Roman • 9 hours ago
Pretty poignant overview of some huge issues besetting cult members, both current and former. I grew up in it and left when I was 22 - getting myself declared. I'm 25 now and still spot the ridiculous neuroses laid in by my experiences with the Church.
The biggest issue I'm getting over - and I have other friends who feel the same - is that my parents inundated and surrounded me with NOTHING but Scientology from day one as a child. Everyone from my chiropractor to my dentist to my teacher, all my school mates and my parents' friends were Scientologists. So by the time I became of age and able to leave the Church, it was at the cost of losing my ENTIRE childhood essentially. In my opinion, it was one of the cruelest ploys to force on a child.
I believe it takes a long time to recover because The Church's investigation arms - OSA and HCO are fucking ruthless when it comes to stalking, harassing and badmouthing you to a vicious degree. It's very disconcerting and most people, such as myself, are so shaken up already and we don't want to add people harassing us on top of that, so we just kind of disappear in a sense for long enough to make sense of what in the hell happened with our lives.
One of my ongoing projects is to identify the core values that scientology instills in the young that so drastically affect their future lives. The list is long, very long, but I would like to concentrate on a few of the big ones and have a reference thread or something that discusses them. I'm not sure when I will get around to this and if anyone is interested in helping with a list we could work on, pm me.
I was 15 when I was sent off to the E.P.F. it really does scare you because your so young and being around a bunch of adults that don't give a care that your still a kid. My recruiter was nice until he got tired of showing me around the LA Pac Org. My family ditched me basically and since I have been out I have no family to turn to. I will admit that after 13 years I kind still get that feeling of being institutionalized. Also, I gotta thank god that I don't have to be there anymore.
That's fucked up, but YAY for being out, It's gonibng to be hell for the last people in as it wasn't allready. Well maybe you can connect sometimeup with some fine SP's in that neighbourhood like Tory Christman and a few others.
Redriver ? Do you have Native American Blood ?
Hi again Nicole.
I was not born in BUT I have something slightly similar to you as maybe some others do too.
Before getting into Scientology I was not doing that well, had some debt, dropped out of college and was wandering aimlessly and getting into trouble, drugs, boys etc. and partially joined the militant cult just to get a certain amount of discipline going in my life.
I bring this up only because though it absolutely is not the same thing as being born in, there are some similar challenges. As so many of us, I spent 25 years inside doggedly (though thank god not diligently enough) persisting on an unatainable goal, "getting through the OT levels" so I could be that promised super being who could confront any thing and have the spoils and riches of that superior being I was to become (while all the while not doing any of the things my peers in the "wog world" were doing to actually get there).
So, now my husband and I have a lot of catching up and learning to do. We really have few friends yet, outside of the ex-community (which is mostly online). Again, it is not the same as your situation but I have had to really adjust my thinking.
Here's what I see in you. I see a very kind person -- a compassionate person. I see an intelligent woman with lots of great qualities. I'm not a counselor but I think that in addition to finding out these things that you are learning about people being born into cults, do also sit back and realize the beauty and the goodness of you, all on your own, because regardless of the circumstances, you are a good person. Build on that and know that though you may have a hard time making friends, a lot of people have that same problem. Everyone wants to be loved. Almost everyone is afraid of rejection and of being vulnerable.
If you can realize that about others and be as loving as you can be, you'll eventually have more friends than you know what to do with. That's my plan. None of us came into this world with a manual. Most people have a lot of uncertainties regardless of their "stable" upbringing. Sure, lots of people have been brought up with good guidance but lots have not -- cult or no cult. You are not alone. This may or may not be helpful. I think I'll read it It's an article about facing and embracing uncertainty. Let's see if we like it If not, there's a whole Internet of shit out there.
Thanks Sindy and Free to Shine...
I believe before I can get in a good contact with others, I have to learn who I am... It is like I have to learn, which music I like and not what I believe what other people would like which music I like... and than I just have to be me...
Sindy, you have written, that you think, I am a good person, I hope I am... But as I was a Scientologist I was also an "evil" person too, I was able to destroy peoples life... It was the reason I left, because I haven't liked this, but this is part of me too... I have to live with this, but I feel ashamed...
One of my favourites books, about how to live a good life... I am not sure if that is "common" in English speaking countries...
"In present time", she lived really in another world, but imo this is not a normal Scientology childhood, this is very strange. I hope her wounds could heal. This is so sad and it makes me very angry, that no adult, if Scientologist or not, helped this girl.
Beautifully said Sindy
It has been so nice getting to know you somewhat through your posts.
Wow. That was nice Sindy.
Just the fact that you feel bad about "evil things " you may have done shows you have a conscience. That says good things for your character. So I guess it reinforces what Sindy said about you.
Great thread topic too.
Awe! I just saw this now -- 4 months later.
Is there a way I can get notifications on people commenting on a post I made?
Hey, how's our Nicole doing as of today? Any new insights to share?