For Those Who Can't Stand Criticism

[Good twin]

Oh so, NOW you come crawling back to me!

Once I dangle the meaningful life carrot out in front of you!

Then my next question is this:

Can developing the ability to withstand and learn from criticism of yourself lead to a more meaningful life?

No, I think you missed my earlier post. Yes it can, and often does.

 

[Good twin]

Funny thing though. Since leaving the cult I've been looking for what was wrong with me before I got in. I've been searching and looking and asking and finding all kinds of stuff and people from my past. It's been an amazing adventure.

But...........

I keeep finding more GOOD things about me, instead of what was/is wrong with me. Maybe that's why it's the right answer. Maybe by looking for the criticism you will find your strengths and beauty and gifts. Maybe by opening the door and being willing to be judged, you will be able to accept and grow.

Oh my. Alanzo???? I think I'm starting to get it. You can come back now.

Here it is.

 

[Alanzo]

Define a 'meaningful lifetime'. I don't think you can because there is no one answer. I pose that the number of answers to that question equals the number of people on earth. Give me the jackpot and I'll decide what a meaningful lifetime is. Maybe I define it as having won a million dollar lottery.

I can't define it for anyone else.

But I can define it for me.

And it ain't winning a million dollar jackpot in the lottery.

Question: If I thoroughly defined a meaningful life right here on ESMB, could I stand, and learn from, the criticism from others who disagreed with me?

 

[Alanzo]

Here it is.

I glossed right over this because I thought you were going to criticize me again, and I just can't take one more post criticizing me.

I think that by getting into the cult, we were all reaching for a more meaningful life. I know I was.

And by joining staff, and working for free, this was my ticket to a more meaningful life.

I was certain of it.

 

[Good twin]

I can't define it for anyone else.

But I can define it for me.

And it ain't winning a million dollar jackpot in the lottery.

Question: If I thoroughly defined a meaningful life right here on ESMB, could I stand, and learn from, the criticism from others who disagreed with me?

yes?

 

[Good twin]

I glossed right over this because I thought you were going to criticize me again, and I just can't take one more post criticizing me.

I think that by getting into the cult, we were all reaching for a more meaningful life. I know I was.

And by joining staff, and working for free, this was my ticket to a more meaningful life.

I was certain of it.

That's okay. I figured you were avoiding my posts in case I flashed you or somethin'.

 

[VaD]

Alanzo,
I hope, you are now free to think and speak (and that Data Series is not botering you anymore).

Your mind is bright.

You have things right.

 

[SweetnessandLight]

Think outside the bubble works, too!

This is what I call useless criticism. It is like somebody is just trying to be witty.

.

Yes dear Vinnie, it is like that ... the purpose is to lighten the mood, so that we all feel better about ourselves and each other, and feel better about being in the moment of the information exchange. Humor is a great survival mechanism! (And lots of fun for most of us!)

Some of our emotional sensors are more finely tuned than others...

Not everyone is up for a big deep logical discussion of these topics. ESMB is a big broad tent that shelters us all!

I understand if you don't hold this same viewpoint, it's o.k. that we are all different in our feelings and perceptions.

 

[SweetnessandLight]

So its the fault of the reader that a writer isn't read? Does that really make sense to you?

Actually, as a teacher...it does to me! :confused2: Sorry.

 

[SweetnessandLight]

It's a silly "survey", imho.

No one here would want to prefer number 2. - It's like Soooo yesterday here, on this board. After all, to those who are still inclined to give an answer #2, what good would it be for you if you know everything that's w"Ron"g with you but have no way to change it? :shock:

Why on earth would you think that any of us here are powerless to change? Change and growth are what life is all about! Try and stop it! It just flows out from the experience of living...even an unexamined life.

 

[Voltaire's Child]

Views and commentary should be countered whenever someone has some feedback to offer.

 

[nexus100]

Actually, as a teacher...it does to me! :confused2: Sorry.

Given the opportunity to select one's own library, one tends to pick interesting stuff. Agreed?

 

[SweetnessandLight]

As Blip says, this is quite a post.

I agree totally.

For me, living a life of meaning is worth way more than a million dollars.

To reframe the question, then:

Which would you choose:

1. A jackpot of a million dollars
2. A meaningful lifetime

Huh???

Still number two here...and may I add:

FREE TIBET!!!

Good point about Tibetan knowledge, values and culture going global as a survival mechanism after vicious attempts at systematic suppression, Alanzo.
To all the lurkers still in, you CAN free yourself!

 

[SweetnessandLight]

Given the opportunity to select one's own library, one tends to pick interesting stuff. Agreed?

Yes, agree fully. For an educated and enlightened person, this is especially true.

Us thinkers and ponderers very possibly own many of the same books in our respective libraries.

 

[SweetnessandLight]

And yet another denizen of ESMB picking the wrong answer again!

A Buddhist would say that your enemies give you a chance to learn.

For instance, the Dalai Lama is a living example of this. The guy is picked to be the king as a little boy and the Chinese come and invade the shit out of his little kingdom and he is exiled.

Then the Chinese start murdering all his lamas, burning all his lamasaries, and doing their best to wipe out all Tibetan culture from Tibet.

This is some mighty criticism, wouldn't you say?

How does the Dalai respond?

By meditating every day on compassion for the Chinese and becoming a publishing power house of Tibetan Buddhism, which has now increased his "kingdom" worldwide.

