I don't post here much but I visit and read posts by others quite often.
It's now been three years since I woke up. And about two years since I posted my original story: My Journey To OT3 & Back.
My life post-Scientology continues to be a rich and blossoming affair. I can't get over what an incredible life I have now - despite all the desperate Scientology programming that "you won't do well if you leave". What a joke. LRH is so like that sad old Wizard Of Oz.
The hardest thing for me and what took the longest time to get over, was the loss of friendship with many people that I thought I knew and shared a journey with. The pain of not being able to reach out and break their spell without things descending into a big mess has been really hard, but it's ok now. I can live and let live.
I continue to seek a deeper understanding of what happened to my mind when I was in Scientology by continuing to read everything I can lay my hands on.
I've read many books including these, that I highly recommend; Carl Sagan's 'Demon Haunted World', also 'Take Back Your Life' by Janja Lalich & Madeleine Tobias, 'Mind Programming' by Eldon Taylor and I've re-read Robert Anton Wilson's 'Prometheus Rising' which is a big favorite.
I've also been reading Derren Brown's 'Tricks Of The Mind' (UK TV presenter with shows on deception etc on YouTube). Really fascinating, his insights into the mechanics of hypnosis. I've read a lot on this before but he's a total sceptic. He debunks the mystery and yet he can still get the result. His analysis of stage hypnosis and how he reckons the largest part that makes it work is the peoples belief in the practitioner (the placebo effect) combined with the perceived 'authority' given to them, and, most importantly... social pressure... or the initial desire to not stand out by calling the bluff which then develops into full scale delusion because they can't face they have been duped...
Sound familiar?
I almost fell off my horse.
I'll never forget how after I first read the OT3 data and being in a state of shock with all these other "OT's" coming up to me afterwards wanting to know how I reacted?
They all had that look on their faces of; "You think it's bullshit too, don't you?".
I, of course, stunned into silence by my "confidentiality agreement" could say nothing other than; "Yes, it's pretty wild!", whilst trying to get my head around what had just happened to me.
At this point, when most unconditioned individuals would run screaming from this mad house known as Scientology, I bided my time trying to understand...
Then, of course, next thing you know, you're in session trying this ridiculous stuff out...
And what do you know... bugger-boo's all over the shop...trap complete... almost...
Easier to face a delusion than the unspeakable consequences of facing the truth.
For a while anyway.
I was fortunate enough to get some time on my own after OT3, thousands of miles away from the 'Org'.
Long enough to allow the higher part of myself to speak.
I had dreams and nightmares. I wrote them in a book. Everyday.
I listened to the language of my unconscious mind.
I then realised what had been done to me.
At first I was so relieved to know the truth.
I made my announcement and told the 'Org' I was leaving. Then I left. For good.
But then for almost two years I had the most unspeakable pain in my head as the conflict of deconstruction began.
Here is where I learnt about why they call Scientology evil.
Even though I consciously knew it was all a load of crap, Scientology had succeeded in both stealing and raping my mind on a very deep and unconscious level.
I didn't talk about the pain because I knew that would keep me in it.
I just kept building my new life.
All that is over now.
So, to all my fellow Ex's, Anonymous renegades and general trouble makers:
I salute you all for contributing to the current undoing of Scientology.
Most of all I salute those here who have had the courage to undo themselves. To reinvent. To laugh and let it go.
Have a great 2010.
It's now been three years since I woke up. And about two years since I posted my original story: My Journey To OT3 & Back.
My life post-Scientology continues to be a rich and blossoming affair. I can't get over what an incredible life I have now - despite all the desperate Scientology programming that "you won't do well if you leave". What a joke. LRH is so like that sad old Wizard Of Oz.
The hardest thing for me and what took the longest time to get over, was the loss of friendship with many people that I thought I knew and shared a journey with. The pain of not being able to reach out and break their spell without things descending into a big mess has been really hard, but it's ok now. I can live and let live.
I continue to seek a deeper understanding of what happened to my mind when I was in Scientology by continuing to read everything I can lay my hands on.
I've read many books including these, that I highly recommend; Carl Sagan's 'Demon Haunted World', also 'Take Back Your Life' by Janja Lalich & Madeleine Tobias, 'Mind Programming' by Eldon Taylor and I've re-read Robert Anton Wilson's 'Prometheus Rising' which is a big favorite.
I've also been reading Derren Brown's 'Tricks Of The Mind' (UK TV presenter with shows on deception etc on YouTube). Really fascinating, his insights into the mechanics of hypnosis. I've read a lot on this before but he's a total sceptic. He debunks the mystery and yet he can still get the result. His analysis of stage hypnosis and how he reckons the largest part that makes it work is the peoples belief in the practitioner (the placebo effect) combined with the perceived 'authority' given to them, and, most importantly... social pressure... or the initial desire to not stand out by calling the bluff which then develops into full scale delusion because they can't face they have been duped...
Sound familiar?
I almost fell off my horse.
I'll never forget how after I first read the OT3 data and being in a state of shock with all these other "OT's" coming up to me afterwards wanting to know how I reacted?
They all had that look on their faces of; "You think it's bullshit too, don't you?".
I, of course, stunned into silence by my "confidentiality agreement" could say nothing other than; "Yes, it's pretty wild!", whilst trying to get my head around what had just happened to me.
At this point, when most unconditioned individuals would run screaming from this mad house known as Scientology, I bided my time trying to understand...
Then, of course, next thing you know, you're in session trying this ridiculous stuff out...
And what do you know... bugger-boo's all over the shop...trap complete... almost...
Easier to face a delusion than the unspeakable consequences of facing the truth.
For a while anyway.
I was fortunate enough to get some time on my own after OT3, thousands of miles away from the 'Org'.
Long enough to allow the higher part of myself to speak.
I had dreams and nightmares. I wrote them in a book. Everyday.
I listened to the language of my unconscious mind.
I then realised what had been done to me.
At first I was so relieved to know the truth.
I made my announcement and told the 'Org' I was leaving. Then I left. For good.
But then for almost two years I had the most unspeakable pain in my head as the conflict of deconstruction began.
Here is where I learnt about why they call Scientology evil.
Even though I consciously knew it was all a load of crap, Scientology had succeeded in both stealing and raping my mind on a very deep and unconscious level.
I didn't talk about the pain because I knew that would keep me in it.
I just kept building my new life.
All that is over now.
So, to all my fellow Ex's, Anonymous renegades and general trouble makers:
I salute you all for contributing to the current undoing of Scientology.
Most of all I salute those here who have had the courage to undo themselves. To reinvent. To laugh and let it go.
Have a great 2010.