did you want to be god?

[Voltaire's Child]

hey guys i was wondering what was your goal when you join scientology,

what do you want out of it?

did you want to be an operative thetan and have powers? or that just was fed into you when you joined?, like when you read dianetics, thats what you start to belive, that you will have perfect memory, raise your IQ etc

well i know its not that way, and most people when they join they dont even know about it

but its like a good therapy i guess, like remember what you first want?
did you get it? if not, did you still want that?
what are you doing in order to get it?
can it be get? if yes, how?
do you feel that you join another person goal, while abandonig yours?

Scn posits the idea that beings were once at native state which would have been "godlike". And it's also about regaining that. I knew about it pretty early. Native State and OT and other things are discussed very early on so, no, I'm not really down with the idea that it's something that gets disclosed later on and that is somehow hidden at first. Most people do Scn intro courses. Some may come in off the Book One auditing route as most orgs and missions do have Book One workshops, but they soon start on Scn courses if they stick around.

If people don't want to strive for native state or OT, then they should not be in CofS and they shouldn't tell people how great those ideas are and how they'd like to achieve them. In MOST respects, I'm very sympathetic toward people who were pushed, shoved, euchred, and ramrodded in CofS, as public or staff. (I've been both). I remember being given stats that weren't mine and slammed for not achieving them, I remember being lied to and treated very badly, and I remember having some other goals that are NOT prerequisites for being a Scn'ist shoved down my throat. But the native state thing? No. That's a very integral part of Scn the philosophy and it's disclosed early on.

 

[Carmel]

I didn't want to be God, but I wanted gods around me.

I didn't want to be God, but I did want to be good (I figured the discipline of scn would be good for me at the time).

I heard a concept of what an auditor did, and I really wanted to do that.

I always wanted to feel that I 'belonged'.

I wanted the hunk of a guy who I met briefly on the stairs when I first walked in there.

Within about a year, I had everything and more than I ever wanted or expected from scn (including getting the guy ). Within about another year or so though, my needs, wants and goals changed - from there it was pretty well disappointment after disappointment.

 

[FoTi]

First thing I ever read was the Advance Mag, so I wanted to regain my OT abilities.

After I started getting auditing then I wanted to be an auditor and do just that for the rest of my life.

I got a little of both but never got what I really wanted or what I thought I was going to get.

 

[Tiger Lily]

At first, I just wanted to learn Dianetics so I could help my sister and some friends with some problems they were having, and to become a better person myself. And I liked the idea that in the meantime I was working toward a "civilization without war, where honest beings can have rights". . . . It was really appealing to me to think that I might be able to help the misery that I see in the world.

That was most of it, and that was all at the beginning, but once I was "on-lines" they fed my ego until it became a monster. That's how I lost my judgment. I started wanting to be the able being they said I was; I wanted people to admire me because I was so intelligent that I could see the truth through the "veneer" of the MEST universe. I wanted to play with the "big thetans". I wouldn't say that I wanted to be God; because I don't think that I did, but I really wanted to be viewed as wise and able. And of course I started believing that I was better than the masses. . . . and I took great pride in thinking that I was one of the "most valuable beings on the planet".

Oh I'm so embarassed now that I did that!

-TL

 

[EP - Ethics Particle]

With characteristic modesty, TL...

At first, I just wanted to learn Dianetics so I could help....

...snip

. . . . and I took great pride in thinking that I was one of the "most valuable beings on the planet".

Oh I'm so embarassed now that I did that!

-TL

I'm somewhat embarassed myself - 'cause our stories are very similar.

But I will say this - I believe that many on this board, by virtue of their experiences, insights and willingness to do things, are, among the most valuable. Seriously. You included.

EP

 

[Tiger Lily]

I'm somewhat embarassed myself - 'cause our stories are very similar.

But I will say this - I believe that many on this board, by virtue of their experiences, insights and willingness to do things, are, among the most valuable. Seriously. You included.

EP

Hey EP, yes I think I agree . The people here have been, as I've said before, "through the fire refined". Experience is a great teacher, and I've seen a lot of wisdom here.

Yea, I'd like to think that someday I can be involved in something that truly will be helpful. As of right now, I've kind of enjoyed taking a break and focusing on my family, but I'm even falling off there a litte these days . . . (heck I can't even get the laundry done anymore because I'm having too much fun here on ESMB!)
:laundry:

Thanks for the encouragement - -I'm finding it to be part of the road to recovery, rebuilding that sense of "value". Hopefully once that's done it will be a true sense of my own worth and not an "ego" one!

-TL

 

[at3ist]

hey people ive been reading your stories and i found it that most people enter becouse they see a chance to be better, you know, be more able and stuff, like when reading a ron jr interview, he said "give me a profesor or someone wanting to develop a skill and i will eat him for breakfast" (something like that) you know, the penthhouse interview,

thats whats make me think, you know, like they have bad intentions since they start, and thats fuck up

 

[JustanotherEX]

thats whats make me think, you know, like they have bad intentions since they start, and thats fuck up

I was almost literally dragged in thru physical force by a friend who had been a Scientologist for many years. At that time the party line seemed to center around the more idealistic stuff. Saving the world, miraculous healing of psychosomatic ills (this was represented as being nearly all of them), etc. "Ruins" weren't being pushed so much, or perhaps that message didn't resonate with me?

That was a pretty positive and idealistic bunch where I was.... I miss 'em too!

But everyone was different at3ist. I saw that some few were focused on OT powers, but it seemed to be the exception in that particular group. Your idea may be a little too general.

Oh, incidentally, it was the idealism that was most appealing. That and a simple answer to the mysteries of life. I didn't want to be God, but I did want to see Scientology become very widespread. Well, once I saw "proof".

Yeah, I miss some of those folks.

