were as pre-clear. While it appeared to be that they were operating sub 2.0 really they were up at 40.

Just a side note, this is very common practice in scientology that I wasn't aware of at the time but they love handling bad pr with more scientology tech that doesnt fully address the issue but they use it as a way to manipulation though by creating realizations from tech associated with the issue at hand. there is always a policy or hcob somewhere that can justify even the most harmful of acts on another by a staff or sea org member.

Time after time over the course of very few months I witnessed encounters like this, only to get worse when it got closer and closer to the top. I began to absolutely hate my life. On a day in and day out basis I thought about all my wog friends playing sports, hanging out girls, partying, going to normal classes and doing fun teenage shit.

Everything only got worse when I had a family member sneak me a cell phone that I could use. Everyday I became more depressed and angry. The feeling of being betrayed by people whom I previously regarded as my personal heroes that were saving the world for all of mankind. My image of them was warped and I had finally seen the underbelly of the church of Scientology though I could not fully accept it as true.

Guilt weighed on me. I was still brainwashed. I had the idea that the feelings I had towards the church as an SO member were out ethics and I was letting down my family, my friends in the SO, my senior and on down the dynamics.

It came to a head on a very specific day where i was supposed to see one of my family member who I had not seen in a long time and had everything approved through the right terminal but was stopped by high ranking executives because of the cleanliness of a light fixture in my room. Which mind you the stain was circa 1985 and about the size of a quarter. Upon trying every possible cleaning solution and countless effort from many different people the stain was still not removed and i was not "allowed" to leave.

But I left and saw my family, all somehow under the radar without any sort of recourse. But so began my exit strategy. Now this is where it is going to be real hard to me to tell the full details. If you really want to know more maybe you can personally message me and we can talk for a bit and if I feel comfortable I elaborate a bit more.

MY EXIT: It happened very quickly, one second I was calling the person I trusted the most out of any human the next i was looking over my shoulder watching all of the security guards feeling like a criminal and they picked up on it. I was chased and captured. I was held in a locked room inside of the security area. When I finally saw familiar faces I felt comfort but realized i shouldn't.

I felt as if the yelling would never stop. The threats of being declared resonated with me and I looked inward to questioned my motives in everything. I was just a kid.

In order to leave I just had to do the sec check. I had no problem telling them everything I did, it had happened so many times before. What I didn't know was going to happen was when my auditor began evaluating me and telling me how terrible I was and the things I had done on all of our session breaks.

It was long and arduous. I was beaten, battered and abused but I gotta tell you when I finally walked out those doors I was free and happy for the first time in a while.

Reintegration into our society is a process experience still to this day. It is a constant thing to try change the way my mind thinks about life and the causative factors of all of life's phenomena. I wanted to share not to bash on the church because I have come to peace with their existence and what happened. There really just has never been anyone who I thought would understand.

thanks for listening,

anon


Phew anon ... you have experienced some harrowing times. Most of us here will understand, many of us have also been through similar abuse while caught up in the cofs. Your attitude is admirable (re coming to peace with it) even so, if you feel like having the odd rant (stuff may come up for you while you are here) go for it, because you can.


:yes:
 

Dean Blair

Silver Meritorious Patron
I truly understand what you went through. You look things over and think that its all crazy and then the staff make you feel guilty. The dedicated staff making you feel guilty are the guilty ones. Glad your out and recovering.
 

anon

New Member
I truly understand what you went through. You look things over and think that its all crazy and then the staff make you feel guilty. The dedicated staff making you feel guilty are the guilty ones. Glad your out and recovering.

I appreciate that very much. It is nice to be able to say it in the exact way it appears to me and have others understand truly what I am meaning.
 
Top