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Firedragon and Disconnection

Royal Prince Xenu

Trust the Psi Corps.
I started this as a new thread because it varies from the topic started by Firedragon:

Firedragon, when you really read the disconnection policy(s), whether intended in spirit by lrh or not, "disconnection" is the absolute last resort.

Unfortunately in the org, it has become the first resort.

After many years of putting up with the asshole sociopathic nephew on whom many thousands of hours and $$ have been expended, he exposed my real ID in relation to RPX (political sabotage) along with another string of insults--he has special reason to hate me: I am the one in the family who can see through his manipulations--he stressed my Father to death, and now he's stressing his Grandmother to death. Three major aneurisms and triple blood pressure aren't co-incidence.

As of 30 October, I deleted and blocked his FB profile and now consider him deceased, and will be amending all future documentation accordingly. I am supposedly holding a "trust" from my Father for him which will be liquidated (that which cannot be sold off will be thermited and sold as scrap) and refunded to his Grandmother to repay the legal fees she has forked out on his behalf.

This has been tough, and has initiated a grieving process. Scn BS aside, how many people have been in this extreme "prodigal son" situation?

I welcome all comments, positive and negative. After so many years, do I really have any cheeks left to turn?

Do I wait another 20 years until he crawls back on his last elbows, or do I do lrh's thing of "I never had a second wife," and go on living a new life?

This isn't just some blazé comment, I really want people's feedback.
 

thefiredragon

Patron Meritorious
IFiredragon, when you really read the disconnection policy(s), whether intended in spirit by lrh or not, "disconnection" is the absolute last resort.

Unfortunately in the org, it has become the first resort.

.

That's true. I think, disconnection sucks but in some cases it could help a bit, only if the person is real SP but mostly I believe that disconnection is blowing from a problem. It a person really being supressed,he may disconnect if nothing else works,but disconnection should NEVER be forced


--
 

Auditor's Toad

Clear as Mud
I think there are times when the prudent thing is to remove another from our life... and ourselves from their life.

Have I designed my life for some people to not be in it? Absolutely.
 

Dulloldfart

Squirrel Extraordinaire
My opinion? Wash your hands of him, assuming there are no real obligations there. If you give him an entitlement to wreck your life, well, then you get to live with the consequences. He has no innate right to so do.

Paul
 

Alanzo

Bardo Tulpa
After ten years of being out of Scientology, I have never met an SP, but I have had relationships with others that I have severed. This is a natural thing for human beings to do.

Scientology takes this natural thing and makes it work to their advantage. They manipulate people into having loyalty ONLY to "Ron" or to "Scientology" and tell people to severe ties with those who disagree or are not willing to be loyal to those things, too.

That has nothing to do with the natural day-to-day social decision-making you engage in about who you should continue to be friends with or remain connected to.

I see this now as a scenario where you would ask, "Why would you EVER have a group or person in your life who even *thought* they could dictate to you who you could talk to and who you could not?"

People break up, they re-connect, they "take breaks", they shut others out - all the time. It is simply nobody else's business but your own.

Like so much else in Scientology, or any cult, natural human phenomena are manipulated to an extreme, or perverted into scenarios that work only for the cult's interests and against your own.

Take back control of the management of your own social relationships and don't let anyone else dictate to you who or what you can do or say to anyone EVER AGAIN!

No fixed set of solutions or philosophy will ever apply to all situations in life.

Never allow yourself to become subjugated to the dictates of another person or philosophy or religion.

That's what I think.
 

Royal Prince Xenu

Trust the Psi Corps.
OOps, that is a long story, the part where I got involved with an SP starts right here,


http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthread.php?t=20185&page=2

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I got the general gyst of what you meant and it's pretty hideous.

In the case of my ex-nephew unperson:

-he physically assualts family and non-family who won't do things his way;
-he has sexually assaulted his sisters;
-he has self-disowned his "real" family;
-as cited above, he hates me because I can see through his deception.
 

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Dukat

Patron with Honors
Alanzo really summed it all up nicely for me.

I've always wondered how people who believe they are becoming more 'able' need to rush away from anything PTS or anyone SP.

The reality is, the more capable a person is, the more they can tolerate or show indifference. Disconnection is the opposite of this and indicates an immature and underdeveloped person.
 

Royal Prince Xenu

Trust the Psi Corps.
Alanzo really summed it all up nicely for me.

I've always wondered how people who believe they are becoming more 'able' need to rush away from anything PTS or anyone SP.

The reality is, the more capable a person is, the more they can tolerate or show indifference. Disconnection is the opposite of this and indicates an immature and underdeveloped person.

Is it immature to seek a change in location so that you don't keep getting a sledge-hammer in the back of the head?
 

thefiredragon

Patron Meritorious
I got the general gyst of what you meant and it's pretty hideous.