 

[GreyLensman]

hey guys i was wondering what was your goal when you join scientology,

what do you want out of it?

did you want to be an operative thetan and have powers? or that just was fed into you when you joined?, like when you read dianetics, thats what you start to belive, that you will have perfect memory, raise your IQ etc

well i know its not that way, and most people when they join they dont even know about it

but its like a good therapy i guess, like remember what you first want?
did you get it? if not, did you still want that?
what are you doing in order to get it?
can it be get? if yes, how?
do you feel that you join another person goal, while abandonig yours?

God. Just a great gig. I think that would be great. To be God. Thou art God.

 

[Zinjifar]

God. Just a great gig. I think that would be great. To be God. Thou art God.

It's overrated.

Grok you

Zinj

 

[Rmack]

I had what seemed to be 'out of body' episodes along with a couple of seeming paranormal experiences, and the cult firmly positioned itself to have the only workable tech in the area. I liked the scientific facade.

Turns out if they ever did have any exterior exercises they have been omitted from the bridge, and the subject was very un-scientific in the way much of it was developed, particularly the upper bridge were 'OT phenomenon' was suppose to be addressed.

After doing the 'comm course' for $50 bucks, and finding out the next level was a couple g's just to start, which I didn't have and didn't have any relatives that did either, (they tried) I split.

I experimented with techniques I read about in Carlos Castaneda books to induce 'lucid dreaming' and was shocked that they actually worked just like the books said! The last thing I expected!

Scared me. Went back to the cult because I still believed they had tech scientific tech on this stuff, I just couldn't afford it. So, work on staff. Join the SO and get the bridge free.

Big mistake.

 

[Hatshepsut]

Listen to the Force within you

I had what seemed to be 'out of body' episodes along with a couple of seeming paranormal experiences, and the cult firmly positioned itself to have the only workable tech in the area. I liked the scientific facade.

Turns out if they ever did have any exterior exercises they have been omitted from the bridge, and the subject was very un-scientific in the way much of it was developed, particularly the upper bridge were 'OT phenomenon' was suppose to be addressed.

After doing the 'comm course' for $50 bucks, and finding out the next level was a couple g's just to start, which I didn't have and didn't have any relatives that did either, (they tried) I split.

I experimented with techniques I read about in Carlos Castaneda books to induce 'lucid dreaming' and was shocked that they actually worked just like the books said! The last think I expected!

Scared me. Went back to the cult because I still believed they had tech scientific tech on this stuff, I just couldn't afford it. So, work on staff. Join the SO and get the bridge free.

Big mistake.

I too believed that a secret powerful tech was inside the church. And when the Religious "Technology" Center came forth as a STRONG identity and chose to portray itself that way...I thought how appropriate.
I'd felt that the secret knowledge of what lies behind the veil had always been kept for and by the few.
That we were on a crusade to clear the planet in the guise of altruism was incongruent in juxtaposition to what we were doing with the pricing!
For me though, living in Orlando, just up the road from Clearwater, I took plenty of opportunities to go down and hang around the HGC where the L's were delivered. PCs talk. I'd go and hang out at the Lemon Tree restaurant or the Hour Glass (both at Flag) and listen to the wealthy Dutch entrepreneures assembling around what had become their usual round table. I'd listen to their opinions, arrogances and cogs about the business world. I'd take the beach trip down to the Sand Castle hotel which was now the NOTs unit and be a vagrant in the halls and the balcony restaurant. I knew these people had something I wanted. I was investigating Scientology for myself like an undercover journalist.

Why were some these things kept out of reach of the common person. Same reason as always I presume.

 

[Zinjifar]

There's nothing *secret* about what the 'Church' of Scientology has to offer. What was 'secret' was that they didn't offer anything more than what you could pick up by any of a thousand 'paths'.

Yes, the 'discipline' infused was a useful bit of 'the path', but, the deliberate misdirections down Ron's own primrose paths of slavery were not a help.

By the way; buddhist monks don't reach 'enlightenment' to any greater statistic than the schlub on the street, but, they *do* know where it is. Many very frustrated buddhist monks

Zinj

 

[Hatshepsut]

By the way; buddhist monks don't reach 'enlightenment' to any greater statistic than the schlub on the street, but, they *do* know where it is. Many very frustrated buddhist monks

Zinj[/QUOTE]

They are both geniuses at being the schlub on the street.

 

[Zinjifar]

Once you're happy being a schlub on the street, you're halfway there

Zinj

 

[Hatshepsut]

Agreed

Yep, unfortunately that's about become my motto. Or maybe I've just become goal-less.

 

[michaelangelo]

I wanted to know what made people tick. To improve my abilities and help others to do the same.

 

[Zinjifar]

Yep, unfortunately that's about become my motto. Or maybe I've just become goal-less.

That's 3/4 of the way 'there'

Zinj

 

[Voltaire's Child]

There's nothing *secret* about what the 'Church' of Scientology has to offer. What was 'secret' was that they didn't offer anything more than what you could pick up by any of a thousand 'paths'.

Yes, the 'discipline' infused was a useful bit of 'the path', but, the deliberate misdirections down Ron's own primrose paths of slavery were not a help.

By the way; buddhist monks don't reach 'enlightenment' to any greater statistic than the schlub on the street, but, they *do* know where it is. Many very frustrated buddhist monks

Zinj

Most of Scn is not "Confidential" and therefore is not secret, though the cult surely has a nasty habit of withholding upper levels from people they're mad at or who have relationships or other things they feel are "Security risks".

 

[uniquemand]

Most Scientologists do some auditing and read some books, but don't get through the grades or OT Levels. There is a cadre of those who do get through, but obviously, in the Church, it's about the money, and it isn't handed to you (though you are handcuffed to it).