forgive me... just gotta vent!

I was at a perfect fairy tale wedding today. A handsome young groom stood at the altar with a beautiful young bride pledging to each other their vows of marriage. Outside the sun shone and spring made it's mark on the gardens of the church. As the bride and groom ran towards their cream Rolls Royce a hundred friends and family threw confetti. I looked at my partner, picking bits of confetti out of her hair and smiled. I was happy. I was a million miles from my cult past, amongst friends and celebrating one of the great joys of life.

At the reception with the champagne flowing and the mingling in full swing my phone buzzed. I looked down at a text from my dad. Great.

My Dad is still a Scientologist. We have a strained relationship but at least we talk. He knows not to discuss the subject with me and I know not to divulge anything that will get him in trouble. Awkward as hell but it works, sort of. In any event we rarely talk and texts from him usually mean he fancies a chat.

Dad's text; "How are things?"

My reply; "Good thanks... Sorry but I'm just at a wedding... Did you want to chat? Probably best tomorrow.x"

Dad; "Need some help from you if you're able. sooner is better than later."

At this point I got the evils from the girlfriend. Not good form to be texting at a wedding reception but I'm a bit worried something is wrong now so I quickly sent;

"That sounds ominous... is everything alright??"

I went back to the chit chat as best I could but he never replied to my text so now my mind is racing. We may not be close but he is my dad and I'm wondering if he's in some real trouble or in hospital, etc. I apologize to everyone and slip off to ring him.

The phone call went like this.

dad "Hey there..."

me "Dad... what's up? You alright?"

dad "Yeah I'm great... really great..."

me "You're fine?"

dad "Yep great..."

me "Why did you say you needed help with something?"

dad "Um... yeah..."

Now I'm a little annoyed... he's acting a bit weird but is clearly okay.

me "What? what did you need help with?"

dad "Well... Um..."

me "What?"

dad "I need five grand"

Now my Dad has struggled since he left the SO a few years ago. In his 60's there isn't a lot of opportunities available to him. As such he does what he can but heavily relies on the ex-so/public scino LA community. For this reason I have been respectful of his continued scino belief in the hopes that in time he would move on. I have also always said if he needs money to get him through any rough spots to please call. He never has. And he has been through some very rough spots.

me "Sorry?"

dad "I need five grand"

me "um... okay... what do you need it for?

dad "I'm at flag and I've run out of hours"

I looked over at everyone holding their champagne glasses and chatting away. My girlfriend was speaking to the bride. They both looked beautiful. I looked at the sun glistening through the trees. One of the waiters held a tray of canapes in front of me. I stared at him blankly.

dad "hello... are you still there?"

I felt nauseous. I wanted to hang up and pretend I hadn't heard him. I wanted it all to be some sort of weird dream. Ten years of deprogramming myself, building a new life from scratch and somehow balancing the family politics around the dark secret we have without anyone getting declared/disconnected, etc. Five years of helping my dad get out of the SO and entering the real world. Five years of slowly broaching the subject of how insane this all is. Christ last I spoke to him he still had a freeloader debt he wasn't paying off. Now he's at flag and he's run out of fucking hours? And he thinks he can get $5,000.00 off of the child who he let join the SO at age 5 and who 20 years later had to literally run through the desert to get away? Get $5,000.00 so he can sit down and fuck his head up even more?:omg:

I don't really remember what I said at that point. I was as polite as I possibly could be before I hung up.

Sorry to inflict this verbal diarrhea on you all... had to vent.

I don't remember the last time I was so angry. :angry:
 

GreyWolf

Gold Meritorious Patron
It really burns me up at how shameless the regges are. Getting the old man to call and borrow from you. These regges will do anything to make a buck. I am sorry that this is happening to you, but I know that you will be ok.

Bob
 

byte301

Crusader
That's really sad, lifeinblue. Welcome to ESMB by the way. :)

It's obvious you love your dad. Do you think he would disconnect if you didn't lend him the money? It's like giving money to a drug addict. You know the money will be spent on drugs and that the drugs are only going to hurt the person.
 
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EP - Ethics Particle

Gold Meritorious Patron
I was at a perfect fairy tale wedding today.

...snip...

Get $5,000.00 so he can sit down and fuck his head up even more?:omg:

I don't really remember what I said at that point. I was as polite as I possibly could be before I hung up.

Sorry to inflict this verbal diarrhea on you all... had to vent.

I don't remember the last time I was so angry. :angry:

Your anger is very appropriate,

If you have the resources, offer him a few bucks and a plane ticket to wherever he may reside. (preferably not too near you)

You might say something along the lines of "you don't need a license to be a damn fool".

It is a tough situation, and I do not envy your role here.

EP
 

Dukat

Patron with Honors
That's really sad, lifeinblue. Welcome to ESMB by the way. :)

It's obvious you love your dad. Do you think he would disconnect if you didn't lend him the money? It's like giving money to a drug addict. You know the money will be spent on drugs and that the drugs are only going to hurt the person.


