Feeling like an outsider ...

sallydannce

Gold Meritorious Patron
Hey there SOLO!

It's not that I disagree with you at all...

But, anyone still "in" reading these posts and seeing the "Spirit of Play" in action here. will almost surely go "downtone" way below "apathy" - or, become "delusionary" - or just "not look". All FLUNKS!

It's the little things that finally get you - like no toilet paper! :omg:

Hi Princess Pixie-Pot! I'm obsessed with you whether "you-know-who" is or not!:blush:

:omg: The mention about lack of toilet paper stirred up some old emotions here.

I got so tired of having to take my own tissues to the bathroom. Such a give-away as you trundle through the org clutching your friggin roll of paper. "Oh look, she's off to take a pee". One's dignity gets all messed up!

Ya know, you give all this passion, your heart & soul, several thousand bucks and you can't even get a bit of toilet paper to wipe your essential bits.

Something not right about that!!! :omg:
 

Pixie

Crusader
Awwwww thanks. :blush:

I hope to some day be cool enough to get my own smiley! Of course, I can't complain, I have my own forum. So I probably shouldn't bitch too much. :p

Your own forum!?!! Gee whiz Grundy, you're the dark horse aren't you! Well no, no need to bitch at all!! You ought to be very very proud of those achievements!! :yes: I thank god every day that I can post at all!! :duh: Never mind 'running a forum'! :eyeroll: Chin up, and be proud! :yes:
 

quietheart

Patron Meritorious
:omg: I've heard this from a few ex's, the closest I can come to imagining that was how I felt have to go to the Hotel next door to you their bathroom at the last job I had, but at least I didn't have to carry around the tp too, yikes. Aren't you soo glad you're out now and can do the :happydance: ?
Esther
:omg: The mention about lack of toilet paper stirred up some old emotions here.

I got so tired of having to take my own tissues to the bathroom. Such a give-away as you trundle through the org clutching your friggin roll of paper. "Oh look, she's off to take a pee". One's dignity gets all messed up!

Ya know, you give all this passion, your heart & soul, several thousand bucks and you can't even get a bit of toilet paper to wipe your essential bits.

Something not right about that!!! :omg:
 

Pixie

Crusader
:omg: I've heard this from a few ex's, the closest I can come to imagining that was how I felt have to go to the Hotel next door to you their bathroom at the last job I had, but at least I didn't have to carry around the tp too, yikes. Aren't you soo glad you're out now and can do the :happydance: ?
Esther

Oh for sure, if I hadn't always been 'prepared' I'd have been going around with a wet bum continuously! I used to have to listen to constant complaints from the public about it too, and I used to 'justify' it!! :duh: :duh: What 'was' I thinking???!! OH.. I forgot.. I WASN'T thinking!! I'd been taught not to! :no:
 

quietheart

Patron Meritorious
Yeah, I know that feeling too, someone would come in and ask for the bathroom, I was like "We don't have one.", they'd be like "Then where do you go :omg: ?" so I'd tell em, boy did I get some weird looks :blush: . I HATED that job:grouch: .
Esther
 

sallydannce

Gold Meritorious Patron
Oh for sure, if I hadn't always been 'prepared' I'd have been going around with a wet bum continuously! I used to have to listen to constant complaints from the public about it too, and I used to 'justify' it!! :duh: :duh: What 'was' I thinking???!! OH.. I forgot.. I WASN'T thinking!! I'd been taught not to! :no:

Yeah, I know that feeling too, someone would come in and ask for the bathroom, I was like "We don't have one.", they'd be like "Then where do you go :omg: ?" so I'd tell em, boy did I get some weird looks :blush: . I HATED that job:grouch: .
Esther

:hysterical: :hysterical: Oh stop it you two!

I can't get over having a wet bum when I was in scientology. I should fucking well sue them for abuse! Trying to be kind & discreetly hand a public person my stashed roll of loo paper (kept neatly in my bottom drawer) when they announced they needed a pee & calmly say "here take this with you" without flinching. Or racing ahead of the person to see if this was the day we had paper in the loo....trying to not look some character out of a Monty Python movie. Took it's toll on me.
 
