DO IT FOR RON! (wait, never mind, you don't have to)


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Ron never gave me a birthday present, so why was it that I was supposed to give a damn about giving Ron what he wanted for Ron's Birthday Game?

Ron wants this! Ron wants that! There's a Ron Policy, a Ron Bulletin, a Ron Flag Order, a Ron Advice bossing you around from the moment you awaken until you are fast asleep. Everywhere you look there is something Ron is ordering you to do or ordering you not to do.

Here a Ron, there a Ron, everywhere a Ron Ron.

Old McHubbard had a funnyfarm. A to E I go!

But seriously, what the hell was that all about?

I find it (now) quite completely insane to look back at what Ron told me I must do or what was expected of me.

Example. A few minutes ago I received an email from an Org with a call to all Scientologists, reminding me that Ron expects me to "DECONTAMINATE THIS AREA OF THE UNIVERSE."


Wait, did I read that right?!!!

Yup, he even repeats it to make sure I know he wasn't kidding. "...TO CLEAN UP THIS SECTOR OF THE UNVERSE."

I live in a house on the planet earth. When I want a cheeseburger, I have to get in an earth automobile and drive to an earth restaurant and sit down in an earth chair and speak my order to an earth waitress who walks back into an earth kitchen and tells an earth cook who puts my earth burger on an earth stove and cooks it. It pretty much goes like that all day long on earth. It was like on the day I was born. And it will be like that on the day that I die. I will be on the earth.

Ron, you're a way cool super-galactic guru and everything, but how the fuck am I supposed to clean up this sector of the universe? Last time I looked, my intergalactic space ship was still in the shop for repairs from the last time I journeyed out in space to salvage a few solar systems. Maybe you should just keep your manipulative, delusional ideas to yourself from now on Ron. And tell those wacked out trekkies who work for you to stop sending me crazy emails ordering me to decontaminate this sector of the universe.

Ron, just stop telling me what the hell to do and I won't tell you what I want you to do--which is FOAD.

Wait, actually I think you may have already complied with my Command Intention.

------------ RON'S COMMAND INTENTION BELOW (read it, drill it, fuck it!) ---------

I expect and need your help to carry out the broad mission of decontaminating this area of the universe. If you wish to help, your first duty is to protect the repute of the state of Clear by exemplary conduct. Your second duty is to attain OT as soon as possible. Your third, if you still wish to help, is to become part of the endeavor to clean up this sector of the universe and make it safe not only for ourselves but the billions of others who have been harmed...

Thank you for what you have done so far.

Thank you for what you will do in the future.

I know I can count on you."

L. Ron Hubbard
HCO PL 17 Jan 1967
An Open letter to all clears
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Why was Ron's COMMAND INTENTION supposed to be senior to my own COMMAND INTENTION?

That is slavery not freedom.

I know that Scientologists will do virtually ANYTHING that is COMMAND INTENTION.

Where does this shit come from?

Is there something in human nature that hungers for such authoritative domination?

Can I go back in time for just one com cycle, pleeeeeaaassse?

SEA ORG MISSIONAIRE: You will do it because it is Command Intention!!!

HELLUVASEAORGMEMBER: No, I don't want to do it.

SEA ORG MISSIONAIRE: You what?!!! What did you just say?!!

HELLUVASEAORGMEMBER: You heard me, bitch. I said I am not doing it!

SEA ORG MISSIONAIRE: You call me sir! And you are assigned Treason and are to immediately report to the RPF! Any more out of you and you are Declared and ordered to leave the Org premises right this second!!!

HELLUVASEAORGMEMBER: I take your threat very seriously, sir. I surely don't want to do anything to have my eternity jeopardized by a total fucking moronic asshole like you, sir!


Patron Meritorious
Example. A few minutes ago I received an email from an Org with a call to all Scientologists, reminding me that Ron expects me to "DECONTAMINATE THIS AREA OF THE UNIVERSE."