This is so true. Don't send him money as the reg will convince him to spend it on something [don't they always think of something?]

By doing the right thing, you aren't enabling him. Most likely this will kick his critical thinking mind into gear and he'll realize they are a cult, you are his son and obviously his 'life line' or he wouldn't have called you for money.

He'll blow one day and thank you for being firm. Hope you get over the anger and realize that you're doing tough-love on a brainwashed family member. Good for you!
 

R6Basic

Patron Meritorious
Welcome Lifeinblue.

Wow, you sound like a parent with a child who is addicted to drugs.
 

Kathy (ImOut)

Gold Meritorious Patron
Welcome. At least you had a nice day before the phone call.

How does one go from a freeloader debt to needing $5K for Flag? A rhetorical question. I just find it amazing and unbelievable (not the story, just that it can happen).

I'd love to hear your story about running thru the desert. When you're willing to share that.

Vent here anytime. That's what we're here for - to help each other recover. Without venting, I don't know how I would have recovered.
 

Boojuum

Silver Meritorious Patron
Ah hah, it all comes back to me now

Yup. the ridiculous calls, the preposterous requests, the nothing is too much to ask for mentaility that never goes away but lurks and lurks but eventually bites. Too bad if it destroys your wog relationships. Too bad you're really happy now. Too bad that you're trying to put your life together and it's all rickety but eventually it'll work but there's that weird thing from your past that occationally leaps out and bites you.

It's Scientology and it just sucks. Too bad about your dad.

Venting and screaming is what we all should have done when we were asked to do the stupid, the ridiculous and insane.

VENT, VENT, VENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It makes us all stronger.
 

Barbz

Patron with Honors
$5000 is a lot of money. I hate the way people are told that they can just postulate money and it will come.

It reminds me of this Nichiren Buddhist guy who spent every evening chanting at his Gohonzon like mad. One day he chanted for rent money, and later found a purse with enough in it to pay the rent. Did he return it? No! He chanted for it, so obviously it was meant for him.

I suspect postulating money includes bothering people until they kick it down. Not winning the lottery, or being the beneficiary of some long-lost relative's will, just getting the money in hand any way they can.

Even if it means bothering a semi-estranged daughter on her friend's wedding day!

I feel sorry for the poor guy, so deep into Hubbard's sludge that he won't help himself out of the mire.

Flag...ugh! It's like the La Brea Tarpits.
 

Been Done Had

Patron with Honors
Welcome!

And thank you for venting! Sorry your father had to spoil such a wonderful, normal, beautiful event for you.

Please don't give him any money. It's best for him and best for you. I hope you've come out to your partner and explained what's going on. It can be difficult to own being in a kooky cult, but it's worth it in the end.

The church has been forgiving freeloader debts lately to get people back on lines where they can be PRed and watched closely. A lot of disaffected ex-SO has been turning to the dark side (the critics) lately.

Be ready for more pressure from your father. He may be put on a program to handle you. If the price of being normal and happy is not having him in your life, be ready to pay it.

Stay strong!
 

Enthetan

Master of Disaster
It might be a good sign.

If he was calling you, it might mean that he had run out of other options and the reg was having him try you as a last resort. If you turn him down, he will probably have to come home. Possibly he won't have rent money for the end of the month either, and the next call will be to ask if he can move in.
 

Cherished

Silver Meritorious Patron
The wedding sounds beautiful. You are building a new life. Enjoy every moment.

I'm so, so sorry to hear of this development. I really hope your Dad can't stay at Flag.

:bighug:
 

GoNuclear

Gold Meritorious Patron
redges ...

Redges do have a way of getting into your head, don't they. By the time they are done with their pitch you have no shame left about attempting to shake down relatives and friends for money. For me, I was only public, never staff or a sea ogre, but, nevertheless, I keep logging on here hoping to read about how the cult finally folded up their tent and moved out of the USA or was totally busted.

Pete
 

Panda Termint

Cabal Of One
Having Parishioners call family and friends (and asking them for a loan) from the Reg desk is SOP at Flag.

They don't care *how* they get the money, they just insist that the poor schmo "makes it go right" to get them the money.

I know of instances where Flag Registrars have had public call complete strangers (other Flag Public) in an effort to arrange loans/financing.

Welcome to ESMB, lifeinblue.
I know it's your Dad we're talking about but don't give in to the temptation to become a scientology enabler.
 

Happy Days

Silver Meritorious Patron
Welcome lifeinblue... venting is OK we do understand...

Stay strong and don't give your dad the money it's got disaster written all over it. He may run a guilt trip on you but stay true to what you know is right.

Enjoy your life... :yes:

All the best.
 

Outethicsofficer

Silver Meritorious Patron
Just for one moment pretend it is the other way around let us say it was you calling your dad for the $ and you new he was not supportive of your involvement with the church, now we kinda know what most dad's in this situation would say...and bingo a PTS is made!

Your dad in the above scenario would have no consideration about creating a PTS situation. Should you?

Your dad has a PTS situation even if neither of you are mentioning it.

James.
 
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