Thanks for the reply. Some places you have referred to "you guys", I'm assuming you mean the anons, I can't answer for anyone else, but below is what I feel.
TMT, apologies for derailing your thread and talking as if you are out of the room. I will answer this and shut up, promise.
You cannot take responsibility for anyone else's life, however well meaning it is to worry about him. If it is TMT's choice to stay up for 3 days, that is his choice and responsibility.
I don't dispute that he may be a brilliant auditor but he seriously misread the board, or failed to lurk moar, and failed to pitch it correctly. TMT has acknowledged this and moved on, and is posting his chronicles to the delight of the people who benefit from it.
Yes, I have read what he has written, and because he has come back and answered and continued on, despite the aggro, my respect for him has grown. It doesn't mean I agree with his posts or wish to follow him on his journey, but there are people who will get something out of it. He must also understand that there will be people on the board who will never appreciate his viewpoint and will always question him on it. Is this such a bad thing? I don't mean bashing, but if he believes his words are important, then surely they are important enough to defend.
I got it. Really, I did.
However, in the first post he came across as a snake oil salesman. Now, after reading more posts, I understand more where he is coming from, but we are only known by the posts we make. We can't rely on other people knowing a poster as an honourable person to give credence to them. But I also wonder if after reading more of ESMB, TMT has also learnt about the community. There is an arrogance in presuming to have the answers for anyone else, and in presuming to have a more joyful existence than others. Some people are absolutely blissful in their miserable whingeings.
My visceral reaction to his words was "How dare you disrespect the exes by posting this" and got all mama bear on his ass. Perhaps he could have discussed auditing with the board in a way that wouldn't upset the board's feelings? Its a two way thing here.
Yep, it pressed my button. I've been hanging around here too long and I feel a bit over protective over people who really don't need it, expect it or want it.
I felt exactly the same way when Marty brought his arrogance here and, in my opinion, disrespected Emma, her board and the exes on the board. Its probably the same button as the bashing posts pushed on you.
I was the caregiver to my parents in law, both of whom died in their 90's. I am very well aware of the weaknesses and capabilities of the elderly. I am a strong advocate of self determinism until the time a person asks for help or it becomes apparent that the person can no longer make rational decisions. My mum in law raised her babies in a basement in London during WW2, alone while her husband was conscripted. While she was extremely physically frail towards the end, there was nothing wrong with her spirit or mind and it used to annoy the hell out of me when a waiter or salesperson would look to me for confirmation of what she said to them. I knew her strength and history and it would deeply offend me that they would disrespect her like that. Its not ok to take away someone's self determination.
I am sorry he got such a hostile response, but he has responded to it and understood where it came from, and the board has been given an opportunity to see who he really is and react as they wish to fuller information.
But just because you, or anyone else vouches for his integrity, doesn't mean I am going to cut slack or ignore what I have perceived to be disrespect. I make my own judgements.
I remember Gottabrain, just because I don't post much, does not mean I am not around watching (god I am a stalker!). I felt for you as much as I feel for TMT as I saw you struggling to find your feet. I am glad to see you back btw.
Because we are only known by the words on our posts and how they are interpreted by the reader. Unless someone writes their biography on the first post, that post is ageless and genderless, readers can only take an educated guess at the pain, humour or enthusiasm behind the words.
No, I do not know, I haven't walked in your shoes. I try to be empathetic and often when I read something foreign to my experience I try and equate it to something similar in my life so I can gain some measure of understanding. But I will never quite get it 100%.
I appreciate this, one of the best things on this board for me is when exes express their joy when finding old friends, or reconnecting or when I see someone blossom in their posts.
TMT showed courage of his convictions and stayed and responded. I feel you underestimate him.
He came onto the board with a highly contentious (to some members of the board) post with flags flying and trumpets blaring. It wasn't a quiet little post with a bit of background and asking for companionship. I, personally, have never seen these types of posts getting bashed.
Again, we only know each other through the posts. If the post is contentious in some way, the poster needs to take responsibility for it. We don't know what is going on in the poster's life unless it is expressed. But do you really believe that a poster is excused for his words because he is having a difficult life?
This is a supportive community of people from diverse cultures with different beliefs and opinions. I'd guess if you started a thread asking for a hug, you would be inundated with them both from people who agree with you and those who don't. Not everyone needs it to be a hug box, maybe they need a vent box or an escape box or a community box.
I am not offended in the slightest. Of course bashing isn't helpful, but if anyone makes the decision to post something controversial onto a message board, they should be prepared to be called on it.