Caseonpost
New Member
Hello ESMs,
I'm glad to have finally gained the courage to register here and explore. I found this site while I was still "in" the church, during one of my secret quests to rid my curiosity of what the hell this "black PR" on the internet was all about that the church and church members warned against. But even back then, when I had some doubts and the audacity to dare look at anti-scientology stuff online, I felt overbound with anxiety and paranoia. I never registered onto an ex-member website or read too much into it, because of the programmed fear many scientologists acquire regarding Black PR; ethics cycle, PTSness, sickness or death stumbling across OT material, or a that declare order could ensue! Even if I browsed on private, I knew the next time I get on the cans, my needle will never float with this shit on my mind! This overt will have to come out in my sessions! So like a good robotic CoS minion, I had to convince myself to knock it off and disregard all the very compelling black PR I read/saw online, reminding myself that surely these are SPs writing this shit that was too upsetting to be true! Duh, SPs are good at fucking with your mind, wanting to ruin scientology and in turn ruin my bridge to total freedom! I told myself COB would never abuse staff.... no no no, cause remember, the antisocial people are the hardest ones to spot, very charming and seemingly legit. I felt miswitholdy, because I thought I was being 1.1 by looking at "SPs" on the internet who are attacking and spreading lies against the greatest group on the planet! I've got to get clean and write up my OWs or something, fuck!
I grew up in Scientology. I knew nothing other than Scientology. Pretty much everyone I knew and associated with; went to school with, hung out with, worked with, were all Scientologists. I remember referring to someone that wasn't a Scientologist as a "wog". That word "wog", always was said behind this sort of view as a person of potential threat to my "dynamics". I remember as a kid, if I met a friend or got a boyfriend, my parents or scientologist friend would ask "Are they onlines?.... Oh, they're a wog?" I always viewed it as non-Scientologists (wogs), unfortunately just don't know true source data yet, and therefore lacking Scientology tech could cause enturbulation or you to become PTS to them and veer you from remaining active and on-lines with the church. I am cracking up now thinking about this now. It's good that I can laugh about some of the shit, I mean WOG? Like Harry Potter and the world of wizards and the MUGGLES were the mere humanoids. Aw. Anyway, I never had the opportunity or chance really to believe anything other than Scientology. I often wonder how I would've turned out if I were raised outside the church, maybe as a christian or something and later in my normal wog life if I were to have been recruited for a stress test or to do an intro course in Scientology, would I have ever bought into it? I still don't see how easy some people get involved in the first place if you weren't raised in.
I was about 18 when I first started to doubt Scientology. I mean for me that was a big deal, but maybe all teenagers no matter what level of the bridge you're at go through a period of rebelling. Anyway, I remember having these long far out "comm-cycles" (ew, Im going to stop using scientology terms, haha, they're just popping into my head as I'm recalling those days)... OK so I'd have these "theta" (couldn't help it) conversations with other scientologist teenager friends and we'd talk about the planet and our salvation and OT abilities and how were artists and building universes one day. We'd talk about going exterior and all kinds of inherited and probably unintentionally squirreled Scientology ideas. I even remember one time trying to apply "tone 40" with "intention" to fucking make a broken stereo work with a friend. We were laughing, but seriously we also thought it was possible, I mean we're all OTs even if we haven't gotten there yet. So many ridiculous silly things you believe when you're in!!! Im rambling, I know this is just the into board... So ill just cut to the chase:
My parents were declared suppressive a of couple years ago, for talking to some declared SPs, and refusing to stop talking to them. So they got the boot. PRAISE THE LORD, I could finally speak to them about ANYTHING I wanted to without having to beat around the bush about Scientology! I mean I'm a grown adult now, nearly 30, have a family of my own and have been out of the church for years and live no where near crowded Scientology filled cities which I had spend majority of my life (Los Angeles area, Clearwater, etc). I've worked for Scientology companies, went to Applied Scholastics schools, worked for CCHR, The Way to Happiness, And joined the Sea Org, but only finished through the EPF and never officially got assigned a post in the Sea Org, but that story is wonky and Ill go into some other time. It took me 3 months to "route out", the right way, otherwise If I left voluntarily when I wanted to, It'd be consider a BLOW and I'd get declared a SP if I didn't return to route out the right way.... I signed a few billion year contracts (but never routed in the sea org, just wanted the recruiters to go away) before age 13 too. Anyway, this is getting long. IM OUT, MY PARENTS ARE OUT, still have some friends and family in and deep IN, like gung ho in, and I really feel deep empathy and have to urge to deprogram them.... but don't know how. The scientologist mind is a loop, and everything debatable you throw at them even if it makes perfect sense is justified in a loop of scientology justifications. They are close minded and are at the point of anything against the church is entheta, lies, suppressive, misinformed, blah blah blah. Im trying to find a way to go about helping them see the truth and wake up... I hope they will have the curiosity to sinfully watch Gibney's doc... but after the FreedomMag and the church's response knowing that is what they're seeing and believing, my heart sank, how do you de-program a Scientologist without them writing you off or even worse flipping it to where they're trying to salvage me as an infected PTS to SP data on the internet - person. Advice????
