Boldgirl
Patron Meritorious
This thread is for those who are still in process recovering. This thread is not for those who are doing great and on esmb to help others. This Thread is active therapy, not for commentators. That may sound odd or rude, but it is not meant to be. It is what it is. Please respect that request.
And dare I say, as always, if this thread proves to be not useful or dead, that is OK too ! Lurkers are welcome.
My own goal is to have myself and others that are still working through the cult upsets and feeling a little stuck to be able to go over as many incidents as needed per person in order to feel better and still be anonymous! So the goal of this thread is to feel better by actively doing the exercise Hassan writes about in recovering.
OK, I am still reading through Steven Hassan's book " Releasing the bonds" and this one 'step' really hit me and I thought it was great advice. Here is what Mr Hassan wrote, and then I will start with one example from my experience.
Hassan: "The next step is perhaps the most significant part of the healing process. I suggest the client go back in time to crucial moments in his involvement and "re-do" them, with the new information, resources, and perspectives that he now has. He can say or do what he would do if he knew then what he knows now. During this exercise he should keep in mind that:
1. These negative things happened to a 'younger you'.
2. You did the best you knew how at the time' based on your knowledge and abilities
3. Now, you are older, wiser, and have more resources about mind control and cult practices."
By imagining how he would have acted differently, a person can integrate the new resources into the cult identity. "
OK, the first one that comes to mind for me is when a friend of mine, also a co worker, came to me to warn me about scn. She told me it is a cult and to be careful and that she was worried about me. I had already been indoctrinated enough at that point to act like a typical plexiglass scientologist, being defensive, telling her she had no right to do that and also that lots of religions had been called cults and were not and all the other crap. Anyway, my scn contact convinced me this person was an enemy in my camp and I fired her, never spoke again.
To replay this with what I wished I had said and would say today...is:
"why is it a cult, what have you read? Please Show me because I didnt think I was in a cult! " I trust you enough to listen and read what you found." You are my friend, and I will at least listen and at least check out what you are saying."
That would have lead me to xenu.net and I wouldnt be writing this thread as I would not have gone further into the cult. So in that interaction , my true self would have listened and been curious and not taken it personally, and trusted enough to at least look.
(Other incidents later are much less civil with Scn's I came across...cant wait to replay those with what I really would say now... F--- you, I am not doing that-how could you ask people to do that??!!!"!
And dare I say, as always, if this thread proves to be not useful or dead, that is OK too ! Lurkers are welcome.
My own goal is to have myself and others that are still working through the cult upsets and feeling a little stuck to be able to go over as many incidents as needed per person in order to feel better and still be anonymous! So the goal of this thread is to feel better by actively doing the exercise Hassan writes about in recovering.
OK, I am still reading through Steven Hassan's book " Releasing the bonds" and this one 'step' really hit me and I thought it was great advice. Here is what Mr Hassan wrote, and then I will start with one example from my experience.
Hassan: "The next step is perhaps the most significant part of the healing process. I suggest the client go back in time to crucial moments in his involvement and "re-do" them, with the new information, resources, and perspectives that he now has. He can say or do what he would do if he knew then what he knows now. During this exercise he should keep in mind that:
1. These negative things happened to a 'younger you'.
2. You did the best you knew how at the time' based on your knowledge and abilities
3. Now, you are older, wiser, and have more resources about mind control and cult practices."
By imagining how he would have acted differently, a person can integrate the new resources into the cult identity. "
OK, the first one that comes to mind for me is when a friend of mine, also a co worker, came to me to warn me about scn. She told me it is a cult and to be careful and that she was worried about me. I had already been indoctrinated enough at that point to act like a typical plexiglass scientologist, being defensive, telling her she had no right to do that and also that lots of religions had been called cults and were not and all the other crap. Anyway, my scn contact convinced me this person was an enemy in my camp and I fired her, never spoke again.
To replay this with what I wished I had said and would say today...is:
"why is it a cult, what have you read? Please Show me because I didnt think I was in a cult! " I trust you enough to listen and read what you found." You are my friend, and I will at least listen and at least check out what you are saying."
That would have lead me to xenu.net and I wouldnt be writing this thread as I would not have gone further into the cult. So in that interaction , my true self would have listened and been curious and not taken it personally, and trusted enough to at least look.
(Other incidents later are much less civil with Scn's I came across...cant wait to replay those with what I really would say now... F--- you, I am not doing that-how could you ask people to do that??!!!"!