In the case of my ex-nephew unperson:

-he physically assualts family and non-family who won't do things his way;
-he has sexually assaulted his sisters;
-he has self-disowned his "real" family;
-as cited above, he hates me because I can see through his deception.

wow, then disconnection is a good choice. I'm not saying all disconnection is bad, just forced disconnection is bad.I'm a big fan of free will idea

--
 

thefiredragon

Patron Meritorious
Here are some things from the bible about disconnection, if anybody is interested



1Corinthians 5:11–13: But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat. What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside. Expel the wicked man from among you."

Matthew 18:15–17: If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

2Thessalonians 3:6: In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, we command you, brothers, to keep away from every brother who is idle and does not live according to the teaching you received from us.

2Thessalonians 3:14–15: If anyone does not obey what we say in this letter, take note of that person and have nothing to do with him, that he may be ashamed. Do not regard him as an enemy, but warn him as a brother.

Romans 16:17: I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them.

2John 10–11, NASB: If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not receive him into your house, and do not give him a greeting; for the one who gives him a greeting participates in his evil deeds.
 

Royal Prince Xenu

Trust the Psi Corps.
Sorry RPX, I'm having some trouble getting the gist of this.

Is the nephew an active member of CofS?

The only knowledge of CoS known by this unperson is that I was once involved, am now active in undermining the organization, and use the moniker RPX--He is the one who linked my real ID with RPX on FaceBook.
 

uniquemand

Unbeliever
I've had to cut ties with two different people in my life for my own sanity. Neither of them were relatives. I locked one out of my life, literally, with a bicycle lock and a deaf ear, and the other using threats of litigation.

I'm sorry that in your case you have someone within your family that you need to do this with. I had a cousin that I would have had to do this with if he were "on my lines", so to speak, but his distance from me and the infrequency of our contact made it unnecessary.

As we used to say in the Church, just make sure your own hands are clean. Don't do it self-righteously, don't do it vindictively. If you've examined it, and you feel it must be done, well, it must be done.
 

This is NOT OK !!!!

Gold Meritorious Patron
In that case, I'd say this.

NO MATTER WHAT, holding out a "helping hand", especially to a family member seems the right thing to do.

That being said, you don't want to get you hand bit by a vicious dog. So you put a muzzle on it.

From what I read in your story, that's what you're doing by putting him on notice regarding some inheritance or whatever.

Some people call what you're doing "Tough Love".

Sometimes, it's all that left.

Bless you, and GOOD LUCK!
 

Royal Prince Xenu

Trust the Psi Corps.
I've had to cut ties with two different people in my life for my own sanity. Neither of them were relatives. I locked one out of my life, literally, with a bicycle lock and a deaf ear, and the other using threats of litigation.

I'm sorry that in your case you have someone within your family that you need to do this with. I had a cousin that I would have had to do this with if he were "on my lines", so to speak, but his distance from me and the infrequency of our contact made it unnecessary.

As we used to say in the Church, just make sure your own hands are clean. Don't do it self-righteously, don't do it vindictively. If you've examined it, and you feel it must be done, well, it must be done.

I think if it were vindictive, I would not feel grief over it (maybe I'm wrong?). There was a trust left for him by my Father for which I am responsible, however, as my Father specifically stated (as cited before), "When he goes, he's not coming back," I feel perhaps a little vindictive in dissolving said trust, but I believe with the multiple times that my Father made the above statement, his intentions regarding said "trust" would have significantly changed.

This, of course, will result in a huge fight with my sister, who doesn't seem to care where unperson is housed/incarcerated, but insists that Father would never have changed his mind regarding the "trust", even if unperson were to spend time in jail.
 

uniquemand

Unbeliever
It's not my business, but you are soliciting responses, so here's another. If you feel that it's the best thing, do what you must. I recommend meditating on it (just thinking deeply, no hocus pocus). However, another strategy, to retain your own peace in the family, might be to wash your hands of him AND make your sister the executor, if she feels another solution is more proper, but to ask her not to involve you in any discussions or decisions regarding her execution of that trust.
 

shadow

Patron with Honors
Nothing wrong with placing distance between you and distructive influences. You need to decide how much distance is required for you own sanity.
 

Royal Prince Xenu

Trust the Psi Corps.
It's not my business, but you are soliciting responses, so here's another. If you feel that it's the best thing, do what you must. I recommend meditating on it (just thinking deeply, no hocus pocus). However, another strategy, to retain your own peace in the family, might be to wash your hands of him AND make your sister the executor, if she feels another solution is more proper, but to ask her not to involve you in any discussions or decisions regarding her execution of that trust.

I am the Executor. My sister is fighting to keep something for someone about whom she has demonstrated no other care.

Nothing wrong with placing distance between you and distructive influences. You need to decide how much distance is required for you own sanity.

Selling up, moving, using only email and VOIP--living away from my family is not exactly a new or daunting experience. If I could afford a nice little piece of acreage (5-digit price) in Carmel's extended area, I would already be on the way!
 
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