In fact, had the Chinese not invaded, and The Dalai not learned from his enemies, we here on ESMB would probably know about Tibetan Buddhism, but very few others on the planet would have.

So my point is that those who can not stand criticism are doomed to learn very little, and miss huge opportunities for growth, abundance and even happiness.

Isn't that weird?

One of my Aikido Senseis (teachers) taught me to seek out the person or people in any group that was most difficult and antagonistic to my personality, and to sit with, work with and train with that person, despite my desire to play with the people I liked and enjoyed being with, as they are the ones who will be my greatest teachers (about my self and the way I interact with others in particular as well as life in general) out of the entire group.

I see these seeming "clashes" of minds or personalities here on the board very much in the light of that.

 

[SweetnessandLight]

Oh so, NOW you come crawling back to me!

Once I dangle the meaningful life carrot out in front of you!

Then my next question is this:

Can developing the ability to withstand and learn from criticism of yourself lead to a more meaningful life?

Well duh, of course it does!

This is just part of the ongoing lifelong learning process...filtering, sifting and utilizing constant feedback (positive and negative criticism from the Universe, in all it's forms)

Where have you people been, in some kind of a mental bubble?

Oh...
(never mind.)

 

[VaD]

Why on earth would you think that any of us here are powerless to change? Change and growth are what life is all about! Try and stop it! It just flows out from the experience of living...even an unexamined life.

I was going to say the same.

(it's just that my language is poor)

 

[Alanzo]

One of my Aikido Senseis (teachers) taught me to seek out the person or people in any group that was most difficult and antagonistic to my personality, and to sit with, work with and train with that person, despite my desire to play with the people I liked and enjoyed being with, as they are the ones who will be my greatest teachers (about my self and the way I interact with others in particular as well as life in general) out of the entire group.

I see these seeming "clashes" of minds or personalities here on the board very much in the light of that.

Compare this teaching to Hubbard's, which demonized critics and criticism and taught "never listen to the critic, instead look for his crimes", etc.

Which teaching is more likely to lead to greater causation and moves one closer to happiness, enlightenment, and a more meaningful life?

 

[VaD]

One of my Aikido Senseis (teachers) taught me to seek out the person or people in any group that was most difficult and antagonistic to my personality, and to sit with, work with and train with that person, despite my desire to play with the people I liked and enjoyed being with, as they are the ones who will be my greatest teachers (about my self and the way I interact with others in particular as well as life in general) out of the entire group.

I see these seeming "clashes" of minds or personalities here on the board very much in the light of that.

S&L, I'm a ai-ki-do person as well.

 

[SweetnessandLight]

I can't define it for anyone else.

But I can define it for me.

And it ain't winning a million dollar jackpot in the lottery.

Question: If I thoroughly defined a meaningful life right here on ESMB, could I stand, and learn from, the criticism from others who disagreed with me?

You're the only one who can answer this for yourself, honey.

We each have to discover our own answer and tolerance level for evaluating and incorporating honest criticism about our selves and our choices, no matter from whence it comes.

If one were raised with a lot of unfair or overly harsh criticism (or flat out verbal/emotional abuse, as many people are), one might be overly sensitive or rejecting of any and all criticism, even when it was meant for one's good.

One might have sought out a highly structured lifestyle where praise and criticism was seemingly set forth according to clear guidelines and a fairly rigid system of rules or "ethics". Such a system might feel safe, and "meaningful" to such a person. For them, it might take more courage and be more painful to hear free-flowing criticism (natter and entheta) and put it in it's perspective in their life. Playing with others who mostly care about you might help to make this adjustment slightly easier.

Do you think perhaps this is what Marty might be doing, in part, with his blog, and with controlling to the extreme who can post what on it? (A little editing for clarity and decency is common sense, when you are in charge.) It seems dysfunctional to me, to consistently screen out those who mightily disagree with you or your viewpoints.

Or even what Ron and the early pioneers of Dianetics and Scientology might have been doing in co-creating such a systematized lifestyle, with so little actual freedom in it, while promoting it as "the way to Total Freedom"?

Was it dysfunctional of you Alanzo, back in the day, to routinely disregard those friends who had warnings and criticisms for you regarding Scientology and your level of involvement with it, the extent to which you allowed it to pervade and take over your life?

Do you think those COS loyalists who are disregarding the truth about the history and current scene of their religion because it is "critical" or comes from those that have been labeled "Critics" is functional (sane and healthy) behavior?

Each of us has our own internal compass that points us toward "meaningful", it is whatever it means to us as individuals. For some, it may be more painful to follow this independently, and easier to follow someone else's map. This is how I understand that many become trapped by other's "systems" with rigid ideologies and rules, whether cults, religions, political parties, multi-level marketing schemes, business models, whatever.

Humans are herd, or pack animals, after all. We are hard-wired to both lead, and follow. I see this so clearly, this is why I don't blame anyone for getting or staying involved with Scientology...up to the point where it clearly becomes ABUSIVE and DESTRUCTIVE to your life and to others. Reality check!

Belonging to a group one admires (however falsely), and being part of a purpose greater than self, which gives life greater meaning, is a powerful hook. As Good Twin has said, it can be like an addiction.

I am living a meaningful life, and very grateful to be doing so! .
I have never needed Scientology to help me with this, and I frankly don't feel that anyone else does either. That's the honest truth, as I see it.