I'm glad to have finally gained the courage to register here and explore. I found this site while I was still "in" the church, during one of my secret quests to rid my curiosity of what the hell this "black PR" on the internet was all about that the church and church members warned against. But even back then, when I had some doubts and the audacity to dare look at anti-scientology stuff online, I felt overbound with anxiety and paranoia. I never registered onto an ex-member website or read too much into it, because of the programmed fear many scientologists acquire regarding Black PR; ethics cycle, PTSness, sickness or death stumbling across OT material, or a that declare order could ensue! Even if I browsed on private, I knew the next time I get on the cans, my needle will never float with this shit on my mind! This overt will have to come out in my sessions! So like a good robotic CoS minion, I had to convince myself to knock it off and disregard all the very compelling black PR I read/saw online, reminding myself that surely these are SPs writing this shit that was too upsetting to be true! Duh, SPs are good at fucking with your mind, wanting to ruin scientology and in turn ruin my bridge to total freedom! I told myself COB would never abuse staff.... no no no, cause remember, the antisocial people are the hardest ones to spot, very charming and seemingly legit. I felt miswitholdy, because I thought I was being 1.1 by looking at "SPs" on the internet who are attacking and spreading lies against the greatest group on the planet! I've got to get clean and write up my OWs or something, fuck!
I grew up in Scientology. I knew nothing other than Scientology. Pretty much everyone I knew and associated with; went to school with, hung out with, worked with, were all Scientologists. I remember referring to someone that wasn't a Scientologist as a "wog". That word "wog", always was said behind this sort of view as a person of potential threat to my "dynamics". I remember as a kid, if I met a friend or got a boyfriend, my parents or scientologist friend would ask "Are they onlines?.... Oh, they're a wog?" I always viewed it as non-Scientologists (wogs), unfortunately just don't know true source data yet, and therefore lacking Scientology tech could cause enturbulation or you to become PTS to them and veer you from remaining active and on-lines with the church. I am cracking up now thinking about this now. It's good that I can laugh about some of the shit, I mean WOG? Like Harry Potter and the world of wizards and the MUGGLES were the mere humanoids. Aw. Anyway, I never had the opportunity or chance really to believe anything other than Scientology. I often wonder how I would've turned out if I were raised outside the church, maybe as a christian or something and later in my normal wog life if I were to have been recruited for a stress test or to do an intro course in Scientology, would I have ever bought into it? I still don't see how easy some people get involved in the first place if you weren't raised in.
I was about 18 when I first started to doubt Scientology. I mean for me that was a big deal, but maybe all teenagers no matter what level of the bridge you're at go through a period of rebelling. Anyway, I remember having these long far out "comm-cycles" (ew, Im going to stop using scientology terms, haha, they're just popping into my head as I'm recalling those days)... OK so I'd have these "theta" (couldn't help it) conversations with other scientologist teenager friends and we'd talk about the planet and our salvation and OT abilities and how were artists and building universes one day. We'd talk about going exterior and all kinds of inherited and probably unintentionally squirreled Scientology ideas. I even remember one time trying to apply "tone 40" with "intention" to fucking make a broken stereo work with a friend. We were laughing, but seriously we also thought it was possible, I mean we're all OTs even if we haven't gotten there yet. So many ridiculous silly things you believe when you're in!!! Im rambling, I know this is just the into board... So ill just cut to the chase:
My parents were declared suppressive a of couple years ago, for talking to some declared SPs, and refusing to stop talking to them. So they got the boot. PRAISE THE LORD, I could finally speak to them about ANYTHING I wanted to without having to beat around the bush about Scientology! I mean I'm a grown adult now, nearly 30, have a family of my own and have been out of the church for years and live no where near crowded Scientology filled cities which I had spend majority of my life (Los Angeles area, Clearwater, etc). I've worked for Scientology companies, went to Applied Scholastics schools, worked for CCHR, The Way to Happiness, And joined the Sea Org, but only finished through the EPF and never officially got assigned a post in the Sea Org, but that story is wonky and Ill go into some other time. It took me 3 months to "route out", the right way, otherwise If I left voluntarily when I wanted to, It'd be consider a BLOW and I'd get declared a SP if I didn't return to route out the right way.... I signed a few billion year contracts (but never routed in the sea org, just wanted the recruiters to go away) before age 13 too. Anyway, this is getting long. IM OUT, MY PARENTS ARE OUT, still have some friends and family in and deep IN, like gung ho in, and I really feel deep empathy and have to urge to deprogram them.... but don't know how. The scientologist mind is a loop, and everything debatable you throw at them even if it makes perfect sense is justified in a loop of scientology justifications. They are close minded and are at the point of anything against the church is entheta, lies, suppressive, misinformed, blah blah blah. Im trying to find a way to go about helping them see the truth and wake up... I hope they will have the curiosity to sinfully watch Gibney's doc... but after the FreedomMag and the church's response knowing that is what they're seeing and believing, my heart sank, how do you de-program a Scientologist without them writing you off or even worse flipping it to where they're trying to salvage me as an infected PTS to SP data on the internet - person. Advice????