Sounds like I need to read the e-mails I receive from the Orgs instead of just sending them to the SPAM folder on my desktop. :D

Reading this would have given me a good laugh!!!!!



Patron with Honors
Ron wants?

In one of the calls we received from the org, the person told my significant other that Ron wanted us to come in for services (after 30 some years of inactivity). That started a lovely rant from my SO that went something like - How could you know what Ron wants? Have you ever even met Ron? I have! Are you trying to invalidate my wins by telling me they were not good enough and I need more?

Then the discussion turned to the "justice" system in scn being abused for personal gain by those with the most powerful friends and the actions of the CofS were causing memebers to turn away.....

How many times (and from how many people) do these people hear this before they look around and then leave?


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The virus of Scientology screws with your operating system.


AGE 16: I want to be a Rock-n-Roll musician.

AGE 17: (Unprotected Sects with Scientology - contracts Virus)

AGE 18: Ron says going Clear will remove all the barriers to not only becoming a Rock-n-Roll musician but becoming a Rock-n-Roll star with tons of money to do my Bridge.

AGE 19: Ron warned me that a Clear is at grave risk until they get thru OT III. Once I get thru the Wall of Fire I can safely and ethically become a Rock & Roll star.

AGE 20: Ron says if we don't Clear the planet right now there isn't going to be any Rock-n-Roll because we will destroy ourselves. I joined the Sea Org to make this planet safe for Rock-n-Roll.

AGE 21: Ron wants me to break into government buildings and fight the SP's that are making this planet hell for free beings like Rock-n-Rollers.

AGE 22: Ron wants me to take responsibility for getting caught by the db FBI and go to prison so there is no devT on his lines while he writes and records a Rock & Roll album.

AGE 27: Ron says now that I am out of the federal penitentiary and I am public, I need to pay $350,000 to secure my Bridge and I can rehab my purpose to become a Rock & Roll star.

AGE 30. Ron says that without training for 3 years to become an interned Class VI auditor, I will never make it to full OT and will fail to become a Rock & Roll star.

AGE 35. Ron want me as an OT Committee Member to order many copies of his new Rock-N-Roll album to help planetary Clearing become a reality which will keep my exchange in for him helping me become a Rock & Roll star.

AGE 40. Ron warned me that wanting to leave Scientology after hearing his Rock album, "The Road To Freedom", means I am an SP and I will be destroyed by Fair Game so that I can never become a Rock & Roll star.

AGE WHATEVER EX SCN: (Run antivirus & reboot operating system to original factory default settings): I want to be a Rock & Roll musician.


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Ron orders unreal targets...

Ron insisted his goal ("to Clear the planet") was my goal.

So I tried it on for size.

It didn't fit.

Actually, for me, one of the most significant events in escaping from Scientology was the realization that:


A medley of other epiphanies tumbled out in the wake of that one. The closely related "I AM NOT A UNIVERSE SALVAGER" also gave me profound relief. It was literally a life-changing event when I realized that I could return to being a human being that did not need to bother with crazed intergalactic conspiracy theories that I had to dedicate my next billion years to resolving. Instead of worrying about betraying all beings in universe by not having a higher stat than the previous week, I could relax at Starbucks and enjoy browsing thru the "merchant of chaos" sponsored daily newspaper. What a simple joy to do nothing and not have angry Sea Org clipboard wielding missionaires glaring at me for producing nothing while they produced less than nothing.

If ever there was a merchant of chaos to disturb people, it is Ron Hubbard and Scientology.

It is a cruel trick to convince someone that their "goal" is some impossibly absurd task. They can never achieve it but, instead, develop inordinate amounts of anxiety, stress and even guilt at failing reach the unreachable star.

At one time Ron gave Scientologists and especially Sea Org members the goal of clearing the planet in 5 years.

Did I mention yet that Ron was a wickedly delusional not-best-friend-to-mankind?