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quietheart

Patron Meritorious
:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:
Sorry Sally, but that mental picture just has me rollin, good thing I wasn't sippin any of my coffee :p .
Esther
 

grundy

Gold Meritorious Patron
:hysterical: :hysterical: Oh stop it you two!

I can't get over having a wet bum when I was in scientology. I should fucking well sue them for abuse! Trying to be kind & discreetly hand a public person my stashed roll of loo paper (kept neatly in my bottom drawer) when they announced they needed a pee & calmly say "here take this with you" without flinching. Or racing ahead of the person to see if this was the day we had paper in the loo....trying to not look some character out of a Monty Python movie. Took it's toll on me.

It got old. We had somethin like it too.

Er, ladies, kindly act with more decorum!

I don't log on to read about your wet bums! :ohmy:

Ummmm personally any lady that wants to talk about her bum, Im all ears.
 

grundy

Gold Meritorious Patron
Well, I still feel like an outsider.

Some days, I don't know what to do.

I found out from a friend on my game site that according to someone else "he's no good" - WTF?

I spend most of my time there being a good friend and confidente. I don't know. Maybe it's time to keep to myself for a while again.
 

Corsa

Patron with Honors
:omg: The mention about lack of toilet paper stirred up some old emotions here.

I got so tired of having to take my own tissues to the bathroom. Such a give-away as you trundle through the org clutching your friggin roll of paper. "Oh look, she's off to take a pee". One's dignity gets all messed up!

Ya know, you give all this passion, your heart & soul, several thousand bucks and you can't even get a bit of toilet paper to wipe your essential bits.

Something not right about that!!! :omg:

I was lucky for a while - had my office near the bathroom where the execs went! :whistling:
They always had !! :eyeroll: :thumbsup:
TP of course! At least in the mornings ....:blush:
 

nozeno

Gold Meritorious Patron
Well, I still feel like an outsider.

Some days, I don't know what to do.

I found out from a friend on my game site that according to someone else "he's no good" - WTF?

I spend most of my time there being a good friend and confidente. I don't know. Maybe it's time to keep to myself for a while again.

I don't like the sounds of this.

I know I've been an ass to you on occasion on this board, but don't let the bastids get you down. I accept that I am an ass sometimes (well maybe most of the time) and you should too. Embrace your assiness, or whatever it is you envision "they" think you are and don't worry about it. Don't try too hard and keep swingin'.

Do not keep to yourself and don't send me any PM's either. This is about as sensitive as I get.
:bigcry:
 

gomorrhan

Gold Meritorious Patron
Some days just suck, Grundy. I know I wake up on the wrong side of the bed, some days, and it seems like nothing I do is right, even to me. Sometimes those days go on and on. I think it's okay to retreat for a while if this is happening, or if you just need time to reformulate your worldview. However, don't forget to take a "constitutional", even if you are feeling down or put upon. Hubbard called it "take a walk", but it's a very old practice to just go take a long walk. You never really know what you may see, and sometimes, even if it's exactly what you thought you'd see, it reconnects you to a world that has intrinsic value. But, it's perfectly okay to just take a break, too!
 

Boldgirl

Patron Meritorious
Well, I still feel like an outsider.

Some days, I don't know what to do.

I found out from a friend on my game site that according to someone else "he's no good" - WTF?

I spend most of my time there being a good friend and confidente. I don't know. Maybe it's time to keep to myself for a while again.


I do too. First, on this board I dont have the depth of experiences in scn that most do, but enough experience to have a strong opinion and deep pain about it. I didnt have 10-30 years of my life stolen , or my family/friends stolen either. Those that have here I have immense empathy for- though I know no one really wants sympathy.

In life, feeling like an outsider is normal operating procedure to me....and to be honest so many people I know feel the same way all the time ! No kidding. There were 2 brief 'spurts of years' that I felt part of something and didnt feel like an outsider. One was most of my time in scn.

So grundy -- IMO, I meet more non scn's that feel like an outsider than not. That's why I think it is more normal than we think.
I think it is because we are so different from each other and we all hide pain from different experiences in life.

That issue alone--loss and pain--the stuff we all hide and squash so that we function.....this is what I think makes us feel we are outsiders. It's an imprint on the soul.... 'no one' can really understand.
 
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